• Published 26th Mar 2012
  • 31,753 Views, 6,397 Comments

Blue Angel - V-Pony



A Blue Angels pilot is saved from a fiery crash by a most unexpected savior

  • ...
145
 6,397
 31,753

PreviousChapters Next
Inseptium Nova-Pt 4: Trix Are For Kids...

September 12th, The Gilded Griffon...Midnight...
--------------------------
"Friends are the angels that lift us up when our wings have forgotten how to fly..."
-Source Unknown
--------------------------

“Whoa, Trixie!?” Bon-Bon cried in shock at the arrival of the enraged magician; she hadn’t been seen in town in over a year and of all the places for her to show up, it just had to be her place of business! “What in the hay’s going on?”

Trixie stomped into the restaurant with an abject fury evident on her face, so much so that the siblings Ray and Jill involuntarily dove under the table across the aisle before the blue Unicorn’s vision could adjust to the darkened room. As she did so, Volare struggled to turn his head to see what the hell was going on, but he couldn’t move. Luckily, Vinyl had the presence of mind to lift his face off the dusty floor and try to pull him into the relative safety of her booth along with Octavia, who made it a point to grab her teacup before she ducked down too. As the DJ sat him up, he was finally able to take in the fury of the self-proclaimed greatest magician in Equestria.

“I’m looking for two cohorts of mine, so you’d all better just stay the hell out of this!” Trixie snarled. “Ray, Jill, I followed your stink here, so where the buck did you go, huh?!” Trixie growled. The pupils of her eyes were dilated in a crazed manner, and the muscles of her face were twitching ever so often as she scanned the room, breath coming in short angry snorts as she did so. To just about anypony in the room, the normally composed showmare seemed completely out of her mind. As Volare had learned about himself on accident, any pony could be a force to be reckoned with when they were this angry and unhinged…unfortunately for them all, Trixie wasn’t exactly a garden-variety Unicorn; she was head and shoulders above everypony else in the room combined save for Ray and Jill, and this made the situation tedious, to say the least.

“Well, you can’t just come in here and start breaking stuff, no matter how mad you-jeez!" Lyra began before Trixie shot a blast of red sparks past her ear, causing her to duck into the nearest booth and Bon-Bon to jump behind the bar. Whoa, when did she learn how to do that?!

“Buck off!” the Unicorn shouted, returning back to searching for the Unicorn siblings who’d robbed her blind.

“Ray, what do we do?” Jill hissed in worry. “Blast her?”

“No, we can’t right now,” her brother replied. “The Boss said not to cause a scene and if we do that, there’ll be questions…and then we’ll need to cause another scene to get outta town. In short, if we don’t get caught by the Guard or attacked by the Element Holders, the Boss’ll skin us alive for blowing our cover.”

“Come out you little thieves!” Trixie bellowed, kicking over a chair in anger.

“So what do we do, Ray!?” The green-maned female cried.

“I-I dunno, just stay down, sis!” her brother shook his head.

“Hey, she’s pissed at you guys!” Volare shouted at the two hiding siblings. “Show yourselves already and stop her!”

“Buck you, man!” Ray growled. “We’re just healers; whatcha want us to do?!”

“Bullshit!” the Pegasus shot back.

“I’m gonna tear this place apart until I find you two!” Trixie shrieked and tossed a stool over into the next aisle as she got closer. “I’ll teach you to poison me, steal my money, and leave me lost in the woods. ‘Oh yes, great Trixie, those berries are safe’-steaming roadapples!” she ranted and kicked a table over, spittle flying from her mouth as she spoke. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through!? I had no food, no water, and got chased by Timberwolves for two days! I had to eat bloody pinecones to survive! I swear to Celestia, I’ll show you the pain of eating those things by cramming a few dozen right up your”-

“Look, if all you’re going to do is break stuff, I’m gonna have to ask you to”- Bon-Bon interrupted before ducking down as Trixie picked up a potted plant with her magic and hurled it at the Earth Pony, shattering ceramic and dirt all over the bar. Volare had seen about enough of this crap! He wasn’t about to defend the two ponies who’d tried to murder him twice now, but if they weren’t going to own up, he certainly wasn’t about to sit by and watch Bon-Bon and Lyra’s restaurant get trashed like this! And if Trixie already had a beef against them, he had an idea of how he could kill a few birds with one stone…

“Hey Trixie!” Volare shouted, drawing the attention of the furious Unicorn. “How about I tell you where your ‘friends’ are, you do what you gotta do outside, and leave us out of this! We’ve got no quarrel with you yet, and I think we’d all like to keep it that way. So whadya say?” To his surprise, the expression of anger on Trixie’s face changed…but what it changed to really worried him.

“Hmm, an interesting proposition,” the magician’s mouth curled into a smile as she stopped less than six feet away from the Pegasus to consider his proposal. “Where are those two?”

“Don’t you dare!” Ray hissed angrily at Volare, but he had no pity on his attempted murderers and probably kidnappers if Trixie hadn’t broken the door down. “Our Boss will”-

“To hell with your ‘boss’, whether it be Trixie or somepony else; this has got nothing to do with us here,” Volare spat and nodded towards the pair with his head. “They’re right under there, Trixie. Now take them and get lost already!”

“Heh-heh, thank you…what was your name?” Trixie gave him a predatory grin.

“Volare,” Jill growled, the name stopping the blue Unicorn in her tracks and causing her to stare at Jill in disbelief. “Yeah, that’s right. The very Pegasus from Earth we’ve been tracking all this time for you. Didn’t you want to catch him so you could learn Earth’s secrets from him?” At her words, the magician smirked at the pilot in pleasantly surprised mirth.

“Jill, shut it!” Ray snapped before catching his sister’s hoof in the eye. “You’re gonna blow it,” he rubbed his face and whispered into her ear from behind bared teeth.

“We’re already screwed,” Jill hissed back. “I’m making a distraction to get us outta here. If she takes him, she’ll be to blame, not us! As soon as she leaves town, we’ll burn her to cinders and then we’ll take the human to the Boss. No loose ends.”

“Aha, I get it now,” Ray nodded and smiled, looking back up at Trixie. “Yeah, that’s right, Trixie. There he is right in front of you! So, you don’t need us anymore, right? We’re not worth your time now! So go get him yourself and take the glory!” He insisted with the largest used-car-salesman grin he could possibly muster.

“You know, that’s probably the smartest thing that’s ever passed out of your stench-filled mouth, Ray,” Trixie smiled nastily. “You’re right; I don’t need you two anymore…but don’t think this is over! When I find out the secrets of Earth’s magicians and become the most powerful Unicorn in all of Equestria, be sure that I’ll have more money than I'll know what to do with...but more importantly, know that I'll find you,” she loomed over the two siblings. “And when I do…I’ll have my revenge on you little sneak-thieves. You can be sure of that!” And with that, she grabbed the table with her magic and crashed it down upon the siblings before they had a chance to move, leaving them somewhat stunned and rather compacted. She then turned back to Volare and Co.

“Ahem, now then,” the magician said with a bit more self-control, though from this distance, the group of ponies could see that the pupils of her eyes were very dilated and it seemed that every other muscle in her face was experiencing the tics. “Volare, you’ve got knowledge that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, deserve to have in order to be the best! So, you’re going to come with me; we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” she announced with a leer.

“What knowledge do you want, huh?” Volare asked as he tried to scoot further into the booth, but only managed to fall backwards against Vinyl’s shoulder. “Why don’t you just ask me right here?”

“Hrm, never thought of that,” Trixie mused for a moment before shaking her head. “But if these fools hear the secrets of Earth’s greatest magicians, then I won’t be at an advantage, now will I? Nope, you’re coming with me right now,” her horn began to glow and Volare felt that same sort of tingling feeling surrounding his body like when Twilight and Lyra had carried him with their magic. But instead of feeling warm, this felt cold; ice cold and unfriendly.

“Wait a sec, Trixie!” the Pegasus protested as he felt himself jerked out of Vinyl’s hooves and hovered over the others before being pulled closer to the blue magician. At the same time, Trixie shoved Vinyl backwards over the seat and into the next booth, landing on Octavia’s cello-case with a loud bass-toned crash, leaving the DJ stunned. “You’re making a huge mistake!”

“Oh, how so?” the Unicorn grinned as magical ropes shot from her horn and wrapped tightly around the Pegasus, pinning his wings and hooves close to his body and constricting his chest’s ability to fully expand and breathe. Dammit, now he really couldn’t move! “Are you saying I don’t know what I’m doing?!” she snapped as the ropes tied themselves in intricate knots before she began to hover him towards the door.

“No, not like that at all!” Volare insisted with wide, sincere eyes. “I don’t know who the hell told you about Earth’s magicians, but you’re badly misinformed! The truth is, there is no real-mmmppphh!!” the Pegasus tried to shout through the cloth gag that had poofed out of midair and muzzled him, but it was no use! This crazy bitch was seriously just going to walk on outta here with him, there was no telling what the hell she was planning on doing, and there was nothing he could do about it!!!

Lyra looked out from around the booth and assessed the situation, making a rough calculation of the distance between herself and the front door before making eye contact with the DJ who was rubbing her aching forehead with a groan.

“Vinyl, ready to do something stupid?” Lyra grinned, harkening back to the older days when she and the DJ had done…well, stupid things. Vinyl caught her nod towards the high-stepping magician and returned the grin with one of her own before reaching for her saddle-bags.

“Ready when you are, LH!”

“Follow my lead!” the green Unicorn winked before galloping into the kitchen as fast as her hooves would carry her.

“H-hey, bring him back here this instant!” Bon-Bon shouted over the bar, but barely dodged another blast of red sparks from Trixie that shattered a large number of liquor bottles lining the wall. When the hell did she get so good?! Bon-Bon muttered to herself as she could only watch helplessly while their friend was hauled towards the door; they couldn’t hope to fight Trixie when she was enraged and focused like this!

“Heh, remember Jill,” Ray smirked as they crawled under the tables towards the back door of the building, intent on trailing Trixie out of town before finally shutting her ‘holier-than-thou’ mouth for good. “As soon as she gets into the open, we claim our prize.”

“And then it’ll be us making the demands, and not the Boss anymore, hee-hee,” his sister hoofed him in the shoulder as they neared the back door. But just as they and Trixie reached for their respective doors, a golden object surrounded in a light-green glow came whirling out of the kitchen, arced across the room with a strange humming noise, and caught Trixie completely by surprise, knocking her hat clean off her head across the room. The magician whirled in time to see the object boomerang back over the room and return to the hoof of the mint-green Unicorn crouched on top of the bar who’d thrown it in the first place. Lyra Heartstring’s golden eyes lit up as she caught the curved object, which in fact had been her own lyre she’d brought as an afterthought tonight.

“Aww darn, I missed,” she smirked as she as cocked her hoof back to hurl it again. “I was aiming for your face! Now drop Volare before I give it another go, Trixie!” Ray and Jill looked on in surprise before deciding that watching their haughty former employer getting her flank handed to her for a bit might be fairly entertaining, and they took a seat by the door to watch with amused grins.

"10 bits says Trixie gets embarrassed just like she deserves," Jill smirked, setting her bits down in front of her brother.

"Well, I say 15 bits on those four getting pulverized," Ray replied, plunking the money on the table and watching the action unfold.

“Green Freak!” the magician spat with a snarl. “How dare you assault the Great and Powerful”-

“Pffft, Great and Powerful, she says,” Lyra laughed loudly, drawing a questioning glance from Bon-Bon. “BB, get over near Volare,” she said out of the corner of her mouth.

“Are you crazy?!” The Earth Pony hissed back. “She’ll blast me through the wall before I even get close!”

“Not if she’s distracted,” Lyra winked. “Yeah, that’s right, you heard me, little mare blue!” the lyrist snickered at the flustered showmare, who’d completely turned to face the Unicorn she loathed nearly as much as Twilight Sparkle. “Come on, ya wannabe magician! You got anything in there besides balloon animals and sparks, or are ya all washed up and ready to retire to doing filly’s birthday parties?”

“Damn you, Lyra! I’ll show you just how Great and Powerful I’ve become!” Trixie shot a blast of brilliant blue sparks towards the green Unicorn, who coolly side-stepped them while grinning.

“Get going, Bon-Bon,” the golden eyed Unicorn whispered and looked across the aisle at Vinyl, who had finally found what she was looking for in her bag. The DJ gave Lyra a nod before sliding under the table and making her way towards the front door. “Octy, do something!” she called to the cellist, who’d popped out from under the table and was examining her teacup for cracks.

“Come now Lyra, you know a lady doesn’t get involved in such bafoonery,” she shook her grey-maned head matter-of-factly. "Besides, you seem to have the matter in hoof."

“Argh, gimme a break, Octy-whoa!” Lyra barely managed to dodge another blast of magic, this time white with yellow flames, that sizzled past her and crashed into the back wall, exploding more bottles in a shower of whiskey and bourbon.

“Agh, my good booze,” Bon-Bon whimpered to herself as she ducked down and snuck along the adjacent aisle, keeping her head down under the level of the booth-backs until she was even with the front door.

“Meh, it’s insured, right?” Lyra waved a hoof before cocking her hoof back, threatening to hurl her lyre again. “Hey Trixie!~”

“What!?” the infuriated Unicorn shouted back, not sure why she was even engaging in banter with her foe in the first place.

“Missed me again, bitch!” Lyra stuck her tongue out and blew a loud raspberry, completely distracting the magician who sat Volare down in a booth and gathered her magical energy over her horn in preparation of blasting Lyra to kingdom come! Over the past year, Trixie had devoted herself to learning a little more than just stage magic, and this particular trick was a spell she’d taken the past year to learn, and as far as destruction magic went, it was the one of the most powerful she knew. It wasn’t nearly on the same level as Twilight’s magic, but then again, neither was Lyra Heartstrings; being as powerful as her number one rival wouldn’t be necessary to win tonight!

“Dodge this!” Trixie roared and unleashed a bright blue ball of energy from her horn that crackled with lightning as it flew through the air, flaring her tattered cape behind her, and sending unlit candles and objects flying from the walls as it neared Lyra.

“Oh buck…” the mint-green Unicorn groaned; she might have pushed Trixie just a little too far. Lyra dove to the side just as the spell struck the spot where she’d been standing, exploding in a blast of lightning and heat that blew a sizeable chunk out of the oak wood bar and scorched the tip of Lyra’s tail. “Whew, that was too close,” she muttered as she leaned up on her elbows and shot an infuriating grin towards Trixie, who was breathing rather hard in exertion. “You need to work on your aim there, dead-eye!”

“Oh to Tartarus with all of you!” the magician threw her head back in frustration and turned back to the door…but somepony was standing there and blocking her way: it was Vinyl Scratch, and she’d had the presence of mind to slam the door shut and throw the large wooden latch across the lock to slow Trixie down. “Get out of the way, fool, before I make you part of the door!”

“Can’t let ya do that, Trix,” the DJ grinned, holding something behind her back in a hoof. “Volare’s our pal, and you’d better let him go, or else.”

“Or else what?” the blue magician spat. “You gonna stop me all by yourself?”

“Not exactly,” Vinyl smiled cheekily and produced the object she’d been hiding from behind her back: it was her speaker box. Volare had enough time to see what was about to happen before toppling back into the booth and doing his best to shield his ears in the seat cushion. Lyra and Octavia quickly followed suit. “Say hello to my little friend!”

“Little friend?” Trixie cocked her head at the sight of the small box, not knowing enough about it to realize that the volume dial had been cranked to 11. “Who’s your little friend, huh?” she demanded.

“Eddie…Eddie Van Halen,” Vinyl dropped her shades over her eyes and tapped the black sphere hanging around her neck before reaching for the little red switch on the box and playing one of the songs that Volare had allowed her to record that evening.

“Who the buck is Eddie Van-AGH!!!! SWEET CELESTIA IN HEAVEN!!!!” Trixie squeezed her eyes shut and shrieked as the blast of notes from Eruption cascaded on top of her, knocking her back into the restaurant and causing numerous light fixtures around her to spontaneously combust under the tsunami of Eddie’s legendary guitarwork. “Make it stop, make it stop!” the magician shouted, blindly shooting magic in pain and anger in an attempt to end that cacophony of noise!

"YAHAHAHAHA!!! Eat rock n roll, sucka!" Vinyl Scratch laughed maniacally, the sound somehow carrying over the sounds of shredding guitar, the sparks from the popping light fixtures reflecting in her shades as if she were back on the stage in some rave, blowing minds left and right. Oh well, better do my best to entertain my audience of one, she thought as she twisted the volume dial past 11, nearly breaking it off in her hoof and causing Trixie to redouble her efforts to stop the noise and preserve her ear drums and sanity.

"You crazy bitch!!" Trixie shrieked, sparks flying wildly every which way as she fired off spell after spell in what she believed to be the general direction of the front door, the occasional spell smashing through the front windows and igniting bushes that lined the street in the process. This was absolutely insane!

“Bon-Bon, now!” Lyra shouted to her friend. The Earth Pony reached a hoof over the edge of the booth, grabbed the ropes binding Volare, and yanked him over onto her side before carrying him quickly towards the bar while Trixie was stunned by the sound. Bon-Bon groaned in misery, watching helplessly as the sounds blasting from Vinyl’s speaker box proceeded to send airborne anything not bolted to the floor. As she reached the bar with Volare in tow, she pulled the gag from his mouth and proceeded to fiddle with the ropes, but the knots were well-tied and very tight!

"Holy shit, when did you guys learn how to do this stuff?!" Volare couldn't help letting the question escape his mouth, and Bon-Bon regarded him with a strange look before returning to the knots.

"Don't judge a book by it's cover, honey," she smiled and gnawed at a knot. "We can be tough when we're fighting for our friends...just wish we didn't have to be this damn tough," she bemoaned the loss of her good liquor for another moment before the music abruptly ceased in an explosion of static, leaving the air ringing with the sound of sudden silence as Trixie connected with a lucky spell, blasting the speakerbox out of Vinyl's hooves and up into the rafters.

"Aww man, that thing's expensive, Trix-ow, lemme go!!" Vinyl swung her hooves as Trixie grabbed the DJ by the mane with her magic and lifted her into the air, glaring into her eyes in rage with her own dilated, glassy ones.

"Not as expensive as the surgery is going to be to put your face back together, you damned-AGH!" Trixie dropped Vinyl and grabbed the back of her head in pain as Lyra's lyre went zipping across the room and finally found its mark. Vinyl Scratch scrambled to her hooves and galloped towards the back of the restaurant, vaulting over the bar when she reached it and shooting Volare a crooked grin before peeping back over the bar.

"I've had about enough of this damn thing!" Trixie roared as she snatched the spinning lyre out of mid-air before turning to face its owner. "C'mere, Green Freak, and I'll show ya a place to put this where the sun won't shine!"

"Uh-oh" Lyra muttered before giving Trixie an awkward wave and leaping behind the relative safety of the bar, where the other four ponies save Octavia were huddled, barely escaping her own lyre which whirled over her head and clattered into the kitchen.

"Haha, ready to lose your bet, sis?" Ray snickered, shoving Jill in the shoulder as she pounded the table with a hoof.

"Come on Trixie, I got money riding on this, ya useless magician!" Jill shouted before ducking the sparks the blue Unicorn sent her way.

"Shut it, Jill-wait, is that my money you've got there?!" Trixie snarled. "Well, no matter; I'll take it out of your worthless hides when I become the most powerful uni-"

"Yeah, yeah, save it," Vinyl tossed a dish at the magician, hitting her in the hoof and making her hop in pain. "Oh crap!" A fresh barrage of spells rained down around the bar as Trixie flew into an even greater rage, firing magic with wild abandon all over the back wall of the building.

"What the hell's gotten into her?!" Volare managed to shout; he didn't remember Trixie being this damn psychotic in the show!

"I dunno, she's fighting like a madpony possessed!" Lyra replied, peeping over the bar and grimacing as the magician blasted a table to splinters in anger.

"Or like she's totally whacked out of her mind," Vinyl mused before a possibility occurred to her...Trixie's eyes were...oh buck... "Hey Ray, Jill! You two still alive out there?" she called out.

"Yeah, what about it, ya idiot DJ?" Jill shouted back in a belittling tone.

"Trixie said you guys tried to poison her! What the hay was she-dammit-talking about-jeez!" Vinyl covered her head and shielded Volare's sprawled form as a large liquor bottle above them shattered.

"Oh, that," the green-maned mared laughed. "It wasn't anything special; just a little something to keep her wandering in the woods longer and make her an easier target for wild animals, heh-heh."

"What was it, you crazy bitch?!" the DJ demanded with worry; that glassy look in Trixie's eyes had sent a shudder through her bones...and she'd seen it before.

"Just a little nightshade we mixed into her coffee," Jill replied, chuckling as Trixie started tearing apart the menus sitting on the tables, filling the air with shredded paper. Somehow, throughout all this, Octavia was remaining relatively calm, and had even poured herself another cup of tea not ten feet away from the raging Unicorn magician.

"What kinda coffee!?" Vinyl cried, thoroughly confusing everypony else. "What in the burning hay was in the coffee, you idiot?!"

"Uh, sassafras root, why? What's the big deal?" Ray called back, causing Vinyl to groan extremely loudly.

"You gotta be bucking kidding me, man!" the DJ shouted and buried her face in her hooves for a moment before Volare spoke up.

"Vinyl, what's up? What's wrong?" the blue-maned Unicorn lifted her shades, revealing eyes filled with dread. "Vinyl?"

"Come outta there!" Trixie roared, throwing the menus over the bar in an explosion of paper that filled the air like the dust of some distant battlefield.

"Ok, don't ask me how I know or anything," the DJ began with a sheepish grin. "But I've seen that glassy, detached look in ponies' faces at my concerts, and...well..."

"Oh, spit it out already Vinyl!" Bon-Bon cried, damning herself as she hurled flatware at Trixie; at least those wouldn't break. It wasn't until the magician began catching the forks and spoons that she realized she'd just given their foe ammunition. "Uh-oh..."

"Ok, nightshade is a hallucinogen and sassafras is a hell of an upper when cooked, and they just dropped some of all of that into her coffee," Vinyl explained as Trixie gathered the flatware into a large cloud of incoming pain.

"So what're you saying; that Trixie is basically coked up and literally outta her mind?!" Volare cried in shock.

"Ecstasied up, to be more exact...but like I said, not that I know in person, ya hear?" Vinyl shook her head.

"You stupid bastards!!!" Volare shouted at Ray and Jill as he finally caught sight of the flatware cloud floating above the magician. "You've just murdered all of us!!!" And with that, Trixie launched the forks and spoons all over the bar like a rain of arrows, forcing the four ponies behind it to press against the wooden bar for protection as the sharp tableware pierced the remaining glass bottles and picture frames behind the bar, sending even more glass flying every which way. But as the metal rain finally ceased and they all realized that they were still alive somehow, the sight of them peeping over the bar to see where Trixie had gone only managed to enrage the magician even further.

"Argh, you cowards!!!" Trixie grabbed Volare's wheelchair and hefted it above her head with her magic, grinning like a crazed maniac. "If you won't come out, then stay where you are so I can crush you!!" Thinking quickly, Bon-Bon scrambled into the kitchen, grabbing for the nearest weighty object to throw at the magician while she was pre-occupied; that nearest object turned out to be her precious floor broom. With a heavy sigh and a gentle caress of its burnt bristles, she turned with determination, took aim, and hurled the broom handle-first through the air like a javelin.

Straight across the restaurant the broomstick flew, aimed dead at the maddened Trixie's chest. But just as Bon-Bon was sure it would strike her, the magician caught sight of it and merely plucked it out of the air with her magic, tossing it onto the nearest table with a snort of something like boredom. "That was a good try, Bon-Bon, but you never were very good at this sort of thing...now die!!" And with that, she hurled the wheelchair over the bar, forcing its shelterers to scatter; Vinyl to the left, Lyra holding Volare diving to the right and landing right in the line of sight of Trixie.

"Well, that looks to be a wrap, Jill," Ray smirked.

"Meh, screw you," his sister grumbled and slid her bits over as Trixie grabbed Volare, re-gagged him when he tried to bite her, and hoisted her onto her back without hesitation, heading for the door with a triumphant grin and ignoring the shouts of dismay and protest from the ponies behind her. It wasn't until Vinyl hurled a parting gift-another plate-that struck the magician right in the flank and caused her to jump in a mortified fashion so that Trixie finally turned and regarded her foes with a cold glare.

"When next you see me, you'll think twice before tangling with me, you fools!" she sneered. "But for now, cower and await my return like the slime you are, for I am Great and Powerful," she turned towards the door. "And you are nothing in comparison." She fired a final spell blindly over her shoulder as she headed for the door...but that would turn out to be a fateful mistake as the lone sound of shattering china emanated from the table at which Octavia was seated.

Everypony save Trixie turned and beheld Octavia holding the broken remains of her favorite teacup in her shaking hoof. The shaking ceased as she gripped the still-intact handle tighter and tighter until it too shattered into dust. The cellist shook the table as she slammed her hoof down in anger and stood upright with a low growl directed towards the retreating Trixie. "Uh-oh," Vinyl muttered as she saw her friend's stance and heard her growl; a noise completely counter to anything Volare had thought could ever come out of the cellist's mouth.

"What's 'uh-oh'?" Bon-Bon called from the kitchen doorway. "What could possibly be a bigger 'uh-oh' than what's happening here, Vinyl!?" It was then that she too noticed Octavia's stance: hooves akimbo, breath coming in short, angry snorts, her attention focused completely on Trixie.

"If there's something I've learned about Octy in the years we've lived together, it's that you never interrupt her tea," the DJ explained with a small shudder. "I did one time...and it didn't end well...and I didn't even come close to touching her favorite teacup. And our dear 'friend' Trixie just blew it to pieces." As she spoke, Octavia, as upset as she obviously was, still managed to compose herself enough to reach over the edge of her booth and unlock her cello case, pulling a dark object from it. Sometimes, all it took was a single grain of sand to tip the scale...and start a long-restrained avalanche. "Jeez, everypony, you guys might wanna get down...and I don't mean dance..."

As Trixie reached the front door and gave a short laugh of triumph, a long, narrow piece of wood and steel whistled past her hoof and buried itself in the door latch, pinning the door firmly shut as evidenced by the magician's futile attempts to tug it open. She regarded the object coldly only to realize that it was a cello bow! She turned to berate the pony who'd dared to do such a thing but paused when she caught sight of the pair of lavender eyes shining in the semi-darkness of the restaurant; they smoldered with a barely-contained anger that sent a chill down even the self-righteous magician's spine. Even so, she wasn't about to back down that easily; besides, with the front door stuck, she'd have to go for the back door...right past the incensed cellist.

"Oh, what, now you're in on the act?!" Trixie laughed haughtily as she strode towards the grey mare, setting Volare down as she did so. "Just who in the hoof do you think you are, huh?" She was so fixated on her new foe that she didn't even notice Lyra sneak down the aisle and snatch Volare with a barely suppressed chuckle of yoink, carrying him back to the bar with a cat-that-stole-the-canary-grin on her face. Octavia noticed and gave the smallest of smiles before returning her fierce gaze to Trixie.

"My name is Octavia Melody," she said slowly, reaching back into her cello case with both hooves. "You threatened my friends and blew up my teacup," she growled as she pulled two more cello bows from the case with a grin. "Prepare to die!" she snarled in a very un-ladylike fashion, gripping a cello bow in either hoof as she adopted a high-sixte/low septime stance, balancing on her back hooves as she did so. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_lines_in_Fencing.png

"You've gotta be joking!" Trixie cried, looking for Volare only to see that he was gone again! "Oh come on, gimme a break!" Trixie spat in frustration.

"I think my bet's alive and well, Ray," Jill shoved her brother and leaned across the table to watch.

"Volare, are you alright?" Octavia glanced over her shoulder towards her friends.

"Yeah, I'm good!" he called back, the gag having been removed yet again.

"Kick her flank, Octy!!" Vinyl whooped and pumped her hoof wildly before smiling down at Volare. "Heh, my pal's a mare of many talents to say the least; I seriously doubt ol Trixie knows that she's facing off against the reigning fencing champ of Canterlot four years running right now," she snickered with anticipation.

"Volare, can I ask you a quick favor before I dispose of this rubbish," Octavia spoke up again, keeping an eye on the seething magician. She hadn't simply been sipping her tea this whole time; she'd been studying how Trixie fought, and as frustrated as the blue Unicorn was, if the cellist could keep calm and get in close, it might level the playing field...still, it was a longshot, and she knew it. "Would you be so kind as to give me some music worthy of a duel like this; I'd be much obliged."

"Is she serious?" Volare asked in surprise, receiving a light smack from Vinyl.

"Yeah, she is; she uses the music to focus and keep her rhythm," the DJ insisted. "She always plays music when she fences; it's like she draws strength from it, so play something! Anything!"

"Uh, right, right," the pilot nodded, focusing on the most-fitting piece of music his mind jumped to, and praying that in the chaos of the situation, Vinyl wouldn't ask any questions about any weird images she might see. "Coming right up, Octy!" The slightly-damaged speaker box sitting in the rafters crackled to life, spilling its music down onto the two combatants.

"Ah, thank you," Octavia nodded as the fast-paced orchestral music washed over her, calming her nerves and focusing her thoughts on the conflict at hoof; she intended to take down this madpony if it was the last thing she did! She raised her cello bows in a short salute... For my friends...for my teacup...for my honor! "En Garde, Trixie!" And with that, she bounded towards her opponent, cello bows flashing brightly in the moonlight that trickled through the front windows. Trixie sent a quick blast of sparks at her rapidly-closing opponent, but the cellist deftly side-stepped the blast, leaving her within spitting distance of her foe. In desperation, Trixie grabbed the only object she could find on such short notice to defend herself with, lifting it with her magic just in time to block the double strikes of Octavia's cello bows. Baring her teeth in a growl, the mage pushed back against the mare, knocking her back several feet before swinging her weapon in wild abandon, trying to smash the cellist's head in.

"Oh come on!" Bon-Bon moaned as she caught sight of what Trixie was using to defend herself: it was her good (slightly burnt but still good, dammit!) broom. "I swear Octavia, if you ruin my broom, so help me, I'll-mmmmph!!" she cried, her voice muffled by Lyra's hoof.

"Don't break her concentration, dammit!" Vinyl commanded, watching in awe as her friend bounded off of booths, tables, and chairs, using the strength that she'd built up over the years of lugging around her heavy cello. Throughout it all, her expression never wavered from the fierce grin rarely seen by anypony save Vinyl and those at the Canterlot fencing club. She was always attacking, never retreating, allowing the fury she had for her foe to drive Trixie backwards and into a corner of the room. The cellist rained down blow after blow onto the broom, threatening to crack it and break through Trixie's defenses. The Unicorn sensed this and in desperation, shot sparks onto the bristles of the broom, igniting it and shoving the burning brand towards Octavia's face.

"Hah, about a little fire, Octavia?" Trixie cackled, whirling the burning broom and setting the menu pieces that circled lazily through the air aflame, lending a rather hellish air to their fight. Octavia parried and riposted again and again, but it was clear that Trixie was beginning to realize that her attacks were following the rhythm of the music pouring down on them; not to mention that her defensive position in the corner combined with the drugs coursing through the Unicorn's system had lent her an unnatural energy that even Octavia's efficient hoofwork and strikes couldn't overcome. Even so, the grey cellist pushed the attack as her friends cheered her on, intent on ending this now, even past the point when one of her cello bows snapped, leaving her with only a single weapon.

She quickly retreated, feinting as she went, trying to goad Trixie away from the corner of the room. The bait worked, and the Unicorn followed, swinging the burning broom in wide strokes, the blistering heat singing Octavia's mane with every swing. With a cry of triumph, the magician suddenly smashed the broom downwards at the cellist, who barely had time to block the attack with her remaining cello bow. The impact shattered the bow and knocked her to her knees, sending her skidding away across the warped floorboards and stopping adjacent to her cello case once again.

"Hahahahaha! Once again, you see that I'm the greatest Unicorn there is and ever will be!" Trixie cackled as she moved in for the final stroke, the fire from the broom reflecting darkly in her wide, glassy eyes. To say that the terrifying sight of her would have made the Wicked Witch of the West crap her pants in sheer inadequacy might have been an understatement at this point. Octavia grimaced at the pain in her hooves and looked from the drug-addled magician to her friends, giving them a grim smile.

"Get out, all of you," the cellist coughed, reaching for her cello case as she rose to her hooves. "I'll hold her off while you run and get the authorities!"

"Fat chance, Octy!" Lyra shouted and ran into the kitchen, grabbing her bent-up lyre and a steel ladle nearly as long as her fore-leg. She bounded back into the room and stood side-by-side with the cellist, shooting her friend a confident smile before turning to face Trixie as well. "We ain't leavin' ya behind, pal!"

At this display of bravery, something welled up from deep within Volare, and a somewhat familiar feeling between his shoulder-blades and ribcage strained at the ropes binding him as he shouted encouragement to his friends. "You can do it, guys! Take it to her!!!"

"Right!" Octavia gave a determined nod and smiled as she threw open her cello case and hefted the large wooden instrument from inside of it. "Old friend," she murmured to the cello that she'd owned and played for nearly a two decades. She ran her hoof lovingly along the intricately-carved maple face of the stringed behemoth, reminiscing over the concerts she'd played it at, the friends she'd played it for...and now, the friends she'd use it for... "You've served me well, as you did my mother, and her mother before her...now serve me and my friends this one last time! Play your final symphony with honor!!" With a cry of fury, she hefted the heavy instrument onto her shoulder, gripping the neck in both hooves like a massive club as she charged Trixie, briefly stunning everypony in the room before Lyra came to her senses.

"Yaaaaa!!!" She hurled her lyre and brandished the ladle like a sword as she bounded forward as well, the weapons of the musicians and magician meeting in a great cacophony of sound and fury the likes of which Ponyville had never seen before!

"I hate to ask this," Volare shouted over the fracas on the other side of the bar as Bon-Bon fiddled with his restraints while Vinyl continued to shout encouragement. "But can this get any frickin' crazier?!"
------------------------------------

Sugarcube Corner, Upper Loft...

"Hmmmmm-huh?" Pinkie Pie mumbled, having just slipped back off to sleep. But now, for some reason, her nose itched. As she yawned and reached up to rub her itchy muzzle, however, her forehoof began to twitch again. The pastry chef shot wide awake and stared at her hoof for a long, long moment, to the point that the itch on her her nose became so urgent she just had to make it her priority! But when she finally decided to scratch it, her hoof jerked again, nearly whacking herself in the face. "Whoa, that was-W-W-W-W-WHOAA!!!!" Pinkie cried in alarm as her whole body jerked and shook so violently that it quite literally tossing itself out of her bed with a loud thump!

"What the hay, Pinkie?" Scootaloo sat up in bed in alarm, looking down with sleepy eyes as the pink mare attempted to regain her hooves despite the twitching and shaking of her limbs. Once she finally did, she grinned sheepishly at the orange Pegasus filly and trotted to the window; something was drawing her towards it. And as she peeked through the blinds, she bore witness to one of the craziest things she'd seen in years (no small feat considering this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about here!).
Down the street, she could see the bushes outside of the Gilded Griffon Cafe ablaze with flames, the smoke curling up from them rising high into the moonlit sky. But that wasn't the crazy thing she saw, nor was it the distant pops and explosions of sparks that emanated from the building. Nope, it was the sight of what looked like a cello being blasted through the roof of the building in a great flash of blue and white light that rivaled Luna's moon in sheer brilliance for an instant.

Pinkie had to rub her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming, but sure enough, there on top of the roof was a cello, and if she listened hard enough, she could have sworn she heard the sounds of orchestral music mixed with Vinyl's wub style fading into the night. "Pinkie, what's up?" Scootaloo yawned hugely, as she tugged at the mare's puffy tail. Pinkie hastily closed the blinds and shot the filly another disarming smile before picking her up and setting her back on her bed.

"Now, Scoots, don't you worry," she crooned as she tucked the Pegasus back in. "It's just Auntie Pinkie's Senses getting a little wonky, that's all."

"What're they saying?" the filly asked, knowing full well the power of the Pinkie Sense wasn't one to be taken lightly.

"Well, have you ever had an urge for a midnight snack?"

"You're hungry?" Scootaloo cocked her head.

"Nope, but I am hankering for a midnight jog, so you just sit tight and I'll be back in two shakes," she shook her tail in emphasis with a giggle and headed for the door...the closet door to be exact.

"Hey, wait a second Pinkie," Scootaloo called as the mare opened the closet. "The exit door's that way," she pointed at the stairs.

"Silly filly, if I go that way, I'll wake everypony up," Pinkie grinned. "Now you just settle down for sleep and I'll see ya later, k?" And with that, she shut herself in the closet. Scootaloo sat there stunned for a beat before hopping out of bed and yanking the closet door open...but Pinkie was gone!

"Um, Pinkie?" the filly eyeballed the scant racks of clothes and stacks of empty cake delivery boxes, but the Element of Laughter was nowhere to be found; it was like she'd disappeared or something! "Dude, Pinkie, where'd you go?! Ugh, what a random pony!" Scootaloo shook her head in disbelief and yawned again. To hay with it...let Pinkie go and do...whatever the hay it was she needed to do... She climbed back into bed and began to drift off to sleep again, her last thoughts before entering dreamland of her big brother Volare, and how she hoped he was doing ok all alone in that dark, lonely hospital bed without her to keep him company...or keep his flank safe from the baddies...
--------------------------

Lyra groaned from her position upside down and underneath Octavia, staring dazedly at the hole that her friend's cello had made through the roof of the building as Trixie had snatched it from her grasp and magically blasted it through the ceiling, shattering Vinyl's speakerbox in a shower of sparks as well and ceasing the music. She'd then picked up Lyra and Octavia, tossing them bodily into the far corner of the room and knocking Bon-Bon and Vinyl onto their flanks in tangle of hooves and manes. "Hey Bon-Bon...remember how you wanted that skylight? Eh-heh-heh," Lyra mumbled woozily, trying to uncross her eyes. "Good try there, Octy."

"Oof, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped," the cellist shook the ringing from her ears, wanting to bemoan the loss of her beloved instrument, but knowing that now wasn't the time. "Where's Volare?!"

"Ugh, there," Bon-Bon pointed a hoof at the pilot being hauled away by the seemingly unstoppable force that was Trixie.

"Looks like I win," Ray chuckled. "Pay up, Jill!"

"Gah, fine," his sister grudgingly slid her small pile of bits over to Ray with a growl of disgust. "Jeez, took her long enough. We still stickin' to the plan?"

"Yep, as soon as she leaves town, Volare is ours, Trixie's dead, and nopony's the wiser."

"Heh, too bad we can't get the Boss to hire her; she's pretty tough," the mare observed.

"Meh, that's only cuz she's drugged six ways past Sunday," Ray snickered as he tossed his coins into his bit bag, appreciating the jingle they made as they hit the other coins. "In any case, the Boss doesn't have any use for mad-dogs, and neither do we."

"Lemme go ya crazy bitch!" Volare shouted, thrashing as best as he could in the magical grip of the magician, but Trixie had re-tightened the ropes with a vengeance and had hoisted him back onto her back, headed for the front door instead of the back door. "Listen to me, you're making a huge mistake here!"

"I'll have plenty to listen to later, cuz you're gonna have plenty to tell me, Volare!" He saw what Vinyl was saying about her eyes as she leered at him and threw her head back with a laugh at his fallen and battered friends. "You all fought well, but as you can see, you just couldn't best me. And the next time you see me, I'll truly be Great and Powerful!" With a mighty tug on Octavia's cello bow, she ripped it, along with the majority of the latch itself, clear off the door, clearing the last obstacle to her escape. But as she reached for the doorknob yet again, a light-hearted voice called out from the other side of the wooden portal.

"Knock-knock!" the voice giggled, stunning everypony who heard it, Volare most of all, as he'd been the one that had asked the fateful question: "could things get any crazier?"

"Um, hello?" Trixie recoiled slightly, a little confused.

"Silly filly, that's not how a knock-knock joke works!" the voice giggled again in amusement as its owner pushed on the other side of the door, causing it to slowly open with an ominous creeeeeaaaakk.

Famous last words, Volare...famous last words...

Lightning flashed behind the pink mare standing in the doorway, highlighting the huge grin she wore. Coupled with the fires from the bushes outside backlighting her, it made for a sight that nearly made Ray bolt out the backdoor in sheer terror if Jill hadn't grabbed him first. It was the Pink Menace! Even Trixie backed up a step or two as she took in this strange-looking pony she'd never seen before but was certain she'd heard of.

"Whoa, what the hay, is it supposed to rain tonight?" Pinkie broke the tension with her wide-eyed question aimed at the night sky behind her. "Derpy, what're you doing?"

"Ah, sorry Pinkie, but I'm just puttin' out the fire here!" the blonde Pegasus grinned sheepishly as she bounced on the rain cloud she was using to extinguish the flames outside.

"Oh, no problem then! See ya later, Derpy!" Pinkie waved cheerfully as she turned away from the small rainshower outside. "Oh, that Derpy Hooves, always causing mischief and-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Trixie stomped her hoof, fed up with the lack of respect this pink fool was showing her. "Don't you know who I am and that you're wasting my time by standing in my way, eh?"

"Oh, oopsie," Pinkie smiled and hopped inside, causing Trixie to back up even further. "I'm Pinkie Pie, and I guess you must be the Trixie I heard about."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie, if you please," the blue mage corrected her with a bounce of her stick-filled mane.

"Huh, well, you sure made a great and powerful mess here," Pinkie eyed the broken pottery, smashed tables, and general destruction that filled the normally well-kept cafe. "You guys must've had a heck of a party-oh heya Volare-bear!" she quipped in a friendly tone, finally noticing the blue and yellow Pegasus dangling over the head of the magician. "What's up, well, besides you of course, hee-hee!"

"Oh you know, the usual; getting in trouble and kidnapped," the Pegasus said off-hoofedly. For some reason, the mere presence of the Element of Laughter had caused him to relax quite a few degrees; somehow, he just felt like things were gonna be alright when she was around.

"Hrm, that's no good," Pinkie frowned. "Need some help?"

"That'd be nice!" Bon-Bon yelled from the back of the cafe, drawing a wide smile from Pinkie who waved a hoof as if she didn't realize that the room between the two mares wasn't halfway destroyed.

"Heya Bon-Bon! Is Trixie helping you guys redecorate?"

"Argh, get outta my way, you pink fool!" Trixie growled and stomped her hoof again.

"Whoa, you in a hurry or something, Great and Powerful Trixie?" Pinkie queried in an innocent tone that made the blue magician want to puke.

"Yes, very! Now move!"

"Why's that?" Pinkie cocked her head.

"Move it!" Trixie ordered, her horn glowingly threateningly.

"Answer my question first," Pinkie stood her ground. "Oh and you should say please when you ask somepony to move; it really helps avoid confrontations."

"Grrr," Trixie did nothing to hide the frustrated growl rolling from deep in her throat. "Alright fine, if you really must know, I’m taking Volare to where he’ll tell me all the secrets of Earth’s magicians, and then I’ll be the greatest of all time!" she replied with a self-righteous tone that only served to make Pinkie Pie burst into a new fit of laughter, thinking that was the funniest thing she'd heard all week. "W-what's so funny?! What're you laughing at? This isn't a joke, you heathen!" Trixie demanded.

"Hee-hee-hee, Volare-bear, didn't you say that real magic didn't exist on Earth?" the pink mare had to lean against the door frame as she continued to hitch in her breath past the lingering giggles that served only to fluster the magician even further.

"What?!" Trixie roared in confusion.

"Tried to, but she wouldn't listen," Volare shrugged as best as he could with the ropes in the way.

"What do you mean, no magic!? Tell me this instant!" the magician commanded, all pretense of keeping her composure fluttering out the window as she spoke.

"Pinkie watch out!" Vinyl Scratch called out in warning. "She's all hopped up on nightshade and pinecones!"

"Shut it, you!" Trixie turned and hurled a chair across the room at the DJ, but she was so flustered and her aim so off that Vinyl didn't even have to dodge the poorly-tossed projectile as it crashed to the floor in the opposite aisle. Trixie spat in disgust before turning back to face Pinkie...but she was gone! And so was Volare! AGAIN!!! "What in the bloody, bucking, burning hayseed?! Where'd that blue-eyed bafoon go?!" she stamped her hooves and shouted in anger so great that her face was turning the same shade as her purple eyes.
...............
"Wow, trouble just seems to stick to you like icing on a cupcake, Volare," Pinkie chuckled as she sat the Pegasus down on the roof of the restaurant. To their right was Octavia's cello; battered and a little worse for the wear, but still very much in one piece. From up here, Volare could really see just how bad a shape the roof was in, with missing shingles and woodwork everywhere, not to mention the giant, cello-shaped hole freshly smashed through it. He'd really have his work cut out for him if and when he ever got around to fixing this place...but that was later, this was now.

"Wha-huh-h-how the hell did we get up here!?" the Pegasus asked in shock as Pinkie deftly untied the knots that bound his hooves together. One moment he'd been hovering over Trixie, the next moment, his vision was full of pink cotton candy mane and when he blinked his eyes, they were up here! But Pinkie merely shooshed him with a friendly stroke of his mane that did more to calm him than she knew...or perhaps she did know...she was the Element of Laughter after all. "How did you-"

"Shhh," she placed a soft hoof on his lips and simply smiled as she tossed her mane in a nonchalant way. "Hee-hee, well you know what they say: it's just Pinkie being Pinkie, right?" She winked and finished untying the knots, freeing his hooves. "There, I'll bet that feels better, huh?" the party mare tilted her head as she observed Volare's uninjured and functional hooves. Hmm, that's interesting...

"Pinkie, that Trixie...she's not in her right mind," Volare explained as he rubbed his sore fore-hooves. "Please be careful if you go back down there; she really tough!"

"Now, now don't you worry about me," Pinkie gave him a quick embrace. "You just wait right here while I clean up this mess; just be ready to help soon, though, okay?" she smiled warmly and winked again.

"What, help?" Volare asked as Pinkie climbed down from the roof. "But I'm half-frickin paralyzed; how'm I'm supposed to help? Pinkie!" But she was already gone...that was, until he heard a series of surprised shouts coming through the hole in the roof. He crawled forward on the shingles and peered into the building's wrecked interior, watching as Pinkie Pie inexplicably reappeared out of the kitchen.
...............

"What the hoof?! How'd you do that?!" Trixie stared wide-eyed at the friendly-smiling pink pony as she came trotting out of the kitchen...a kitchen with no doors or windows save the one she just exited. "Explain!"

"Nopey-lopey," Pinkie shook her puffy-maned head and grinned. "Not unless you want a headache."

"Oh-ho, is that a threat?" Trixie eyed the pastry chef warily, not really regarding her as a threat just yet, but she'd already flawlessly pulled off a disappearing/reappearing act...

"Nope, more like a friendly warning," Pinkie quipped. "If I had some aspirin and ginger tea when I told you, it wouldn't be so bad, but since I don't"-

"SHUT UP!" the blue Unicorn roared, red sparks angrily spewing from her horn. "Now gimme back that Pegasus, if you know what's good for you!"

"Hmmmm..." Pinkie tapped her chin as if thinking it over for a good five seconds; Volare couldn't tell if it was all an act to frustrate Trixie further or if she was seriously contemplating giving him up, but he was glad when she finally decided...sorta. "How about we play a little game instead?" Pinkie smiled brightly.

"Jill..." Ray said out of the corner of his mouth, his hooves visibly shaking, and his eyes riveted on what was about to take place.

"Yeah?" Jill replied, feeling an inexplicable sensation of dread at the meeting of Trixie and Pinkie she just couldn't put her hoof on.

"If I say to run...don't ask questions...just make for the back door and don't look back." His grim tone brooked no argument, and Jill simply nodded her acknowledgment and turned her attention back to the matter at hoof.

"Oh, isn't that cute?" Trixie pretended to gag. "How about I blow you to pieces and I ask what's left where that damn Volare is, huh?! How's that grab ya?" To her utter surprise, instead of being intimidated or getting mad and hurling her own insults, Pinkie's grin simply widened and she adopted a slightly-lower four-hoofed stance that allowed her to quickly leap in any direction she needed to.

"Hee-hee-hee, you can try," Pinkie Pie smirked confidently, taking a quick moment to rub her itchy ear. "But my Pinkie Sense says otherwise..."
---------------------------

Notes: Well folks, I believe it's officially time to sound the shitstorm alarm:

I hope this and the next chapter make up for the rather over-inflated musical interlude of the last chapter ^^;;
Nother note: my basis on Trixie's seemingly over-powered behavior is based on cases of police trying to restrain people high on hallucinogens and stimulants...yeah, it ain't pretty...either way, remember that Trixie is not in her right mind here because of Ray and Jill, so don't hate her too terribly badly. Heh, she's probably gonna feel like hammered shit if she survives her encounter with Pinkie XD;

PreviousChapters Next