• Member Since 16th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 13th, 2016

Dead_Account_0


E

(Attention: Permanently Cancelled.)
*Warning this story and description contains massive Mass Effect 3 spoilers. Stop reading here if you care about that kind of thing.* For the record this is Male Paragon Shepard who uses Engineer as a class.

What if Specialist Traynor didn't pick up Kai Leng's signal as he left Thessia? Commander Shepard and the Normandy are scouring the Horsehead Nebulae for any trace of Cerberus. In an off limits system there is a strange planet that doesn't exist on Council records, but it appears to be emitting an unusual signal. Shepard brings the Normandy in to investigate.

Meanwhile, Celestia is trying to adapt to Luna's return. The younger sibling always had some radical ideas about how to manage the kingdom, and Celestia is finding it hard to hold her ground against Luna.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 52 )

My god... A good written ME3 story?

Well played good sir, Well played indeed.

*tracked*

374304 Thank you. I almost didn't post this. Now I'm glad I reconsidered.

374340
You are quite welcome kind sir.

I am very glad you considered posting this. It is excellently written and I hope to see future installments of it.

Oh, now this looks promising.

It is well-written, the connection between the two fictions makes sense (if I am interpreting all of the Princesses' statements correctly), and it fits neatly into the continuity of Mass Effect 3 with only minor changes to the plot. You also appear to be quite knowledgeable about not only the plot of the Mass Effect 3 (as would be expected), but also the characters and even the background mechanics of the Mass Effect universe (someone clearly read their codex). Yes, I have seen authors in the Mass Effect fandom that lack a basic understanding of key elements of the Mass Effect universe (and not just fanfic authors, either. *cough*Dietz*cough*). Clearly this is not the case for you, and your story is that much better for it. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Ehm... I don't suppose that you might be able to use this convergence of the two fictions to alter the ending of Mass Effect 3 just a bit? I assume this will happen anyway due to the likely dramatic changes that will occur as a result of contact between the two groups, but... Well, you know... I just HAD to make the mandatory complaint about ME3's ending.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll do an excellent job, judging by the quality of your writing so far. Please keep up the good work.

Tracking.

375453 Thanks. I've read every codex entry at least once in-game, but while writing this I still had to check the Wiki around five times. I'm still working on how the hell the characters are meant to react to each other. The whole idea for this story was based around the idea that if alicorns were immortal, then perhaps they could be remnants of an old cycle. I latched onto the idea that the Yagh were passed over for being a pre-flight species, so perhaps these surviving alicorns created a species in their image, but limited them so they would never be eliminated by the cycle. Of course this would mean they would have to be kept away from other species in case of them being uplifted. Anyway, the point was the canon could fit together, so I decided to illustrate that.

Yes, we're all aware that ME3 had a bad ending, but I'm not sure. The idea behind calling it "Priority: Equestria" was that it would play out like a mission from the game. Shepard would jump through a few hoops to gain the support of another species. Perhaps the ponies could affect the ending, but I'm not entirely sure about that. Celestia and Luna are powerful, but they have limits. I don't think they could best a reaper.

Understandable. I actually like that you are not making the princesses absurdly powerful, it would be a rather silly curb-stomp battle otherwise. Full-blown sun goddess versus an armada of reapers... Amusing, but not particularly interesting or exciting.

I suppose my real concern about the ending is the non-existence of any form of epilogue in the original game, as well as the fact that our actions had no real effect on endgame events besides contributing to the "War Readiness" meter. All that is effectively a moot point in this case, I suppose, for you can focus on and flesh out any of the consequences of Shepard's actions, as well as provide your own (hopefully satisfying) epilogue to it all.

So, in the end, all of my concerns are rather baseless at this point. I suppose I will just have to sit back and see what happens.

Oh, Hello track button! *Press*

An immortal versus the most persuasive and iron-willed man ever born. I like where this is gooing.:moustache:

Just a heads-up that I made a very minor change to chapter one. Luna is now making first-contact, not Celestia. There is a reason beyond this that will hopefully become apparent as we go along. :twilightsmile:
As always, thank you for reading and, hopefully, commenting. :pinkiehappy:

Very nice. I always like it when authors actually explore first contact rather than brushing over it in five minutes or less. I will say that it feels like Shepard is going along with this far too easily, since presumably he's put his crew, ship and own life in the hands (or hooves, in this case) of some people he hasn't known for more than half an hour. Though I suppose desperation may play a big part of that at this point, since he's got no leads for finding Cerberus. Regardless, this is easily my favorite ME crossover at this point. :pinkiehappy:

I would like to plead with you to avoid the completely retarded canon ending of ME. Not asking for the ponies to magically make everything turn out perfectly or even for a happy ending, just none of that starchild/destroyed relays bull that Bioware threw at us in the last five minutes of the game. Maybe change the Crucible into an actual super weapon or something; anything at all would be an improvement.

Lastly has Shepard woke up Javik yet? I'm curious about how he'd react to someone else from his cycle still being around.

A wild Luna appeared! Shepard used Omniblade! But it failed...
Anyway, nicely done so far. You aren't the only one who enjoys the engineer class! No other class can chuck fireballs or summon minions, am I right?

I really like this story, but there is something I find odd about it. It's the Princesses. Oh, I like how you do them. You give them good strong personalities, but, in mind, they seem switched up. I mean.
*Celestia* I am a kind and peaceful ruler, who only wants to make sure that the races are in perfect harmony....*sees ship* BLOW THAT THE BUCK UP!:flutterrage:
*Luna* I grew jealous of my sister and decided to war against her ideals, for only I could pass judgement....*sees ship* Let's make peace.

Eh, that's just a personal nitpic. Otherwise, keep up the good work.

411708 I see what you mean in that regard, but remember that the winners write the history books. The idea I'm going for is that Luna is s bit radical, she wants to see a rebuilt Alicornian empire; one that rivals the original. To do that, technology needs to progress and that requires a catalyst. The humans are that catalyst. Celestia however, wants to maintain the status quo. She knows that unrestricted technology is a recipe for disaster; a calling card for the reapers. So she maintains a vice-grip on technological progress, doling it out in small portions when needed. This also explains the hodgepodge that is Equestrian technology: Thatched roof houses and stone castles along with hydroelectric dams and construction vehicles. In my mind it works. :twilightsmile:

409965 Hay yes! As if Overload and Incinerate weren't enough, engineers get a goddamn turret to tear through enemies like they're paper! :ajsmug: Then of course there's the trusty drone stopping the foals from reaching cover! Engineers are the bomb. :pinkiecrazy:

409823 Thank you. I see what you mean, but Shepard's done the same thing before. When he awoke in that Cerberus base in ME2, he was pretty quick to trust Jacob and Miranda. Paragon Shepard's also let quite a few people off: Fist, Rana Thanoptis, Harkin, the list goes on. I imagine he is just a brilliant judge of character. The only person you can let go who stabs you in the back, as far as I can tell, is Rana and that's due to indoctrination. First contact is pretty important, but these alicorns are not quite as they seem. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Yeah, I was thinking of having this as a separate mission, hence the title. I may include an epilogue in which the ponies effect on the ending is summarised. I will try and write a more satisfying ending for this mission, ending the entire game is Bioware's job. :scootangel:

I did mention at the start that I'm not sure about Javik. Yes, he would have quite an effect on the story, especially the alicornians, but I haven't played the DLC. All I know about him is from the wiki and youtube clips. I could try and write him in, but I doubt I could pull him off. I think it would be best to ignore him, rather than not do him justice.

I gotta say, while reading this, I was really, really impressed. I've avoided every Mass-Effect crossover (sans one with The Illusive Man as the main villain, but that one's dead) Not only did you manage to get the ME feel down correctly, or at least vastly better than anyone else I've ever seen, but you got the character interactions and the crossover-likeness of the story down pat. I actually felt like I was, say, watching a Let's Play of the game, with myself in Shepard's shoes. And when it comes to video-game crossovers, I find that it's vitally important that the story is somewhat like the game, and you've somehow managed to do that, bravo.

That being said, one of the major things that makes me want to just exit the fic is that Celestia and Luna seem absolutely OOC, Celestia more so. I can understand that with Celestia, you're wanting ti make it feel a bit more like she's a logical character, but I think you really botched it. I know you want it to where they're the last Alicornians left (I prefer just Alicorns, though) and all that jazz, but she's still shown to be a benevolent leader, not somepony that would shoot down an unknown ship. Just a personal tick, I guess. Luna was a bit less OOC, but w/e.

Keep up the good work, mate.

412688 So you're saying that I got the ME parts brilliant, but the pony parts a bit conflicted? Hmm, once I've finished with the next chapter, I'll see if I can rejigger the dialogue.

ASDAF
MORE

458788 Such timing. You wanted more, well chapter 3 has just been uploaded.

His sister huh... poor bastard.

I get the impression that considering all they've been through, Celes' tech ain't gonna impress them as much as she hopes.

Would usually post assumptions, but really don't know what to expect.

I say my good sir, this needs to get about 20% MOAR!!11!!!!!1!!!

In other news, have a moustache for another great chapter. :moustache:

I am really looking forward to the next chapter when they all finally meet. Too bad Liara and Garrus are criminal scum. :rainbowlaugh:

460394 Joker does mention them briefly. She might be okay; it's a pity that Bioware decided that whether they die or not isn't important enough for the ending. :twilightangry2: Celestia's tech may not be the most impressive, particularly the military aspect, but they are almost as advanced as the Protheans are, if not more so. :twilightsmile:

465699 Thanks for the 'stache; I'll put it straight into my rainy day fund. :pinkiehappy:

468832 Let's hope I can live up to expectations. :twilightsheepish:

479293

... Shell-shocked Asari in the medical ward. That's all I have to say.

479293
The whole "Almost as advanced as the protheans" thing is a bit of a contradiction- Even if only 2 of them have advanced technology, isn't that still a Reaper target?

Intriguing...like the science here.

Now I need to finish ME3 so I can see how bad it really is...

BTW: FIRST!

Pinkie Pie in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! :pinkiehappy:

509655 Biohazard was a very big help with the science. If he hadn't have taken a look through first, then Celestia would be controlling the sun through an inverse gravity well. (Which I'm not sure even exist.) He also named the enzyme and made it all science-y. The ending was not good, as I'm sure you've heard, but I think that the majority of the game makes up for it. If the journey was absolutely great up until the last leg, was the whole journey pointless?

510568 Soon.

510934 Nuh-uh, please try again. Thanks for reading, I left some comments on your story. Most of them were grammatical tips that I learned the hard way. If you need extra help then head on over to the Ponychan writer's training grounds: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/97756.html is the current version. The reviewers and pre-readers there really helped me.

511386 'tis a pity. No Krogans on board, but that doesn't mean we're not going to see any. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

511844 Gotta go. Here come the space cops. :twistnerd:

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

The mane 6 in space. Awesome. :pinkiehappy:

Hmmm a couple of things.

It seems the alicornians are far more advanced than the protheans which makes it a little hard to swallow to me. their holograms for example can fool the crew, while the prothean's holograms can clearly e identified at such. The level of power of their biotics is too big if we are going with them being biotics and not magic. I mean, the protean modified the asari to be powerful biotics and they can't do a lot of things the alicorns can, like surviving in space and beating a star ship in a race. It's just too much. Take into consideration the amount of energy that would require and the size of a princess. Biotic specialists require a lot of calories just to have the energy to do battle in the ground. Imagine the amount of energy it require to travel to space, phase into an starship and beat it in a race to the moon?

Apparently their technology is plug and play since they can just connect to the Normandy's database with no compatibility problem, though that can be explained if they are using salvaged tech from pirate ships.

3 Alicorns created a device that can control the rotation of a planet? I think that's too much. I would just change the reasons of why the govern.
Since this is a universe govern by science things like Nightmare moon and Discord have no place in here so a lot of the backstory will change.

Celestia seems more aggressive and out of character, I would expect her to be more reasonable. And Shepard seems too nervous for a guy that have confronted the council and reapers face to face.

Sending the mane 6 six will require a better explanation too. It's a really important mission with galactic consecutive. Sending a baker, a farmer, a fashion designer, a librarian, a veterinarian and a weather pony makes it seems like Celestia is not taking it seriously. The mane 6 seeing what the reapers can do to other races can be traumatizing and you have to take into account their reactions to being lied by Celestia about their species. It's not something that just be shrugged. "Hey girls turns out you are my lab project and and I'm sending you with this aliens to the other side of the galaxy in middle of galactic extinction to rescue an alicorn scientist." Having them just accept that would be poor writing so it's something to take into account.

I would expect her to send some of the royal guard. The only reason the mane 6 are called by her is because the Elements of Harmony. Since they have no place on this quest I don't see why she would risk them. The elements would require and explanations for their roles since as I said there is no magic, just some god-class biotics so the whole magic of friendship really has no place here.

And please no Fluttershy staring a reaper, that's just silly. People really like to exaggerate that power.

590609 Hey there Natzo. I am currently busy with revision and other projects but I will get back to this eventually. Anyway your concerns are all quite reasonable considering what I've written here. By trying to explain everything, I've left myself no wiggle room for this kind of stuff. In the original draft, which still requires some adaptation, Celestia and Luna were artificial intelligences themselves and their bodies were simply platforms. I have scrapped that idea due to the inherent incredulity of the matter. Luna's speed is purely biotic, as is her ability to breathe in space. Biotics get stronger as the individual ages and learns to control it, hence the Asari Matriarchs powers, so a logical assumption would be that millennia of focus and knowledge would gift these alicorns with abilities that seem impossible.

I'm going with the idea that Protheans were the Krogan/Turians of the last cycle: a powerful war-like race that focused on subjugating/destroying everyone they come across. As such there technology, while still undoubtedly advanced, would still appear rough and simplistic to the Asari of that cycle, which is what I imagine the Alicornians to be. As they were a very scientific and humanitarian race, their military tech will be lacking but their other tech wouldn't be. Due to this induced immortality, every individual would be able to transcend their field of study and become fonts of knowledge in their respective fields. Add to that the fact that three scientists managed to continue working for longer than the races were space worthy. The only real concern is the fact that they didn't go mad.

I had hoped to explain certain magical phenomenon using science, but I still can't think of anything for Discord. Nightmare Moon was simply a rogue Luna. When Luna realised that Celestia would never release the ponies from her control she prepared for war. Celestia sealed her inside the base with a time lock while she created six ponies that would be able to "recover" Luna from her "curse". Celestia is massively OOC, I know. I need her to be in order for this to work. If she were agreeable and welcoming, then why weren't they known to the Citadel? First I've heard of Shepard being OOC, but then that might be due to just how I imagine my version of Shepard.

The Royal Guard would probably be less useful in this scenario actually. Rigid training and comparatively limited loyalty would not make them particularly adaptable. While certain characters are less suited than others, *cough* Fluttershy *cough, the point really is to prove to Shepard that they are useful. The reason they are Elements is because they are the crème de la crème of ponies genetically. Superior genes lead to heightened abilities. I briefly considered keeping the Elements themselves as weapons, but that in itself was a ridiculous idea. I won't give them any ridiculous superpowers, but Twilight is still an absurdly powerful biotic. I'm not going to have Celestia tell the Mane Six everything. She needs them in tip-top fighting shape, so i would be counter-productive to drop a bomb like this on them. She'll tell them what they need to know, and that alone.

I hope this cleared up at least some of those problems. If any are still wholly relevant, then I'll make sure to flag them and try and overcome them. Thank you for taking the time to comment in such detail. :twilightsmile:

590936 It's fun analyzing story points. This is the main problem when trying to do a universe in which the ponies are part of a bigger universe, like various alien races. Why only the ponies can use magic for example? Magic is always portrayed as overpowered, so trying to include science and tech is normally a problem. Personally I like the approach fables has to this. Tech beats magic duo that anyone can use it, guns are faster than spellcasting, plastic explosives are versatile etc. I would still lower the power level of their biotics. Maybe having Luna use armor when she teleports, though it still feels like you're using "Biotics can do anything". As I said remember they require energy. Beating a starship might be too much, even with 50,000 years there should be a limit.

I would recommend having a point in the story in which the main 6 personalities jeopardize the mission, since some can be too trusting and naive, like Pinkie and Fluttershy. I wouldn't be surprised if Shepard snapped at them and made them understand that this is not one of their "silly adventures" and that millions are dying for it to be jeopardized by them. I mean, the main 6 are not warriors, they only beat Discord, NMM and Chrysalis (ok this was Cadance and SA) because of their hubris. People like Cerberus would have no problem killing them immediately if they posed a threat. Maybe one of them dying for them to understand the score.

I mean the galaxy is peril and Celestia gives them children, not even soldiers.

I personally would think the crew won't be too happy with them asking questions and being annoying. They are military professionals and I doubt they will have the patience for Pinkie or trying to explain things to a farmer that bucks trees. Maybe even Shepard calling Celestia out for their inactivity.

Though like with my thoughts of the Raloi, I don't think the Reapers would have ignored the ponies in this cycle. They will clearly see they are related to the alicorns and eliminate any threat. Is not like the ponies can hide the defense network and their whole garden world this time. If the reapers win they take the time to sweep thoroughly.

As for genetics, remember that Metal Gear and Miranda thought us that genetics don't make the soldier. Miranda admits that for all her genes, Shepard is still better.

Also, no Javik? It would be interesting to see the 2 remnants of the previous cycle interacting and how they see each other.

590980 Didn't shell out for the Javik DLC and didn't get the special edition. I could attempt to write him in based on what I've seen on YouTube and read on the Wiki, but as a character he seems very... odd, like the sort of character that would be hard to write for even if I had first hand experience of his actions. Yes, I would agree that this is probably the perfect scenario for him, but I don't think I could do him justice.

Maybe I do still have Luna and Celestia as ridiculously OP. It would be... difficult to tone them down without completely removing certain scenes. Hang on, perhaps the Luna they pursue is simply a holographic projection? That makes more sense, all things considered. I think I'll keep in the stasis bubble and the teleportation though, they have been proven to actually be possible for biotics. I didn't want magic to be underpowered though. That's the problem. It needs to be on par with technology which can create some problems, as you can imagine. In an ideal world, I'd have Twilight Sparkle and Kaidan Alenko as a match for power. The magical advantages posed by Twilight being matched by Kaidan's technology. Of course, this is hard.

The point about their naivety is a very good one actually, I think I may have to present a scenario in which that happens, probably with Pinkie. I think killing one of them off might be going too far, although I don't know. Some people don't like killing off a main character like that, others think it silly to have them untouchable. I will muse on that point. I know this is probably the wrong way to take it, but the Mane Six did better against the Changelings than the entirety of the Royal Guard. Celestia may be testing Twilight and her pals as much as she is testing Shepard. Genetics do make an important base though. Besides, Shepard is half robot pretty much, of course Miranda can't beat that. A cyborg Miranda though would be unstoppable.

Had to look up the Raloi there. I guess I'm not as big a Mass Effect geek as I thought I was. :twilightoops: Still it had to work to some degree. The Asari worship a Prothean who helped unite the tribes, right? Tribes being the key word there. It's only a few thousand years between tribes and kingdoms. I think that the Reapers would ignore the garden world, the space station is another matter. They did ignore the Prothean research station on Ilos though, so they can't detect all technology.

591403 I think the hologram could work, though the super realistic construct seems to push it a little, though it's passable. Illos was destroyed an resettled later, as part of various projects that remained unknown to each other.

I would put Twilight on part maybe with Kaidan or a Maiden Asari. She might have the potential but her studies are not combat oriented. Ponies seems to be the size of a volus if I were to guess. This comes from a comparison of sizes in the show. Take that into account during battle scenes and scenes of strength.

Remember you're throwing characters from a very peaceful world into a galaxy with very different cultures and things like slavery, drugs, war and prostitution. Remember what Garrus said about children, the ponies are pretty much that. They might think because they "beat" NMM, depending on how you play it, they are tough. I would put things like Dragons and such being designed by the alicorns to not harm ponies to justify Fluttershy making one go away. I doubt a Threwser maw will listen to her.

Also, pretty much every species is descendant from predators and they are the apex predators of their planets, so they will probably clash with the grass munchers.

If you want more tips or something feel free to ask, I like coming up with this ideas. :twilightblush:

The beauty of a story is in the details.

591553 Thanks, I'll have to keep that in mind. If I run into any more problems during planning, I'll be sure to message you. Thank you for being so delightfully informative. Besides the fact that I'm currently juggling two other stories and a ton of revision, this next chapter was proving difficult to write. It's hard to get realistic reactions. Some characters are pretty transparent on the matter: Tali'll definitely love them, Liara will want to study them, Vega will probably just get annoyed. Others not so much.

I was debating doing the usual "pairing" method. Shepard and Twilight, Vega and Dash, Kaidan and Applejack, Fluttershy and Tali all kinda work. Pinkie/Rarity and Garrus, not so much. Maybe Garrus and Dash, Pinkie and Vega? Possibilities. No real match for Rarity though. EDI might just cut it. I don't know. It's all just a distraction I do not need right now. After I crank out a H:CE update, I want to do Chapter 2 for the Invisible War (This is just a coat of paint on an old chapter so shouldn't take long) then I can focus on a final Mass Effect update before Exam blackout time.

Elcor are most likely herbivorous, probably Hanar too. Not all Council Races are carnivores, just the bipedal ones. The galaxy is harsh, yes, but if Shepard and his crew can pull through almost every fight, so can the ponies. I simply have to put them on Omega at some point, that will be fun. :pinkiehappy:

591709 Well omega is under Cerberus control right now, and Shepard has yet to find their base. Vega with Pinkie maybe.

The crew can pull through every fight because most have military background, have knowledge of how things work since they grew up in this environment and have been fighting the reapers for years. The ponies kick trees, though the Ursa major was impressive, I wouldn't include such being in the story, they look silly. Still I would think Celestia adapted the animal to not harm ponies. Hanar are carnivorous, thane mention they are unparalleled hunters underwater. The elcor could be anything from carnivorous to omnivorous, since their mouth are weird and it's hard to see. They are slow only because of the high gravity of Dekunna, their strength might make them great hunters.

This brings another interesting thing. How alicorns evolved. Since they didn't had biotics/magic, are herbivores and as such are prey, and have no manipulator limbs like hands or claws (even the elcor and hanar can use their limbs to manipulate objects), it makes you wonder how they evolved. Were they uplifted? Personally I wouldn't see the pony/alicorn army as powerful. And since it seems biotics are necessary for flight, were did they get their wings? As product of genetic modification?

You don't have to address it in the story, but you could add a "codex entry" at the end of each chapter to enrich the story.

591807 Twilight is a quick thinker and a problem solver (Like Shepard). Rainbow Dash isn't afraid to put herself in harm's way, and would charge an enemy no matter the odds (Grunt). Applejack is dependable and always willing to give her all (Garrus). I'm sure I could draw more parallels if I have to. They all have the potential to be strong. Sure they're probably going to be pretty soft at the start, but they can harden and adapt. Besides, Tali had no military training and she's been in all three games. I can see that they're not the best candidates, not by a long shot, but it's that or OCs. I think I'd rather have the Mane Six than some OCs, wouldn't you?

That certainly is interesting. It might be worth considering that Griffons are the apex predators of the planet (barring dragons, of course.) Alicornians would have made very easy prey. Then again so did humans before we got smart. It may have just been a case of the biggest brain wins. Biotics are only used for Pony flight. Alicornians have much better proportioned wings, don't you think? I'm thinking they were capable of realistic flight. You can speculate all you want however. I personally don't have a clue. The codex thing sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll have Twilight keep her own codex where she explores human concepts, and later on Liara could have some dossiers.

591896 Well, humans are pack hunters, use resistance hunt to tire the prey until they die, use tools and have hands so it's not the same. Though I don't think you can count gryphons since this was a random world selected to introduce a clone population. I don't think evolution counts here. Maybe the alicorn's homeworld has lower gravity and an atmosphere that allows flight. Maybe hollow bones and lesser muscle, making them lean and fast. That's the justification for Angel in X-men at least. Though his wings are much much bigger and his body I dare say is smaller and more fit to fly. I would omit weather manipulation and cloud walking, justifying those with biotics and using them later in the story might prove bothersome. After all this is an AU.

Tali still knew that the galaxy was not a nice place, knew how to contact the shadow broker, knew not to trust the mercenaries, and hold her own from assassins. She was not naive, as the flotilla gives them training for their pilgrimage. Though their personalities are "similar" I don't think they can just jump into the fray until later in the story. Maybe not kill, but have someone get badly hurt for the naive viewpoint. Maybe Fluttershy tries to reason with cerberus or a varren and it ends up putting someone in their team in danger. Or Dash being rash and jumping into danger. ...Or pinkie throwing a Cerberus party or trying to befriend a banshee. I certainly doubt "the magic of friendship" will work outside Equus. We pretty much just got people to stop killing each other in the game, the turians and krogan are certainly no friends, and I doubt a talking unicorn will convince them otherwise. Shepard at least has pull with their goverments.

I certainly don't think Dash is similar to Grunt. She is hardheaded, but Grunt is a guy that laughs when he rams a knife into someone's spine.


------




Funny thing I read. While still predators, the krogan have the eyes in the sides for better vision against predators, a trait shared with the ponies(equines) and other prey animals. That mean the krogan were prey in Tuchanka for most of their evolution. The elcor, volus and the humanoid aliens have eyes towards the front, a predator trait.

Woah, sh*t! I wish I'd seen this earlier! :pinkiegasp:
This is really good, Cainiam! Far better than that "Magic Effect" story I read a while back. :pinkiehappy: I can't wait to read more! (Hopefully not a the cost of H:CE, though...)

511844 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

Haha, magic is actually biotics. That kinda' kicks ass.

I gotta say, I'm loving this. The whole "Luna and Celestia are actually survivors of an ancient technological race who survived the Reapers" is a LITTLE hokey to me, but I can forgive it for just how well done the Mass Effect bits are. The dialogue sounds right, the characters sound right, the techno-babble sounds perfect. I especially love how you pick apart Shepherd's interactions with Luna and Celestia like they're a careful game of chess, in which every word or reaction determines the "victor". A lot of people would've just focused on the action-y elements of the series, but making it a point to capture the soul of the Mass Effect conversation —HALF of what Mass Effect IS— creates such an air of authenticity that you constantly have my undivided attention.

I eagerly await further installments :twilightsheepish:

I think I can speak for a large amount of us.
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

590936
I agree with everything you said, especially the part about Shepard being Out Off Character (is that what OOC means?). Last time I checked Shepard can be anyone. He may have the default face (does he?) but the persona of your choosing, Right?

I love that part when Luna and Shepard were playing the game of wits: Funny :) Insta-fav!

You know the universe has gone to shit when the ponies get advanced tech

591896 i hope u choose to continue this story im getting so excited:pinkiehappy:

382790 can you point out where that is plz ?

3957712 "Track button" used to be it's own thing in FIMfic's version history.

It has since been merged with the favorite button (the star to the right of the title).

From then on, if the story updates, you will see a number appear on your dashboard under the site banner. It's the button with the star on it (see the correlation?).

You'll get used to the site. don't worry.

3957805 Thanks for the help :D

Login or register to comment