• Member Since 17th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2018

FLUTTERPIEROXS


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Fluttershy has liked Pinkie Pie for a long time especially after how Pinkie helped her when they were heading towards the dragon. When this blooms into love will it tear apart the mane six's friendship. Or is it all a plot to destroy harmony.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 39 )

Pinkie and Fluttershy? Interesting *goes to read*

Lovin' this story so far :pinkiehappy:

A few grammar mistakes but nothing that spoils the story for me

Can't wait 'til the next chapter comes out! :twilightsmile:
Liked and tracked.

Hmm... Interesting. I demand moar!

Also you might benefit from a prereader or a more uh assertive commenter. There are some grammar and punctuation issues. But that doesn't detract from the promising story :)

Thank you all so much! Please ignore the mistakes i willl try to go and fix them. And a special thanks to serchbrony who was an excelent prereader through my 4 rewrites of the 1st chapter. Chapter 2 will be done soon please continue your support!

Huh, PinkieShy..Don't see a lot of those. Tracking out of interest.

It's pretty good. The only thing I'd advise is to not repeat the same word over and over, such as when you say ''x person did that, x person then did that, then x person did ....'' etc. you should try to change ''x'' to something different. There's a part of five lines of text, where you have the word 'Fluttershy' featuring four times. You could replace it with, for example: ''the yellow coated pegasus''.

Just some advice, that's all.

:fluttershysad::pinkiehappy:

This is sso cute keep going !:pinkiehappy::yay:

This is sso cute keep going !:pinkiehappy::yay:You shouldread venus rising here on fan fiction ... Its intresting its in the fluttershy archeive too :scootangel:

Thanks to every pony who has and will read this and thank you for the comments i will do my best to include them. This is my first time actually writing a story and with out Serch to tell me alot of what is wrong with it this story would suck. Please contunue to tell me when there is something wrong. Hopefully i will get better at this and do the story justice.


Sorry for the misspellings in the comments when i do them i have been using a suckish keyboard

I Like what you have so far. As the others have said, there are just spelling and grammatical mistakes that need to be fixed. I would point some of them out to you but I am too tired and busy at the moment to go through and do that. but other than those mistakes you have a pretty decent start. Keep up the good work! :pinkiehappy: :yay:

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382534
I'd like to congratulate my sister for the release of the first chapter. I'm her prereader, editor, and sometimes the guy who helps her when she has writers block, Serch. If you have any editing suggestions send them my way ,and I'll be sure that this becomes a clean piece of work when I edit . I've been working with my sister on this since it was called Otopie (It was originally an Otoman, my sis's favorite manga, crossover) ,and I've helped her so she could make this story one of her best works.
To the guy who noticed the repeat of words, thanks for the advice, I'll keep her to it in the future. (Also you should have seen the first 3 or 4 drafts. No kidding, the word gushing was used 7 times in one paragraph)
To those who point out grammatical errors, point me to them so in later chapters we can ensure the best quality writing in the future (this is not to be mean, I really want this to be a great story so I want it at it's best)

Okay ya'll. Just edited Chapter 2 and i must say... It is great. Chapter 3 is written it just needs to be read, then thrown on the floor by me. Then I'll tell my sister how horrible it is. Then she'll rewrite it ,and the process will repeat. Then i'll edit one last time ,and it will be up. (That is our process)

That is so true and here is chapter 2 that will be up as soon as i am done typing!:applejackunsure::raritystarry:

Went on the site today and nearly has a heartattack from FIM ficks idea of a joke thought my account was hacked.

P.s. if y'all notice the use of the word Pegasi instead of Pegasus that is because I'm a person who likes to remain mythologically correct. In Greek mythology their was only one Pegasus , a winged horse is a descendent of his and is correctly called, no matter what plurality or lack of, a Pegasi.:derpytongue2:

Chapter 2 is finaly up! sorry it took so long got a bad grade due to my horrible grammar made me get grounded. I am not very fond of this chapter due to all of the talking (im not very good with parts like that). Serch liked it though so im trusting him here he knows when something is good or not. Sorry about the excessive use of the word Rarity it even annoyed me while typing i have a very hard time changing it though it just feels ackward to me. I'll get better please forgive me.:fluttercry:

Oh god, who in their right mind would dare break a Pinkie Promise?!?!?!

Ok this is not realy the best that ive done but i did all i could with it sorry if you didn't like it. I am having major brain farts all over this story.
Ok so while trying to update these are the things ive learned
1. Serch doesn't listen
you can have all of the insitful conversation you want he will even help you with the characters that you should never use (he stoped me from including one and told me to make something up) but after he is done talking he will ignore you and forget the main plot alowing your brain farts to rampage the story until something important comes along.
2. This needs a sequel
as much as i dont like it when people move plots of their story this time it is needed. At the end of the story there will be a major loose end that i could fix but will not because i want to write more about it without makeing this story rediculously long. That and it would be rather off topic. The loose end does corespond with the main plot but i dont want to spam and i think the main plot is mainly resoved by then. Plus this story is going to be long enough. If you want an update on that after the story just keep this in your faves and ill post a blog about it or leave a comment at the end.

If you read this long you are increadable! Thank you!

Eeeekkk lack of coments is scaring me (my mind is repetively teling me that its because this chapters bad.) What is going on out there!:pinkiecrazy:

This is a really good story. I'm looking forward to seeing more. Faved and watched. :pinkiehappy:

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OMG... When my sister saw you post she freaked. Your PinkieShy series is partially (The other part being me as the person introducing her to fan fic and ponies and editing her work (kind of) ) the inspiration for her beginning to write this story. Thank you for reading, my sister is very excited that you think it's good, also keep up the good work on your serieses.

579442

It's great to see new stories, especially PinkieShy, come up, and it's even nicer to be a small part of the inspiration to write. It means a lot to me, and I'm really enjoying the story.

Your sister has set the potential for comic gold with the camping trip. More so now that Rainbow is suspecting Fluttershy's feelings.

On a side, really minor I promise, I hope to have the next chapter for PinkieShy up really soon. I hope to make huge progress this weekend. :yay:

580450
Yeah my sister is getting really good at coming up with new plots. Originally i was helping her with characterization, story progression, and I wrote about 2-3 sentences (for comedy and flow) between chapters 1-2, but at this point she's able to do that on her own. Now it's just switched to me checking her spelling and major grammatical errors, except for her new stories that is, but the only reason i'm helping her with characters is because i make a small cameo in the third chapter of it. As for the story all I know is that something really cool pertaining to the plot (I wasn't even sure this story had a plot until my sister kept reminding me that it does (Read her comment)) but beyond that I'm not sure at all what's going to happen. (To be honest i don't think she's sure either unless she has already wrote the draft. She knows her final outcome and some plot points. Other than that she needs to feel in the details).

580622
YES THERE IS A PLOT!!!!!
I know where i want to go with the story and the end serch!!!!:heart:

580625
I said that you know where your going. How your getting there is totally a mystery to both of us I'm sure.

580629
Yup got an idea for the camping and what comes after though but I know a basic idea of what happens after that. Afterwards the plot kicks in.:heart::heart:

580634
Wait there's a plot?
Why wasn't I told about this?
We had all those meetings and this never came up.
:yay:

Oh there is one thing that i forgot to mention.
Somehow part of the plot has become cannon. I figured that out when i watched the bridal episode. Made me go what in the world.:rainbowderp: So yup what i made up had somehow entered the ponyverse (yes i am a nerd it means universe to those who do not speak nerd)

HUZZAH NEW CHAPTER
Im probably going to rewrite the ending at some point. I have so much trouble writing rainbow dash.
The camping trip will most likely last 3 chapters each focusing on a main point in the story or just at the time.

Yay for a new chapter! It's nice that Pinkie's singing calms Fluttershy. :yay:

879486
The ending actually confused me.... Partially because i don't get the plot. :derpytongue2:

901877
because you dont listen and im not telling you now mainly because if i do i know you will post it. (i dont give spoilers)

th01.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2012/218/d/2/fluttershy_and_pinkie_pie__sweet_kiss_by_kennyklent-d589gc4.png

>Cute together
>A Yin and Yang combination of personalities
>Friendship and love that goes way past looks or coolness
>Both make people smile with delight

BEST COUPLE EVER!

Love this, keep 'em coming!

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