• Published 7th Mar 2014
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Land of Friendship and Magic - Archmage Ansrit



Who would have thought that dressing up as John Egbert and attending conventions would get me into this mess.

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Matters of Gravity 1

Author's Note:

This is a crossover with DJSkywalker's fic: Gravity of the Situation.

What started as character interaction spiraled out of our control and turned into something that neither of us quite expected.

(Outskirts of Ponyville, day after the letter)

“How is your ‘information gathering’ going?” Prosperity asked, turning around to face her adoptive father, wiping gem dust from her face.

“It’s informative, but kind of worrying.” Typhon said, sitting down on the grass. “I don’t know where anyone else is, yet, but I came across some echos of events that I wasn't expecting.”

“Like what?”

“Gilgamesh is fraying at the edges, it seems, and the girl he asked me about is in a bad place, mentally and emotionally.”

“Maybe you could call her here.” She suggested, laying down on the grass to sun. “What is her callsign? Or object?”

“Kat Shifter, and she uses a black diamond.” He replied, producing one from a pocket. “She does need a way to decompress; most of the problems she seems to get into are made worse from just bottling everything in.”

“Bottling things in isn't always bad, just ask Cherry Pepper.” Prosperity grinned.

“Cherry Pepper is an animated soda bottle in the shape of a pony, Doctor Pepper Cherry flavored, and thus her opinion is invalid… plus, she’s a foal.”

“Perspective, dad; you always say something like that.”

He grumbled - semantics was supposed to be his shtick. Still, he scoffed, looking at the artificial gemstone… smooth, but dark, perhaps too dark? Had it been conscious? Or just the only type of diamond she could make?

He collected ambient energy into his ring, then fed it into the gem.

“Kat Shifter. I have witnessed your plights, and sensed your solitude; no soul deserves loneliness, and no spirit can carry such burdens on its own. I extend an offer of ears that listen, and shoulders that bear. Do you wish to talk?”

A portal opened just a ways from them, depositing out a golden mare with blonde hair. "Oof!! Ah, satané. I really need to learn Void travel one of these days."

“Oh… Uh...” Typhon scratched his head, before stepping forward to help her up. “I should have mentioned that humans don’t exist in this place. You ‘go native’ unless you push back… though I was expecting you to turn into a gryphon - military girl and all."

"Huh? What?" She asked, rubbing her head. "What do you..." Kat caught sight of hoof and just stared at it for a good thirty seconds. Then her left eye began to twitch fiercely.

“Dad, I don’t think she can push back.” Prosperity deadpanned as Typhon stood there, awkwardly reaching towards the frozen mare.

“There is one solution.” He snapped his fingers, and a chilly breeze touched Kat all along her spine.

Yet still Kat just sat there, staring at nothing as her eye spasmed. Until, "DIOS PUTAIN MERDE!!!!!"

“Well, she’s talking alright.” Prosperity smirked, as Typhon rubbed his eyes with a sigh.

“You are complaining too much for someone that is now a pony; seeing one swear like that is like seeing a kitten trying to be gangster.” He said, sitting down to be more near her level.

Kat glared deathly at him. "Look buster, I just spent five years, five putain years, as a pony. I've only been human for seven months and now this! It's not fair, satané!"

“If you are complaining about the diet, just check your teeth; ponies are omnivores of opportunity, being ovolactovegetarian out of choice.” Prosperity interjected. “If you miss your thumbs… well, other than somehow managing to turn into something else then you’re out of luck.”

“Sweetie, that doesn't help.” Typhon said, looking at her with disapproval. “Even I had at least one body as a human, and there is all those explorations of the Astral realm and dreamworlds.”

"I feel very exposed," Kat commented, her jacket being the only thing she had on. She sat down, bringing her tail between her legs for cover. “I do not like being a pony.”

“I have the feeling that suggesting going to Ponyville for clothes wouldn't be that good an idea.” Typhon fished around for his wallet. “I have some generic things in here.”

“Those better not be the ones mom wore about the house.” Prosperity warned. “I don't think I can see them without pasting ‘bedroom eyes’ on whoever wears them.”

“Nah, adventuring stuff. Wait, pants, or not?” He stopped for a second; some ponies couldn't stand them, and in most cases were an acquired preference.

“Two questions,” Kat said, lifting up a forehoof. “One: why can't we go to Ponyville? Two: why are you looking through your wallet like it's bigger on the inside?”

“First: Because the girls are there, and I kind of saw an echo in the Void where your Fluttershy was sort of disintegrated in front of your face, even if it worked out in the end.” Typhon took out a card from his wallet. “And it's not only bigger on the inside, what I put in shrinks to fit.”

Appearing in front of him was a tailor's dummy wearing a long coat of a striking red color, with a wide-brimmed hat that matched.

Kat looked at it with a turn of her head. “Am I supposed to wear that? What do I look like, Carmen San Diego? Won't I stand out wearing something like that?”

“You are safety yellow, the only thing that stands out more than you is me.” Prosperity said, gesturing to her bright white scales. “But she’s got you there, dad.”

“Fine, what about… a brown duster Fallout-style?” He said, producing the item.

“Hmm,” Kat said as she inspected it with a keen eye. “It’s nice I’ll give it that. But, no thank you. It’s very considerate, but while I may feel a little… indecent, I don’t want to stand out any more than I feel I do. I was able to be one for five years, I suppose one little visit more couldn't hurt. And thank you for being considerate about Fluttershy and the girls, but you don’t have to keep me from your versions. I've met several different varieties already. In fact, I like meeting them. I feel as if it helps me get to know my friends back home just a tiny bit more.”

“If you say so.” He shrugged. “Prospit, are you coming?”

“I need some more sun, dad.” She replied.

“Alright… Rarity should be out and about. Is that OK for a first stop?” He turned to the former human.

“Sounds like a plan,” Kat agreed. “Who are you, by the way?” she asked as they headed towards Ponyville. “And how do you know who I am?”

“I’m Typhon, or that’s what I go by, at least.” He said, offering a small bow. “I know about you - first, from Gilgamesh, then, from wandering around in the Void until I came across the remnants of events that happened. When I sleep, my consciousness is shunted into a not-entirely-physical existence, being more of a psychic imprint, leaving me pretty much free to go anywhere.”

“Woah, that’s freaky,” Kat said with a hint of wonder. “Also kinda cool. What do you do around here? Ya don’t seem like a much of a fighter, then again neither did I, so no offense if you are.”

“I know, right? I’m more of a thinker, a researcher, but I have enhanced strength and what is basically Primordial-level power over wind and everything related to it, both physically and metaphorically. Essentially, I fight because I can take it, even though I’d rather design golems and familiars.” He answered as they left behind the wide open spaces and started getting close enough to actually see the faces of flying pegasi. “I tend to break stuff when I fight, however.”

“I know them feels, bro,” Kat said with a giggle. “Property damage expert, right here. Um, just wondering, but what did Gilgamesh tell you about me?” she asked nervously.

“That you were hung up on revenge and didn't seem to think the consequences of your actions.” Typhon scratched the back of his head; it was awkward, but needed to be said. “Saw the results of that one, and I thought you needed someone to help you decompress, as it were.”

“Pssh, me? Decompress? Nah, I’m at the top of my game!” she waved off. “Too much to do, a lot of time to do it. Just gotta live in the moment, ya know?”

“Eyuup, and I am twelve feet tall and fart thunderbolts.” He replied with a chuckle. “I might not be able to outright read anything that isn't being broadcast, but I can tell the ‘direction’ of things, and that lie was more lost than the plotline of LOST. Heart rate, nervous ticks, all are an open book, and that is without getting into the reactions of the environmental magic to your inner one.”

Kat looked away from him, finding the sky very intriguing. She narrowed her eyes, actually being intrigued by something. “Is it just me, or is that rainbow blur getting closer?”

“I might have let it slip that she needed to work on her wind-control, and she certainly heard how no thing that flies through wings can get to me if I don’t want it.” He moved a hand towards the blur, then snapped it upwards, sending it into a spiraling ascent. “Ready for the first Bearer of this world? She might actually pull out of that one.”

“Here’s hoping,” Kat said as she sat and watched the acrobatic pegasus. “Don’t know if you saw it, but I kissed RD in another world. It’s weird that she actually does taste like skittles.”

“Depends on the magic and their lunch; this one gives off an aura of stormy weather and ozone.” He watched as Rainbow snapped her wings closed as she peaked, then carefully repositioned her body to control her spin. “This one doesn't swing that way, though; guys only.”

With a dry thud, Rainbow Dash landed not ten meters in front of the pair, swaying slightly from side to side. “Not cool.”

“You’re the one that wanted to out-do the Royal Guards, Dash.” Typhon smirked as he shrugged. “It’s not my fault that a sudden redirection of the Empyrean Currents of energy makes your sense of balance get shot to hell.”

“Yeah well, you’re… a heinie.” Dash offered, taking a deep breath and swallowing. “Who’s your friend? Another of your philosophical buddies, or something more exotic, like a mage or ninja?”

“You tried pranking Windborne again, didn't you?” Typhon deadpanned.

“Hey, dodging a bucket of water is one thing, but dropping it on me?” She even sounded offended. “That ain’t gonna fly in this town!”

“This is Kat Shifter, another human, although she doesn't have something to protect her Morphic Resonance Field from the magic of Tellus.” He gestured towards his ring, even though it wasn't the only thing, nor was it wise to put that much of a load on the ring’s consciousness. “The world gets confused, too, you know?”

“Hi,” Kat waved. “Nice to meet you. And trust me, I am no philosopher. I prefer to kick cul and take names!”

“Aw yeah!” Dash cheered, pumping a hoof high into the air with a jump. “Another mare that speaks my language!”

“I can fly too,” Kat added with a smile.

Dash looked at her up and down, then leaned to the sides. “Like this guy over here?”

Typhon opened his mouth to reply, but stopped, then frowned.

“Kind of? It’s more of high-speed alteration of position, with some gravity-altering dream-slash-psychic power, but she has out-right gravity powers.” He finally replied. “I can’t make myself fall sideways, though.”

“Sideways, up, down, diagonally, faster than the speed of light, I can do it all! Took a lot of practice for that last one… and it burns.” Kat rubbed her arms, remembering the practice sessions. “Bet I’m faster than you!”

“Light, huh?” Dash narrowed her eyes.

“That’s either a wormhole that punches through the space between start and destination, or you managed to replicate the warp drive from Star Trek.” Typhon eyed her warily. “I suggest you refrain from doing it anywhere near town - need I remind you, Dash, of the number of complaints you got from detonating a Rainboom the one time?”

The mare grumbled and crossed her forelegs, flapping until she reached his eye level.

“You cannot out-stare me, Dash, I can simply shut down everything, leave my eyes open, and wait until the weather team calls you.” He grinned mischievously. “Mu isn't just the sound cows make.”

“I vote Dash wins,” Kat commented, raising her hoof.

“Ha! In your face!” Dash poked him in the nose, knocking his glasses off-center.

“Well, we were going to Rarity’s.” He huffed, looking away. “She’s not very comfortable being near-naked.”

“Hey! You don’t have to flat out say it!” Kat whined as Typhon started walking off with a small smile. Rainbow chuckled, but soon stopped as Kat glared at her. “Hey wait up!” she yelled after him. “Not cool, man. Not cool.”

“Bah! These ponies are really touchy-feely, they’ll find out five minutes into the conversation.” He turned around, floating backwards at walking pace - not like he needed to see. “Wait ‘till you get to Rarity; she’ll become a personal-space-invader of Pinkie-level once she learns you have seen outfits from other worlds.”

“Oh goody,” Kat replied, her voice stinging with sarcasm. “Well, that’s gonna be a bust for her. Fashion is sooo not my thing.”

"Yeah, like that is gonna stop her." Rainbow rolled her eyes, thinking that, in Rarity's horseshoes, she wouldn't be discouraged.

"I know it won't. Can't blame a girl for trying, though. My Rarity tried to get the same out of me, but to no avail. Who cares about fashion when there's cul that needs kicking?"

“Your- wait, is that one of those ‘alternative universe’ things Princess Luna told us about?” Dash lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

“Oh yeah.” Typhon nodded, crossing his arms. “I've seen and visited some - though none with another Displaced until Auric came into the picture - he’s the one that helped me with the Blue King.”

Rainbow Dash winced. “The Black one is next, right? Why are they even involved in this?”

“They want a good fight; honestly, I also like a good spar, since it makes it so easy to look into the heart of someone else.” He replied. “It’s not their fault they are being used, though that plan has more holes than a sieve.”

“I feel like I’m around the Doctor again,” Kat said, not understanding a single thing they were talking about.

“I have that effect.” Typhon admitted. “Basically, right now I’m kind of a dream manifested in reality, not dissimilar to you-know-who. And others want in on that, throwing people with delusions of conquest or looking for a fight at me, even though I don’t exactly play by their rules.”

“I still don’t know how can somepony stay that calm knowing there are things out there trying to kill them.” Dash muttered.

“If I can’t change it, why worry? If I can change it, why worry?”

“Know them feels too,” Kat commented.

“Oh yeah; if people had a little more courage to accept things as they are, and respected the rights of their neighbours, a lot of Earth's troubles wouldn't even exist. Tellus is a lot better in that regard.” Typhon was ‘laying down’ in mid-air, both arms behind his back. “I could do without the cragodiles and timberwolves, though.”

Kat looked at the floating man with a pout. “Hey, that’s my thing. I’m the one that’s supposed to float lazily in the air.”

“I’m a dream now, and this is one of the perks.” Typhon smiled at the grumpy mare. “Well, meditation to unlock the mysteries of existence also helps. I can help if you’d like.”

She gave him a weird look. “Uh… no? I dunno. I really don’t get all that philosophical mumbo jumbo. I prefer to punch things.”

“If you aren't at peace with yourself, you’ll find out that there aren't enough things in the world to punch.” He was solemn, looking off into the sky. “The darkness and the shadows are accepting and forgiving, but even them have limits; you can’t just punch everything you don't like, or are lead to think you don’t like.”

Dash lowered her head, remembering when she gave Twilight the stink eye just for being a newcomer with ‘suspicious’ behavior.

Kat thought on that for a moment. “So… ask questions first, then shoot, right?” His deadpan made her giggle. “I’m just foolin'. Ya gotta lighten up. ...oh great, now I sound like the Doctor. Satané him and his good nature. Anyways, are we almost there yet? Rarity’s gonna take a while and I want to get to Pinkie’s before lunch.”

“It’s not far, just across the market.” Rainbow said, flaring open her wings. “I’d rather not get stuffed into another corset; even if you’re more likely to be her victim, I’d rather not take chances.”

With that, she shot off straight up, only for a mysterious current to send her flying to the other side of town.

“She’ll pull out of that one, too.”

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