• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago


Just your average brony who enjoys writing stories.


This story is my response to reading that there would be no Babs in season 4. Apple family reunion confirmed she made some new friends and moved to a new school, and was doing better, but Applejack kept interrupting before we could get any real details. I made Babs the Orange's daughter simply for plot convenience since they both live in Manehatten and are related to Applejack/Apple Bloom, so it's not too big a stretch that they might be related.

Applejack is going on a family visit to her aunt and uncle Orange, and the CMC insist on coming along to hang out with Babs again and see what her new friends are like. Along the way they run into Babs' biggest bully at her old school. With five friends by her side can they convince her to have the courage to fight for herself and her beliefs? They intend to beat her at her own game: Soccer. But can a group of blank flanks who've hardly played the sport before really triumph? Babs and Apple Bloom each learn important lessons over the day.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 45 )

I didn't know it would be out so soon... And now I can't wate for the rest!!

When I read the bully of Manehattan I was like 'OML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Specially if Diamond Spoon thinks she's perfect like those spoiled brats, *Says with anger in voice* Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. *Says with anger in voice* When I see them bulling the CMC I want to get the T.A.R.D.I.S. and grab a Cupcakes Pinkie (Even though I REALLY don't want to read it) and Captain Cam Harkness and have him use his limit breaker. Grr... you living is a privilege you hear DT and Silvs?!? Ugg.

4079438 The story is done. I finally got past my doubts on this story and finished it up. I just didn't want to put it all out at once.

4079659 Y'know, I didn't think of that. There is no coach on the field for the game in the next chapter, but I'll make an excuse that either it's not an official practice and they're just doing it on their own, or they just got there early before the coach did. If there was a coach DS wouldn't be able to be truly nasty the way she is, just like how DT and SS wait until no one is listening to pick on the CMC.

4079478 Lol. Yeah, she certainly does get nasty in the next chapter, but DS does get her just desserts in the end, and AB get's the best "revenge" on DT and SS after they come home. I'll post the rest of the story in the morning. It's finished, but I want to whet the people's appitites and read over it one more time to make any needed corrections. Hope you enjoy the rest.

I always wonder that Babs Seed's sister Sunflower is proud of her?

I love the ending of this chapter!:eeyup::ajsmug:

4086689 Don't they say the same thing about happiness? The moment you stop chasing after it is when it comes to you. I'm glad you liked the ending.

This was my first attempt at something involving sports. Do you think I pulled it off well enough?

And now that you finished it I can tell you what stopped me from finishing it for so long. I know nothing about Brooklyn accents besides "Youse", I struggle with scenes with lots of characters, and Silver Wing and Lemon-Lime don't really have personalities besides "supportive of Babs" and besides Diamond Spoon none of her team got names or, except one time, got a speaking role.

When things bug me like that it makes it difficult to focus on writing until I can think of a way to resolve things. I really didn't resolve any of them, but I was just really inspired so it didn't matter as much when I finally finished it.

I think that happened to me with the happiness thing; my dad was nothing but a constant source of despair and hurt, phisically and mentally. I had given up hope of getting away from him till one day, my mom gathered all of his stuff, put it outside and called the cops. Now he comes around once every six months, once a year if I am lucky. Enough of that though, lets get to the ponies! :twilightsmile:

I don't know much about soccer but I think you pulled it off.

I know how you feel about things bugging you!:twilightangry2::flutterrage:
There is one idea I have for my first HiE.
I've noticed almost all of them are written from the humans pov, and never the ponies, so I wan't to write one from the pony's pov that he will interact most with, but I am drawing a complete blank on who it should be. :raritydespair:

I'm a bit disapointed that only Applebloom got her cutie mark when all six fillies worked so hard together and were using the Power of Friendship. It would have been nice to see six friendship themed cutie marks and possibly a second generation of the Elements of Harmony.

4089047 Well, I think all six of them getting their cutie marks in one day would push the limits of believability and would be seen as a cop out given how many times they failed at it in the show. You have to admit that, in my story, Applebloom was without a doubt the leader. She helped inspire Babs right after meeting Diamond Spoon, she inspired the team when they were ready to quit with a bit of tough love, came up with a few great plans to get a come from behind victory, and knew to give Babs a shot at standing up for herself before intervening. She showed great leadership qualities and had the strong desire to protect all her friends, and thus she got her cutie mark for that, not exactly for friendship though that was a part of it. I'm not saying the other four didn't work hard, but the title of the story IS "An Apple and Orange mature." And it's not like the Ponyville Cmc didn't get cool stuff, Sweetie discovered her magic, and Scootaloo scored the final goal. I could have ended it without her getting her cutie mark, but I liked the play on words with her name. Apple and Bloom.

Nice try, but this time I made sure to neuter the plot so there will no further bunnies! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy: Lol. :rainbowlaugh:

4089649 Well, you should consider some one shots showing the other CMC getting their cutie marks. Or how about a school trip to someplace where Bab's class just happens to come along so both CMC groups can band together against the bullies... though come to think of it, the bullies might not be able to stand one another. :pinkiehappy:

4093834 You know, you're doing it again, but just not in the way you want. I did get another idea but it's mostly just the next day and still focuses on Applebloom's conflicted feelings over getting a cutie mark. All of them had bonded over their lack of cutie mark, so now she's worried that her relationship with them will suffer because she's "different" now. I also want to show Bab's growth in keeping with her belief in herself.

It's not like I'm exactly opposed to any of the rest of them also getting a mark, but in terms of the story none of them did anything stand out. A mark comes about because of a mental realization. As I said in the last reply Applebloom got her's for her leadership and desire to protect and raise up her friends and family. Making an apple themed cutie mark to fit the situation was a bit difficult. So if you want to throw me some idea's for what a few of them can do or give me cutie mark idea's I can run with that.

GRRRR! Why won't you ever let me finish a story when it's finished? Gotta keep giving me idea's and stuff. =)

4098118 :trollestia::moustache: Excellent *twirls villain mustache*
Hmmm, let me see what I have in the Plot Bunny Hutch.
For Sweetie, how about she's forced to use her magic to save her friends??? But since in the show she's also been shown to be good at singing, it might be nice to tie it in to that. Like a super pitched scream to drive away Timber wolves when Scootaloo has a busted wing or something.
For Scootaloo... well you've already had her saving a foal in your other story so we can't do that again... and you already had her face down a dragon... how about she meets a younger Pegasus who is about to have surgery on their wings to fix a broken bone and is worried they'll never fly again and Scootaloo encourages them to go through with it rather than be stuck with never being able to fly???

4098589 Well, besides the whole cutie mark thing did you love the story?

My only real reluctance to do this, besides my other waiting fics, is that it feels like the title will need a change. The bonus chapters in the Scootaloo fic work because the title still fits and it takes place after the main story. Now if it includes all the CMC getting their marks the title won't exactly fit anymore. Applebloom was supposed to be the focus here, just like Scootaloo was in the other fic.

4099698 Yeah I did like the story, otherwise I wouldn't have left a comment :pinkiehappy:

Well, you could always do some epilogue chapters.

I shit you not, my eyes shot open at exactly three in the morning, and I had a strange fealing I could not get out of me. I decided to check my fimfic acount and low and behold, an update on this story!
I just had to read it before going back to bed!
Loved it, can't wate for the next chapters!:eeyup:

Awesome. I especially love Applebloom verbally putting DT in her place and the meaning behind her mark. If the Crusaders inherit their big sisters' Elements I wouldn't be surprised if Applebloom becomes the leader or second in command of the next generation of the Elements of Harmony.


Hey! It's my two best FIMfiction buddies. I'm glad you liked it because I thought it was a little too talky. I like to use a nice blend of talking, action, and narration.

To Dustin: I find your story funny. You have a physic link to my account. If there is an update to a story of mine, thou must waketh, and readith it. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

To Kenshin: Yeah, just like in Flight to the Finish, DT's taunts are falling on deaf ears now. She'll have to find someone else to pick on. :rainbowdetermined2:

Scootaloo's story is complete, and I'm going to post it soon. Scootaloo IMHO, shows a whole lot more balls in her chapter than Rainbow Dash could hope to. She puts something HUGELY important on the line for the sake of helping someone else. But I guess I'll have to wait to read it to see if you agree. That chapter is a bit more emotional so bring a few tissues. :applecry::fluttercry:

Sweetie's chapter is still in progress, but I already have the setup in mind, so it shouldn't take too much longer.

:rainbowlaugh: I must, I must, I must!

Oh man, I gotta get ready for the feels from you, cause Celestia only knows how you can make make me cry! :raritycry:

4152134 Oy, fine. I shall doth postith it now...ith. :pinkiehappy:

:rainbowderp:Not what I was expecting... I thought it would be sad like :raritycry:, but it was more of a sweet situation that made me like:pinkiesad2:.

4152281 Scootaloo keeps getting little sisters in my stories, doesn't she. :rainbowlaugh:

I didn't say it was going to be sad, only a bit emotional. It's tenderness and leading by example. "If I can do it you can do it too." Scootaloo showed some real guts right there. I don't think Rainbow Dash could have made such a promise.

I'm still working on Sweetie Belle's story. I might just finish it up tomorrow. I'm going out of state to visit my mom tomorrow for a week, but I'll have internet so I can still post the chapter when its done.

I saw you favorited my new story "Captured." Please check out my friends fanfic that inspired it. :pinkiehappy: The link is in the description of that story. Her writing style is a bit different from mine, but I enjoy it. :heart:

She does!:rainbowlaugh:

I don't think RD would be able to do that eather.
I was going to give hers a quick read after reading yours.

I still live with my mom... :twilightblush: I'm only 17 though, so it doesn't matter.

Hmmmm, my main thought is on the cutie mark and a suggestion if you have Scoots go through a similar scenario in another fic. A winged shield would have also worked for showing her willingness to protect others and keep them safe while allowing herself to soar to new heights.

That said, I love Peach Mango and we need to have all of your various Scootaloo sisters meet up somehow. The way the chapter played out was interesting and very touching. I can totally see Scoots as a Guidance Counselor for a side job on top of being a Wonderbolt or X-treme Scooter competitor.

4154184 The cutie mark has a two-fold meaning. The first is sacrifice, meaning she'd be willing to give up anything or take any pain if it meant helping others.

The second is about a common metaphor, that Scootaloo would "move moutains" to help her friends. I also wanted to include her scooter in her cutie mark, thus keeping a friendship theme while still ackowledging their in-show talents, so I like her cutie mark here. Like I say in my next chapter, her goal was in leading by example. If Scoots was willing to put so much on the line and still go through with her word despite her fear, she hoped it would inspire Peach to do the same.

I also like Peach Mango. You'll get to see her again. However, this Scootaloo can't be the same one from my other story since she's still very weak at flying.

I'm heading to Virginia tomorrow for a week to see my mom, but I have internet so I'll be able to post the last two chapters there.

4154301 Obviously they can't be the same Scoots... that's why Twilight messing up a spell lets alternate Scootaloos and their little sisters meet.:twilightsmile::scootangel:

I was crying at the last chapter. Great work!

I wish I could do that... I want to make my own theme music!!!

I am a bit envious of your writing skills, N2MP...
But now I have someone to try and surpass!

4161939 I thank you, good sir. I was surprised this turned out so well. This was another case of me thinking too much about things getting in the way. Now I can truly close the book on this one.

I have a feeling Sweetie Belle is going to be hilariously bothersome when she whips out her powers whenever she feels like it. :rainbowlaugh: Peter from Family Guy would be proud.

I was thinking the exact same thing!!!
"I will break every bone in your body!!!":pinkiecrazy:

"I wish I had no bones!!!":fluttershbad:

I like the different types of notes in Sweetie Belle's mark, very clever. I can just picture her doing charity concerts in the future, maybe with Scootaloo doing stunts as well while Applebloom sells treats.
4161893 I would drive everyone crazy with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings music.

Very good wrap up, I definitely approve of the CMC going on to help other ponies get their cutie marks. I can just picture all three at Granny Smith's age smiling as they watch the multibillion charity company they created to help foals find their callings growing and helping kids all across Equestria. :pinkiehappy::ajsmug::yay::twilightsmile::raritywink::scootangel::rainbowkiss:

4163554 My thoughts on things is that they're going to feel the same way in the show once they're done. They're going to have a "Now what?" attitude because they never thought that far. But as they said themselves the purpose of the CMC is to help ponies get their cutie marks, so why not help the youth of the nation and devote their lives to helping others feel the same joy of self-discovery?

Hey there! great work on the story. I've always wanted to see Babs Seed and her life in manehatten. Two thumbs, or two hoofs :rainbowlaugh: WAY UP! :heart:

Quite inspirational.
Thanks for a good story.

4189426 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you would please check out my other works if they pique your interest. :pinkiehappy:

4161878 Know its a bit late, but thank you for taking to time to read my work. Please take a look at my author page and see if I have any other stories that catch your interest. :pinkiesmile::twilightsheepish:

4327430 Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. If you have like two hours on your hands maybe you'll want to check out my last CMC themed story. This one is done from a the first person view of Scootaloo and the first chapter explains why she's an orphan and why she has such trouble flying. As the title says, it start from her babyhood and being a weakling to a competent flyer and scooter rider, as well as a hero to the town. I think it's my best work, but it IS over 60,000 words so you'll be there a while. :raritywink:

Wow. It is so rare that I find a story that I wish was actual cannon. Btw, I loved what you did with Sweetie Belle. If I was her, I would start researching Necromancy so that not even death would stop me from gracing/plaguing all of the lands with situationally fitting music and supplying all of my puns with drum rolls and rim shots. This is going straight to my favorites list and I am going to have be sending much of my free time looking up more of your stories.

Thank you. Glad to hear it. A friend of mine lamented that the story ended without Sweetie and Scoots getting theirs, so I did some extra chapters for him.

And it depends on what you're looking for. If you want cuteness go with "How a Pie became a Cake" and "Pinkie's first friend" both of which have filly Pinkie first coming to live with the Cakes, then befriending Fluttershy. "You are normal too" is a Derpy-Doctor ship fic. "Deal with the Draconeques" has Sweetie Belle bargaining with a newly reformed Discord to save a deathly ill Rarity. "Pound and Pumpkin Tales" is a slice of life story about the six year old twins growing up. "The return of Sunset Shimmer" has Sunset coming back through the portal to apologize, but getting corrupted when she stumbles across the Alicorn Amulet."

And there's my very first story, which is another slice of life about Scootaloo growing up.

There's a bunch of stories, but I feel those are my best.

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