• Member Since 14th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2021

IamaDeadUser


Comments ( 48 )

It got written! :heart:
Oh, this is going to be good.

4068309
I hope it pleases you.

This pleases me...

That was hawt.
I love me some animal on female action, especially if it is rape.
operatorchan.org/m/src/138671339014.jpg

GUTS WOULD NOT APPROVE OF THIS.

4068710
Oh you're right...
Damn.
To repent for my sins I should go sit on the Dragonslayer...

This... needs a tragedy tag.

4069204
Actually it probably does...

Then again I'm tempted to use it as a prologue for another fic sometime in the future which would mean I would have to remove it. I don't know, I may add the tag later.

I have the strong urge to suggest that a Morgan Freeman-like characyer comes from the woods and frees her.

I wonder who the wolf rider is...

4068325 And here I am expecting the goblin's to execute her in the end... Not sure if disappointed or not, because the 'festival' seems barbaric enough to happen if two countries are at war.

Nice job. :twilightsmile:

4072069
What would they execute her for? That would be letting her off easy.

This is good, but Zecora seems to have been forgotten between now and the first chapter. Also, the clop is way way short. You should really try lengthening it.

4073600
Okay, I may go through and revise it at some point, when I get enough spare time.

4073648 don't revise unless you really think you need to.

4073676
Being honest I felt like Zecora had faded into the background by part 3 but I didn't correct it. But I won't be revising it for quite a while, due to upcoming exams.

4072666

If you had to put it in perspective, imagine the goblins are a religious extremist group/cult. If they had the opportunity to execute a well-known religious figure, or priestess in this case, they would celebrate the execution as a holy sacrifice.

I've had to think that over long and hard for my (WIP) Unity Series because the cult is controlling the war from the background, while their members fight for the different tribes.

4077358
If that was the case then yes they would execute her. However, the goblins here don't hate the Zebra's religion, the White is only seeking vengeance on Zecora because she and her brother forced their way through border checkpoints.
The war itself was started because of a heavy amount of racism for the goblins. They would capture zebras and make them slaves, often giving them to their wolves for doing a ppor job. The Riders would often hand zebras over to their mounts as a treat, improving their relationship and making the wolf less likely to turn on it's rider.

4077396

It better resembles two other instances in history. The Roman Empire, and the feuds between the Europeans and Aboriginal. Although I understand the idea of creating a bond between rider and mount, the festival seems like a method of disposal that is meant to entertain and breed fear.

Sure the scene you wrote put Zecora in an inviting position, but if they wanted revenge it would be both messier, and painful, if she was shackled in the pit during feeding. Perhaps even throwing a few goblins in that ad displeased The White. Show the readers why the goblins fear him more then like him.

4077496
I never said these goblins rule on fear, after all that seems to fall apart quite often. The White, while sadistical, isn't evil and will only punish those who deserve it. One purpose of this festival was to show Zecora what she and her race are to the goblins. Nothing but animals. Hence why the zebra are fighting against the goblins.

4077556

I never said these goblins rule on fear, after all that seems to fall apart quite often.

.. which is why dictators are noneexistent in present day society... (Snarky know-it-all moment.)

As you'd mentioned in the third chapter, a goblin hierarchy is portrayed that seems to revolve around who is deemed fit to ride a wolf. Going along with that, they could be considered the equivalence of upper class, or the Gestapo, directly under the White. Even if the White was a terrible and unfair ruler, he simply needs to direct the goblins anger at another, like Hitler had, to qualm unwanted uprisings.

The wolf riders would be then selected and lead to believe they are better then their kin, perhaps for a trait, before they do a 'heroic' act that instills how much worse it would be if the White wasn't in charge. Like how a Zebra priestess, and escorts, invaded their lands and slaughtered their way through the borders before they captured the murderess.

It simply takes a small pack of riders visiting the border under nightfall, and a few well-placed rumours, for the lie to become truth.

As for portraying Zebras as animals, forcing them to become beasts of labour would've sufficed. Chains and the cruel lash of the whip to break the common spoils of a siege, while the priestesses are forced to survive in a coliseum for the goblins's enjoyment. Releasing the wolves into the arena to 'dispose' of the loser after the victor is dragged back into their cell.

4080017
Quickly going back to the original point of Zecora not being executed, the story may have ended but the festival was still only just starting, she will be left in the wolf pit for the rest of the day and longer. The goblins gave Zecora to the wolves to do with as they pleased though they didn't want her dying straight away so they prepared her to prevent the insta-death.

While the White may have been bigging up the tale slightly, the core of it was still the same and Zecora's brother did pull her through the border but as a distraction for her to slip by.

Any goblin has the potential to be a wolf rider but to do so they need to prove they have to work towards it by proving themselves on the battlefield. The wolf rider elites are raised alongside a wolf and are taught to train it and ride it when it grows large enough. The White is an example of an elite, but they are few in number unless you go into the frontlines of the war between the zebra and the goblins.

The White himself isn't the highest ranking goblin but is an elite who the king/warchief has allowed to leave to his own devices.

4081855
The White's real role hadn't been mentioned, or hinted at in the form you mention, in the story. He is displayed as the highest authority to me and the other readers.

As for the festival scene discussion, I still think having a gladitorial fight would be more benificial, especially if your

I'm tempted to use it as a prologue for another fic sometime in the future

, comment holds true. Who says Zecora's brother isn't, or won't be, captured in said future story. Having one of the siblings as a broken combat slave that fights the other is an interesting addition.

4096963
The White is the highest rank within the settlement in this story, so what I've presented is enough to serve the necessary purpose.

While Gladiatorial combat is all fine and dandy, the psychological effects would be completely different. The combat would breed a determination to survive and fight whatever is thrown their way, where as the method used in the story will implant a sense of worthlessness as the prisoners have no choice but accept their punishment and their is no way to fight back or escape.

4097025
Surprisingly, it was often the opposite for beginning fighters. Many gladiators were watched carefully before the day of their fights because they were prone to suicide. Most veteran slave fighters usually adapted to their new roles by adopting an aggressive sociopathic psyche because toying with the weaker and inexperienced fighters before killing them would lead to rewards from their handlers.

The end is kind of abrupt. It was well written and I did enjoy it, but I can't really see that being a proper ending, it kinda feels like I should just be rolling into the next chapter. Good story, but I think it should have more. :twilightsmile:

4122253
I have a rough idea for what the final chapter could be so when I have time I'll get around to writing that.

4122257 oh...well its confusing cause your story is marked as "complete"

4122268
It's only because a few people have told me that it seems unfinished that I've started to think about the new chapter. Until I actually start to write the next chapter, I'll leave it as complete.

Racism and the removal of understanding that the opposition is equally sapient. Is this set in South Africa or are there just some issues luking in the background?

4528301
In my mind, this is set in the goblins country which is placed in between Equestria and Zebrica. The goblins and Zebra are at odds with each other, but not at war quite yet. The Zebra don't believe themselves powerful enough to fight back and a lot of them are captured during goblin raids.

Thinking about it, the goblins are essentially European slave traders in the Africa's. They just don't sell the slaves they catch.

4530405

It's more disturbing than the usual examples just because there is such a clear racial component. Having a villain named The White just adds to the disbelief I feel. It's quite... well, it certainly has an effect.

4530644
I honestly hadn't thought of that particular connection at the time but it's a little prominent now that I have noticed it...

4531434

Sometimes our ideas get ahead of our contemplations. It's quite dramatic. The thing for me, and this is strictly personal, is how dirty it is. The world is just filthy, wild dirty and muck and slime and all that. It's a personal thing that sucks out the eroticism.

4531812
It's a shame but unfortunately it's not something I can do anything to change it. I do however have a few more ideas and plans for future fics, I just need to develop my current one before I move onto a new idea.

4531880
Hopefully. Also, thanks for reading it despite your partial horror towards the unintentional theme.

oh i do hope things start to look up for Zecora

5056496
If I actually get around to writing it, there will only be one more chapter to this fic, but it's probably some time away.

5063094
oh ok still i wonder how it will end

This fic was utter gold. Please return :3

I NEED MORE!!!PLEASE!!!!

I NEED MORE!!!PLEASE!!!!

Honestly, i'd be willing to do a fic trade for a continuation. Maybe a few of us could pitch in. For every chapter that's released, we promise a chapter of a fic IamaDeadUser wants. Some incentive would be nice? ;)

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