• Published 7th Mar 2014
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The Conversion Bureau: Setting Things Right - kildeez



When a portal to another world appears outside Canterlot, the ponies' initial reaction is of enthusiasm, hoping to greet these strange aliens with open hooves. Too bad this world was already visited by another Equestria...

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Chapter XLII: Capture

“What’s going on, Princess?”

Celestia didn’t look away from the tent flap. She and the tall, dark-skinned man with the cloth on his head had kept steely glares on the tent’s entrance since the initial attack. There was a glint of silver in the corner of her eye, and she spared a glance to see the long, curved blade sliding into his hand. She kept him in her periphery as she turned and shook her head.

“I don’t know...” she finally said. Her horn ignited to summon the shield that had saved them both not too long ago, but she blinked in surprise as all she got were a few weak sparks. The man turned to her, also surprised.

“T-Tachyon Inhibitors?” He gasped, followed by a long string of words in his native tongue that probably translated to a lot of cursing. The olive-skinned man poked his head in from outside, apparently attracted by his teammate’s cursing.

“Tachyon Inhibitors.” Was all the dark-skinned man said.

The olive-skinned man took a moment to realize the significance of this, then he swallowed, looking over to Celestia. “They’re here for her.”

“Yes.” He stood, ushering his partner inside. “But we cannot let them get her.

“They’ll have the front of the camp covered by now, the only way we get out of this alive is to fight...I think I saw a small ammo dump the other Smurfs were setting up.”

The dark-skinned man turned to him, seemed to process for a second. “How far?”

“Other side of camp, maybe five – ten minutes if we run.”

“If we run...” the dark-skinned man looked at her, his eyes calculating. Celestia met his gaze, then stood, wings tucking in against her barrel, inclining her head towards the flap.

“Don’t look around. Don’t stop for anything. Don’t do anything but run.” He said.

Celestia nodded.

“I mean it: there will likely be many people hurt out there. They could very easily be traps. You must ignore them and keep running.”

“I...” she swallowed. Doing nothing while someone was in danger went against everything she held dear, but if this man was going to risk himself to save her, she had no right to put him in even more danger. “I will try.”

He nodded once, then shuffled out of the tent, keeping his head low. The olive-skinned man did the same. Celestia looked to Twilight, who gave her a nod back, but kept her face in that screwed-up half-tremble they both knew she did when she was just trying to put on a brave face. With a smile and a quick nuzzle, Celestia crawled out of the tent, emulating the humans as best she could. Outside, the tent city had grown eerily silent. An errant breeze whipped loose fabric around, a tent flap nearby waving a bit in the wind. One of the big-tired military vehicles sat in the middle of the dirt path, empty, it’s side scorched from the explosion. The olive-skinned man pointed. Celestia let out a breath. This would be it.

They crept towards the vehicle, heads down, sticking to the side of the path. It almost felt ludicrous: there was no cover here, nothing they could do would make them less visible, even the mud and dirt on her flanks would do little to hide her pure-white coat. Yet here they were, crawling around in this stupid little exercise in futility. They were sitting ducks, and somehow, she saw the humans knew it too.

A cry filled the air, someone saying something in the native language. She folded her ears down, an icy feeling filling her chest. The cry cut off suddenly as they made it to the first destination. Cowering down as they stopped to rest behind the vehicle, she suddenly felt very small. Smaller than she’d felt in centuries. She looked around at the others, fanning a wing over Twilight's whithers, if only to feel like she was doing something.

“Anything from here to there?” The brown-skinned man asked.

The olive-skinned man crouched as he slowly peeked around the corner, and cursed under his breath. “Nothing...just flat road for another hundred meters, then a street we have to cross.”

The brown-skinned man huffed, almost as if he were out of breath, but he focused back on the princess with a look that informed her they were going to make it, didn’t matter if the universe was against them, they were not going to fall short. Simple as that. “We’ll have to run it, simple as that.”

Twilight shivered in Celestia’s grip, but nodded. “We can run.” Celestia said, giving a perfect little smile practiced through centuries of diplomatic overtures.

“Okay...” the brown-skinned man started breathing heavily, his eyes igniting as he turned back, but the olive-skinned raised a hand as they gazed out, towards the squat, cinder-block building just outside the gates.

Celestia squinted. Something was moving in a window. She strained her eyes, thought she could make out one of those blue UN helmets...was it…

A smile crossed her face as hope, real hope, blossomed in her heart. “A soldier! One of them is still here!” She gasped at the small figure in blue waving to them from the grimy panel window.

“Well, that’s a comfort.” The brown-skinned man looked back and smiled at her, the raw edge he’d been working up within himself suddenly relaxing to a sort of tensed ease. “Hopefully, him waving means we’re covered. Keep low, still.”

Celestia allowed a tiny swallow, and nodded as her wing retreated from Twilight’s body. “Stay close, she whispered to the smaller princess, who nodded in return.

“Okay...” the olive-skinned man inhaled. Exhaled. “Go.”

They kept hunched, moving, legs all pumping as fast as they could. Celestia forced her head up, eyes swiveling for the faintest hint of motion. Was that shadow a gunman creeping into position, or was it just being cast by a tent flap waving in the wind? What about that mound? Did she really see the barrel of a gun rushing out of sight behind it?

Don’t. Freaking yourself out, filly. Keep running. Keep pushing.

She almost cried out in relief when the dirt road gave way to that gray stone. They were most of the way there. Here, she allowed her gaze to lock in on the front of the window. The soldier was...still waving at them. Not moving. Still, that smile on his face was a friendly welcome, it almost seemed like he was inviting her in for tea. They picked up the pace. She poured more speed into her movements, her wings twisting behind her to scoop up Twilight as she broke into a gallop, feeling a certain security at the mare’s weight on her back. Up ahead, the humans had broken into a dead sprint, not even looking back as the building’s door drew near. Twenty meters. Now fifteen. Ten. Five…

Even as she reached for the handle and slammed it down under her hoof, time seemed to slow down. She was so close to safety, but a single shot from a gunman she missed could make it all for naught. Her hoof gripped the handle. Twisted. She leaned her weight in. The door wasn’t budging. The door wasn’t budging. The door wasn’t...

The door flew open and the group scrambled inside. She twisted. “Close i--” she needn’t have bothered, as the olive-skinned man whirled around to boot the thing shut. She let out a laugh. “Thank goodness...” she sighed.

“We made it.” The olive-skinned man chortled as he looked up. “We--”

As he looked up, he paused. His eyes widened. One look at that face made Celestia’s blood run cold, though it nearly stopped running completely when that familiar ch-chnk! sounded behind her. Slowly, surely, she turned. The UN soldier stood there, the corner of his mouth quivering and his eyes shining in the dimming light. Three men surrounded him, one pressing an AR to his spine while the other two leveled pistols on the newcomers.

“Oh...” she whispered, suddenly feeling very small again.


He really should have known better. Akshat should have known things were looking a little too good for him. As the man in the UN helmet stumbled towards the group, shoved by one of the gunmen, he cursed himself. Of course it was a trap, fucking of course! A child would’ve seen it! But he’d let his guard down, he’d been playing the part of a civvie so long clearly some part of him had actually believed it. And now look where that got him.

He caught the UN soldier, who trembled in his grasp as the trio of gunmen leveled their rifles on the group. He couldn’t help a slight trembled in his shoulders, staring down the barrels of those guns. The one on the far right took a step back, kicking a duffel bag into view.

“Open that.” He commanded from behind the sights of his weapon.

Eyes locked on him the entire time, Akshat stooped and unzipped the bag. Inside, he found a small ring with barbs coating the interior and a large, heavy collar attached to a chain that could only fit one being in the room. His hands started to sweat.

“Put them on her,” the gunman barked.

Letting out a breath, Akshat slowly stood with the objects in his hands. He fought to keep his breathing even. The princess’s lip trembled, but she closed her eyes, bowing her head for him to reach her horn. Even then he almost had to go up on the balls of his feet to reach, but he got the suppressor over the tip with ease, and then it slid down with only a few momentary pauses as it clamped on. “Further.” The gunman commanded.

Akshat pressed down, cupping both his hands around the ring, putting his weight behind it until Celestia even stumbled back. “Th-that’s it!” He said. “It will not go anymore!”

There was a loud click, and something cold and metal pressed against the back of his head. He could feel it through his turban. For a second, he wasn’t a man standing in a room surrounded by madmen and terrorists, but a little boy running through his village, chasing after a soccer ball as dust caked itself all over his shorts and legs. This was it, he believed. Clearly here was where he died. Then the man stood back, and his foot tapping the dirty tile was like a beacon that brought Akshat back into the present day.

“Now the collar.” The gunman commanded.

Without hesitating, Akshat scooped up the collar. This was easier, as it simply hinged open and had a little hoop for a padlock, already perfectly fitted for the princess’s long, slender neck. As he latched it shut and bent to scoop up a padlock from the bag, a tremble went up his arm from the neck in his grasp.

He stood up again, holding the padlock up, moving slowly to keep from making any sudden moves and making sure his hands were in sight as much as possible. Still, as he brought his hands around to hook the shackle of the lock into the hasp of the collar, he laid his one hand on her. She paused, and her massive, vermillion eyes turned to meet his. Letting in a calming breath, he nodded to her. Her breathing slowly spaced out, evening itself until she closed her eyes and nodded. He felt a twinge of hurt then: those eyes had been the loveliest he’d ever gazed into.

Shaking it off, he quickly clenched the padlock in his grasp. The click as the shackle locked shut seemed loud enough to drown out everything else in the room. He figured if the gunmen had wanted to kill him right then and there, it would have drowned out even the gunshots. But instead, there was the clomp of shoes on tile again. He tensed, preparing for that awful feeling of death pressing up against the back of his skull again, but it never came. Instead, he could feel it hovering a few inches from his back as the gunman reached around him for the princess’s new leash.

He debated attacking just then. This close, there was a chance he could spin around, disarm the bastard and kill the others with this guy’s rifle. But he looked up into the princess’s vermillion eyes again, now open and shimmering with fear. His gaze darted around her to Chen, who seemed focused on the floor, not even glancing up. No. Too risky. These guys might be leading them all off elsewhere, their odds of survival would be better during a transfer than attacking unarmed and hoping to win before they could let off a shot.

The gunman stepped back, and the princess stumbled forward, the chain leash rattling and clinking as he dragged her along. He led her towards the back door as the other two kept their weapons trained on the group. For her part, the princess still stepped regally, her head held high, but someone who knew what they were looking for could still see the tremble in her royal hoofsteps. It made Akshat’s stomach turn to see that kind of fear, perfectly masked as it was.

“You lot are gonna follow,” the gunman explained, still leading the princess out the back while motioning to the three humans and pony that remained. “Any sudden movements, you die.”

Staring down the barrels of the other two gunmen, Akshat didn’t doubt it, not even a little bit.

The group stepped carefully, the UN soldier trembling and needing to almost be carried by Chen at his side. Feet trembled as they passed the gunmen, who did their part by making sure their barrels never even wavered. Twilight still remained as close to Celestia as possible, trailing narrowly behind her, following as they were all ushered out the door to a back alleyway, where a truck idled.

A man with graying hair peered out of the truck, and he flashed a grin of yellowed teeth so large, Akshat wouldn’t have had trouble believing his intention was to eat the ponies. “Gotcha, you cunt,” he hissed, also in English, Akshat noticed. American accents all around. “You white-faced whore, we gotcha.”

Celestia didn’t respond, only keeping her head up as she stepped regally into the truck, needing to bow her head slightly to accommodate her horn. The old man laughed a little more as another man, this one clearly Japanese, stepped out from the darkness in the truck. His cold gaze narrowed on the princess as she was led back. There was a click, and her chain suddenly went taut. They tied her off,” Akshat realized, his nostrils flaring. They tied her off like a dog!

“Well then, missy,” the old man spat, still with that predatory grin. Fuck, Akshat wished he’d lose the grin. “Looks like we’re on top this time around, and you get to hang out in the bottom.”

Celestia just stared straight ahead, her face a neutral mask, even as Twilight tried to clamber up into the truck after her. She turned in surprise, however, when the old man held up a hand.

“Sorry, missy,” the old man said, his grin finally turning to a little scowl. “Royal guests only.”

“B-but…” Twilight babbled. “I-I’m royalty!”

That seemed to throw the old man for a loop. He paused, looking her up and down appraisingly, as if seeing her wings for the first time. Then, his look darkened. “Nice try, but this whore would never share power with someone,” he hissed, raising his boot. “Now, do you need help to get out, or…”

“No, wait!” Twilight insisted, hanging near one of Celestia’s hindlegs. “Wait, I can…”

“Twilight!”

Wings flaring in surprise, Twilight turned to Celestia, who craned her head around to gaze at her. They locked eyes for a moment, studying each other as if to remember everything about how they looked, every little detail about one another. Finally, Celestia shook her head. Sucking in a breath, Twilight nodded back, then slowly turned and stepped out of the truck with trembling hooves.

She did a good job holding back the tears as she stepped out onto the pavement. It was only when the engine revved and the truck pulled away that the first streams of them dribbled down her cheeks and onto the ground. Akshat admired her then. She seemed to be keeping in mind the gunmen still surrounding them, even then, with a pony obviously special to her being hauled off in chains.

Watching the truck round a corner, the sound of its engine drifting away amidst the twisted ruins of buildings, Akshat could focus on the gunmen remaining. Just two in all. He closed his eyes. Of course they left so little behind. They were just a couple harmless diplomats and a depowered pony princess, right? Just a couple of harmless diplomats.

He rolled his wrists, felt the blades strapped there. Just the two: not as many knives on him as he’d had in London, but hopefully enough to get the job done. He felt his breath even out. He just needed that perfect opening.

As the truck’s engine faded away, the two gunmen casually turned back to their prisoners. “Well, that settles that. Time to end this.”

Akshat’s stomach twisted. The pony gasped, ears darting up. “Wait, what!?”

“Sorry all, war is war and all that,” the other gunman said as both lowered their rifles, holding them at hip level. They stood at opposite sides of the alleyway.

Dammit, he could take out one, but he’d have to depend on a knife throw for the other, at that distance it would be tricky…

The UN soldier let out a frightened sob, “Wait!” He gasped. “You don’t have to do this!”

“Yeah,” the gunman worked the bolt on his weapon. “We do.”

“Hey,” the man right in front of Akshat turned to his buddy. His thighs tensed. “Should we split ‘em down the middle? I take the two on the left, you take the two on the right?”

“Not fair!” The other man said, turning to glare at the first man with a petulant look, like a kid hearing his brother’s first suggestion for a sharing schedule on the RC car they both got for Christmas. Akshat braced his feet and let out a breath. “That gives you the pony! You know I’ve always wanted t’get one of those technicolor freaks!”

“Well, I have too! C’mon man, that’s half the reason I signed up!”

“And it’s the whole reason I signed up!”

Akshat’s feet left the ground. A blade sang into his hand.

The gunman started to turn, his eyes bulging in surprise. The rifle started to rise in his grasp. Akshat batted it away with his free hand. One lunge, the knife was in the gunman’s throat. He twisted with his body. Arterial spray gushed out, misted over his face, making him blink. The gunman blinked in surprise as Akshat turned, free hand going for the gun…

He mistimed it. His hand clasped around air. Gasping in surprise, he twisted. “Chen! Run for—

Arm rising as the other knife slid into his palm in a last, desperate bid to defend himself from the other gunman, Akshat turned, and there was a volley of shots. He grunted, bracing for the pain of impact. He’d had plenty of close calls before, but he’d never actually been shot. Was this what it was like? Did it start with you not even feeling anything? He hadn’t thought so, but maybe it was different for everyone. He’d been intent on throwing his last knife as his final act in the realm of the living, but thankfully, he paused.

Chen was just taking a step back, the rifle upside down in his hands, the other gunman just crumpling to the ground, face blank from the angry bulletholes blooming in his chest and throat from his own weapon. Chen stepped back, sank to one knee in a practiced motion and twisted to fire in Akshat’s direction. The first round plinked into the brickwork where the other gunman had been standing before he stopped himself. His eyes widened.

“Akshat?”

“Chen?”

“…where in fuck’s name did you learn to do that? Where did you get knives!?”

“I…uh…maybe same place you learned Krav Maga?”

Chen sucked in a breath. “It’s…Junshi Sanda…actually…”

Akshat nodded. A bit of blood ran down his sleeve.

Twilight, for her part, managed to look suitably betrayed, combined with her wide, shocked eyes. “I thought you said you were just diplomats!” She gasped.

“Yes…” Akshat said. “Yes, we did.”

A few more seconds passed, and Chen thudded a fist against his chest. “Black belt, third degree. Chinese special forces.”

After a moment, Akshat nodded and thudded his own chest. “Para SF.

“Indian Army Special Forces?”

Akshat nodded.

Yet another moment passed. “Huh…” Chen managed.

“And...you were specifically told not to talk about it per your contract too, I take it?” Akshat added.

“Yes.”

“...somebody has a lot of explaining to do.” He looked out over the burning ruins of the city. “Think the others…?”

“No doubt. For right now though, we must find them.” Chen gave a thin smile. “Strength in numbers.”

Akshat nodded again, still looking dazed. The pair started back into the UN office first, not even gazing back as Twilight brought up the rear, stumbling in after them. “We need…” she started, still looking half-dazed.

“To return to the others,” Akshat completed for her, smiling as he watched a column of familiar, but now heavily-armed, people walking up the street. “Everything else will fall into place from there.”

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