• Published 25th Mar 2012
  • 4,738 Views, 45 Comments

Obsessive Compulsive Rarity - Squeak-anon



Twilight notices something slightly amiss with Rarity

  • ...
8
 45
 4,738

Chapter 1

Twilight sparkle walked through the shopping district of Ponyville, humming to herself. She was enjoying her time here, despite her initial misgivings. She had the day to herself, Spike was busy cataloging books in the library, and she had no prior engagements. So she just walked around town, looking in all of the colorful shop windows, and watching various ponies walk by.

She passed Rarity’s shop when she suddenly heard a noise.

“1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.” the sound bounced out from behind the doors.

Twilight stopped, listening to the numbers.

“10,11,12,13,14.”

She poked her head through the doors.

“Rarity?” She called.

“19,20,21,22,23,24,25.”

“Rarity!” Called Twilight, louder.

“30,31,32,33,34,35.”

The counting continued. Twilight ventured further into the shop, looking at all the designs and patterns her friend had layed out. The sound grew louder as she neared the shop’s rear, ending in a small door leading to Rarity’s creation studio.

“50,51,52,53,54,55.”

“Rarity! Do you hear me?” Asked Twilight again, getting slightly annoyed.

She peeked her head through the door.

The white and purple unicorn dashed around a beautiful ornate dress in the center of the studio in a blur of fabric, stitching and lace.

Every few seconds she’d mumble to herself.

“61,62,63,64.”

“Um...Rarity?”

“65,66,67,68,69.” Rarity kept counting, oblivious to Twilight’s presence. “71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78.”

Rarity paused and looked a around wildly at the now completed dress.

“79!? What kind of a number is that to have!” She screamed to herself. “It’s so, untidy!”

She ripped the dress from it’s mannequin.

“No, no, no, no no! It won’t work!”

Rarity dragged it to a large metal machine in the corner of the studio. All too late did Twilight realized it was a furnace. She reached out with a forehoof.

“No!”

Rarity tossed the dress sending it sailing into the fire. There was a distinct smell of burning fabric as the once lovely piece of clothing burned.

Rarity turned around, looking distraught.

“Oh, hello Twilight.” She said realizing she was there. She tried to primp a little with her hooves. Attempting to make herself presentable. “What brings you here?”

Twilight stood in the doorway with her mouth agape. She shook herself out of her stupor.

“Rarity, why did you destroy your beautiful dress? It looked like you put so much work into it...”

“Oh that thing?” Rarity looked around. “Um..well it was nothing, you see I’m making a gown for Princess Celestia, and it has to be perfect!”

Twilight looked the unicorn up and down. “But I’m sure the Princess would have loved that dress, even if not, you certainly didn’t have to destroy it. Are you okay?”

“Okay?” Rarity put a hoof to her chest. “Why, Twilight, I’ve simply never felt better. That dress was just, um, a warm up! Yes, it didn’t really take me all that long to make. Only around fifteen hours is all.” She waved a hoof in the general direction of the furnace. “Not worth your time to worry yourself over.”

None the less, Twilight was worried.

“Why were you counting earlier?”

“Me, counting? Oh, it was nothing much, dear, just counting the sequins along the dress. The number has to be perfect.”

“Seventy-nine isn’t perfect?” Said Twilight.

Rarity winced visibly “No, not at all, it’s all wrong, all wrong, it isn’t even, it isn’t symmetrical, it’s just a simply hideous lump of a number.” she rambled. “Let’s not speak of it again.

“Ooohkay.” said Twilight slowly. “Look Rarity, you seem tired, how about we go for lunch?”

“Oh, a simply marvelous idea!” Rarity replied, her eyes’ lighting up the way only her’s could. “I know a lovely place down by the fountain.”

And at that, Twilight found herself being dragged out of the shop and down the street.


“Ah, hello my good colt.” Rarity said, fluttering her eyelashes at the waiter. “We’re ready to order, what would you like, Twilight?”

Twilight was sitting at the opposite end of the table gasping for air from the run down here.

“I’ll take *Gasp* a daisy salad *Gasp* with hay.”

“Very good, madam.” Said the waiter. He turned to Rarity “And you?”

“I’ll take the Dandelion Cul’du’mar with grape leaves thank you.” She replied.

“Very good mada-”

“Oh, but make sure the dandelion has only 44 seeds and that the grape leaves still have at least one-third the stem left, cut in half the long way.” Rarity interrupted.

The waiter floundered a bit. “But madam w-”

“Please?” she implored, fluttering her eyelashes again.

The waiter looked more flustered than ever. “But of course madam.”

He stalked back to the kitchen, a bit faster than necessary.

“Rarity, are you sure you’re alright?” Twilight tilted her head to the side, sizing up the white unicorn.

“Oh, Twilight, as I told you, I’m fine, stop your worrying.” She had begun to fiddle with the flowers in the centerpiece. “I’m really feeling quite well.”

She shifted the flowers.

Two to the left, one to the right.

One to the right, two to the left.

Two on either side, one in the middle.

The one in the middle kept falling to one side, and she constantly tried to correct it.

“Rarity?” Twilight asked.

Rarity continued fiddling.

“Rarity?”

Two to the right, one to the left.

Rarity was deep in concentration, becoming flustered as the flowers would not be organized. Suddenly, a forth flower came down and shifted itself to the left.

Two to the right, two to the left.

She looked up at Twilight, who held several flowers in her mouth.

“Our food is here.”

Rarity looked and found her food sitting in front of her, the waiter looking mildly proud of himself.

“Oh,” she giggled uneasily. “Thank you, Twilight”

The purple unicorn watched Rarity as she ate. She worked from the left side of the plate, towards the right. Not leaving a scrap of food.

“Ah!” Rarity sighed. “See, Twilight? Did I not tell you this was a great place?”

“Yes, yes you did.” Twilight looked oddly at her friend. “Look Rarity, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked, staring at her from across the table.

“Well, I, it’s just, oh never mind.” Twilight said, resigned.

“Good.” Rarity said nodding. “Check please!”

The waiter walked up, “Your check madam.”

“Thank you waiter.” said Twilight, reaching for her saddlebag.

“Oh no darling!” Rarity yelled. “Please, let me pay!”

Twilight looked up. “But Rarity, I’m the one who invited you, it wouldn’t be right.”

“Oh never you mind dear.” Rarity’s horn glowed as a wallet floated from her saddlebag. “I’ve got it covered I’m sure.”

Various gold and silver pieces floated from the wallet, arranging, and rearranging themselves into several groups.

“Let’s see, I’m sure I had a copper piece somewhere...” Rarity mumbled.

“It is quite alright madam, I have change.” Said the waiter, tapping a hoof.

“No, no, no, I’ve got it, just wait sir.”

The coins arranged, and arranged themselves again and again.

“But, Rarity,” Twilight pointed out. “you’ve got two silver pieces right there, that should be more than enough for lunch.”

“No, no, no!!”” Screamed Rarity. “It’s not right!!”

The waiter and Twilight took a shocked step back. Rarity noticed saw their reaction, the money fell to the floor. Her ears pressed flat against her head.

“I’m sorry.....it’s just...I have to go!”

She turned and ran out the door a sob echoed back.

“Madam!” The waiter called. “Come ba-!”

He was cut off as two silver pieces shoved themselves into his mouth. Twilight collected the fallen money, and dashed out the door after Rarity.

Twilight heard sobbing as she entered Rarity’s shop for the second time that day. She followed the sound as she slowly walked back into the studio.

She found the white unicorn sobbing next to the furnace, mannequins knocked over at all angles.

“Rarity?”

Rarity looked up, but upon seeing twilight, she buried her head again, and resumed sobbing.

Twilight wrapped a forehoof around the sobbing pony.

“It’s alright Rarity. It’s alright.”

“No, no it isn’t, it’s all wrong, it’s all wrong!” Said Rarity through the wracking sobs.

“Yes, yes it is, I think I know what the matter is.” Twilight said softly.

“Y-you do?” Rarity risked an upwards glace at her friend.

“You have a disorder, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Rarity’s eyes welled again, and she buried her face in Twilight's side.

“How long?” Twilight asked.

Rarity held her sobs back as she tried to explain.

“A long time.”

“What happened?”

“It was spring, and I was little. Playing with some Friends near the Everfree Forest. It was lovely there. We were playing catch, and one of them threw the ball my way. It bounced into the forest, and being so little, we were afraid. But I thought myself a big pony, and I said I’d go get it.” She paused, sobbing again. “I went in looking for it, and in no time, I was all turned around. All the Forrest looked the same, so dirty, dense and unruly. I was lost for a day and a half. No one came for that long.”

“Oh, Rarity.” Said Twilight.

The Unicorn broke into a new bout of sobbing. “Everything was so dark, I couldn’t see, there were branches everywhere. In my mane, in my tail. Like they were trying to pull me in. There was no place I could rest, no place for me, no bed, no food, no friend. Nothing was right, everything was out of order.” She sniffed. “I just wanted things to be in order, to make sense. A road, a light, anything, that made sense. I just want things to make sense.”

Rarity couldn't finish as the crying over took her. Twilight sat with her for along time as she cried herself out.She slowly rose to her hooves drying her eyes.

A small bag floated towards her.

“Here” said Twilight. “I picked up your money.”

Rarity sniffed. “Thank you, Twilight.”

“You’re welcome. Now, why don’t I help you with that dress?”

Rarity managed to chuckle. “They way I’ve seen you make things? Not a chance.”

Twilight’s face fell.

“But I suppose you can hand me the sequins.” Rarity smiled.

“That I can do!” said Twilight nodding. “I’m very good at keeping count!”

They both laughed and went to work.

END








Comments ( 45 )

It's funny that in season two we learn that Twilight Sparkle actually has serious issues with obsessive compulsive behavior. If she and Rarity both got an OCD kick together, I shudder to think of the consequences.

It's very cute :3 though I'm a little confused, did she "get" OCD that time in the forest, or just found out she had it at the time? Because in the first case, Unfortunate Implications Hurray!

Also, I'm a bit annoyed that you put the numbers instead of spelling them. I've always been told that unless you're speaking maths, it's bad form to not spell the number as a whole. I know it's annoying in this case, but it bothers me.

Your music is awesome and so was that "sob" story :raritydespair:

That was really nice! I liked it! :twilightsmile:

Shit. Now I have to figure out if I have OCD or not. Fun Fact: people with OCD knows what they are doing is unneeded and stupid but if they don't do the rituals (like mines would be doing something 4. 8, 16, 32, or 64 times and making everything equal.) anxiety will build up to the point they do the ritual.

Oh, this was one of your first stories? Wow, it was very good indeed! Yet as Ponydora Prancypants pointed out, nowadays is Twilight the one with that disorder, so as interesting as the story is, as sequel couldn't fit on the canon.

PS: You meant 2011, right?

Daw good story. But How was this on EQD in February 2010 if MLP:FiM didn't air until October 2010?

Oh Rarity, you so funny! :duck:

Loved the story, by the way. It was "exquisite"! :raritywink:

Hello folks! Stalin and Co. are here, bringing yet another installation of Stalinview!

i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Are you ready, crew?

i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Let's do this!

i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png VOOOODKAAAA!

i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Let's dig into Obsessive Compulsive Rarity by Squeak-anon!

--------------------------

i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg First thing: text is too blocky...
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Let's not be so nitpicky here, Pioneer Dash. Let's just enjoy a story for a whonce in a while.
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png Agreed! *hic*

"mannequin"
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Stalin remembers, that Lauren Faust called these "ponnyquin".
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png You're hallucinating again boss?
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg What? What do you mean "again"?
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png Well, remember time when you hanged out with that guy who was obsessed with a tubs of jelly?
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg I thought we agreed to never speak of this again.
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png Sorry boss...

i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg By the way, "mannequin" formed from word "man". That word dont exist in pony universe, so it is entirely possible that mannequins are called ponnyquins

"Rarity tossed the dress sending it sailing into the fire. There was a distinct smell of burning fabric as the once lovely piece of clothing burned."
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Heh, just like you, boss.
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg ...What?
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Remember how you have used your old clothes?
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg It was cold, and i was out of firewood!

"“Um..well it was nothing, you see I’m making a gown for Princess Celestia, and it has to be perfect!”
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Wow, that's a rare order. Concidering that Celestia is always naked.
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg She has acessories, so she is not completely naked!
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png *fap**fap**fap*
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Misha, what are you doing with that sound?
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png Putting ketchup on my shashlik.
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg YOU HAVE SHASHLIK! GIVE ME SOME!
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png Oh god, i really should've told you that i ma...
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg ENOUGH! Give me some shashlick too!

"“Seventy-nine isn’t perfect?” Said Twilight."
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Better than 69 :trollestia:
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png ...I don't get it!
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Of course you wont.

“Ah, hello my good colt.”
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg It's like saying "Ah, hello my good kid". Not a very satisfying flattery, you know...

"Various gold and silver pieces"
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg All bits are suppose to be golden. I dunno about cents though.

“Let’s see, I’m sure I had a copper piece somewhere...” Rarity mumbled.
i42.tinypic.com/153u2rc.jpg Penny?
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png No, kopeika!

i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg Ok, that wraps up this story!

OVERVIEW:
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg This is a very good little story for evening entertaiment. Stalin likes these.
i40.tinypic.com/eg18p.png All characters are keepeng their personalities perfectly!
i41.tinypic.com/29smdg.jpg We are amused!
VERDICT: VERY GOOD! AUTOR DESERVED PRAISE

You realize that OCD is something you're born with, right?

I remember reading this story from back in the day, and after it I named you Bittersweet Squeaks. This is quick and enjoyable read for people who need a quick dose of awww.:pinkiesmile:

365103

Oops, typo! Sorry about that. Glad you liked it though!

365087

Yes, yes I did.:derpytongue2: Curse you fingers.

365223

I...I'm not entirely sure what just happened....all I know is I'm slightly entertained, there was a bear and a 69 joke in there somewhere and I may have just been complemented. I'm beyond questioning any of this, so I'm simply just going to say thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

365260

I'm quite familiar with it, the condition can be exacerbated by a traumatic event in the life of the sufferer, which is what the 'Lost in the woods' thing was. Though I can see where it might seem like I thought it was something you could 'catch'. Sorry for any confusion, hope you enjoyed the story. :twilightsmile:

365270
This, my friend, is called "Stalinview". I am doing those for stories i like. Details in my blog

365280

Huh, well that's an interesting way to do reviews. Very original. I like it.

365287
Thanks. Whistle if you need on on other stories
But is shall require minor feedback though

A very charming and cute story.

Great work. ^^

364790 i think being lost for such a long time in a place where she could only describe as being "unruly" and "unordered" got to her, i think it might be something akin to people who are afraid of spiders are uncomfortable being around anything that resembles one. so Rarity cannot stand anything that reminds her of the unordered nature of the forest. :fluttershysad:

365223 i lol'd so hard :rainbowlaugh: keep up the good work sir :moustache:

I'm getting a Death the Kid vibe from Rarity.........

364726 Actually canon Twilight shows signs of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, while this version of Rarity has proper Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The former is about obsessing about being orderly, but it's the normal kind of orderliness. The latter invents new kinds of order, rituals that have to be performed. Twilight doesn't like when her quills are not in the quill drawer or on the desk, Rarity spontaneously decides that quills have to be arranged by color and size or in a geometric pattern.

In other words, OCPD is what people usually think of when they talk about OCD, actual OCD is what a discorded Discord would have.

I really like this story and I really could see Rarity becoming obsessive compulsive.

A few things that need to be fixed.

The story itself is a little to blocky. What you need to do is put a space or two between who is speaking and who isn't.

I also noticed when Rarity told her story, that Twilight just said, "Oh Rarity." I would expand on that part with Twilight's reaction and thoughts to Rarity's experience in the Everfree Forest.

Something like this would be good to put in that area.
'"Oh Rarity, it's going to be okay and I am really sorry that happened to you. " Twilight began to tear up herself in realizing that she felt helpless about Rarity's conditions. She also knew deep down inside that this would be a very hard topic for the depressed unicorn. Twilight then changed the topic...'

I also thought the story ended too fast. That also needs to be expanded as well. Otherwise it looks too rushed. I also would continue with this story but it's up to you.

It's in my favorites. :raritywink:

365596

Fair point, though creating a checklist for creating checklists seems to me to be a hallmark of OCD, and I have a feeling that Twilight has other problems as well. Her collection of Daring Do novels was not arranged in numerical series order, for example, but rather seemed grouped alphabetically or in some odd color-coordinated pattern.

Twilight has the ocd what with the needless worrying as seen in lesson zero and its about time.

365223
...This might be the greatest review of all time.

I personally felt that there wasn't an actual resolution to the story. I mean yes, we get to see that Rarity had a disorder and where it came from but the story doesn't really go anywhere with it. That's my only real grievance.

Oh, this was painful to read...

365223
I was going to read story...then saw your comment and decied I had been entertained enough to not even read

Wow, how long has it been since I read this one? This was a featured story on EQD back when the show was only just starting to gain momentum, wasn't it? That feels so long ago now...yet it's only been a year. Good to see it's finding new life on FiMFiction.

P.S.: Love the picture you chose! :trollestia:

This is a lovely story. I've always wanted to read (or write) a story that treats Rarity's or Twilight's obsessive-compulsive nature as a real problem instead of as a cheap source of comedy or drama. I'd be all for a continuation where they work on their problems together, but by itself, I think this story is just as long as it needs to be. Twilight's sympathy is simple but sweet.

368277
You have missed a very good story, my friend

365584

Come to think of it, insanity is a minor theme in both Soul Eater and Friendship Is Magic....

I did notice the lack of a resolution... but then again, Twilight MIGHT have developed enough sensitivity to hold off on offering help to get over the problem since merely ADMITTING could be seen as enough trauma for one day for Rarity.

A story that seemed simple, short and very entertaining at the same time.
I don't think it's so easy to produce a fic having those 3 traits. Congratulations. :pinkiesmile:

Oh yeah, and Rarity with OCD somehow makes much sense. Twilight too, for that matter. But we can assume she has canon OCD since Lesson Zero. :twilightblush:

Heh, s someone who has an OCP, I find this relatable.:pinkiehappy:

Well this explains that birds nest quite well.:raritywink:

I just have to point out the obvious.

Rarity is not OCD. She's not even OCPD. She's just prissy.

Also, OCD isn't generally tracked to a particular life event. It's believed to be neurogical in origin. For that matter, few if any psychological problems are attributable to a single, traumatic event.

If you wanted to do a story about a pony with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder on the other hand, Twilight Sparkle is, literally, a textbook example.

The primary symptoms of OCPD can include preoccupation with remembering and paying attention to minute details and facts, following rules and regulations, compulsion to make lists and schedules, as well as rigidity/inflexibility of beliefs and/or exhibition of perfectionism that interferes with task-completion

This was a very interesting fic, and a good read. Nice job. :raritywink:

Ever since Look Before You Sleep, I've had a headcanon of a mildly OC Rarity. Maybe not full blown OCD, but tendencies.

Hence confirming what I've always though-Unicorns are nuts. Good story.

>>royalbardofcanterlot
U know Wat u meant
Twilight (before she became a princess) rarity and many more ponies are NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:twilightangry2::flutterrage::trixieshiftleft::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:
This means that u hate many nice ponies:duck:
So why did u join fim fiction. net?:rainbowhuh:
Sorry for my rudeness but then y did u join?

Aw, poor Rare.

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