Gamer. Pony writer. Layabout. ...That's about it.
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This story is a sequel to Love is Power I: Singing from the Heart
It's been one year since Twilight's and Fluttershy's lives changed. They have become inseparable. Some ponies even refer to them as 'the perfect couple'. However, after some time, Twilight begins acting... differently. Fluttershy fears Twilight may be reconsidering their relationship. Now she must find a way to save their falling romance before it crashes.
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Nyx is from Past Sins by Pen Stroke
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When I first drafted this story in my head, it was much shorter. It's really just a tie-in from story one to story three. In short, most of this one will be half-flanked on the fly. I apologize in advance for what is certain to be a train-wreck of a story.
That is all
4240121 Possibly the only good to come of this one. Glad you liked it.
oh so twilights planning to "pop the question" huh
4405629 What gives you that idea?
4410823
so far your story already shows the classic setup in which one character distances them and then ask the other character to marry them.
It's in most movies and books, hell real life too, ive seen it
4411358 That's an interesting deduction, and I will neither confirm nor deny it. Fic 3 in this series will answer your theory (if I can pull myself away from Rune Factory to finish writing this one
).
4411913
Distractions are nice for that arnt they
I don't know how to vote for this one. If those first two parts are just the prologue to a longer story, then my decision might not be correct, seeing as a lot of the actual story is missing thus far. Then again, at least in my opinion, every entry should be able to stand alone somehow. I don't know.
This second part felt rushed. That was the first thing I noticed. There wasn't any explanation to why Rainbow looked like a guard, was there? What bugged me the most, though, were the OCs. That new fiend introduced in this chapter seemed to act like the classical movie-villain. Telling the hero you want to defeat just how you intend to defeat them is pretty stupid. Maybe he'd get a lot more background in later parts of this story, but his introduction felt... bumpy.
Aaaand I have a problem with Nyx. You mentioned she's somehow 'famous' or at least, could be known in some way. But it's risky to just assume one knows her. Because... I don't. I know her name now. That she's an alicorn? A filly? Black? And that's about it. I don't know what happened to her parents, why Twilight of all ponies considered to adopt her, why she stays at the library, I don't even know anything about her personality. It sometimes felt like she was there for the sake of, yeah, well, being there.
I really liked the idea of Fluttershy trying to express her feelings through a song in the first installment of this story. Although I don't understand why she ran of at the drop of a hat once Twilight didn't respond the same second she finished their kiss. Or why Twilight would plan a probably devastation 'rogue storm' to talk to her again. Or why Twilight would wait two weeks for her plan to roll out, allowing Fluttershy to torture herself for two weeks more. There were just some decisions I can't follow through, there should've been better explanation to those.
I up-voted the first story and gave it a favorite, too. This second one, though... I think I'll hold back my decision and wait for the third part.
OK time to start on this story then.
So far so good, i personally am not to familiar with Nyx as i have not, and probably will not read "Past sins" but i do like her from what i have read on her wiki.
Looking forward to read the rest.
~Tobben
Already? i would have had a two year period before "The question" was to come, but different folk different stokes.
hope everything goes well, even tho a lot of misunderstanding is about to happen.
~Tobben
It was good, a bit to short for my liking, but it was good nonetheless.
Looking forward to this series to relay take to the air.
~Tobben
5412125
1. I personally admitted that this story was rushed. When I originally drafted all of these in my head, they were much shorter. I did alright expanding the first, but this one was kind of a duck.
2. Rainbow was meant to simply keep Twilight away.
3. The villain in this story, like the story itself, went through drastic change from my original "draft". He was a little more interesting initially, but I needed him changed, because reasons.
4. Nyx is the OC from possibly the most famous fanfic, "Past Sins". I added her for multiple reasons, though mainly for fic #9 in my series (if I ever get to that
) If you haven't read "Past Sins" you should. It's an incredible read.
5. Fluttershy is experiencing a certain change that the series hasn't gotten to address yet. She is meant to be very emotional (more so than usual) and OOC.
6. The storm was actually completely under control. The weather team concentrated it so no damage would be done.
7. Twilight was facing her own internal struggle. She had no idea Fluttershy was suffering.
8. Please don't upvote this story. I'm disappointed as a writer to upload it. But it was necessary to introduce the central conflict in fic 3.
I promise the next stories will be better.
5567431 You have very lenient tastes. This story was horrible.
Thanks, though.
I will make you all proud with the next story.
It's been months since I've been to this site. No more hiding.
5582432
I wouldn't say lenient, more like OTP blindness.
The story itself wasn't that good but it's still better then anything i have made.
And it was a good build up for the next one
~Tobben