• Member Since 7th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 26th, 2015

misskitkat


This account is no longer in use, but I will still keep it up.

E
Source

Soarin finally realizes his feelings for a certain pegasus.

[My first MLP fanfiction and trying to get into the fandom more. Feel free to leave suggestions, comments, or criticism! Thank you all so much.
Marked as incomplete for now because I'm not sure if anyone would want me to continue.]

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 37 )

I'd be that person who want's you to continue, please!

I love it, I tell you! I LOVE IT!:pinkiehappy:

4049803

Oh gosh, you do?? Thank you so much!

Nice job with this story. I can't wait for the next chapter.

4049828

Thank you. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with something good!

Good for you for writing your very first fanfic! There's no way to do it well other than to do it, and it takes guts to put it out there!

If you don't actually mind a tiny bit of concrit you can use, not something to make you feel bad, try this. Go for being specific. For example, Soarin remembers watching other male Wonderbolts talking to Dash and feeling jealous. How about thinking of a particular time, with a particular stallion? Was there anything that particularly irked him? Was the other guy just a little too handsome and show too many teeth? Does he know for a fact that he talks like that to all the fillies? Is she in love with somepony else, and if so, who? What does the spice of rainbows smell like? You could imagine each color having a particular spice scent, and think about how they all smell combined. Smell is really good, by the way, and it was smart to pick it, because it's so individual. Does she remind him of pie? Seriously, does she? Does one of those rainbow colors smell a bit like clove or cinnamon? Is she better than pie?

Plus, of course, she saved his life. That's got to be huge for him.

Anyway, word salad, I know, but I wouldn't say anything if I didn't think you were onto something nice. You keep going! Have a Dash for good luck. :rainbowkiss:

4049928

I'll be sure to keep all of that in mind when I decide to write more! Thanks a bunch for all the helpful tips, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

I like it. I'll leave some more in-depth thoughts later.

Not bad for your first story. I'll give you an in-depth review once it's complete.

I love this!!!! Write more!!!!:rainbowkiss:

This is a cool start to the story:heart::derpytongue2::trollestia::moustache::twilightsmile::heart:

Love it! :twilightsmile:

Love it! :twilightsmile:

4092207 her color looks like a really faded out cyan tho

4132178
Yes, I am! At least, I hope so. I've just been super busy lately, but I'm already planning a new chapter.

Please write more I love this story It is awesome and adorable I think I spelled that right.

I love this!
PLEASE CONTINUE, DEAR SIR...or ma'am?

do continue this story :twilightsmile:

Keep going!!:flutteryay:

OMG PLEASE WRITE MORE! (Though here's a tip: maybe you should make Soarin sound more confident, outgoing, and goofy.) Fleetfoot can be funny, Spitfire, probably more serious, and ole' Dashie over confident and etc. :):yay:

Yup,this story is dead......or NOT?

I like it plzz continue ok!? Plz plz plzz :rainbowkiss: :yay:

More! MORE!MORE! MORE!

(ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE) : BY THE MANE OF CELESTIA, POWERS OF LUNA, LOVE OF CADENCE, BRAIN OF TWILIGHT, AND BEARD OF DISCORD, I COMMAND THEE TO CONTINUE!!!

(normal volume) : please....

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!