• Published 16th Mar 2014
  • 2,998 Views, 113 Comments

The Incredibly Boring and Uninteresting Adventures of Maud Pie and Boulder - Jet Kusanagi



Follow Maud Pie and Boulder as they uncover the mystery of Appleloosa's Gold Rush.

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The Town

“We have arrived at Appleloosa!” the conductor announced. “Please make sure that you have all of your belongings with you before exiting the train. As always, have a wonderful day!”

I gathered my saddlebags and placed Boulder into my pocket before getting off of the train. The sun had begun to set by the time we all arrived, casting a dim, golden light on the town. Not much had changed since the last time I traveled here. These old, country settings rarely did in my experiences. Even the people were pretty much the same.

“Welcome to AAAAAAAPALOOSA!!” The enthusiastic yellow pony known as Braeburn came galloping out to greet the new arrivals. I had met him the last time I came here, but we were just coming of age back then. His enthusiasm had not wavered since then.

He was addressing the entire group that had gotten off of the train. “How're all y'all doin'!?”

No one responded, including myself.

That did little to dampen his spirits. “Great!” he exclaimed. “I bet all y'all are here for the motherlode, right?”

A few of them nodded in agreement. I was surprised that so few of them did, but I guess I should not have been. Braeburn's enthusiasm made a lot of ponies want to not speak in the hopes that he would be quiet.

It did not work, though. In fact, Braeburn got even more chipper. “Well that is just too bad! Site's closed for the evenin' by order of Sheriff Grimes! The site's in the orchard which is a lil' ways away from town. It's too dangerous to be that far away from town when it starts gittin' dark.” He stopped and looked around to make sure that no one except the crowd in front of him was around to hear. He leaned in and started whispering. “We have ourselves a lil' timberwolf problem in these parts. They like to hang out in the orchard at night.”

The crowd dispersed at this news, looking disappointed. Once everyone was out of the way, Braeburn locked eyes with me.

Oh no.

He galloped over to me and put me in an uncomfortable headlock and started roughing up my mane as if I were a child. “Well, if ain't Stone Cold Maudy!” he greeted with unbridled joy. He released me from the headlock. “What brings ya ta-" He reared up on his hind legs. "AAAAAAAPALOOOSA?”

I shook my head vigorously to straighten my mane back out. “Rocks,” I answered.

Braeburn punched himself in the head. “Well, of course! Silly me, ah almost forgot who I was talkin' to! I shoulda guessed you would come for the rush, too!” He grabbed me by the hoof and started pulling me.

I raised an eyebrow. “What now?”

“I want you to meet the sheriff!” Braeburn announced, dragging me along. “Well...he ain't exactly the sheriff - he's just the 'actin' sheriff' while Silverstar's away on business, but he is a cousin 'uh mine!”

I did not feel like meeting any new ponies, but seeing as how I was being dragged along a dirt road on my chin, I did not have much of a choice.

We burst into a small office-like building with a bunch of posters on the wall. Braeburn dropped me on the ground unceremoniously. I was covered in sand. Even though I liked the feeling of it, I did not enjoy being dragged and dropped. There was a light green Earth pony standing behind the desk shuffling some papers around. He was wearing a cowboy hat like most of the people in this town and had a blonde mane. Come to think of it, Applejack was also blonde and so is Braeburn. I guess was an Apple Family trait.

“Evenin' cuz!” Braeburn greeted with a wave.

“Braeburn, I told you it's sheriff in public,” he warned. He looked up. When he did, I noticed that he had some curious discolouration on the right side of his face. Where his normal skin tone was closer to light green, the discolouration was reddish. He smiled at me. He removed his hat and came out from behind the desk and took my hoof in his. “My my...who is this lovely little thing?”

“I am-” I started to say.

“This here's Maud Pie!” Braeburn interrupted. “She's a good friend 'ah mine from a while back!”

“No, we are-”

“Well, isn't that nice,” the sheriff interrupted. He kissed my hoof. “My name's Sheriff Grimes, but you may call me Grimey if you please. What brings you to our lovely town?”

I took my hoof away. “I'm here-”

“She's here for the gold!” Braeburn answered for me. “Stone Cold Maudy here's a rock enthusiast!”

“A geologist, eh?” Grimes responded. He did not look like he believed me or Braeburn. “A pretty little thing like you?” He chuckled. “Sorry about this, but the site's closed for the night. It'll be open again tomorrow though, so you can come around then. For now, how about we put you up in a room at the inn 'til then?”

I looked at Braeburn. He did not look like he was going to interrupt me again. “Okay,” I answered.

“Great,” Grimes said, going back behind the desk. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to me. It was a voucher with his signature on it. “Take that to the inn. It'll get you a free room.” He brushed his mane in a cocky fashion. “One of the perks of being the sheriff.”

I placed the voucher in my saddlebag. “Thanks.”

“Don't mention it, Miss Maud,” Grimes said, chuckling. “Braeburn, why don't you escort our new guest to the inn?”

“That won't be-”

“Of course!” Braeburn cut me off. He pulled me next to him. “Let's go, Stone Cold! The inn ain't that far away! See ya later, c - er, Sheriff!”

Grimes waved but then threw a wink at me. “See ya tomorrow, Miss Maud!”

Distracted, I did not notice the loose floorboard in my path. I tripped suddenly, but quickly regained my balance.

“Whoops!” Braeburn tried to keep me steady as we exited. “Careful there! I thought we fixed that danged thing, but I guess it didn't take.” He led me back outside towards the inn. I could see it from this distance, seeing as how Appleloosa was not that large of a town.

We walked for a few meters before Braeburn nudged me. “Soo...?”

“What?” I asked. I was disappointed that the silence had ended.

“Whaddaya think?”

“About what?”

Braeburn laughed and knocked me into the ground with a smack. “My cousin, silly! He's taken quite a fancy to ya'!”

“Really?” I honestly had not noticed.

“So...?” Braeburn asked again. “Whaddaya think a' him?”

“I do not have any opinion about him,” I answered. "I just met him."

Braeburn waited for me to say something else for quite a while. We reached the Inn before he said anything else. He punched me in the shoulder again. “You're such a cut up, Stone Cold! Haha!” He sighed. “Well, here's the Inn! It also has a bar, if you're interested. See ya!”

I waited for him to walk away before heaving a deep sigh. That pony was nearly as hyperactive as my sister. I love her, but I only have room in my life for one Pinkie Pie.

I entered the Inn to find quite the rowdy scene. Everypony there was drinking like there was no tomorrow. Ponies were talking loudly, laughing and playing card games. It was a typical bar scene.

I approached the counter where the bar keep was cleaning a glass. He was a unicorn with a bronze coloured mane. His coat was light gray and he was wearing a vest. Up until now, I did not think anyone but Earth ponies lived in Appleloosa.

He noticed me and smiled. His accent suggested that he was not from here. “'Ello there, mate! What can I get for ya?”

I took out the voucher and placed it on the counter. The barkeeper brightened up. “Oh, a friend of the sheriff, eh? Well, you can stay as long as ya like, lil' sheila!” He took the voucher and placed it behind the counter. He came back up with a key that had a number “4” on it. “Your room'll be upstairs, second on the right!”

I took the key and placed it in my bag. “Thanks.”

He started cleaning the glass again. “Can I get anythin' else for ya?”

“Water, please,” I answered.

“Water?” the barkeeper repeated.

“With a rock,” I added.

He looked confused now. “A rock? Ya mean, ice right?”

I shook my head. “Feldspar would be nice. Though granite would also work if you don't have that.”

“Uhhh...”

“And a hayburger as well.”

“Ummm...is that all?” the barkeeper asked.

I removed Boulder from my pocket to ask him. “Is that it?” I asked him. I waited for a bit for him to answer. I looked back at the barkeeper and nodded. “Yes, that will be all.”

The barkeeper raised an eyebrow but went about preparing my order. He came back to the counter with a tray that had a glass of water, a hayburger and a piece of quartz. He scratched the back of his head. “I...uh...didn't have any feldspar or granite back here. I found this, though.”

I shrugged and dropped the rock into the water. “This will be okay. Thank you.” I dropped three bits on the counter. “Will this cover it?”

“Umm...sure,” the barkeeper stammered, taking the bits. “Enjoy your meal.”

I took the tray and went to find an empty table. I was still within earshot when I heard the barkeeper whisper, “She's got a few 'roos loose...”

I found an empty table and sat down. I took Boulder out and placed him next to the hayburger so that he could have a bite. I started munching on the quartz. It was a little salty, but it complemented the water.

A large, muscular Earth pony walked by my table and bumped into it, knocking my glass of water over. He turned back to me with a vicious expression. At least, I think it was meant to be vicious; it was hard to tell when it was dampened with alcohol.

“Hey!” he yelled. His words were even more slurred. “Wash wer yer goin, missy!”

I was still chewing my rock as I looked up at him. I did not say anything.

That made him even angrier. He got right in my face, allowing me to get a whiff of all the cider he had been drinking. “You gots sumthin' ta say fer yershelf!?”

I finished chewing and swallowed the rock. “No,” I answered. I did not feel like dealing with him, so I picked up Boulder and placed him in my pocket. He would have to eat later. I got up and started walking towards the stairs.

“Hey!” the drunk pony yelled out, grabbing me by the shoulder. “I ain't finished wif you yet!” He lifted his hoof, pulling it back to punch me.

I sighed and grabbed him by the hoof. I stopped it from moving completely. The drunkard looked confused. “What the-” I took a more firm grip on his hoof and flipped him over my body and into the table, breaking it into pieces. He just lied there, groaning in pain.

All the chatter in the room stopped. Everyone, including the barkeeper, was staring at me. I looked up. “What?”

Then, someone in the room started cheering. After that, everyone joined in. Pretty soon the entire room was filled with loud cheering and applause. The barkeeper came out from behind the counter. “That was bloody amazin', lil' sheila!” he yelled.

I shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Where'd you get strength like that!?” he asked.

I looked up at him. “It is a Pie thing. You would not understand.”