• Published 10th Mar 2014
  • 2,026 Views, 64 Comments

How Equestria Was Made - Feo Takahari

Two sisters find an empty snow globe. At a touch, it fills with light and life--but darkness lurks within it as well . . .

  • ...

The New Era

Almost a thousand years after Luna was banished, a little pink pony silently pulled a cart full of rocks through a barren field. The magical energies in the ground created valuable crystal spirals inside the rocks, and she’d spent her whole foalhood helping her parents with the farming. In her own way, she was happy with the work--at least, she’d never considered doing anything else.

“Annie?” a soft voice asked.

The pink filly turned to find a white pegasus mare behind her, bearing a cutie mark of a rising sun. The foal hastily bowed, then realized this couldn’t be Princess Celestia--she didn’t have a horn, and there was no color in her mane. But how had she snuck up on her so quietly?

The filly knew she ought to say something. “Um, my name’s Pinkamena. What’s yours?”

“I’m Polly,” the mare said. “I’m looking for my sister.”

“I don’t think I know her,” Pinkamena admitted.

“You have to,” Polly said. “There’s something special about your soul. It’s shaped like a pony’s, but it’s not a pony soul.”

Pinkamena backed away from the crazy pony, but Polly was faster, and she laid a hoof on the filly’s head. Pinkamena went rigid, staring straight at Polly. She spoke, but the words were not her own.

-- -- -- --

Sis, I think I might be dying. I’m not gonna tell you what happened--I owe you that much. All you need to know is that it’s not your fault, and that I’m sorry.

If I really die here, I think Equestria will die, too. But everyone says you can’t die in your dreams. If that’s right, you need to listen. You need to let me go.

I made this world. It had everything I wanted and everything I was scared of. That’s why it was full of monsters. That’s why so many ponies died. To make a new Equestria, I had to stop being afraid. And fear was part of me, so I couldn’t be me anymore.

Equestria’s at peace now, isn’t it? There aren’t heroes. There aren’t adventures. And there isn’t real evil, either. There’s just a pony or a griffon or a diamond dog who’s happy to work all day. And when she dies, she’ll be born again in another body, and she’ll keep working forever. It’s not the Equestria I wanted, but at least it’s one where ponies won’t be hurt anymore.

Back when I was at my old school, I told the teacher Danny Winters was bullying me. She said she knew. But his parents gave the school a lot of money, and she was afraid to punish him. So she let him hurt one "snotty little brat"--me. I was the sacrifice then, and now I get to be one again. Maybe that’s what I was born to do, like a pony with a cross for a cutie mark.

I’m gone, Sis. You can’t bring me back. Please don’t bring sadness back into Equestria. Just go, and leave this thing here--this thing that used to be me.

-- -- -- --

Pinkamena’s eyes focused again, and she stared at the older mare. “Did you want anything else?”

“Yes,” Polly said. “There are a lot of things I want.” Her voice was oddly steady, like there was something she was trying very hard not to show.

“You should ask Mom and Dad,” Pinkamena said. “They’re the ones who sell the crystals.”

Polly spread her wings and flew away. Pinkamena didn’t watch her leave. She still had rocks to move.

-- -- -- --

On a distant cloud, three young pegasi with something to prove stood side by side and prepared to race.

The one in the middle was nothing special--a bully like any other, his thick brown mane not long enough to hide the cruel glint in his eyes. He smirked at the filly on his right. “You’re going down.”

The little blue filly was a bit more remarkable. Her mane was many-colored, patterned like a rainbow, and together with her sky-colored coat, she seemed like a creature of wind and water droplets. Her stance, too, was different, more practiced than the others. And of course, her confidence would have spoken for itself if she hadn’t been so willing to speak on its behalf. “In history, maybe!”

The flag lowered, and they were off.

The colorful pegasus took the lead at first, smiling gleefully at the wind in her mane. She’d never flown this fast before, but she made each turn with absolute precision. There was no way she would lose this race.

Then the bully rammed her, and she began to fall. She spiraled, unable to regain control--

Time stopped, and the little pegasus hung in the air like a fly in amber.

What’s your name, little pony? a motherly voice asked.

The foal tried to look for whoever was talking, but she couldn’t move. She could still think, though, and her thoughts seemed to carry. I’m Rainbow Dash. Who are you? What the hay is going on?

My name is Polly, the voice said. Ponies used to worship me, but I’m not a god, not really. I’m just someone who wants to make a better world, and I want to ask you to help me.

I’m not going to sell you my soul, Dash thought.

Polly laughed. That’s not what I meant. It frustrates you to live in a world where nothing ever happens. I want to make Equestria less boring. I want there to be adventure again, and I think you could be a hero. It’s not a trick, I promise--this world is happy, and I’m not gonna make it sad--but it feels incomplete, and I want to fill in the last piece.

Why? Dash asked. Are you bored, too?

I just want to help my sister, Polly said. Nothing more.

Dash tried to smile, but she was still frozen. Family loyalty. I like it. I’ll help you.

There’s one more thing I’d like to ask, the voice said. Please don’t tell anypony about me. I don’t want to be remembered.

Before Dash could respond, time restarted, and she felt herself speed up. A wave of air built in front of her, then exploded in every color of light.

-- -- -- --

Polly didn’t say a word when she woke up on the attic floor. She just looked into the snow globe, staring at the world spinning inside it. Annie was still down there. Her brilliant little sister who loved bats and moonlight and ponies was going to live forever in a place where she could be happy and safe. She would never remember the world she came from. She would never remember Polly . . .

Polly lay on the attic floor and cried. Then she hid the snow globe back under the floorboards, and she never touched it again.

When her parents asked if she knew where Annie was, she lied and said she had no idea. But she did her best to comfort them in their time of grief, as they did their best to comfort her.

-- -- -- --

A little pink farm filly saw a rainbow in the sky, and in more ways than one, light came into her life.

A unicorn who might never have amounted to anything felt a surge of energy, and she cast a spell so powerful even Celestia noticed it.

Countless others were guided in subtler ways. Some might have followed a similar path without it. Others saw adventures that would otherwise have passed them by. All were in some way changed by the experience.

Villains, too, were affected by the light. On the moon, the Nightmare woke, and she considered how best to return. In the Canterlot gardens, a hideous statue of a patchwork creature began to think and plan. But they were not the monsters they’d been in Annie’s era, and for the first time since they’d been fashioned, they had a chance at redemption.

Heroism returned to the world. Laughter returned as well. Creation was at last complete.

And that’s how the new Equestria was made.

Author's Note:

This story was edited by Rakni and Razalon.

I’ll be doing a blog post later about what this story means to me--nothing necessary or revelatory, just a bit of commentary.

Edit: Blog post up.

Comments ( 29 )

Well, it's finally over. It was a pleasure to work with you, miss. :raritywink:

A very nice ending to a wonderful story. Thank you for it.

After reading the afterword blog, I have to say that the inspiring concept didn't come across all that well. You could've spent a bit more time spent before the rainboom, underscoring the mundanity and meaninglessness of Equestria as it then was.
On the other hand, that may well be the point. The narrative skipped over the intervening millennium because nothing worth mentioning happened. Hmm...
Yeah, this is why I don't usually offer much criticism. :derpytongue2:

In any case, thank you again for an excellent story of Equestria's formation. I'm following you henceforth.

Won't lie. I got chills rinow.

Soooo... what happens when someone else in the human world finds this snowglobe... or breaks it?

And where the heck did it even come from?

The girls, not even the older one, ever really question what the heck is going on nor how it's happening? The characters completely ignore any natural train of conscious thought and consternation any normal person would feel upon encounting such an otherworldly powerful artifact.

Well-deserved EQD Feature. Would read again. :raritywink:

can i fall over now

Oh man...I wanna hug this story so much right now. :pinkiesad2:

Why aren't there more stories like this?

These stories are so…how do I put it? Mind-bending. Not forcedly dark or gritty like some of them, but still so tragic. :applecry: It's as if this might really have gone on behind the scenes this while time, and it actually makes quite a bit of sense. Not only that, but it's how two lonely kids really would have acted if they were accidentally thrust into a situation like that. Beautiful. :fluttershysad:

Very very nice.

Grandma Mimsy?
Like in "Mimsy Were the Borogoves", that was a neat story too.

I cried a little at the end. I didn't expect Annie to be reincarnated as Pinkie Pie, but everything makes sense now. Polly giving Rainbow Dash the power of the Sonic Rainboom (which was mentioned earlier in the story) was truly spectacular, and with your story it makes sense how when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were asking Pinkie Pie to tell them how she got her Cutie Mark, she ended her story saying "and that's how Equestria was made". This story puts so much into perspective, and I have to say I am happy that I read this story.

I will read this again, and that's rare for me to want to read a story multiple times like this.

Well, they're rife with devastation
but there's a simple explanation
They are human girls' creations
trapped inside a clear glass ball

I've gotta stop this.

Oh my god, the feels! :raritycry:

This story is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Especially the ending... my gosh. Liquid pride has definitely been shed on this very day that I read this story. From the very beginning for Polly and Annie's story, to Annie's memorable sacrifice, this story was just amazing. :fluttercry: Going in my absolute favorites, for sure.

Hello sir and or ma'am Takahari. Your story has been accepted into TGB, you known where the decision is. Go and read it if you like, I hope Haphazred doesn't get on me for not having enough substance. I kinda rushed... Anyway go ahead and read if you'd like

Author Interviewer

hah oh shit ;_;

My mind was incinerated.

Absolutely brilliant.

okay scuse me while I just
*distant crying*

Oh. My. God. That was EXCELLENT!

First I was like - :rainbowderp:

Then I was like - :fluttercry:

Normally I avoid Tragedy stories because I don't like how they bring me down. This one was an accident because I saw that it was an Equestria Origin Story with an interesting premice but forgot to check the tags...

I'm not really regretting reading it, but... :raritycry:

6512801 You're the first one to notice. I'm impressed. (But did you catch the secondary meaning?)

4348220 Well, they were, like, 12 and 8 or something when they first found it, so... no.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to react to the story.


6535668 I constantly forget that by 8, I had already achieved a level of conscious thought attained by few even in adulthood. :ajsmug:

Were I capable of achieving this much depth, poignancy, and power within the span of fifteen thousand...


Gorgeous, and sad. Thank you.

If you haven't read God Game by Andrew Greeley, you might find it interesting on a similar topic.


This is a such great little story. And feels like a proper fairy tail too.
Engaging writing, interesting characters and fresh take on the Equestria's world as a whole.
I guess I am only slightly disappointed by Luna's and Celestia's origin, which, true, is a surprise, but I think this is just a plot-twist for a sake of plot-twist, rather than what would... feel right.
Anyway, definitely a recommended read.

I reviewed this here, but in brief: fascinating reading, with remarkable world-building; great to see a story go beyond the usual "oh, they're Tia and Luna" stuff. Not a huge fan personally of the end of Annie's tale, but I can see why you wrote it like that. Also, lovely final scene. Can't say I love this, but I'm impressed nevertheless. Upvoted.

I know I'm a little late on this, but I finished reading this story about a month ago and it's really stuck with me, since. I absolutely love the folk-tale interludes, the structure, the very believable relationship and dialogue between the two protagonists, and how well you tied everything together in the end with the big reveal and the climax of the story. I just want wanted to post here and thank the author: I think this is one of my absolute favorite stories I've ever read on this site.

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