• Member Since 27th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 8th

HellRyden


Well, I'm one of the few bronies that hail from Singapore. Still, I'm here to put my writing skills to the test, so leave feedback if you enjoyed one of my stories! Peace out! ^^

T
Source

The Elements of Harmony are known to many as the most powerful form of magic known to Equestria. Together, their combined might has cleansed deities as powerful as Nightmare Moon of the evil that plagued her, and has imprisoned forces as insidious as Discord, the embodiment of Chaos itself.

So when news of six mysterious strangers, evidently not of this world, arrives in a letter from the Princess, with rumors abound that they are searching for the Bearers of the Elements, Twilight Sparkle is rather concerned, and more than a little suspicious, of their intentions for the Elements of Harmony, fearing that they might be plotting to either destroy them, or somehow steal its power for some unknown, nefarious purpose...

Except that they're not plotting the theft, or destruction, of the Elements.

They're plotting a succession - a succession of power UNTO the Bearers of the Elements. Powers the likes of which ponykind has never witnessed - and power which may upset the balance of magic in Equestria forever...

Book One of Three of the Codex: Equestria, and the first part of an epic trilogy that will shake the very foundations of Equestria as we know it.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 264 )

Wow. :rainbowderp:
Interesting story and tracking.
Must of been hard to write all 9,000+ words. Keep writing! :ajsmug:

EEEEEEEEEEE Gurren Lagann / Kamina reference Nostalgia everywhere :pinkiecrazy:

Amazing fic so far I give thee 5 out of 5 moustaches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

MY GOD! THIS IS SO INTERESTING! I am loving this story and am thirsty for more. Ahhh what's going to happen?! I. MUST. KNOW! :flutterrage::flutterrage:

Wow, this is awesome! :rainbowkiss:
Tracking!

This story is great. Keep it up and I will wait for the next chapter.:scootangel:

(Hot-Blooded?) Pinkie is the master of all anime references. I applaud you, good sir/madam, for doing something of such amazing caliber :twilightsmile:

Kingdom Heats
Bleach
Gurren Laggan
WOOOOOO
did i miss any?

you sir are THE MAN

381411

Hmmm...
Final fantasy
Devil may cry
Neon genesis evangelion
Just to name a few... ^^

381705 you would think that with all of these diffrent refrences it would get confusing but you have put evrything in subtly except for the KH1 tutorial:pinkiecrazy:

Nox

One thing: the mane six seemed to hold their weapons like humans...can we assume they took human form in these dreams or something?

381841. Very astute! You'll realize that I put in little to no references to pony physiology during the dream sequence, only a couple of 'human' references. They were meant to be that way, and the mane 6 will only have memories of a "slightly weird" dream where their bodies were "all wrong". This will come into play in the next chapter.

Nox

381843

Ah, I always have had an eye for detail. I just needed to be sure it was intentional and not just something overlooked.

On that note, I'd like to say I loved how the dreams overlapped, it was a great way to tell us what was going on in all the dreams without making us read six times the necessary information. I also like how every pony got a diffrent combo with the sword/shield/staff part.

Finally...Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantacy, Devil May Cry, Bleach, Neon-Genesis Evangelion, Gurren Laggan, and of course My Little Pony...I think you just hit the perfect storm of 'relevant to my interests' here.

Epic. Period.

At the beginning, it seems fitting to put 'Previously, on...' , at least, that's what I thought.

Ok, that was epic :moustache:

Keep it coming. Can't wait for the next chapter.:scootangel:

Amazing chapter once again good sir and if I haven't already I giveth thee 5 out of 5 moustaches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Right, let's see here...

Twilight is wielding the Lance of Longinus, obviously.
Fluttershy has, I think, Orihime's Shun Shun Rikka.
Dash is the bearer of Nero's sword from DMC3.
Applejack has what I really, REALLY hope is Gut's Dragon Slayer. Because yay Berserk.
Rarity... yeah, I've got nothing. Staffs are kind of a common weapon.
And Pinkie, naturally, has pierced the heavens with her drill. And Spiral Power.

Well, now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business!

Your writing style was, in a word, amazing. Descriptions and actions flowed together almost perfectly throughout the chapters, painting wondrous pictures in my mind and causing my hand to grip my mouse tighter and tighter with every line. Grammar errors and mistakes were either nonexistent, or very good at hiding. What's most astounding, however, is the fact that this is supposed to be the story's exposition, the part of the story that's boring and hard to get through. If the beginning was this action packed, then I can't wait til you make it to the climax!

The only thing that struck me as off about the story was Pinkie's behavior when trying to get Fluttershy to touch the emerald. Yes, she's the resident prankster, but Pinkie's also expressed utter loathing at the very idea of trying to mock, startle, or harm her timid friend in any way whatsoever. I don't know, just doesn't seem quite right to me...

But with that sole exception, magnificent job! This was absolutely brilliant; very well done!

384475 Haha, glad you enjoyed it! You've gotten most of the references down pat except for Dash's (It's DMC4, not DMC3 :P), but I guess I didn't describe AJ's sword and Rarity's staff well-enough. AJ was meant to be carrying the Buster Sword, and Rarity was meant to have Raising Heart from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, but these are placeholder weapons - the ones they actually obtain later in the story (GAH SPOILERS) MIGHT be different.

I suppose you have a point there regarding Pinkie's behaviour, but we're a little past correcting that already. I'll see what I can do about it, but most of my effort is focused on pumping out future chapters right now. As for how the climax will turn out... I just intend to simply top the scale again and again with more and more outrageous concepts and taking refuge in audacity :pinkiecrazy: It will be AWESOME.

Would you like a list of places I draw my references from, or would you rather wait and see just how the story will top itself over and over again? :trollestia:

384587 As Professor Song so succinctly put it: "Spoilers :raritywink:" Thanks for the offer, but I'd much rather experience the full shock and awe that your story has so much potential for. So long as you don't mind me clogging your comments with guesses as to which series you're referencing, I intend to have quite a bit of fun with this.

Yeah, I was kind of hoping against hope that Applejack was channeling a bit of Guts there; the Buster Sword was the far more obvious choice. Although, in my defense, Dragon Slayer is also a pretty nondescript Zweihänder. Never heard of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha though. Might have to look that up sometime.

Moving on, I wasn't trying to suggest that you should go back and edit Pinkie's actions; Lord knows I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter. However, I find that leaving comments that do nothing but gush praise and laud the author is kind of pointless, at least in my own experience. Sure, it's always nice to hear nice things said about your work, but if you never get any criticism how are you going to improve? Nothing is ever perfect, but all that means is that there's always a way to make it better!

Hence, I try and tinge most of my comments with a few negative bits, pointing out aspects of whatever story I personally feel could be improved. Obviously I make sure to express my overall impression (Most likely positive if I'm dedicated enough to write out a comment), but everyone needs to hear some criticism now and then.

The combination of the multitude of songs builds the mood; you remind me of Arthur Miller (He had a tendency to write down "stage directions" in his book to immerse himself and the reader into the novel itself. The ingenuity of the device is how quickly the reader is enveloped in this world of sound and images, similar to a movie)! Excellent work! I eagerly await for more. :pinkiehappy:

O COME ON
he turned into a human she better be able to turn back

435029 She... DID turn back at the end of the chapter...

^ lol

Awesome chapter. So are they going to be able to change willingly or what?

435224 That would be the equivalent of giving out spoilers... heheh

...dammit. The classic wait for the next chapter/episode begins!

435113 im sorry i must have accedentaly glazed over that part :fluttercry:

YES this is amazing

Sincerely the Doctor

Oh mai gawd. That fight left me blind and on the verge of a seizure. SO MANY DAMN LIGHTS.

438226 Haha! Glad you liked it! What'd you think of the soundtrack? I put in hours just trying to find the right piece of music to fit the mood of the scene, yet nobody seems to be commenting on it! :ajsleepy:

438259
The soundtrack was great! The "Viral Theme" was probably the most fitting for North Blitz's first appearance. I enjoyed the music through and through!

Holy Shit. :pinkiegasp: That was awesome! :pinkiehappy: The fight was incredibly well done and had it alot of action too. And that was just Dash's. I can't wait to see what the other Mane 6 have to go through in their fight's. This is easily one of the best stories I've read in a long time and it deserves more views and likes in my opinion.

SO INTERESTING! I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!! Awesome fight scene btw XD Excitedly await the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

Nox

Huh, glad her human form keeps her wings, otherwise she would never want to use it. I have to wonder though, will Twilight and Ratity have horns shooting out of their heads? It seems less nessisary and more goofy in my mind so I hope not. Instead their magic can be used in a more classic Mage style.

440143 Yep that's the plan, heh. Even I find humans with horns to be weird, so they'll have it in a more classic mage style. You could envision it as a sort of classic fighter-thief-mage combination between the three types of ponies and their human forms.

439703 SOME of the Mane 6 might not have fights per se, because each method of inheritance depends on which is the pony's strongest attribute. Dash was headstrong and prone to rushing in along the most direct path - Melchior's approach with her reflected that. As for the other members of the Order... well, we already know that Rarity is obsessed with finesse and displays of flair and splendour. Applejack, like RD, is direct and straightforward. Fluttershy is horrible at combat but she has an incredibly strong will and psyche. Pinkie Pie is... well, unpredictable, to say the least, heh. You can expect balls-out hot-blooded Crazy Awesome from her. And Twilight is an intellectual above all, but she also has prodigious spellcasting talent. Let your brain stew on those for a while to determine what kind of fights await our other heroines :rainbowdetermined2:

Pretty interesting, and very fast-paced and actiony. The only problems I have is if the excessive japanese names keep on that's going to get annoying and there are some major logic fails. Like Rainbow somehow being able to fly with bones in her wings broken.

446426 How Rainbow was able to fly with the bones in her wings broken: The very same reason how SPARTAN super-soldiers are able to continue to fight despite suffering horrific wounds. They block out the pain. Rainbow Dash at the moment was channeling a huge amount of innate magical energy through her body that allowed her to push past the pain and achieve incredible feats of strength and endurance. This will be addressed and explained later in the story.

Oh right, and sorry about the Japanese, but that's going to be a part of the story. So, sorry if you don't like it, but I've decided it's going to stick around.

446797 Ok, I'll see about coping with the japanese, but if you break a leg, no amount of blocking out pain is going to enable you to run because the support structure for your muscles is damaged. Continuing to move would just sever tissue. The SPARTANs had reinforced bones and powered armor to reinforce their bodies, Rainbow Dash has neither.

447103 It's magic, that is all, heh. Magic is reinforcing her body. I don't need to explain anything else. Things will eventually reach a point where they go up against forces equal to gods. At that point, things like pesky broken bones and flesh wounds are going to be the least of their concerns.

447107 So yet-to-be-explained magic somehow reinforcing her body? Some part of me wants to contest that and say yes that does need an explanation, but I've been in a few conversations where I said "Spiral Energy works because it does and it's awesome, shut up, science is invalid here." Still I think the difference here is the form of media, I think. Visual/Audio vs Literary. In literary, explanation is all you got.

447123 Don't worry, explanations will come later in the story, haha. Just for now, to prevent spoilers, accept the temporary explanation that "it was magic, I don't have to explain anything". Yet.

Alright! Well, that was one hell of a wild ride. And now for the discussion:

So, I'm going to bet that Melchior is based on various Bleach characters, considering that he pulled off a Getsuga Tensho, and what I can only assume is his equivalent of a Bankai. Because if summoning an armor-clad lightning elemental is just a Shikai, then damn.

Nice job of implementing Rainbow's various abilities, shifting them from mere stunts to tools of war. Really, you just handled Dash's character well overall; it seems to me that you captured her personality and reactions perfectly, alternating her between cocky and terrified quite adroitly. I suppose Fluttershy could be considered this chapter's other big character, and you did a fine job with her as well. It should be fun to see how you handle her whenever she gets her big moment.

The battle scenes, as has already been stated in not so many words, were quite impressive; they carried a fast-paced, electrifying sensation, perfectly suited for characters such as these. Actions and reactions, rains of blows and strikes, barely a spare second to catch their breath. And yes, the music was very well suited, only amplifying the overall experience.

However, I do find myself agreeing with Sithis on the whole "it's magical healing" thing. While you made it evident that the lightning... element thing, whatever it's called, the topaz stuck in her was keeping her alive and moving, shattered bones, especially in something as fragile as a wing, can't be repaired with pure adrenaline. Horrible wounds, bruises, and I'd say even dislocations can be explained by the energy pulsing through Dash, but without something to reinforce her bones, to keep them locked in place even when broken, her wings should have been torn to absolute shreds. *Cough*Beserker Armor*Cough*

Once again, great chapter. Eagerly looking forward to the next one. And I promise to shut up about Berserk now.

448653 Thanks for all the feedback! I'll be sure to clear up everything about how Rainbow survived her fight and pulled off all of her impossible feats of endurance via explanation and investigation by our resident egghead Twilight, heheh, but that'll be in future chapters.

moooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:flutterrage:

mother of god, that..was...EPIC!:rainbowkiss:

375250 Mariorulez14
Excuse me, i'm new here, but how do you track?

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