• Member Since 27th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen April 12th

WriteAboutHorses


I've been watching MLP since 2012, and though I don't consider myself an amazing writer, I love to make something out of the ideas I occasionally get.

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3 years ago, Princess Celestia ascended to The Great Beyond, leaving King Flash Sentry and Queen Twilight Sparkle in charge of Equestria. Twilight has the Tree of Harmony uprooted from the Everfree Forest and re-planted in a garden in Canterlot, but Twilight doesn't realize the consequences until Equestria is once again threatened by the black vines from the Everfree Forest.

After exterminating the pesky weeds, Twilight becomes unpopular with her subjects, and her family is put in danger.

On Hiatus

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 20 )

I've had an idea of what's going to happen since Twilight shut Flash's mouth. :ajsmug:

Good chapter! Can't wait to see where you take this story.

PREEEEEEEEGNAAAAAAAANT!

Wasn't the reason the Tree of Harmony in the forest so it would get out of control? :twilightoops:

This story already gets major props for using shining and cadence's proper titles.

How long does each chapter take?

4304331
It depends really. Sometimes I can write a whole chapter in one go, or I space it out over a few days. Take the first two chapters for instance, the second came out the day after the first one, but then Chapter 3, which is only a few words longer, took 10 days. I publish chapters as soon as I'm done (which is something that I know I shouldn't do, since I should take the time to proofread)

One small issue. Pinkie is the element of laughter.

4373739
:pinkiegasp: I have no clue how I managed that. Fixed

I support democracy but... reading this kinda want me to rought for Twilight and her friends. I get why the ponies are getting mad about but that's because the truth wasn't fully released. In the American Rev, the British raised taxes and did other stuff, and the French Rev, the people of poverty revolt because the royals treated them unfair. But this Rev begins just because a dam News Paper company just wanted to make a few bucks. Anyways I hope that in the end there could be a compromise where both parties win.

4380644
I'll admit that it is a bit confusing, I'm no J.K Rowling and I still see myself as a beginner when it comes to writing.

Equestria is mad at Twilight because she overlooked something so important and obvious when she uprooted the Tree of Harmony and put Equestria in danger, it's not helping that a newspaper is printing exaggerations either

4383691 Well still hope for a compromise like a democratic monarchy.

I just thought up of a good sequel. What to hear it?

I like the story, you have an interesting premise and I'm curious as to what will happen next :twilightsmile:

One small thing though, I think that your writing style is quite simple, and it tends to become a bit repetitive. For example, every time you bring up Twilight's crown, you mention that it is the same one she has in the series, where mentioning it just once would be fine. I also feel that you tend to show rather than tell. An example of this would be the beginning of the first chapter, where you give an overview of the events that led to the current situation. Rather than just telling us "Celestia went to the great beyond, made Twilight and Flash Queen and King on their wedding day, Luna stayed behind to "catch up" with her exile, Cadance and Shining broke apart from Equestria with the Crystal Empire and they are visiting now." It might be better to break it up a bit and give the information at the point where the story needs it. Perhaps you could work with flashbacks here?

On the other hand, I'm no expert in writing myself, so don't feel obligated to follow my advice. :twilightsheepish:

All in all, I'll give you a like, and I'll fave your story to keep track of it :twilightsmile:

4427259
Now that I look at it... wow... :derpyderp2: I clumped what could've been a whole chapter worth of flashbacks into four short paragraphs :rainbowlaugh:. Thanks for the advice anyway, I might use flashbacks later on to get deeper into what happened between the events of the show and the story.

I'm glad you like it anyway, I feel like this could turn into one of my favorite works.

Sounds like Vatini's palace in Pokemon movie 14 Vatini and the surge of Resharam

(note: names and/title may be spelt wrong)

:twilightsheepish:

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