• Published 26th Mar 2012
  • 1,702 Views, 8 Comments

A Shelled Tale - Zariyo



Tank plays with the rest of the mane 6's pets. But will they all get along?

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Chapter 1: Arrival

Tank slowly opened his eyes to a sunny morning. The sunlight hit the tortoise square in the face, which caused him to slowly turn his head away and close his eyes, and slowly open them once more.
His owner, Rainbow Dash, was just getting out of her cloud bed and was stretching. He slowly smiled, when he began to remember his amazing feat he accomplished all those weeks ago. How he became Rainbow Dash's pet because he stayed by her side during the race after she got stuck and helped her when all the other contestants were racing away.
Slow and steady wins the race, I suppose. He thought to himself with a grin. His legs began to lift himself up from the cloud floor, and he began to ever so slowly stretch next to his owner's side.
Rainbow Dash smiled as she noticed him, and said, "Morning, Tank!" She walked away for a short moment to bring back his gadget that allowed him to fly with her. She carefully strapped it on her shelled companion. "Guess what, Tank?" She said with a softer voice than usual. "You are going to your first play-date!" She boasted as she slapped his goggles on him.
The impact caused him to fall over backwards, which then made Rainbow Dash bellow with laughter. Her bellows made him nervous as she flipped him right side up and switched the 'on' switch on the gadget. He began to fly above the ground, and then around the room.
Rainbow suddenly flew out of the window, and motioned her reptile friend to follow. He eventually did shoot out,but much too fast, which caused him to crash into Rainbow. However, he was going too fast for her to stop him.
So there she was, grabbing onto her pet, following him as he streaked across the sky. Rainbow Dash kept calm at this point, and she cautiously lifted her hoof, and switched the mechanical object off. They were suspended in air, until gravity worked it's magic and they began to fall down to earth.
At the nick of time, since the pegasus loved suspense, she began to open her wings and zoomed back into the sky, leaving a trail of rainbow behind her.
After flying for a few minutes, she landed herself at the meeting spot, and set her little friend down. She shook her head and face-hooved herself. "Not cool, Tank." She shoved her face into his, and grumbled, "You gotta learn how to use that thing properly, if you really truly want to be my pet!" She stepped back, and Tank had some time to think to himself.
I do, I really do. Sorry, Rainbow Dash... he thought to himself. It was as if nobody could be as great as the amazing Rainbow Dash, so it was an honor to be her pet! She was so cool. So daring. So humorous. Not to mention, she was kind of pretty...
Suddenly Tank's thoughts were interrupted by a very stylish voice nearly singing, "Ah, Rainbow Dash. Aren't you early?" The tortoise bit by bit, turned his head to see the owner of the lovely voice. It was indeed a white mare, with an insanely curly purple mane. As she flipped her purple hair, he noticed she was wearing a pack, which had a white cat in it.
The cat had a purple tie around it's neck. Tank automatically remembered the cat- Opal, right? The same cat was the owner of the toy that he had to take away, which he didn't exactly do the first time, but did after his great feat was accomplished.
When the cat noticed him, she glanced, and then glared, remembering that he was the fool who angered her and stole her mouse at some point. She was indeed not fond of him.
Tank showed his fear on his face, as Opal jumped out of the pack, and landed on her feet.
The two mares were talking, so they weren't noticing Opal scaring the poor tortoise to death. "It's YOU!" She growled to him. It took some time for him to answer, since of course, he was naturally slow, but also shy of those who want to tear out his throat.
"You...are talking about the time I...uh...stole your mouse...er, right?" He cocked his head, hoping it would help make him look more friendly. It only made it look like he broke his neck. He blinked, slow as ever.
Opal allowed herself to do the stereotypical snob look- she closed her eyes, held her nose into the air, and waved her paw.

"I suppose it wouldn't be lady-like if I didn't forgive you. So..." She opened her eyes, and touched his head with her paw. " So I, Opal, hereby forgive you." She smiled for effect, which didn't work because Tank could still tell she was still ticked at him.
"Oh...uh...um...thank you." He said, as he suddenly felt a snout on his head. Naturally, he looked up, to see a dog sniffing his head. The dog was just starting to open her mouth, which fortunately would break the ice, but also cause everyone to want to rip their ears off...or whatever tortoises have.
"HI! I HAVEN'T EVER SEEN YOU BEFORE!" She turned around to jump in front of Tank to give him a friendly lick. "YOU'RE NEW RIGHT? I'M WINONA! NICE TO MEET YOU! WHAT'S YOUR NAME, HUH?"
Tank was becoming overwhelmed with all this energy just surging from the dog, and so he stepped back while answering," My name...is...Tank...? Um, I'm...R-Rainbow Dash's...p-pet." Winona did a back flip for a verbal reply.
" OOOH! OOOH! SO YOU'RE DASH'S PET! THAT'S COOL!" Suddenly, a softer paw back-handed the hyper pup in the head, which caused her to lay down and whimper apologizing words. Opal snickered as she watched the poor beagle. A repeating stomping was heard and then a "who". Tank turned around to see an impatient rabbit, and an owl.
"Hey." The rabbit said. The owl repeated it's previous word and creepily turned it's head around. Tank nodded in reply and brought himself to say,"Hello...I'm Tank."
He slowly brought out his foot, for the rabbit to shake. The white creature lifted up an eyebrow, and gave a disapproving look. Either way, he took it and shook it. "Angel." The owl said nothing. Angel sighed and motioned towards the bird."And that...is Owlawicious." The owl who'd in reply.
Suddenly, Tank felt something slimy on his back. He tried to shake it off, but was too slow to be successful. What was on him was a gator. It had a strange look on it's face and it blinked in a very strange way. " And that...that is Gummy." Angel said. He leaned closer to Tank to whisper to him. "Stear clear off that, guy. He's too weird."
Tank began to be over-whelmed and wasn't all too sure about this play-date...he was getting worried...

Comments ( 8 )

Perhaps you should indent the paragraphs?
Other than that, this seems like it may be a fun read.

Bluh wall o' text bluh

Well looking at how the pets interact is an interesting change. There are some spelling errors and punctuations problems (it's/its for example), and there are missing spaces in some spaces, but it doesn't seem too bad otherwise. Just separate the paragraphs before they burn everyone's eyes, if you would.

Hah! Interesting idea. But let me reiterate what those above me said about wall-o-text. :applejackconfused:

Really, it's not bad, the only thing I'd change is the wall o text format. I'd like to see more. I mean everyone seems to like your fic, it just needs some small fixes other than that It's a decent read.

Thanks, guys! :pinkiehappy: And yes... I will try harder to make my fics easier to read :twilightsheepish: I was in a bit of a rush, but I'll be more than happy to fix those mistakes :yay:

368531
I second that. Both statements.

This is interesting and good. Tumpup and favorit.

Interesting fic, looking forward to seeing more and how you write Gummy

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