• Published 4th Mar 2014
  • 19,570 Views, 1,156 Comments

My Little Apprentice - Starscribe



When a remarkable spell summons a human mind into the body of a unicorn filly, Princess Twilight Sparkle does the only thing she can think of: Take on an apprentice.

  • ...
49
 1,156
 19,570

Chapter 16: Discord

Chapter 16: Discord

“I'm afraid not, my dear ponies." Chance heard the voice, though it did not seem as though anything in the room had changed. It made them all shiver, though Chance had never heard it before. It was not the voice of a pony, that much she could tell. Then, as though their barricade was a hologram, something casually walked through it, and the voice suddenly had a body.

Chance wasn't sure what she expected from the body of the being whose mind she had briefly sensed. In one way at least it seemed to match well with what she expected, in that its body was an absolute mess, a combination of different animals and forms that did not at all belong together. Its rough shape reminded her of the dragons of the east, though that was only in outline. Those creatures were graceful and beautiful, not... what was this thing, anyway? The three fillies responded universally, backing as far into the furthest corner of the basement and putting the cube between them and the being that had discovered them, at last.

"You can't hurt us!” Apple Bloom protested, as the being slid down the stairs on its back and began to drift suddenly into the air. Had the gravity in the room turned off? No, and yet he floated. Chance looked away. As insane as the being's appearance had been, its manipulation of probability was masterful. It was... everything like unicorn magic, yet utterly unlike it. It reminded her of only one thing: What it was like not to have a body. "Our sisters will turn you to stone if you try anythin'!"

Chance did not like where that line of thought went. If Discord was responsible for this, and Twilight would turn Discord to stone if he did anything bad, why wasn't he stone now? The only possibility that came to mind was far from pleasant to think about. It did not bode well for their future.

"Oh, don't you worry yourselves about that." The strange face grinned down at them. Or rather, up at them, as a strange, smaller copy of the thing had appeared beside them. No, not a copy. It was the original. The big one was gone. What the hell was this thing doing to spacetime? "I'm not here to do anything unseemly!" The creature had yellow-red eyes, eyes that were looking directly at Chance. "I'm reformed! I've been learning so much from my dear friend Fluttershy, and I just thought... while I was here, I should help share some of those wonderful things with everypony I could find." The thing licked its lips, almost predatory. She wasn't sure what this thing ate, but she knew it was about to get its fill.

Chance cowered, looking anywhere but up. Was this what it was like to be a mouse caught by a cat? Yes, she supposed, it probably felt exactly like this. "And one of the most important lessons about friendship" He said the word like it was something foul, or perhaps merely beneath his dignity. "is trust. Did you three know that one of you is keeping a secret? One of the biggest, most important secrets in all of Equestria!"

Suddenly, he was at his full size again, reclining on a desk not far away. “Oh, do you think Twilight would mind if I enjoyed one of her tomes here? She’s got so many upstairs.” He seemed to be eating one of Twilight's books, ripping out the pages one by one and chewing them thoughtfully. "I'm just here to help get everything into the open, so we can all be better friends.

"The biggest secret in... Equestria." That was Sweetie Belle from beside her, glaring defiantly up at the creature. For such a little thing, she was quite brave. "You're wrong, Discord! We told Second Chance all about the Cutie Mark Crusaders! It's not a secret, because we wouldn't be good friends if we kept something that important secret from her!" Apple Bloom nodded.

This seemed to so thoroughly amuse their tormentor that he spat a liquid stream of paper from his mouth, which reformed into an exact duplicate of the book he was eating right in front of them. It was disturbing, but incredibly remarkable. This was magic all right, but it was far more than Twilight could manage. This creature was a Demigod. The Crusaders could not know, but they felt its power and it made them cower. Chance just felt cold, like the empty reaches of space. She remembered emptiness, endless emptiness for numberless years. Chance stepped forward.

"Don't hurt them!" She said, puffing herself up as big as she could. Her horn glowed as she prepared for an insane attack. Maybe, if she tried to fight this thing, the others could escape. It was after her, and might not even follow them. "They're nothing to you."

The crocodile-grin got wider. Wider than the being's face, as it happened. "Why, how rude of you to assume! Actually, I have a soft spot in my heart-of-hearts for these fine fillies, as they played a large part in my first escape from a dreadful stone prison. And that's exactly why I came! I simply could not allow them to remain undefended in the presence of a dangerous monster! I don't know how I would live with myself."

He got up, and walked back across the room toward them, shrinking slightly as he walked. He was perhaps only a foot taller than Chance by the time he reached them. Not that size made the slightest difference here. Even if she kicked with all her might, broke his head or something, it would probably only annoy him. If there was a brain in there at all, it would be easy for him to repair it if anything happened.

"You're the monster!" Apple Bloom stepped up beside Chance, and she was soon joined by Sweetie Belle on her other side. "We were just fine until you showed up! If you really care about us, then you'll turn around and march right back up those stairs!"

"All in good time, fillies. You may want me to bring you with me when I'm finished."

Sweetie Belle offered something else in their defense, but Chance did not hear it. She couldn't hear it, over the sound of her own screaming. The being, the alien being of incredible power, had reached out to her mind. She fought it, and the effort brought her to the ground screaming in agony. She fought with all her will, as no proper pony ought to be able to fight. "NO!" She screamed, and thought, at the same time. "MY MIND! GET OUT!"

An effort that took all her physical strength hardly seemed to slow the creature down. Her friends could only watch, holding her as best they could but powerless to intervene. One of them was screaming at Discord to stop, but Chance didn't hear her words.

She heard him, though. "This will go easier for you if you don't resist. You can't win, and trying to might drive you insane." She ignored him.

As it turned out, he had been half right. She couldn't resist, not for long. The pain was shortly too intense, and her mental barriers collapsed. Her mind was open, her memories. Oh God, the memories! The pain faded, replaced with a feeling of profound violation. This being was where no soul ought to be, browsing her most private thoughts and desires as though they were books along a shelf, which he could freely peruse. That incredible intellect took only moments to look through her entire human life, along with her short time here in Equestria. It had seen it all, every moment.

She could not fight him. Her will had been broken in moments. But perhaps, while he occupied himself with her, she could delay him long enough for Twilight and the others to arrive. It wasn't as though she thought much for her life expectancy anyway. So she reached back through the connection, forcing herself into the most painful memory she knew. If he wanted to know her so badly, she would show him something he wouldn't soon forget, monster or no. She would show him what pain meant.

* * *

Kimberly was eleven. She wore her favorite dress, the one that was green with little stars. Mother had said she ought to wear her favorite thing, since they wouldn't be coming home for a long time. She hadn't understood why that would be, but she was a good girl, and good girls never argued when their parents looked so upset. She hadn't seen her father for such a very long time, but she was going to see him today. Mother had already told her what she must do. She must tell her father how much she loved him, and how proud she was of him. But she didn't really understand. Nothing made sense to her anymore, no matter how smart she was. Mother had always told her she was smart.

The city had been different then. The lights were all out. There were hardly any cars in the sky, and not a single hovertruck on the highway. Instead there were green and black vehicles on the ground, and the shimmer in the air that told her invisible planes were up there, flying around. Something very important was happening today, she could tell. Nobody seemed excited about whatever it was. That made her think it wasn't the good kind of important. Maybe it was the bad kind.

She did see her father, waiting for them at the biggest and most important entrance to the Space Elevator, where the most important people got to go. She remembered him clearly, in shiny black armor that made him look strong and tall. She told him that, and he laughed and mussed her hair and told her how brave she was to be going so far away. "Don't worry, Omega regiment is the best in the Federation. We've got a nice deep bunker to hide in once the last shuttle is out. I'll be waiting to hear all your stories from the moon."

"I'm going to the moon?" Kimmy had asked. Yes, she'd been called Kimmy then. That's what everyone who loved her called her, and her father had loved her. "But I'm scared of heights, I don't wanna fly! Can't I stay here with you? I could join the... Omega regimen."

Father only shook his head sadly "Sorry Kimmy. You and Alexi were the only ones with certs' high enough, or we would come with you."

He seemed to realize he had slipped up though, because the little girl's eyes had gone wide. She had expected some of this. Not being able to see her father was awful enough. "W-what... what about mom?"

Father looked embarrassed, and didn't answer.

Her family went with her all the way to the MGLV, which seemed to be filled mostly with other children. Some were older, some were smaller, but adults were in the minority here. The few she could see were clearly soldiers, with those little wafers of glass in front of one eye and sidearms on their belts. A different kind of soldier, not like her father. The kind that fought bad guys you didn't think were coming, as opposed to the ones you knew were on their way.

Her mother had hugged her then, tighter than ever before. It was the last hug her mother had ever given her. "Be brave." She had said, through her tears. Kimberly was crying too, but she wasn't fighting like some of the other kids. She was a good girl, and good girls didn't fight. "I'm told Seattle's bunkers are quite comfortable. I'll call you in a few days, once we're settled in. There's a few seconds delay from the moon, but we'll still be able to talk."

Kimberly nodded, clinging to her mother with all her strength. She clung so hard mom's skin had gone white. But those tears from her eyes hadn't abated, not once did she open her mouth to sob. Even so, her voice was squeaking and faint when she tried to talk. "Just... just come with us!" She had protested, gesturing to an empty seat. "There's room!"

She only shook her head. "Sorry, Kimmy. That's for someone else. They won't need me at Luna-7, but they'll need you one day."

"W-why?" The girl stammered, wiping the tears away from her eyes with a sleeve. Her big sister sat right beside her, and she appreciated the arm around her shoulder. Alexi had already said her goodbyes. Or perhaps she was just being kind, and giving the time to her little sister who needed it so much more.

"Because... Because you will have to fix the planet, we think. You're smart and healthy, and will live a long time. We need you to figure out a way to undo all the damage." She mussed her hair, just as her father had done. "You were always the clever one. Well now lots of people will be counting on you, not just me. The whole world."

She shook her head fiercely. "I can fix it from the bunker! You said it was nice there!"

Her mother shook her head. A siren was ringing, and a voice blared. "Capacitors at 95%. Launch in T-2 Minutes.” The soldiers were leading all the other families away. A tall man with a gun gestured for mother to leave. He didn't use his gun to do it.

"Be brave." Mother had said, grasping one of her hands in both of hers. "We'll watch the launch from here. I'll call in a few days." She had to go, everyone did. Kimmy held onto her sister as best she could in the awkward restraints, feeling uncomfortable against the gel seats.

The walkways were clear now. No more soldiers, no more parents and siblings. Just the passengers. Kimmy was lucky, she was buckled in right across from the big round window, and she could look outside. Of course, they were very deep underground right now, so there was nothing to see. She ignored the pre-flight checks, just looking out the window at the blank metal wall and waiting.

"Passengers, we have just received the all-clear from mission control. Please sit upright and rest against the seat. Do not attempt to move until you receive the all-clear from the crew, at which point you will be free to move about the cabin. Our flight to Luna-7 should take approximately 52 hours. Enjoy the flight." The man's voice had sounded almost cheerful then. Kimmy had figured he was probably sad too, and wanted everyone else not to be sad by sounding as happy as he could. She tried to make herself smile as she looked out the window, wondering if she would see her family on the ground as they went up.

"Five. Four. Three. All hands, brace for acceleration!"

It was like no other force she had ever experienced, a weight crushing into her as though she had grown a hundred times heavier. It pressed her into the specially-designed seats, which braced her body and prevented injury. Her vision went nearly black as the pressure increased, her ears popping in protest. She could see very little, and heard a dull roar all around her as the craft shook. It shook so hard it felt like it would shake itself apart. Some of the other children cried from the pain and the shock, but not many. Most didn't have the breath to cry yet.

Light suddenly filled her vision, as they shot up and up and up through sections of the elevator nearest the top, where daylight streamed through metal supports and wires. Then with a jolt the tower was gone altogether, and they shot unassisted up into the sky for several long moments. It was at that time, just before the plasma jets kicked on and the pressure of gravity resumed its unrelenting assault, that Kimberly experienced the worst pain of her life.

Her beautiful city was beneath her, gleaming in the setting sun. The sun behind the ocean made the whole city look like it was on fire, turning the numerous structures bright orange. She could see many people on the ground, and occasionally little flashes of light would pass between them. Two armies there were, facing each other.

Then she saw the flash. Had it not been for the nanomachines in her eyes, she would have been instantly blinded. As it happened, her vision automatically polarized most of the light, protecting her from the worst of the damage. There was an enormous flash, and when it faded, a second sun was rising from the center of the city, a thin cloud chasing them through the air as it rose into that distinctive mushroom shape. Then came the shock wave. Little tanks and buildings were thrown through the air like toys, burning as they went.

The MGLV was too high for the explosion to catch it, and moving too fast for any fighter craft to go after them. Kimberly was forced to watch her family burn beneath her, transfixed by the horrific sight.

Suddenly, her sister's touch seemed less familiar on her shoulder. She looked, and her sister wasn't in the seat beside her anymore. Instead, a thin man was sitting there, with grey hair and well-groomed goatee. He wore a suit, which seemed to be made of patches of a dozen different suits at least. He was smiling. Seeing a smile here was almost worse than what was going on beneath them.

"I see I am not alone in my love of Chaos. Your people put me to shame; with weapons like this. It's quite beautiful you could destroy yourselves. Without magic, even. Not even the Griffins in all their years of clan warfare could do this."

Now that the creature had revealed himself, Chance felt everything come rushing back. She wasn't this child. The implants in her body weren't real, and she hadn't lost her family just now. Well she had, but the wounds weren't this fresh. Her face boiled with anger. Hatred, as she had never felt before, welled within her for the monster smiling at the death of such a beautiful planet. "Is that what you think?" She asked, practically boiling over. “This amuses you?"

She ripped them into another memory, not long after. She stood under a transparent dome, which had been filled with others. Everyone on the base was watching the Earth below, as it lit up. At this distance, the flashes looked like little fireflies. Hundreds of millions of lives went out with each one. "WATCH IT, THEN!" With an effort of will, the memory people vanished, leaving her and the lengthy grey-haired man. She laughed wickedly at the sight, her child's body looking up at Discord's memory mask. "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds!" She laughed again. "Is this what you want for Equestria too? Fine! Let's see where entropy takes us!"

She tugged again. She was older this time, by several years at least. She wore the bulky white fabric of an XAT-suit, her head surrounded by a transparent bubble of blue nanoglass. Discord was beside her still, his eyes and expression unreadable. He wore no protection, but then, that didn't seem to phase him. In a memory she could have done the same thing, though she lacked the skill for such fine manipulation yet.

She was alone, the only human for miles. Only a few feet away was an old-fashioned buggy, still white and pristine despite the years. Kimberly sat on a large rock, looking up at each. The blue was still mostly blue, but tinged with grey. There was no green anymore. Nothing lived on the surface anymore, save for the single-celled extremophiles. "Do you want another world that looks like that, Discord?" She screamed into the radio, screamed with every drop of hate in her little body. "If chaos is what you want, it'll be over forever! No more life. It'll all be a machine, a slowly rotting dead planet orbiting around a dead star!"

"I've seen it!" She raged, tugging them down again. The vision she showed them had come through a probe, but they were standing beside it now. The steel skeleton of a city, the shadows of its former residents scorched into the concrete. The ground still too hot to touch. Nothing moved, and nothing lived. Mother Nature's usual reclaimers had not touched it, nor could they. It was too hot, radioactively speaking. "I've lived through the end of days!" She bore down on him, her suit replaced with a blue jumpsuit, her plastic identification badges hanging off. "You saw my memories! I lived to watch everything I've ever loved burned before my eyes! I've crossed abysses of space and time! Mountains crumbled to dust and protons decayed in the time I waited in the void!" She reached down, lifting a piece of twisted metal from the earth, and hefting it in both arms. "I won't let that happen to another world!" She charged, swinging it at him with all her might.

She passed through empty air, and the weight of the metal brought it spinning from her fingertips. She was no fighter, never had been. Couldn't even wield a club.

The man clicked his tongue, folding his arms across his chest. "That's quite enough, Chance. I'm no longer amused with your behavior. You simply must learn to be more civil with your fellow immortals. Believe me, I can personally attest to the advantages. We're going to be stuck with one another for a very long time." She barely listened, dropping to her knees and scrambling around in the ash for something she could use as a weapon. "And there you go again. Looking for something to kill me with. Is that all you are?"

"It isn't our fault!" She screamed. There was nothing large enough. Like someone tossing a scrap to a dog at their heels, Discord tossed something to her. She recognized it immediately, and stared down. It was a magnetic accelerator rife, the MAR-9. Standard rifle used by every soldier of the UEF.

"Go ahead then." He spread his arms wide, looking down at her with contempt. "Shoot me. If it will make you feel better."

The power pack glowed green, blinking merrily as a sign that the weapon was fully charged. The capacitor hummed to her heart, almost like a song. It would be so easy, she had seen these weapons in use before. The safety was already off. One shot could tear through anything but nanosteel without resistance, and burn the air in its wake.

She wasn't sure what Kimberly would have done. Second Chance remembered her name, the one Twilight had given her. She got up, and kicked the gun away. It landed several feet from her, sending up a little cloud of ash. "It isn't our nature!" She shouted at him. Then all the strength left her, and tears began to streak the ash on her face. "We were invaded. It wasn't our fault." She gestured all around them, at the ruin of her beautiful city. "It wasn't our fault. Humans aren't like this." She looked up, right into his face. The tears flowed more freely and her voice faltered and broke, but the being did not look away. "We've been able to do it for years. We've been making war for a long time. But given the choice, most people would choose the good." She gestured, and with her will the weapon vanished. Discord smiled. "And nobody would've chosen this war. We wanted peace! Maybe we weren't as good at it as the ponies, but we damn well tried!"

She felt something strange in her then, somewhere powerful but far away. It was as though, for this moment and for the first time, she understood. She knew why Earth had fallen. She knew it had been an attack, and not the internal war it might have looked on the outside. And she knew, more than anything else, that it deserved a second chance. She saw the corpse of the city around her, and beyond to hundreds of others just like it. She saw the bunkers beneath the ground, where people struggled on rapidly depleting resources to survive one more day. They had no planet to return to, though. Just radioactive wasteland. Somepony had to do something about it. She had to do something about it.

"Perhaps." Was that sadness in his voice? "And perhaps, the same thing will come to Equestria. Oh sure, it might be wearing a different costume this time. And maybe it'll call itself something different, too. But in the end, the result will be the same. Same as it's ever been, in every world." He started walking, and she was compelled to follow. The city blurred past as they moved, far faster than any city could ever move.

"Don't you ever tell Celestia this, but I'm rather fond of the place. As much as that pains me to admit." He shivered all over. "Things have never gone any different before. But maybe this time they will. Their order can be undone by our chaos. And if not, at least it will be fun to try."

He put one hand on her shoulder. It was almost a kindly look in his eyes as he looked down at her, Chance frozen to the spot and unable to move. She might have thought it kindly, were the grip not so hard and the nails not digging into her shoulder. No, not nails. Claws. It was a paw she was feeling, and not a hand. "We'll give 'em hell. When it's all over, we will have created more Chaos than any universe has ever seen. We'll bring their damnable order to its knees! Who knows?" He looked away, thoughtful. "I might even call you my sister." He glared down for a moment at her hands, shaking his head. "For this to work, I've got to rearrange your insides a bit. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

That was a lie. Her whole body burned, hotter and hotter and hotter, and she screamed with all her might. She lost the strength to hold herself upright and dropped to her knees, wrenching free of Discord's grip as she fell. The pain did not ease, but grew gradually more intense until she felt nothing but the scorching heat in every cell, and consciousness failed her.

* * *

Chance blinked. She was in the basement, two familiar faces just inches from her. She stirred, and Apple Bloom jumped. "She's awake!" She squealed, prodding Sweetie Belle beside her. "She's up!"

The unicorn filly's face suddenly filled half of her vision, with about as much concept of personal space as children ever had. She was too weak to manage anything but a weak smile in response. "W-what... where's..."

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Gone. Said he was sorry for scaring you so bad you fainted, and just walked away. Probably has other ponies to mess with."

Sweetie Belle looked excited, suddenly. More excited than Chance had ever seen her. "C-chance!" She grinned. "Now that you're okay, can you tell us how you got your Cutie Mark? It sure doesn't look like a "Got scared by Discord" Cutie Mark to me.

"My... my w-what?" She blinked, struggling to her hooves. Her legs seemed hesitant to respond, but stand she did. Quite shakily.

"Your cutie mark! It just appeared while you were unconscious!" She gestured feverishly at Chance's flank. Ponies were quite flexible creatures, and with a sigh Chance turned to see what Sweetie Belle was pointing at. Her friend was right. It did not look like a "get attacked by an insane Demigod" cutie mark at all. Not that she wanted one of those. She planned on never meeting Discord ever again, and that wouldn't exactly have boded well for her future. Chance understood very little about what a Cutie Mark was, only what she had learned from the Crusaders. It reflected your special talent, whatever that was. So what did this mark mean?

It looked like the surface of a planet. Not Equestria, though. The continents weren't right. It was Earth, in rich green and blue. It was a depiction of her home. As her awareness returned, she could feel the magic lingering in her system still. Equestria had strange rules. Chance was broken. Discord had proven that in the private combat-ground of her own mind. But as broken as she was, Equestria had accepted her anyway. The mark proved it, in her mind. She was worthy, she did belong! "Oh." She dropped to her haunches, looking down thoughtfully. "It's..."

"It looks like the world!" Sweetie Belle grinned, having figured it out.

"Are you sure?" Apple Bloom looked at it again, eyes narrowing. "It doesn't look quite right. Are you sure it's Equis? It doesn't look like the globe from school."

"It's not." Discord had been right about one thing. She had been keeping secrets from her friends for too long. She wished Scootaloo was here, though she supposed the little pegasus had gotten off easy without having to deal with Discord. She would tell her as soon as she got the chance. "You know what Discord said about secrets?" She looked down, trying to hide her shame. True to their word, the Crusaders had told her everything. About all of their adventures, about the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She wondered if having her cutie mark disqualified her now. She would be grateful if they still wanted to be her friends after this, forget the crusading. "He was telling the truth."

She lowered her voice, leaning closer to them. "Twilight said it's up to me who I tell my secret to. If you two can promise not to tell anypony else, no matter what, I'll tell you. Oh! Except your sisters. They already know, so you can tell them I guess."

The other unicorn looked back, her eyes watering. It was clear she was deeply hurt by what Chance had said. She expected this, to have kept something so important from them for this long. "You mean you told Rarity, but not me? Why?" She looked on the verge of tears. Apple Bloom, on the other hoof, looked about as worried about the prospect of Sweetie Belle's tears as she was about whatever secret Chance might be keeping.

"It's not like that!" She protested, putting up one her hooves defensively. There was something strange and delicate about the relationship between Sweetie Belle and her older sister. It was something all the Crusaders knew, and were careful to avoid. She had just blundered straight into it. "Look." She pointed at Apple Bloom. "That night a month ago. When your sister and your sister and all the other bearers went to fight the monster from the Everfree?" The youngest Apple nodded, though Sweetie Belle was still sniffling. Chance went on. "The monster was me. I... I..." She whimpered, then it all came out in a rush. She spoke so fast all her words blurred together. Maybe if she said it all fast enough, they wouldn't hate her! "You know that burned part near the Everfree? That's where I came from! The bearers all brought the elements because they didn't know what I was, and they needed to be nearby to protect Equestria in case I was dangerous."

She had their attention now, and Chance paused to take an enormous breath before going on. She began to back away from them, toward the huge OMICRON Core. "They decided not to blast the harmony out of me. Instead, Twilight took me in, and she's been taking care of me since I got here. Then I met some amazing little fillies who have treated me like a perfectly normal friend all of this time no matter how ignorant I acted." She gestured at the Jebr stone. "I'm from a world called Earth. My people made this, and many other wonderful things. The Cutie Mark... I don' have a clue how those work, so you're on your own for that one, but it's my world. It's what it used to look like." She leaned back against the old Core, collecting herself for her last few words. "It's okay if you hate me now. I won't be upset if you don't want to be my friends anymore. I know I kept something really important from you, and I'm sorry."

There was a pause. It might have only been a second, but it seemed to last forever. Chance had been lying then, and badly. She would mind if they never wanted to be her friend again. She would mind very, very much. But those fears were in vain. Seconds later, she felt two bodies embracing her. Both of them. They hugged her tightly, maybe tighter than ever before. She cried, maybe more than ever before.

She almost didn't hear the voice of the OMICRON Core, speaking without emotion. "Genetic sample accepted. User identified as Dr. Kimberly Colven. User granted root status. Recovery mode initiated." Then, just as quickly, the screen went blank, and all light from inside it died. But Chance didn't care. Right now, all that mattered was that she hadn't lost her friends.

And she had a Cutie Mark now! That was pretty cool.

"Transfer complete." The voice changed. No longer did it sound toneless and neutral. It was more complex, more rich and varied. Less like a recording and more like a mind. Not that the Crusaders understood the distinction, or anything else about it for that matter. "Greetings, user Kimberly. I understand we are going to save the human race together."

Author's Note:

So readers might be wondering: What happened to the rest of the story? If you're reading this, then my sequelification of MLA has begun! There used to be 10 chapters following this A/N, there aren't anymore. That section of the story has been removed. Thank you so much for all of you who joined me for my first ever story here on Fimfiction... but I've learned a great deal now, and I think I can do better.

For those who want to keep reading the old version, I've saved the download links on the story's main page, so you can grab it and keep going if you like. Just know that, in the new version, I'm not going to necessarily be keeping anything past this chapter, so it's not cannon anymore.

To keep reading, why don't you move on to My Little Apprentice: Apogee.

Comments ( 109 )
Comment posted by Sparktail deleted Apr 24th, 2014

When I read Discord coming in I thought he'd turn Chance human, but then again that would have been predictable ain't it? :rainbowlaugh:

"They decided not to blast the harmony out of me"

Wouldn't they be blasting the Harmony into her?

From the conversation they had, I couldn't help but get the feeling that Kim's people were done in by Reapers. I know this isn't a crossover but still...

Comment posted by Clayton the hunter deleted Apr 26th, 2014

Go enigmatic Discord! Foreshadowing and mystery! OMICRON activate! Cutie mark get!

I wonder what he changed in Chance and if he had encountered humans before. He certainly seems to have encountered whatever it was that waged war on Earth. Ugh, can't wait to find out more. Such a tease.

Well then, I am now very happy I favorited this fic. Only wish I could give it another thumbs up for this amazing chapter. Good show!

I understand we are going to save the human race together.

Things just got both awesome and awkward. I mean, Kimberly/Chance ain't human no more. So is the OMICRON core going to agree to help save the ponies?

Also, can the OMICRON core have a faint British accent?

And then lastly, Six damn you for ending on a cliffhanger-y note. The AI's going to recognize that Chance ain't human pretty fast, right?

Wait, hold on: One more. I get that the answer is probably "magic", but how did Kim become Chance without changing the genetic code?! I could think of a few ways -- maybe the ribosomes insert different amino acids for each codon, which means that the DNA would be the same but the result would be different.

Also, biology! Yay!

...I really, really want to see the OMICRON go through it's paces at some point. I mean, they sound like some sort of machine-god, capable of basically anything they please with sufficient time. I doubt it would win out against something like Discord, but still, it will be interesting to see how it approaches whatever problems crop up.

Very well done, no little errors that I could see, no missing text, a nicely done Discord, OMICRON Core access by Cutie mark and best of all, posted when I'm not sleep deprived :pinkiehappy: (ok the last one holds no weight in my raiting :derpytongue2:)

all in all A+

Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

Discord is such a character! I absolutely love how he can seem practically deadly even though he's actually helping xD

so...the question is did Discord change Chances DNA to match her old DNA, or did he do something else?

4294221 The author has done us some justice in bringing the unpredictable to chaos (except for the sad Discord part... that was pretty much unavoidable)

I think what discord did is give Second Chance her human DNA back (so she could access the Omicron Core), as well as plant a seed of Chaos Magic (so she could use Chaos Magic in the future). He did, after all say:

"We'll give 'em hell. When it's all over, we will have created more Chaos than any universe has ever seen. We'll bring their damnable order to its knees! Who knows?" He looked away, thoughtful. "I might even call you my sister."

Please tell me chance talks to Twilight who gets on Discord's case about this.

4295299
No spoilers! Though Chance /ought/ to talk to Twilight about it. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as something outside the realm of things Discord is allowed to do.

4294990
That's an interesting prediction! It's pretty clear than Discord has some sort of feelings/connection to Second Chance that he wouldn't have for just another pony. One wonders why. Is it that she comes from the human world that makes her interesting? Or is it something else? More to the point, would you /want/ Discord to be interested in you? I know I wouldn't.

4294903
I'm glad I managed to make Discord at least a little unpredictable. When the practical embodiment of Chaos, it's very God and avatar, can be easily predicted, I probably didn't do a good job.

4294812
I think it's equally possible he altered the device so that Chance's current DNA is what its files say match the human Dr. Kimberly Colven (which obviously makes no sense, and if it took any time to analyze things that would be clear pretty quickly), or he could have changed her DNA temporarily so that it would match the file. I don't think he could've made permanent biological changes, since doing that would have serious consequences (namely, her painful and rapid death). Because that hasn't happened, we can only assume whatever biological changes he made were minimal or temporary in nature, I think.

4294731
I really do love that about how this chapter turned out. I mean, on the abstract level everything Discord is doing is really helping Chance. Well maybe not the tearing open old wounds and forcing her to confront her nightmares again, but other than that. Yet he does it in such a way that makes it seem as though he has other motives. And even if he doesn't, he's just such a jerk about it...

4294698
Hurray! I've being working and striving this whole story, and now finally it seems I'm finally catching everything! No more stray hands floating about, no weird marks, nothing. It's good to see a chapter that doesn't attract any correction reviews. Not that I want people to stop doing those! Just that I want them to stop being necessary.

4294632
Have no fear, citizen. You shall get your wish before the end.

4294401
Honestly your guess as to the biology is as good as mine. Discord did crazy Chaos magic. I don't really know how he did it except that it was non-invasive and not meant to alter her pony physiology in any way. As to the core though, we have an interesting situation going on. Chance isn't human, obviously. The core can clearly tell that. Yet it is clearly a piece of technology belonging to whatever faction of government Chance belongs to. It has her personal information (from when she was human, obviously) on its infinite data storage drive.

No longer is it some stupid program that has strict requirements that can't be circumvented (no root access for nonhumans). It is now a growing, learning intelligence. And it was sent with a mission of its own. The question is: How is it going to interact with this pony that claims it was actually a human scientist. Perhaps the fact it seems to know about her mission (and the fact she was declared dead on it) will help Chance. I won't say. But the next chapter will.

4294293
Well thank you so much! That's probably one of the nicest things anyone has said about my story so far. I was really quite proud of this part of the story, and I've been looking forward to what people would think about it when it was released. I'm glad some found enjoyment in it. I know it was fun to write.

4294275
Discord does seem to understand humans better than anyone else in the story thus far. That is rather interesting, I think. The key is in his dialogue, but of course pointing that out would be spoiling things so I won't do that. Woaaaaaaah!

4294273
I wish this was a mass effect crossover. But there are plenty of those, and good ones too! Otherwise, this would probably be one.

4294230
You aren't the only one to ask that question:

"I bet something real nasty came out of the Everfree, and tried to get to Ponyville! The elements all got together and blew the harmony out of it!"

"Blew the harmony out of it? Don't you mean put the harmony into it?" Sweetie Belle repeated, looking confused.

4294221
Actually, your predictive skills are quite good. In the original draft of this chapter, that's exactly what he did. This created an entirely new problem for Chance than the one she's going to have to face in this eventuality. She had suddenly become a mythological creature, alienated from her friends, who were in that writing so afraid of her and upset at being lied to that they kept their distance for awhile. Of course that didn't include Twilight, who wanted to help her find a way to change back. Discord refused to help unless Chance did something... I can't remember what.

But then, as I wrote it, it just felt wrong. As her confrontation with Discord began, the story wrenched itself out of my hands and went a completely different direction. Instead of hating chance, Discord likedher. I didn't know why at the time, but I think I've figured it out now. That wiley devil. He never does what you want, even when you write about him.

Still, I'm quite satisfied with how things turned out. This way Chance gets to keep her pony friends without having to win them back, and she gets to focus on external threats to Equestria and Humanity instead.

4296123 judging by Discord's dialogue, that "connection" is because Discord's original world suffered the same fate as Second Chance's, so he's giving her the same opportunity that he got.

I like this chapter. :fluttercry:

Damn. I can't upvote second time :derpytongue2:
Very nice way to place Discord&Chaos in story :twilightsmile:

Ehg... Chance might not be so happy about her cutie mark if she thinks Discord's meddling did it to her. Would have been nice if she got it before he decided to rearrange her atoms. It might mess up the timing of the scene though, where she's supposed to dedicate herself to validating the old glories of Earth without even noticing a cutie mark appearing on her haunch.

I really hope he didn't make her immortal. That would make it relatively inevitable that she has to see Equestria's end, regardless of how it happens. But mostly it would just be a total dick move. She's trying to be a regular ordinary pony, you asshole.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad. The one who lives to see the end may also live to see a new beginning. But if he did anything drastic to Chance, I'll happily welcome him into a stone prison, all the way until that ending he so poetically desired.

4296123 Which reminds me... Upvoted.

4296123 Awwww, not giving spoilers? No fair. :trollestia:

Anyway, I'm f:yay:king excited.

4296123 In reply to the thing about Discord and Chance's connection: I think that Discord was a human who survived the nukes, got irradiated by chaos magic somehow, and became the Discord we all know and vaguely dislike.

Either that, or Discord was the attacker Chance talks about.

Chapter 16: Princess Kimberly Colven, part 2

Well, Chance didn't become a princess after all, but she did earn her cutie mark in.... being from Earth? Can I get that cutie mark too? I'm very good at being from Earth too! Cutie Mark Crusaders Being From Earth, Yay!

Joke aside, it was a very good chapter. Discord was in character enough, being Iovable, caring and sadistic self. And chaotic, but that goes without saying. Or drat, I just said it. PLOT TWIST!

The scene with Chance going to the moon was very sad and Discord was a jerk in that. It was almost like Nightmare Moon! Nightmare Chance, the humanity shall last... FOREVER!

I'm out of things to say now, so. Off I go!

PS: The core is alive! GLaDOS will kill us all! RUN!

Discord's planning something. Has to be.

4304337 A damaged AI core, far from Earth? With incredible, borderline godlike abilites? Seems more like SHODAN than GLaDOS to me.

4296226
Thanks! I like it too!

4296337
Thanks! I hope his depiction in future sections is as good.

4296741
Yeah, I couldn't really find a better way to time that scene. Since I don't intend to go into detail about this in the future I'll explain that it was in the thoughts and actions of defending her race and people that caused Chance to get her cutie mark. It was nothing discord did, except that he was the one that forced her into a confrontation. Maybe he did that in order to force her to realize her mission and get her Cutie Mark, but he didn't use his magic to just pop one onto her or anything like that. I'm not sure that even Discord could do that, at least not permanently.

Then again, maybe he did try to force her to get her mark. That much I won't say, because the story will go into that eventually. What does a "saving the human race" cutie mark look like? Ultimately, I couldn't think of anything more fitting then our planet itself, the way we've always seen it. I thought of other things... like a hoof shaking a hand, or maybe a building. But none seemed as meaningful as the planet itself. I think every human I know has a subconscious love for our planet, even if we each express it differently. For someone ripped away from the planet early in her life (like Chance), that relationship becomes even more important.

4297239
Could be! Those are both solid theories, but answering either would be saying much too much on my part.

4298565
Don't worry, they'll be waiting for you! The story won't be going anywhere, promise! Big things to come in the next few chapters. As all these comments talk about, which I would caution you to avoid. Since they'll spoil what's to come.

4304337
I suppose it makes sense that Chance would start acting in dreams a little like Nightmare Moon. I mean, she's been studying in dreams almost every night with Luna. That's bound to rub off somehow, even subconsciously.

4306519 Heh. Typical, non-spoiler-y answer. Good job.

I eagerly await the next chapter.

I think I've gone too far with this comment. Well, I typed what was in my mind without much filtering...:twilightblush::twilightblush:

So, the first act was when Chance was still deeply affected by her previous life, was lost and was yet trying to coop with Equestria.

Second act started when Chance started feeling much more comfortable, and regained good amounts of memories. Also Twilight making discoveries.

This is supposed to be the beginning of the third act (which is said to be the final).... To be honest, I cannot see how this story can end in the third act. There are so many things to be discovered!

If this novel gonna end in act 3, you, Starscribe, better not forget to write the sequel... I am Fortuna's favorite child, and Luna knows what Fortuna does to those I am mad at... :pinkiecrazy:


By the way, loved the portrayal of Discord. And, his ability to get into others' mind, that's cool!

Wow this story is well written, toys with your emotions but in a subtle way up and down, up and down.

Once I saw it asking for Chance's DNA I knew it would activate the moment that she touched it

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds!"

Is this a quote from something else, because "I am become" sounds pretty funny.
You know, one would think that Discord, apparently being all powerful with an unmatched magical sense that could pick Chance up across town and being able to easily read minds while also being around to witness the fall of countless worlds would not be a defeatable foe for the girls. Like, when the Mane6 approached him with the elements just before blasting him, he must have sensed his magic was no longer messing with their heads and that he should either take the necklaces from them or teleport away, yet he just sits there and does nothing.
I guess it's pointless trying to understand the embodiment of chaos.

4504975 The quote is from the guy who invented the atomic bomb. He said it when they first tested it.

Achievement Get: Aquire Cutie Mark
:pinkiehappy:

Your interpretation of Discord is fucked to hell. At least the mind rape was useful.

I'm confused as to how exactly the war was not internal to humanity. Are you saying it was aliens? A machine war? King Richard and his coterie seem to be all synthetic.

"For this to work, I've got to rearrange your insides a bit. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

Did Discord just...

"Greetings, user Kimberly. I understand we are going to save the human race together."

Yes, yes he did. Given the previously described capabilities of the cube, that pretty much means all bets are off. You completely skip over the recursive tools problem with the proper fabricator on hand.

>You and Alexi were the only ones with certs' high enough
y u apostrophe

>It was the last hug her mother had ever gave her
*given

>Same as its ever been, in every world
*it's

4572747

...and he was also quoting (emphasis mine):

Oppenheimer later recalled that, while witnessing the explosion, he thought of a verse from the Hindu holy book, the Bhagavad Gita (XI,12):

If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one ...[5][108]

Years later he would explain that another verse had also entered his head at that time: namely, the famous verse: "kālo'smi lokakṣayakṛtpravṛddho lokānsamāhartumiha pravṛttaḥ" (XI,32),[109] which he translated as "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."[note 2]

In 1965, he was persuaded to quote again for a television broadcast:

We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.[3]

-- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Robert_Oppenheimer

Neat Discord is being cool apart from mind raping a filly. :rainbowwild:

5709141

We've never seen them eat meat, but we have seen them eat eggs, milk, and cheese. This indicates they're vegetarians, but not vegans. Real horses can eat eggs too, believe it or not.

I could have sworn this was longer when I last read this.
Wasn't there a plot about changelings and stuff?
Edit:NVM. A/Ns don't show up on html versions of fica, si I didn't realize.
Eh, no big loss. I got lost around that point anyway.

5783645
Yeah, A/Ns can display strangely sometimes. You wouldn't have been the only one to get lost in the middle there, which is why I decided to clean up the story and rewrite that back into the way I had originally intended. You can read it here. I'd certainly encourage you to take a long if you enjoyed the first sixteen chapters of MLA.

5724934
While I can't dispute that this was an unpopular choice, I did have my reasons for it.

So believe it or not, many scientists believe that nature purposefully selected for long childhoods in humans because our enormously long childhood period gives us a significant advantage. Indeed, these evolutionary psychologists believe that it is only BECAUSE humans have a childhood so long compared to other species that we were able to be so successful.

Here's one excellent article on the subject if you're curious. If you've got a hundred dollars lying around, there's this excellent textbook that I no way pirated and totally purchased legally when I read it, honest.

The reasoning for this is complex, but I'll summarize it in a line or two. Children aren't stupid and they don't lack in development, not really. In reality, children have an extremely high plasticity. They very easily learn new languages and information, and they very easily adapt to changing situations and retain information they're taught.

We don't have any time machines, so as of yet science can't be certain exactly how we evolved intelligence while other species didn't. However, many think that long childhoods were connected to this process. As we relied more and more on our intelligence to survive, making tools and improving language and hunting techniques, the survival of an individual became directly connected to their ability to learn those things. As a result, nature gave us fantastically long childhoods, so that we might learn everything we need in that time to be successful as adults.

In all things biological there is a point of diminishing returns, however, we know so little about how ponies could've evolved to begin with that it's impossible for us to say the strategy that worked for early humans couldn't have worked even better for them. Coupled with the fact that the primary defense strategy of a quadruped like a horse is to run away from danger, and their foals are quite good at this (even though they'll be much better as adults), there's no reason this couldn't be the case. Different from earth? Sure. But a childhood of about 10 years isn't the universal natural length for all creatures in the universe just because it's the one we happened to end up with.

5888889
Fixed it! Sorry about that.

*Adds a Prologue to a finished story* http://puu.sh/hMDca/008d371525.png *gets featured?*

5975848
Can't say I expected that to happen. If I'd known it would, I probably would've posted in the morning instead of late at night before going to bed. *shrug.* The many mysteries of the featured algorithm, hallowed be its name.

5975859
Thanks! I intended to write it to begin with the first, but I didn't really know what was going on enough at the time, and I ended up throwing it out. It's been a long time coming.

5976071
Thanks! It's one of those really abstract, non-concrete ideas, but... it was written entirely after 3AM. Maybe Luna helped.

5976513
I can't say I entirely agree with the aspects about earth, which is why I'm going to keep it where it is. I made a special effort not to give away anything specific about Chance's Earth, except that she lived on the moon. We don't know anything about the conflict, about why earth was destroyed or what happened there, and we're free to learn that as the story progresses.

I totally agree with what you said about her name, though. I've revised the prologue not to include any references to it. I think it would be best after all not to learn that until things start to get down.

5976813
I know this has already been said, but in point of fact...

1. The story wasn't deleted with nothing to replace it. You can find the replacement here.
2. I didn't make the original version inaccessible. I figured plenty of people would still be interested in the old version. If you expand the description for the story, you'll find at the bottom links to the old version, both in HTML or to read it online on my DeviantArt page.

5977140
The feel might be changing in other minor ways as I continue my revision of this story, but the jury's still out

My apologies then. I thought the link to the old version would be in the author's note in the prologue, where the deletion of these chapters was announced. My bad.

5979995

Crap, that's a good idea. I'll put a link to the old version in there too.

I'm curious as to the nature of Earth and humanity in this story.
Is the Earth you used you're own idea or is it based on another?
I would love to know what inspired your version of humanity in this story as well.

5986261
I've always felt we were in serious need of an answer to that question. We always knew from both Luna and Chance that they made some sort of connection upon Chance's arrival, but we never knew any more than that. I think that perhaps now we might.


5990825
I hope the rest of it turns out to be as enjoyable as what you read so far. Pity I'm not done with the textual revisions, but I still think the story can stand without them.


5991580
An interesting question. The short answer is that the earth itself is my idea. The long answer is that, while I was introduced to the MLP fandom through threads on /co very early on, my introduction to the fanfiction came when a friend pointed me at The Conversion Bureau, and the work of Chatoyance. While I greatly enjoyed the stories, my background in economics screamed in frustration almost constantly when they were on earth. Such as the way humanity had "run out" of every resource, as if we would in the future gain the power to violate the laws of thermodynamics and destroy matter.

I harbor no ill-will for her (or any other author for that matter). Reading all of that inspired me. I wanted to know "based on technologies likely to emerge in the next hundred years, and based on a functional knowledge of economics, how might dystopian conditions with a similarly bleak outlook for humanity's survival actually develop? Additionally, while I wanted to stay faithful to every drop of scientific fact I understand, I also did not want to come down making value judgements on humanity as a whole.

All that pressure combined to create the Earth and human cultures we see in My Little Apprentice, Apogee, Harmony Defended, Pax Humana, and a host of other stories that may or may not ever be written. While I have read many of the works of classic sci-fi, as well as watching most of the major TV shows, I couldn't say any one of them was a specific inspiration. It was more like "Here's the list of technologies we're likely to perfect in a hundred year's time. How would they alter society?" More often than not, the forecast new technologies give us seem to be optimistic. That's why, before the war, the outlook for humanity was optimistic as well.

If that betrays a bias, that I think that maybe there is some inherent good in people and that humans will succeed together more often than they fail, then maybe that's a bias I'm not upset to admit to.

Login or register to comment