My Human
It's been a little over a month now since she arrived. And all she ever does is sit on that hill staring at the mountains. Maybe this was her way of coping, or maybe she just didn't want to try. This one never talked, and her form seemed of one as a statue.
And that was fine with me. In a way, she reminded me of mah brother. Both of them had a lot of similarities, as well as many differences. To me, they were both the same kind of apple on the outside, but different tasting on the inside.
...okay if you take what ah just said the wrong way ah'll buck you into next harvest season.
But back to her, as ah said before she arrived here a little over a month ago, but the poor girl was so banged and torn apart that none of us thought this creature would survive. She was immediately rushed over to the hospital, where many of our doctors spent days upon days to keep her alive. She was in and out of surgery more times then ah wish ah could count. Once they finished, she was good as new!
Well physically at least.
When she woke up her eyes showed no sign of life in them. Like she was still asleep, but awake at the same time. It brought a chill down through my spine to my tail. At first ah feared her, we knew nothing of this creature and I would do anything to protect my family.
But what ah saw next changed all that, she looked at her hands for a few moments, which ah thought at first were claws just like Spike's, before ah saw her whole form begin to shake.
"...why am I still alive?"
Those were the first and last words she ever said. She began to cry into them. Ah don't know why, but after that, ah wanted to protect her.
A few days later after that ah took her back to the farm, she seemed to follow me so it was okay. Twilight originally wanted to take her to Canterlot for the princesses to see, but ah told her it might not be a safe trip for her since she just got out of the hospital. That might have been a dumb excuse but somewhere in me told me that she would disappear the second ah looked away. The sad part was that ah did seem to lose her on the way to inform the family.
I panicked looking for her; searching every tree and barn in hopes nothing happened to her. Luckily though I found her on that one hill, watching the sunset go down past the hills, she was so mesmerized with it I thought it did some good for her.
But that thought soon vanished when she didn’t move from the hilltop. No matter how many times ah pulled her to the house or somewhere else, if ah took my eye off her for a split second she was gone at a moments notice, and back on that hilltop.
Just staring across the horizon. Ah soon gave up with the idea of trying to force her; Ah don’t think ah could ever figure out what was going through her head.
At least, ah thought ah wouldn’t.
One rough day ah had at the farm after dealing with some terrible cargo and a few swindlers trying to make a profit off our apples, ah sat next to her and began running my mouth off. Ah don't know why but I just needed to vent, ah was angry at those ponies, ah was angry at myself for almost being tricked, and ah just needed to release.
So there ah was, talking about my problems to someone who just stared off into the horizon, flailing my hooves as if ah was going for a dramatic affect. But you know what, it felt good. Ah could never vent my feelings like this to mah family; ah never wanted them to worry about the farm or mah problems.
But with her, it felt really nice. After ah finished venting she didn’t say anything of course, but it felt like she did listen, and that was good enough for me.
It became a daily thing for me, after working ah would go up to that hilltop and talk about mah day, even if it was just about work or my friends, she always seemed to listen, but never talking or judging me.
And ah liked that.
Ah don’t know if what ah believed was true or not, maybe she wasn’t really listening. Maybe I was just making a fool of myself. But that didn’t really bother me.
Now ah just didn’t leave the poor girl starving if you were wondering. Every day ah would leave a small basket of apples and a couple of water bottles. Every now and then ah would make a pie or a sandwich, but ah would only see a few bites in those, while the apples she would only leave the stem and seeds left.
Rarity of course, being 'generous' and all, took up the challenge of making her some clothes. Now at first they were all fancy clothes for events like the Gala and such, but none of those were really comfortable from what ah noticed for just sitting and relaxing. So ah 'convinced' her to make some average n' loose style clothes for her. Boy that day there was a lot of shouting about looking your best and so on.
Ah'm not saying she didn’t look good in those dresses, even made my cheeks redder then the juiciest of apples. But ah knew she wasn’t comfortable sitting on that hilltop wearing those.
So when ah go to grab of what's left of the food ah brought her earlier, ah bring her a pair of clean clothes, two towels, and some soap. She'll usually wash herself at the nearby river on our farm, don’t know why she doesn’t use the shower, maybe they don’t have them wherever she's from. At least since the river is on our land ah don’t have to worry about peepers spying on her.
Ah remember one night Applebloom and her friends came rushing into the house as if they saw a ghost. And the three soon started shouting all at once, in full panic. Ah couldn't understand much of it but ah was able to make out three key words from their shouting.
Girl. River. Scratches.
Mah heart sank as ah quickly rushed passed them and out the house, heading towards the river. Mah mind was racing with a million thoughts. Ah was 'fraid that a timberwolve or some everfree forest creature attacked her while she was bathing.
As soon as ah reached the river, ah was quickly relieved to see her just washing herself. But that soon changed when ah finally saw her bare back. The scratches that Applebloom and the others were talking 'bout were the scars this girl had. They covered her entire back, from her neck all the down to where her tail would be if she had one. And these looked much older then just the ones she got when she arrived. And from what ah saw when she moved that she couldn't reach much of it. Ah realized...
Somepony hurt her.
It broke mah heart.
Ah didn't know how long ah stood there. But hot tears began rolling down mah eyes. Mah hooves were burning, ah wanted to hit something, or somepony. Ah wanted whoever did this to her to pay. Ah wanted every last one who might have hurt her, all of them de-
Ah soon felt something wrap against my neck, gently stroking my back.
Mah thoughts immediately stopped. She was trying to calm me down. She must've turned around and saw me, and realized how angry ah was becomin'. Ah don't know where those dark thoughts came from, and that scared me. But as quickly as they came, they quickly vanished because of this girl.
Ah soon wrapped my fore hooves around her and cried into her shoulder, not wanting to let go out of fear she'll disappear.
After that night, ah was haunted with nightmares. They were always blurry and dark. But ah would see a shadow standing above me, standing just like her. This one bigger than her though, and the creature stood there, with something that looked similar to a whip. After what felt like a eon the creature would raise it's arm, and bring down the whip.
Ah felt no pain, but ah could hear the screams. The screams of agony, screams begging for forgiveness, screams of pleading for the pain to stop. Only for more pain to be brought. Ah couldn't stop it. It always ended with my view moving in a different perspective, helplessly watching as the girl was whipped over and over, unable to do anything.
Ah would wake up in cold sweat, shaking. Ah began checking outside my window, making sure she was still there. And every time ah was thankful to see her.
So after the month we would go on our usual routine, and usually after my talks about my day I would wrap her around a blanket and head off back to the farm. Mah nightmares always the same though, ah was never able to talk about them, in fear of bringing something personal up.
But today was different.
When ah turned around after reaching our home ah noticed that she was standing there, still holding the blanket ah wrapped around her. The poor thing only made eye contact to the ground, but she still seemed to follow me. Ah smiled knowing why she followed; ah opened the door for her.
Ah watched her as her movements stopped right before entering, her body was slowly shaking, but ah got behind her and gently nudged my head against her, slowly pushing her in. She didn’t seem to stop me in anyway, just accepted my gentle pushes.
Once finally in and closing and locking the door behind us, Ah slowly made my way to my room up the stairs, her following me slowly. Once in the room, Ah put my hat along with my hair bands off to the side.
Slowly getting in the bed, ah patted the other side until she finally understood and got in as well. She moved uncomfortably around, guessing she got used to sleeping in a awkward position on that hill. Letting out a little chuckle ah gently pulled her into my embrace, her head right under mah chin.
The poor girl was still slightly shaking, but soon it stopped and all ah could hear was her light breathing. Ah smiled knowing she was going to rest easy. And I knew for once too...
That the nightmares wouldn't come tonight.
"Ah'll protect you."
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Poetic. Though I do wonder where the girl went to the bathroom if she was on that hill all the time.
This was interesting and touching.
I would have liked a little more, but it also didn't really need more.
Well done
4994242
4994257 It's weird how i see you both on all the stories i like...
Very touching.
This was great. I hope there will be a sequel/continuation of this, explaining things a bit more.
L-O-V-E I-T
4994242 This man is asking the real questions.
As for the fic, I liked it a whole lot.
I cant see any mistake. But i just have to ask: Will there maybe more?
I mean, this whole Story could be a wonderful opening for a longer epic story.
Don't get me wrong, the story is totaly awesome. But I see there potential for a few more chapters.
is this going to be continued? i would love to see this continued!
If it wasn't two in the morning and I was just about to go to bed, I would read this. I guess that means I'll just FAVORITE it for now and read it next time I get the chance.
OMG This was so sad and I loved it!
I didn't even understand it, but that doesn't matter.
Please continue.
I understand that it's a Human in Equestria fic, and I do indeed want to know more about this girl's circumstances, how she came to be here, where she's coming from. But... at the same time, I don't want that. Providing any further information would ruin the mystique of this tale. It has to remain obscure like this for it to keep its full impact.
Well done.
I don't normally like or read human in equestria stories, but that was really well done.
4995693 I am going to agree with her on this. For the reason why I liked this one because it was different from the majority of other HiE fictions. The human is not in Equestria of her own volition (that I can tell,) she does not make instant friends with the mane six, she does not turn out to be the savior of Equestria and, thus far, not show the Mary-Sue properties many other HiE fictions have.
To that, I say very well done sir/ma'am. It does the soul good to see this sort of story. Keep up the great work.
You should consider making a sequel to this it's really good but has some unanswered questions but still an enjoyable read.
MUST READ MORE!!!!!
this was amazing
Great job.
This was so beautiful.
There really isn't enough stories like this on this site.
Would so love seeing an expanded version of this, but this was short and sweet and I loved it.
4994242
http://youtu.be/LSbx2u6U3rA?t=15s
4994594 4994958 4995000 4995193 4995903 4996333
As of this time there isn't going to be one. Mainly due to having a bunch of other unfinished stories that I wish to finish/edit before starting a new one. I might come back and make a sequel but it's still in the air.~
4994326 4994729 4994880 4995581 4995693 4995797 4996170 4996188
Thank you all so much!~
4996590 That's alright. The Story itself is, as I stated before, already awesome. But the reader within me wants to read more about how she is adapting to her new life on the farm and in pony society.
4996598 You're super duper welcome!
4996590 That's understandable I'm in the same boat with my fics hopefully you'll comeback to it someday.
This is beautiful.
I mean wow
I just read your story and I quite enjoyed it. The tone was sweet and sad, but still left me with a warm fuzziness at the end. It reminded me of MLD in a way, but yours seems more believable.
I also think this story deserves a continuation. Those 1,858 words weren't enough!
But the story still works great as a one shot and I'm happy to have witnessed it.
I like the story.
I noticed you didn't describe her very much, and given the whipping scars, my headcanon is saying "Escaped African slave pre-civil war".
I could be wrong of course.
While I felt the story had potential, it was far too short for its content. If the story is based off the emotional connections between Applejack and the human, we should know a hell of a lot about them at the end. I don't know anything about the human, and barely anything about Applejack.
In addition, the whole "abuse" thing wasn't very powerful. There was nothing to indicate that this could have been a possibility before it was revealed, so it seemed like it just came out of nowhere. Also, a whip, really? Who uses a whip anymore (unless it's for fun)? A fist, a boot, a stick, a bottle--these are all tools of abuse that would have given off less of an uncanny valley feeling.
While it has some problems, mostly from the fact that it tried to tell too much of a story in too few words, it wasn't bad enough to hate or to downvote or anything. I thought it was fair and had potential.
This could use some touching up, primarily with sentence structure and comma placement. Also, I'm going to advice heavily against using "ah" or "mah" instead of the actual words - accents aren't about spelling, only pronunciation and phrase usage. Only the latter should be visible in text.
I kinda like the idea, though I agree with most of the stuff 4997731 said; it didn't get the necessary exposition. I don't see a problem with the usage of a whip, though, besides the already established lack of back-story. I could see it working, either through timey wimey or other fancy stuff.
I do believe the story has potential - it just needs some love and care.
4997731
Yea i get what your saying. Originally it was suppose to be completely different halfway through and much darker. But due to losing interest when I first wrote this story I kinda forgot how I wanted to reach that ending. So I changed it but kept it short so it would stay open if I ever wanted to come back to this. Thanks for the critique though, I'll keep some of the stuff in mind the next time I write.
4997902
So I changed all the I's to Ah's and My's to Mah's. I'll keep what you said in mind for next time. Thanks!
Yeah at first I just wrote it normally, but then felt like since it was Applejack that maybe people expected her accent.
a needle of poison in my feels
i wish for a sequel please
I love that cover art
Sequel, please
Will there be a sequel to this? Maybe one where their bond/relationship continues?
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That was awesome. Reminds me somewhat of "A voice among the Strangers" but with a different touch.
I love it. Really wish there was more to this.
Liked and added to favorites.
Ill be checking out your other works.
4998475
Yes please.
Oh geez. I've always hated HiE. And then I saw this among the featured stories. And for some reason, I felt that I needed to read it. And it was GOOD!
Sir, you don't need to sequel this. It's well done, self-contained, and I'm just fine with not knowing what happens next.
I love it when HIE fics are actually original. This is pretty well-written, the story's surprisingly original too. Great job!
very nicely done
this does not need a sequel
I'd love to see a sequel. At least a short one(like, 5 chapters).
I enjoyed this story a lot more a lot more than I thought I would when I first clicked on it, well done.
THis is a really good story, extremely good in fact. Not giving too much away about the girls past besides perhaps being beaten. It really tugs on the heartstrings to. I'm conflicted if i should ask for a sequel, since this seems like such a simple little thing, and sometimes, simplicity is bliss. Though this should not discourage you in anyway if you do decide to write a sequel since ill read that anyway, for the most likely better , and the nonexistent chance of worse.
10/10
Jolly good.
just beautiful
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I'm crying ... sorry
9/10 I loved it