In a freak accident from the Cloudsdale weather control team, Twilight is struck down by an errant lightning bolt. But the veil of death is relatively thin...
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 23rd Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 25th, 2021
Konseiga
Just an aspiring writer. Not really anything special.
Konseiga
Joined 23rd Feb, 2012 ·
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that image is the kind of thing i would like to avoid in the hours before i have to go to sleep. in that case, i'm off! (gone)
Jeeze, scared the crap out of me with that image.
Well, the story shouldn't be as bad as the....
OHGODWHY?!!!!!!!!
Oh crap! IloveitIloveitiLOVEITTT.<3 You are talented, my friend.
A remarkable writer, is what you are. Great job with this story, it's original, scary, and a great read! I do hope you continue stuff like this.
GAH!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Does anyone have any kerosene?
something tells me, that's not heaven. guess what, Spike gets left alone again...
Oh, lordy.
Well, look on the bright side. Clearly, death isn't all that bad.
O_O
That image... is...
...
AMAZING!!!!!
(but, honestly, creeping me out here...
)
FUCKING IMAGE!
Scared the hell out of me... 
Did anyone else notice it says never tardy on her, "eyelids," if they can be called that. I just don't know if i'm still sane or not..
Wow. That story was bucking sick!
The writing really complimented everything and set the mood
At first it seemed pretty normal, but once Luna revealed the letter I knew stuff was going down
I loved the whole story
And That Ending
great story. i love the concept, but one tiny little part to edit, at one point, it should say "hooves" instead of hands, other than that, its great :D
Wow, the image really drew me in.
This is good
372358
I ALWAYS seem to slip up and do that.
*perusing through* ah hah. Fixed.
Not usually one to like grimdark, but I sincerely enjoyed this.
*claps*
Good job.
The only thing I would have changed was the last letter. It didn't sound menacing enough.
But still, great job depicting Twilight's loss of sanity.
372369
Sometimes, I find that the innocent can be the most sinister, ya know? Glad you liked it.
"Congratulations, Princess. You’re first on the list."
Well played.
Holy shit face I'm going to say this It makes me want to cry. any way this would go well to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRx_iXgLAyw&feature=autoplay&list=PL983C52159FFD9BC6&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=14
to all who read this reread it listening to that
"...Never... Tardy..."
Ah, I see what you did there. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sh*t my pants and cry myself to sleep. (And I haven't even read the story yet...)
372399
Oh, but they already made a fic for that.
I completely enjoyed this story beginning to end. The element of madness would be quite the powerful thing in mlp indeed..
All in all it was perfect
bunch pussies the lot of you, pic is badass.
oh god, were is the
in this?
this is aweful
(in a good way)
Awesome story, one of a very few complete ones I've marked to track. Makes me wish I could write stories this good.
Crap, I died. Well, I suppose the next logical step is to
KILL EVERYONE.
:P Loved it. Veeeerrrry creepy.
372485
As much as I liked the story, I'm in agreement with you, though I suspect it's more with the fact that this calls out for the need of a dedicated Horror tag more than anything else. There are differences between Dark and Horror, and this one firmly goes into the latter.
I ShAlL bE FoReVeR FAitHFuLl!!!!!
it... worries me...
i have to read it now
Holy shit. This is straight up creepy! And the ending was great, it not a little less-than-ominous.
372485
372534
Well, what's the point of any fic, really? Look at some of the great horror stories, like "It" (Stephen King) or "Odd Thomas" (which is more of an adventure than anything.) They're written purely for the enjoyment of the readers.
Isn't that the point of all fiction in general? Someone gets an idea, the develop it into a story, and people read it and enjoy it. Well, maybe they don't always enjoy it, but still.
Going back even further, what was the point of Hamlet? Or Homer's 'The Odyssey?' Sure, you can make the argument that it's a hypothetical representation of day-to-day life, but in the end, it comes down to someone fluent in the arts of language that created something for their peers to enjoy.
tl;dr The point of this is for people to enjoy it. That's the only reason any piece of artwork exists.
372603
Even more tl;dr
Art for art
Also, I kind of want to live in that world where Twilight went to.
what was i thinking?
this was horrible
i might not be able to sleep again...
372645
Oh, surely it wasn't THAT bad...
Death is like a virus... it spreads... like WIND FIRE!!!
372603
Actually, stories were mostly originally morality tales, far less to impart entertainment and more to pass on morals or history. The fun part came later.
That being said, my concern strictly lies with the fact that I didn't see this so much as Dark as much as the need for a dedicated Horror tag. Pointless violence doesn't bother me; heck, my oeuvre primarily deals in a lot of pointless violence, and with Device Heretic's recent work, I daresay a lot of that was pointless as well; it still does not detract from it.
Perhaps I should have explained myself a little better (okay, a lot better), but my point still stands: this work (and probably others on the site) need a horror tag, Thus, and finis.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to sit down and figure out which characters I'll be killing off my own work later.
No pony is safe...
No pony
372684
I wondered why there was no horror tag.
Starts out sad, gets dark, becomes creepy, then ends happy.
:V
I love this story.
damn. she's became corrupted by the power she now processes as the new grim reaper.
emphasis on grim
372689
I guess the really nasty "R"/"18"/etc. stuff theoretically gets caught by the filters. YMMV.
372708
I didn't put anything in this to make it a "Mature" rating...
oh i loved that it was very well written, interesting topic too i cant wait to read more from you
Well, there went any chance of me getting to sleep tonight.
hmmm....
i.imgur.com/uyPx3.gif
"Your Omnipotent Student,
Twilight Sparkle"
As messed up as this sounds, I chuckled at this part.
I liked the story, but it felt like there was so much lost potential with it as well. Rather than have almost nothing but a chain of letters from Twilight to Celestia telling her what happened, I would have liked to have seen some from Twilight's PoV.
Like her movements in the void before she started bringing her friends, her watching them through some sort of scrying and seeing their reactions to her passing. Then when she starts deciding to "recruit" her friends, the process of how they went to Twilight's realm, rather than just a letter saying "Hey Celestia, so-and-so is here now" followed by Luna popping up and confirming it.
372813
See, I considered that. But then there would be little left up to the imagination. By all means, you can do some from Twilight's P.O.V.
Myself? I like it just the way it is.
372376 Innocence is always the worst. Compare a little girl murdering people to a fully grown man cracking skulls with an axe. The more innocent one is significantly more sinister, as it betrays no ill intent. Without intent, there can be no warning for a victim, no remorse on behalf of the killer, and it's so much darker to see corruption of purity than just someone going nuts and killing people.
Very good story.
If you think of it, this was the best Horror story that Ive enjoyed to read, the description makes the perfect introduction; adding hellfire, ecoing voices and and a black eyes were cool, but it making Twilight the God of deadland that just whants her best friends with her at anymeans posible make it a good pre-sleeping lecture.
Ps: I liked mostly your grammar Well done