The Incredibly Boring and Uninteresting Adventures of Maud Pie and Boulder

by Jet Kusanagi

The Discovery

Author's Note:

This is the chapter that I was dying to write.

See if you can spot the Avatar: The Last Airbender reference :)

It was getting late when Boulder woke me up from my nap. I turned over to see him lying on the nightstand where I had left him. “What is it?” I asked him. He was usually a hard sleeper. On most nights he slept like a...very tired pony.

There was a noise outside of my window, which must have been what woke Boulder up. I got up from my bed and looked outside of it. The moon was rising into the sky by this point, casting a faint glow over Appleloosa. The noises were coming from the far left. Whoever was making the noise was not the most subtle of ponies. It seemed like it was coming from...the sheriff's office.

If there was any doubt in my mind that something strange was going on in this town, those doubts were gone.

I put on another frock and placed Boulder into my pocket. I figured that I would need his help.

The bar was empty at this time of night, so I was able to leave without anyone noticing. I made my way quietly over to the Sheriff's Office. I could not tell who was inside, so I stood outside of the building on the left side. I pressed my ear to the wall. There was a definite racket coming from inside. It sounded like...someone moving rocks around. I recognized that noise.

Suddenly, the noise stopped. I heard someone walking up stairs and closing a door. I stood perfectly still as the front door opened. I realized that at an early age I had a talent for not being noticed if I did not move. Sure enough, the pony looked right in my direction and looked as if he did not notice me. He turned his head and walked away in the direction of the orchard. However, I noticed him.

It was Sheriff Grimes.

I waited for a few minutes before moving. I twisted the knob on the door, but it was locked. I sighed and braced my two front hooves on the door. I pushed the door inward and knocked it down to the floor, right off the hinges. The door hit the floor with a CRACK! I pushed the door aside and started to look around on the floor. I pressed down on the floorboards, looking for one in particular. Eventually, I found one that creaked a little which was the same one that I had tripped over the previous day. I lifted it up from the floor, causing it to make a loud, groaning noise. Below it was a panel with a string coming out of it. When I pulled on the string, a square section of the floor came up, revealing a small staircase.

I looked down into the cellar below. It smelled muddy and dank. Along with that was the iron and sulfurous scent from the mine.

Now I knew exactly what was going on.

I walked down the staircase into a small, dark tunnel. It felt damp and muddy. As much as I would have enjoyed just standing there, I had a job to do.

I kept walking forward until I came to a door. I twisted the knob, finding out that it was locked as well. I hated doing this, but I had to find out what was going on here for sure. I knocked down the door just as I had before to the other one and walked inside.

What I found was a mountain of those elusive yellow rocks. The room was filled with them. Stacks and stacks crowded almost the entire room. I picked one up and sniffed it. It was just as I feared.

And then, before I could react, I felt something hard and metallic hit me in the back of the neck. Then, everything went black.

*

My head was spinning when I woke up. My vision was a little blurry, but I could tell that I was upright against a wall. My legs were all shackled to the wall with some kind of stone bracers. I looked around, seeing that I was still in the room that I had found.

“You just had to go snooping around, didn't you?”

The voice belonged to Grimes, who emerged from the shadows. He had a bent crowbar in his mouth. “You certainly have quite the thick skull,” he commented, tossing the crowbar aside. “In more ways than one.”

I looked at him but did not respond. He continued after a few seconds of silence. “I bet you already have it figured out.”

He waited for me to respond again. When I did not, he looked a little annoyed. He kept talking anyway. He gestured to the mountain of rocks. “This is the key to my future,” he said with a triumphant smile. “All those gullible fools thought that they were mining gold for themselves, when in reality they were doing so for me!” He chuckled. “The true brilliance is that not only do I have all of the gold, but I also have their money!”

“Money?” I asked.

Grimes raised an eyebrow. “Oh that's right. I was planning on waiving the fee for you, so you must not have heard. I charged a fee to get to the mine. That's right: they paid me to work for me!” He seemed to find this greatly amusing. He laughed for a couple of seconds before wiping away a tear. “I almost can't believe how brilliant I am.”

“So you were the one behind the gold disappearances?” I asked. Gold had been vanishing from Appleloosa for many years. I did not think that Grimes looked that old, but anything was possible.

Grimes shook his head, looking introspective. “Oh no. In fact, one day I found this room full of gold. It's what gave me the idea to do this when the motherlode was found. What fool would just leave behind all of this gold?”

What fool, indeed. A smirk almost broke across my face. Almost.

He walked closer to me, a certain look in his eyes. “Now the question remains: what do I do with you? I admit that I did fall for you, but I can't have you ruining my plans. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to get rid of you.”

“I am sorry,” I said. I pulled at the braces around my hind legs. I broke them with ease. Once I did, I flipped myself upward so that I was now on my stomach against the wall. “But that will not be happening.” I pulled against the braces on my front legs, shattering the stone. I fell to the ground on all fours.

Grimes eyes widened with surprise. “What!? How did you-” He growled and shook his head, trying to regain his composure. “No matter. I can finish you one way or another!” He picked up the crowbar and swung it at my head. The metal snapped in half, sending the broken part careening across the room. Grimes stared wide-eyed at the part still in his hooves. He dropped it and started backing away. “What the hay...!?”

I walked closer to him, not saying a word. He stopped backtracking and went in to punch me with his bare hooves. He came in with a wild right hook that connected directly with my jaw. I felt the bones in his right leg shatter. He collapsed to the ground, screaming in pain. “What in Celestia's name are you!?” Grimes screamed. “Are you made of rock or something!?”

“Something like that,” I answered.

He looked up at me with a mixture of confusion and pain. “But how!? My cousin punches you all the time!”

“When he does it, I move with his punches so that it does not hurt him,” I explained. “I do that because I like him.” I leaned down so that I was inches away from his face. “I do not like you.”

I swung with a punch of my own, hitting him squarely in the jaw. He went straight up into the ceiling, hitting it with a sickening crunch. “We do not need anymore ponies like you in Equestria,” I said, more to myself than to him.

Comments

[HyperBlossom7]

Does the reference have to do with earthbending or metalbending?

[Albi]

Wait.. did she just... is he....

Well, damn...

[Jet Kusanagi]

4174197 Not exactly; that would be way too easy.

It's actually a reference to Azula, specifically from the Day of Black Sun.

[Jet Kusanagi]

4174221 I know right??

[HyperBlossom7]

Well im still not sure. It's been ages since I saw that anyway. Idk what it is

[hanatoro]

There's nothing but pyrite down them mines, ain't there?

[Jet Kusanagi]

4174651 I can neither confirm no deny that.

[statoose]

Dayum. That's all that really needs be said about that.

He was usually a hard sleeper. On most nights he slept like a...very tired pony.

Ha!

Grimes stared wide-eyed at the part still in his hand.

Hands? What are 'hands'?

[Mr Ghostman]

GO MAUD GO!

[Jet Kusanagi]

4176584

SHIEET

[Jet Kusanagi]

4177315 It's going to get even better, trust me

[MrE]

As the old saying goes "Mess with the bull, you get punched in the face and fly straight through the ceiling resulting in severe head trauma"...
or so i've heard.

[Jet Kusanagi]

4181671 Nah, that's how I heard it too

[Alondro]

The crowbar shattered upon Maud's head.

"WHAT ARE YOU?!" Grimes shrieked.

Maud hauled him close and harshly whispered, "I'm Batmare."

(That's how it could have happened, but how about this?)

The crowbar zanpakto shattered upon Maud's head.

"Are you made of rock?" Grimes gasped.

"Foolish Shinipony," Maud droned in a very 'hollow' tone. "Your feeble crowbar cannot pierce my hierro." She held out a hoof and a ball of dark energy formed at the tip. "Cero Horsecuras." And Grimes asploded.

[Fareseed]

4177554
Well, an easy fix later.

[Walabio]

¡Maud is nearly indestructible and has megastrength!

[SIGAWESOME]

I think Maud had an emotion.

If this continues on, she should get checked over by her therapist. These emotional outbursts cannot be healthy. (Just ask Grimes!)

[Boulder]

I love my little Earthbender.