• Published 16th Mar 2014
  • 1,757 Views, 78 Comments

A Norseman Raids Equestria - Timemaster

In the ninth century, the renowned and feared viking, Alrik the Strong, had finally set sail back to his home in Scandinavia. After a successful expedition in the Americas, his ship capsized, sending all of them to Valhalla, except one. Alrik.

  • ...

Who Are You To Judge?


Alrik arrived to a door that seemed to be locked just like the other, with a pad of symbols, but of a stronger-looking material. It did not matter to him, for his axe could cut all, and he, after a minute or two, smashed a hole through the tough door. It was a floor just like the previous, but the offices were only on the side and the middle was empty, save for a small table with some machines and a glass with a strange black liquid.

Alrik walked over to the table, picking up the glass, which to him was just an oddly shaped cup, but he knew it must have been a jug to these short creatures. He put his tongue's tip into the jug, and tasted nothing. He shrugged, throwing the jug over his shoulder into the broken door.

He searched through all the offices, not finding a single thing of interest. The most expensive thing would possibly be the crossbow encased in glass in the corner, but Alrik was never accurate with those things, so he just left it. Reenforcements for their troops should be coming soon, Alrik thought, so how should I kill them?

Usually, those who I kill just die, but should I let them live?Alrik sat on the small table (that was more of a wide bench) and thought for a moment.

The Punk, leader of M.A.T.O.

Arriving on the 2nd to top floor, The Punk is met with the door to the Police Department's Investigation office, and inputs his code.

For some reason, the numpad was not working. The Punk turned his neck to The Grounder, motioning him to help. They were being silent as to avoid being easily jumped when they enter. The Punk put his black with red swirled hooves on the left side, while The Grounder put his red with black swirled hooves on the right. Together, they pushed with their enormous might.

The wall creaked and the paint chipped, the metal screeched as it bent, and the chance of being stealthy was shattered.

"Push harder, Grounder," The Punk ordered, "Grounded, stand in the middle, we'll cover for your entry!"

The cleric just nodded, his special red goggles on, and said, "I do not think he is behind the door, cuz I don't see him, mates."

"Well, that is relieving, doc."

Grounder just nodded in agreement, pushing harder. The Punk did the same. Together, they pushed until they heard the door finally separate from the door and they tripped over their own overexertion. They both fell over onto the door, which also fell over onto the floor of the office. Grounder had a pained face, so he turned his neck with his now squinting eyes.

"Hey doc, can you he—" he said, opening his eyes to see...


Alrik watched the door suddenly fall inward, and would have been shocked, if he was not prepared. There was one of them who was not on the floor defensively, but with just one swim of the axe, the brown-suited pony was de-hoofed and put on the floor anyway. His little friend did not even notice till it was too late, and Alrik watched the three suited ponies scream at what had just occurred. It was loud, so Alrik put a pinky in one of his eardrums... which was abnormally clean for a person who almost never bathed.

After a few seconds of shrieking in shock, the ponies screamed some stuff at Alrik.

" Was zum Teufel!" The pony on the left side of Alrik screamed before rising up.

Sighing, Alrik swam the axe back to himself, de-hoofing the other pony that tried to rise up to him. Alrik could tell that they were strong from their build, but strength disappears if the muscles' connections do, and what better way than to cut them? It was a sad sight though, watching the weak animals scream in despair as they slowly died of bloodloss, but that did not matter to Alrik.

All that mattered is that one remained, Alrik thought.

Alrik walked over to the last one, stopping a foot away, and put his shield on his right hand by the rim and his weapon on the left holster, and looked as intimidating as he could. The pony looked at him, and before it could even speak, Alrik let the shield swim at a speed fast enough to knock the pony out without killing him. Alrik then picked up the pony, carrying him over the shoulder. His shield swam onto his back as his axe levitated to his remaining hand, the left one. He looked at the ponies slowly dying, watching one with a horn 'swimming' bodyparts to himself, possibly trying to reassemble himself. Alrik backed away, slowly as watching the beast, and picked up one of the "large" rugs in one of the offices, using a kind of strong, but lax, string to tie it up like his other bag. He put the pony in the bag, tightened it, and ripped off a fragment of his helmet, putting it in the bag as well. If he was right, he should be able to swim the fragment to move the bag like his other bag. He slammed the bag into the wall, laughing at this discovery.

As this was a world of magic, Alrik could take no chances, and left before that thing with a horn could suicide bomb him knowing it'll die. Once he reached the roof, he let his bag swim back to float him and quickly replaced the jarid with a fragment of his helmet. With all his jarids in their respective back slots, he felt a bit relieved. He shoved his axe into his flying boat, and swam upwards, the bags following him as he flew Northward...

Princess Celestia

The Princess of the Sun was eating her lunch, a small bruise on her bum, and looked depressed. Her cherry cake was not helping her cope with this stress, sadly, and it was pushed aside as her guest entered the room and sat down on the table with her.

"My liege," he said monotonously, "we have some more bad news."

"What," the fuck, " is it this time, Jerald?" Celestia asked her vassal.

"Manehatten's one leader of the two M.A.T.O. groups has been captured by the ape-like abomination."

She looked genuinely shocked, "H-how long did they fight," she said, "why wasn't the other group there?"

He sighed, "My liege, the second team was literally two floors below the first team, a minute away, and when they arrived The Grounded was found piecing together himself and the Grounder."

"The fight was less than a minute?"


The Princess laid on the table, and said, "anything else?"

"A-actually," the monotonous stallion said, "we have good news."

The Princess gave him her full attention.

"The dragon invasion from the west was stopped by the Princess of Nature herself."

Celestia worryingly asked, "did anything come to harm my friend, Daniel?"

"No," Grand Noble Daniel said, "she is fine, except for minor bruising from her energetic congratulations."

Then the Princess did something she had not done in a while...

She smiled.

Author's Note:

P.S. Normal, adult, ponies are the same height as Alrik's nipples from the floor. Yeah, I thought about his nipples, cuz I am too perverse to let my own characters go unviolated.