Ah. So, this is it. I had a hunch.

Schorl, I don't know if you read this or even give a sh*t about what I have to say anymore, there's one thing I would like to you to know:

It hurts that you didn't trust me enough to keep this a secret. Some time to deal with it in advance would've been, well, nice. Then again, I am probably in the category you mentioned at the end there, so... my opinion is more or less worthless, I guess. Maybe.

Here's hoping the people you really want to work with, who do have your trust, deserve it. Don't know if it's going to be me from here on out. This isn't supposed to be a threat, or 'retaliation' or whatever. Right now, I don't really feel like working on anything.

7413636
This, fuck NCN.

And fuck FoE in general for wasting so many writers to a badly made universe born out of a guy with too much money on his hands commissioning the same artists willing to do his stuff and OCs over and over again. Mind breaking and domination ARE among my fetishes, but this universe is so infantile in it and most stories are so pushed on the straight up misoginy/pure sex that it really turns me off and feels like it was made by a pervy virgin, and this reaction to you destroying his self insert is proof of it for me.

At least now there's the /mlp/ submission/domination threads, where the stories there focus on the breaking, slave/master relationships, and the morality of it.

Anyway, godspeed, OP, and you don't deserve this. As much as I hate FoE, I recognize your talent.
Although seeing you agree with many of my thoughts on it, makes me wonder what you would be able to write on your own without such stupid constraints (including/besides ETS)

So um. Wow.

I never looked deeper into this FoE stuff. I never really defended it but I never hated it because I looked at it and said "Oh its just some niche fetish porn that people don't or shouldn't actually take seriously", but look at all this background stuff.

I mean I never took it seriously because the premise is just so ridiculous but they had to have something other than "they just had sex". But it looks like the people in charge of this stuff actually mean it. So. Facepalm.

wow, the Post FoE people are worse than the FoE people. Lying to and manipulating people in the real world, unwilling to accept that others like something they don't. To like FoE you don't have to tear down anything of the real show, it's as off to the side as any other fanfic. But these are all devoted to tearing down the writers of FoE

I love you Schorl, and I love what you've done.
Not because I hate FoE, but because I hate what it became over time.
FoE, at it's base level, with it's base rules, is fine in my opinion. Just another hardcore misogynist wetdream, and I think we can all get on board with those.
But what I hate, what I've always despised as a reader of many, many stories.. is a Mary Sue.
So obviously, the fact that the entire RACE of the Caribou are Mary Sues bothered me from the start, but I anesthetized myself of my concerns by focusing on what appealed to me, and still appeals to me, about the setting.
But as time went on, that became increasingly impossible, as it becomes impossible to repeatedly hear nails across a chalkboard without screaming and tearing at your own ears.
Schorl, what you've done is not only create an impressive, massive, and incredibly entertaining bit of smut.. you've given FoE the sendoff, the two barrels of buckshot to Ol' Yeller's head, it TRULY deserved after having degenerated into un-entertaining, grinding, irritating, nothingness.

As a fan of the setting, now satisfied with the way you've chosen to put it to bed, I say, good luck in all your future endeavors.. and godspeed.

And this is why this is the best Fall of Equestria story in existence.

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What a great explanation to a story. I loved it and to be fair it was very well written. I just have a couple of questions like where are all the children in FoE. I just have no clue where they are so can you explain that because I could never find a explanation to what happen to them. (sorry for asking) This was actually the thing that made me like the FoE universe because it's an interesting concept that i like to think from time to time. Over all, great explanation and hope to see more stuff from you

And yes, Red's and caribou are stupid. Except for Gunne, he's a badass

lol

a count of monte carlo-esque revenge plot against a moneyed OC-obsessed asshole through the medium of dark pony smutfiction

totally new to this, but can't help but approve and laugh and applaud on principle

the ending was fine either way

7413707 All the kids and elderly don't exist because old people aren't sexy and loli/shota is banned on Fimfiction. That's the reasoning.

7413698
Oh yeah, I'm sure Schorl is such a monster for "betraying" a guy who don't even have a tenth of their talent by giving the story the ending it deserves.

Actually, its a great representation of karma, if you put NCN as Dainn and AJ as schorl then you pretty much have the perfect allegory.

7413714 Ok thanks but maybe just explain where they are not that they all just poofed out of existence or got all killed. Like say they went to camps or something like that.

Holy shit, that was incredible, and I honestly do agree with you on every point you made. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a bigger burn in my life. Can't wait to see what you have in store for us in the future. Man, NCN's got to be salty about this one.

As a reader I felt this story could be more then just porn from the start. As you went on, as the reader, I felt you began to tackle the main issure with the dark theme FoE is imfamos for. And that by itself is a great goal as a writer to make. As you went on, I felt more and more related towards the characters and wanted them not to suffer. This is a great story and I feel sorry for anyone that don't recognize that.

All I will say is this holy shit and well thanks for writing a great story that made me happy and in the immortal words of Spock live long and prosper

Well said. Your view points, time spent writing and general experience really do show what FoE can really be about. While you are most certainly the 'villain' in this, you're the lesser evil. RI mean really, in the end, that's all this is. A story, inspired by something someone found interesting and wanted to write on paper. Shouldn't be taken seriously.

I look forward to reading more of your stories, settings and characters as this has no doubt inspired me to really think about plot points and issues that may happen during my little take on the Post FOE with Sombra. Take care, and keep writing what you love.

I've always sort of enjoyed Fall of Equestria. The premise is excellent for what you describe as "delightfully sexual silliness", as long as you don't mind glossing over stuff when it gets a little too extreme. As time goes on, though, it's hard not to get frustrated that every single story that deals with anything meaningful or substantive has been abandoned, and NCN/the new writers/writers that are still around seem to be deliberately going out of their way to avoid the canon characters that people actually care about, and the most interesting questions and ideas that the setting raises.

I'll probably continue to enjoy new content from FoE on occasion, but I feel more and more that its continued existence only serves to discourage other people like yourself from taking the idea and just doing it better. Thanks for this story, and also for the incredibly amusing mental image of you being secretly offended by NCN's criticism and doing an enormous, over the top, Shakespearean soliloquy about your elaborate plan for revenge.

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7413698 You're just mad that she was a better writer than any of the fucking other canon writers.

love your storys never going to down vote

I'm sorry.

Hi Schorl,

I discovered the "Fall of Equestria" porn setting a little over a year ago but I only just discovered fimfiction.net (and so your Bruised Apples story) last month. While I enjoy the occasional BDSM erotica literature and furry art, and my girlfriend and I like to have some light bondage, I always found the drawings of FoE to be a little... extreme... For lack of a better word.

When I discovered the FoE group on this site, I read through all the canon stories and saved yours for last since "Bruised Apples" seemed to be the only incomplete story which had a writer who intended to finish it. I liked the "Fall of Cadence" story and was very disappointed that it was last updated in 2014. So when I read through your explaination (Yes, very word), i created an account to thank you for your dedication to finishing this story arc. You have no idea how frustrating it is to find a story you like online only to find it has been abandoned.

Since I started reading Bruised Apples this week, it has become one of my all time favorite fanfictions of any setting. Sure, the ending is a little abrupt I think, but you have great talent as a writer, and I really look forward to reading your other works.

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Dang, killed off Dainn.........wow.........

Is there going to be a final chapter that ties everything up?

By the way, as perhaps a small thank you for all the stuff that came before this, one more service as a proofreader:

You named this chapter "Explination". Unless it was intended as a case of artsy, funky spelling, you may want to change that.

A bit harshly worded, but I can appreciate the sentiment. Truth is, I don't really see anything wrong with FoE; it's a silly fantasy world not to be taken too seriously, and enjoyed on it's own terms. I actually quite appreciate its' existence, as the various flaws and gaps in its' lore pretty much INVITE others to overthink it and try and fill in (or tear apart) those gaps. ANYTHING that can promote creativity has worth, and FoE has certainly motivated quite a few artists and writers into action, whether through appreciation or distaste. I haven't written in YEARS, and even I've been considering my own silly take on the world. While I find the vitriol and spite thrown around a bit over-dramatic (and a bit too close to the kind of thinking that brought down "Ask Princess Molestia"), I'm glad content like this is still being created. Any reason to go balls-deep into over-analysis is something I can get behind! Heck, isn't that basically what brought the Brony fandom into existence in the first place? XD

Really I'm surprised that you managed to work with him for a long as you did to pull it off, I would have pulled my hair out frustrated and given him the middle finger long before now. Do I agree 100% with what you did? No,but I completely understand why you did it and from what you said it seems, to me anyway, that it was kind of something NCN needed to have happen to him.

That's a pretty thorough explanation, and I don't know what to add without repeating what either you or others have already said. But I'll give it my best shot.

I... can't really say I agree with this elaborate revenge plot on NCN and the other canon writers, and I actually do like most of the other canon stories that I've read (I think that Twipet's stuff is pretty darn good, though I take it you have personal issues with him). But I do agree that this is some pretty epic, and not too vicious revenge. I mean, this is your story. The only thing truly "wrong" that you did was lie about your intentions for it. If you had just abandoned NCN and his group and done your own thing, I don't think any reasonable person could blame you for writing your fanfiction the way you want to.

And while I'm relatively new to this subfandom, I can already tell that the problems with the setting have been talked to death. I will say that the various random "logical" issues or the seeming stupidity of the caribou don't bother me as much as they seem to bother you. I have a fairly robust suspension of disbelief, and I think a good author can excuse just about anything... though admittedly, most of the stories don't really bother with that, but it is smut. Serious smut? You're right, that's a bit of an oxymoron.

The big issues for me were the fact that the caribou were villain sues, which everyone knows, and an issue that you sort of touched upon about red collars. Not so much the fact that they could rebel (although the nature of how caribou determined that you were truly a red collar, and how they kept black collars from killing either themselves or their masters was a little baffling to me), but that it didn't fit in with my understanding of human nature. Real people don't enjoy beating treated like trash; even if you condition them to think that they do, and even if you somehow make them into nymphomaniacs, they're still just as miserable. Love and self-worth are basic human necessities.

And it actually relieved me a little when I realized that Cadance was canonically mind-controlled (I think your story is actually the one that drove that home with the whole "there are no black collars in the Crystal Empire" thing), since I found the idea of three of the four alicorns becoming reds in a manner of days and weeks to be just preposterous. While mind control is kind of an expected and acceptable cheat, actual brainwashing doesn't exist in real life (or else everyone would be using it), and it would take a hell of a lot of work to convince me that Celestia and Twilight could become mindless whores almost overnight without mind control, and none of the canon authors seemed really up to that task. Not to mention how much more boring it made their characters. At least torturedLuna is sexy in a "look at how I took something beautiful and broke it on the ground!" kind of way, but red-collar Celestia isn't really Celestia at all; she's just some kind of sex doll that has a hot bod. Not nearly as much fun on paper as it would be in visual art.

Anyway. This whole turn of events definitely explains some things. I was really surprised at how far you were allowed to go in portraying the caribou in a negative light. The way you actually made efforts to explain how even ponies like Roseluck could have come to be red collars (embracing sex as a means of getting some measure of control over her life, is the impression I got) really made this story stand out to me. It was clear from early on that you weren't just doing it for the fetishes; you were taking this world seriously and doing some serious things with it.

...As a consequence I didn't really find it very sexually stimulating, even compared to some of the other stories like "Twilight Falls" and "What a Fright," since having ponies being violently and somewhat-realistically raped over and over again by random strangers is not really titillating to me, but I hope you take it as a compliment that I came for the clop but stayed for the story. I could stand the caribou being monsters, because you actually portrayed them as monsters and gave the ponies realistic means to fight back within the context of the setting. I was almost literally on the edge of my seat for this final arc, hoping against all hope that you would decide to give NCN the middle finger and actually give your characters a happy ending, by destroying the crystal heart, or at least showing that Celestia wasn't actually broken or something.

Well, you totally did that in a more extreme way than I could have possibly imagined, and though I do feel kind of bad for NCN now, I did actually get what I wanted. That doesn't happen every day, and it's pretty awesome when it does.

I do agree that there's plenty of room for people to write even within the setting that you've created, just by showing what happened in that one year. And there's really no compelling reason why people have to be constrained based on what any one person says is "canon" anyway. If people want to ignore this story and write in the canon universe where Luna is still being raped to near-death almost every day centuries into the future, well, that's certainly allowed. I'll even read it if it's a good story.

I am looking forward to you continuing in this continuity, for sure, since you are arguably the best and definitely the most consistent writer that FoE has. I would love to see what the heck was going on with Chrysalis during this whole time especially, what with the canon contributors being so incredibly coy with the changelings and always promising more information "later." If you want to take a stab at Celestia, too, I would love you forever. I've been baffled by what was supposed to have brought her to this state, and I think Silent Dream was supposed to deal with that after she finished "Twilight Falls," which is clearly never going to happen.

But ultimately, write what you want to write. After you finish the epilogue here, I'm super looking forward to your work in the future.

All along I've wondered "wouldn't the stallions get sick of being second-class citizens to the caribou, who they presumably outnumber 20 to 1, and just overthrow them and make Shining Armor or Blueblood King?" Super excited to see I was right in this regard, and I can't wait to see what else you're going to do!

You, Schorl Tourmaline, are probably one of the best writers on this site. I mean, I doubt many would have done what you did. In fact, it earned you a follower. Can't wait to see what you do next.

Out of all the stories in the FoE cannon, yours was always the most compelling. I will admit reading this was not easy. I would also get excited, not cause I like the themes of FoE, but because I feel like my inner child is constantly being kicked in the nuts as I read. I have seen worse depictions of these topics before. But the key word there is 'seen'. Actually reading these themes and watching my favorite characters go through it makes my experience much more personal. I had to stop reading to compose myself yet I always came back because I don't like leaving things unfinished and I like good story writing no matter the theme in it. So thanks for the awkwardly cringe worthy yet well written story.

That being said, I have my issue with FoE. The biggest being Celestia as a red collar. It makes zero sense to me that she can not only rule a kingdom for 1000+ years successfully but still be reduced to a sex slave. I mean she banished her own blood and had to deal with that for an extended period of time. But she still found the drive to keep going. This makes her arguably the most strong willed person out there. If anything Luna should be a red collar sense she gave into the nightmare. I get the why since it fits with the setting of hopelessness of a person who seems unbreakable becoming broken. But I don't get the how with everything she has most likely overcome during her rule.

Another thing that kinda got to me was the caribou as the villians. They are deers for christ sake; SANTA'S FUCKING REINDEER. Why pick them? For ironic purposes? A creature we all perceive as good natured performing reprehensible acts? I just can't take that at face value when there were better options such as a satyr. A demon whose sole purpose is lusting after the female form. I feel they would fit better since MLP has a lot mythological creatures in it. This just a personal gripe but whatever. Thanks again.

7414125
There is actually another reason why caribou don't make sense as the villains. In real life, red deer are very much like NCN's caribou, and they would have fit his intents and purposes perfectly. However, caribou are literally the only species of cervids who aren't like that in any way. Among all species of cervids, caribou were literally the worst choice NCN could have picked. I wrote a blog post about that only a week ago.

Beautiful.
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Hell, I at least expected people to not take months to years to jot down an update to stories that probably should have been finished by now. I work two jobs and have a twice a week card game tournament, and I still make time to get my daily allotment of writing done.

Wow... that was the exact same thing I have always had on my mind about the canon FoE stories for years.

for all the people calling the Caribou Mary Sues for never losing, when exactly are they supposed to lose? The pics start in Media Res with the Caribou having won, which is the point of them. The stories are just meant to create a backstory.

I'm fan of Bruised Apples, but it has always taken me weeks to get up the nerve to read each new chapter. Because my writer's sense insisted that the direction of the story simply was not compatible with what I knew of the FoE canon and each chapter I expected to see the hammer fall and all of Applejack's hopes get crushed as she learned to the total futility of trying to buck the system.

Over the last few chapters of the story I started to think of it as an anti-FoE story, where it highlighted the negatives of the situation. I avoided commenting on it or starting threads devoted to it because I didn't want to get my hopes up only to get them crushed. Or to draw attention to what you were doing, again, so as to not get the rug pulled out from under my imagination.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you had this sort of plan in mind.

I too was attracted to the stories due to the artwork, but within two days of discovering there were actual text stories I experienced the same sort of anger I experience when I read stories about the days of real world slavery, or of the time when women had no rights, could not vote, could not own property, could be physically chastised by their husband, and that it was regarded as his duty and responsibility to physically punish her.

My reaction was to try and create a BDSM fetish world of my own with a little more thought given to how it might have come about. Sort of an anti-fall story. Problem was once I worked my issues out of my system my motivation to work on that world sort of tapered off.

I'm amazed you could sustain your motivation for so long.

Kudos.

I still can't believe that this is not featured in the FoE group, even as fan works, just because of the end, despite 250000 out of 300000 words being FoE and the best of it.
The people behind this are really childish.

7414339

well, just a little bit of wrap up left for this story it seems. i find i agree with u on a lot of he points u made about FoE, as a universe, it makes little logical sense. i will also admit to having a few personal fantasies involving Dainn and my own unnamed character, however, i took a page from SAO when creating them. unlike most, my self insert character always come with flaws and personal baggage, which i feel makes them more interesting at the very least, so it was very much like what happened in SAO when Kirato fought against 'Oberon'. in this instance, Oberon and Dainn r alike in that the Caribou King almost literally stole everything he had. he used guile and deception to take the Crystal Empire and then it was not him that planed out the invasion of Equestria nor was it he who ultimately executed the plan, that was Shining Armour after being corrupted. to quote Kirito, "(he's) the King of Thieves, sitting alone atop (his) stolen throne". so when i used my character to battle Dainn, it was very much a matter of the 'King of Thieves vs. the Gilded Hero'.

7414480
As Schorl's proofreader, I feel deeply ashamed now.

Personally, I'd say your stories are more canon and acceptable because it makes canon characters actually feel canon, explains the reasons properly, and gives us actual, real information...

For all the words, time, emotion, reason you've put in to your stories while working with the rest of the FoE Originators, I'd say you're the one most entitled to being canonized. Fuck me for saying it, but this is My Little Pony, not My Little Caribou... I always believed that the ponies should win in the end... Even if things can never be the same in the end doesn't mean Equestria can't come out on top.

I'm an RPer and have done countless FoE scenarios with a very large RPer pool... All different types... Nine out of ten, while following canon knowledge and power ever since FoE first appeared, Equestria eventually wins one way or another, because 'Friendship is Magic'

Though I am a lil sad with the lack of my favorite fetish (impregnation/pregnancy) in the FoE universe, since it feels like it should be an extremely common occurrence... Hell, have ANY mares gotten pregnant since the Caribou showed up?

Not my fault if he was too distracted by the tits and asses to see the not so hidden meaning.

Schorl, you Magnificent Bastard, I read your BOOK!

(Because I sure would love to have people serve me hand and foot for no other reason than because I legally own them)

I'm not sure if that's just a me thing, but I genuinely can't tell if you're serious or sarcastic.

Equestria, by week one, would be suffering from not only the Tantabus, creep vines, a magic stealing centaur who give no shits about taking over their kingdom, unending snowstorms caused by not only Windigos and removing the heart from the Crystal Empire, the inability to get rid of it all with the weather team workers cut in half, a food shortage, mass suicides, mass homicides (from resistance members who wouldn’t give two care about killing traitors to Equestria), a food shortage, probably a plethora of STDs that would turn the populous into a mass of rotting horse meat quicker than a red collar drops her non-existent panties, and the sun and the moon being completely uncontrollable, possibly never to rise ever again (and these are just the things I can come up with off hand. I’m certain that there are plenty more things people could, and have, come up with).

Discord.

I’ve even asked NCN ahead of time to for his “permission”, and got his approval, to make FoE stories using the characters I intend to use in these stories, characters like Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Gilda, Princess Ember, Queen Chrysalis, Maud Pie, and Braeburn, so if you happen to see a ton of images in the near future involving them as a part of his emergency measures to remove me from the setting entirely, feel free to send me a thank you message for getting you more porn via kicking his rear into gear. -_^

... Are you psychic? Because I was going to do that.

Anyways, I guess that is everything for now. Thumbs down me if you want, or unsubscribe if you feel it necessary. I’ll understand, and support your decision, but I’ll also still be writing more things for FoE for those who are still interested. Expect an epilogue soon, to show how things end up in this version of FoE I’ve created. Hope to see you all soon, and I hope you all have a pleasant day.

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(As a sidenote, I'm genuinely impressed by this. This is some Count of Monte Cristo/Palpatine/Xehanort levels of Magnificent Bastardry. And for that, to thee, I tip my hat.)

7414450

I've finally figure out why you all irritate me so much. You're like the anti-Conversion Bureau people. Because as lousy as the main setting is, it still sucks more, to have people who hate it obsessed over it so much, just focus solely on the negative aspects and even throw in stuff that isn't there to tear it down more

7414610
Here, have the Picard again:

How do you get the completely idiotic idea that I hate FoE?

7414648
Exactly. Bruised Apples doesn't tear FoE down. It lifts it up.

I don't care what NCN says, FoE needs to do something in order to break the stagnation spell it currently has

For the record, this is EASILY my favorite story in the FoE universe. your ending doesnt change it for me at all. if anything I would love to see you continue the storyline. I know that may not happen, but I would love to see it.

7414660
Schorl Tourmaline has already said that she is going to write more FoE stuff.

I first came into contact with FoE when i was Googleing Fallout Equestria and got some strange images among the results. One of my favorite type of stories are grime-dark. Be it gore, war and death like the Warhammer and fallout setting or this type of setting. The sex and slavery type. I like the because they take civilization, human value, morals and all those things we consider "obvious" and destroys them.

For example: Freedom is something we say is a basic human right. But in this settings it is shown that it can be taken away from you. Your value is relative.

These setting are also not always morally black and white. What I am trying to say is that you can learn something from them. Not all of them but some of them.

Another reason I like grim-dark is beast explained by this guy:

So I started reading the FoE stories. Your story was the only one that actually progressed and so it was the one I liked the most. What I wanted was to see how the story ended and the journey to it.

I agree with you, a story does not need a happy ending all the time as long as the story is a good one. Before I did not know if NCN had any deeper themes with FoE or if it was just a fetish setting. Now that I know NCN never intended something deeper and that his ending always is that the Caribou wins I have no interest in this setting anymore. I have never met NCN or the other writers so I cant say something about them as a person but from what you have told, I have very low expectations of them now to deliver a good story.

Your Equestria Trainers setting however is very interesting and i look forward for more. I know that you have had a lot of people criticizing you for how it is not possible to abduct people but here are some counter arguments:

Anyways. I respect what you did and I wish you good luck in the future.

7414684
meant this specific storyline. the revolution, as it were.