From the front cover
In 2011, scientist, inventor, explorer, and great mind of the new millennium Dr. Silas Hunter proved that there is more than one universe! Using his patented Superstring Manipulation Equalizer, he documented and recorded first contact with the denizens of dozens of parallel worlds Follow him now on his original journey of Equus, a parallel world that is now focus of several popular books, television shows, movies, hologames, and blogs!
From the back cover
Dr. Silas Hunter was born and raised in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Graduating from the University of Florida in 2010 with an MS in applied physics, he was awarded a PhD in quantum physics from Dartmouth University in 2017 shortly after his breakthrough with superstring manipulation theory. Dr. Hunter served as a consultant to NASA, DARPA, and AFLAC. He has also been awarded an honorary doctorate of humanities for his work in the fields of xenopsychology and human-xeno relations.
worth a look!
not bad, but not that good, I will keep an eye on it.
4112075
The hell you saying mo fo. This has more potential than the last 200 unfinished crappy fanfics I've read.
You now have your first follower, Captain.
4112583 I sincerely hope that this is sarcastic, if not I am incredibly sorry for you.
4112743
Yes you better feel sorry for me.
4112741
4112583
I greatly appreciate the feedback! I actually came up with the idea for this about 3 months ago, and it's been on the back burner for a while. I wrote most of what you saw yesterday, so if it is sloppy, it was because I wanted to get the technobabblific part out of the way first.
4112075
I appreciate your feedback too. Any suggestions for improvement?
Even though this is not finished this is really good quality fanfic.
The technobabble is sadly a little long on the babble and short on the techno. If that makes any sense. There's a bit of a disconnect between the casual tone of the prose, the rather formal chapter titles, and the distressingly vague technical details. Like someone's personal memoirs got tossed in the blender with a news article about something scientific, and the result was submitted to an academic journal.
There's nothing wrong with the casual tone, in itself. For a good example of how to do this well, see Isaac Asimov's nonfiction science essays from The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. Real science, technical detail, personal anecdotes, relaxed and casual prose. Like sitting down with the good doctor and having a chat over a cup of coffee.
What's missing, I think, is characterization. Our narrator has a bit of a bland personality. There's no wit or polish or enthusiasm to his storytelling. It's more like sitting down with your neighbors as they share their vacation photos.
Or at least, that's the best I can describe it.
Also, I take personal offense at the blatant abuse of the word 'frequency'.
4121052 this story is was designed to be one part biography, one part action novel, and one part romance. I haven't really had a lot of time to develop my protagonist fully, but i want to portray him as serious and uptight at first, easing into Equestrian life as time goes on. An academic journal is almost exactly how it will start out, but after major events unfold, life will take a serious turn for the weird.
4121249 i'm going to guess this story is dead, unless you post a new chapter and reply that it is not.
This story has done nothing but frustrate me, with it's lack of understanding on the theory of inter-universal travel, via folding of the higher dimensions, utilizing Einstein-Rosen Bridge technology. Not to mention that he'd already be observed by some part of his government, if only for the suspiciously exorbitant amount of energy he'd have to have generated to power the fucking think for even a nano-second.
In short, work on utilizing particle collision as a baseline for a nuclear fusion reactor. Seriously, how has no one thought of that yet? I can understand not slamming to gravitational singularities formed from compressing mater to their given Schwartzchild Radius into one another, inside a particle accelerator, but if one knows the right precautions to make it safe, then I don't see why not. Especially when one takes all possible safety precautions.
Basically, I want to take DARPA, West Tec, Black Mesa, Blackwatch, Aperture Science, and AIM, and roll them into one big R&D department, and take it to Equestria. Because screw you guys, hail Hydra.