Rockspeak

Maud talks to Boulder, and Boulder talks back. Maud, much like most others obsessed with rocks, is a Geotongue, meaning she understands rocks. When Maud and Boulder arrive at the academy, Maud hopes to spend the next two years honing her skills. Boulder, on the other hand, wants to socialize. Boulder ends up hearing things that will either put him, or the whole campus, in huge danger...

Written for WTG #012

Art by DeviantArtist angelstar

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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Ysengrimmus

Ysengrimmus #1 · Mar 20th, 2014 · · ·

Truly Outrageous.

Kai_

Kai_ #2 · Mar 20th, 2014 · · ·

this is nice real nice

SolongStarbird

SolongStarbird #3 · Mar 20th, 2014 · · ·

4106736 Hopefully in a good way...

nomotog

nomotog #4 · Mar 20th, 2014 · · ·

Ya I liked it.

pertelote345

pertelote345 #5 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · · ·

This was really creative and interesting! I look forward to reading more of it!
Writer's training ground criticism:

Strangely I feel like this story was moving too fast. Scenery description would help. We're seeing this world of rocks through Maud's eyes so I sort of imagine it being a bit more vibrant to her and we, the readers should understand why.

When you say:
"There was very little greenery in the park. Most of the park was composed of rocks. Dull, grey and brown, rocks. Maud loved it."

I get that you're trying to be funny, but I feel like it would draw us into Maud's world a bit more if you did something like:
The park was glorious. It did not waste its time with extravagant greenery, all around it were strewn majestic rocks soaking up the warm rays of the sun. Some allowed the shining light to bleach them a shimmering white while others stubbornly held onto their vibrant hues of brown and grey and even a flamboyantly muddy red... Maud was so inspired by their beauty she almost smiled.

Also, I feel like it would be helpful if you spent a bit more time on establishing the relationship between her and boulder. Is he an exciting force, constantly trying to get Maud to go out and do new things? What did he think of their time together in Ponyville? Does Maud deliberately slow herself down to make him more comfortable?

And, more details would be great!
Do all rocks see ponies as incredibly fast? Are there some rocks which can talk to ponies and others which can't so the ones that can have to act as interpreters? Will there be classes for the rocks as well as the ponies?

I hope this stuff helps. Good luck!

SolongStarbird

SolongStarbird #6 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · · ·

4116143 My stories for the writer's training ground always seem to end up a bit rushed. They only give us like 4 days to write it. I only submitted the first chapter to the WTG, so you can expect me to take more time with the next chapters.
Thank you for the critisism.