Chapter 6
Chapter 6
“Well, did you?” Rarity continued, still all smiles and excitement. Graves, unable to think of any way out short of outright lying, simply pulled his hat over his face and gave a slight, shameful nod.
The squeal of delight Rarity unleashed had half the restaurant staring at her, but for once, it seemed like she actually didn’t care.
“I can’t believe it!” she gasped, actually fanning herself as if she might faint any second. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that!"
“… You have?” Graves asked, now quite confused and really unsure of how to react.
“My goodness yes!” the young lady continued. “You don’t know how much I absolutely adore that book, but I simply haven’t had anyone to talk to. Rainbow Dash won’t go anywhere near it, and Twilight calls it a bunch of fluff and nonsense not to be bothered with.”
“I see…”
“So, what did you think?” Rarity asked as she leaned in, looking even more excited than Sweetie Belle ever had. “Did you like it?”
“I’d… um… rather not talk about it,” Graves mumbled as he scratched the back of his head.
“But why not?” Rarity asked, rather taken aback.
“I’d just rather not,” he mumbled as his voice dropped even lower.
“Really,” Rarity sighed. “Here I thought we were two like-minded individuals who could share opinions on all sorts of topics, and here you are, saying that… Graves, are you all right?” The violet-haired girl paused, now peering on him with concern. “You look rather ill, are you feeling…” A second glance, however, caused her eyes to widen in shock as she figured out the truth. “My goodness, marshal, you couldn’t be! Graves, are you actually… blushing?!”
Indeed, despite his slouch and the hat pulled low, strong crimson coloring could clearly be seen all over his face as he sat there stewing in his own mortification.
“Can we drop it?” he muttered, his voice so low it was almost impossible to understand.
“But why?” the young lady asked in genuine puzzlement.
“Well, it’s kind of a girly book,” Graves mumbled. “Talking about it’s just… embarrassing.”
Rarity was decidedly stunned by the marshal’s suddenly blunt statement: she certainly hadn’t been expecting anything like that. But then she just smiled, still amused, but also rather sympathetic at the same time.
“Honestly, marshal, you hunt some of the most dangerous creatures in the world on a regular basis, and yet you’re afraid of discussing a novel? Doesn’t that strike you as a bit silly?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” he conceded, but Rarity pressed on.
“And even if you didn’t – hunt dangerous creatures that is – why should you be afraid to admit you’ve read a romance novel? Is there something wrong with them?”
“Not in themselves, but guys just aren’t not supposed to like them.”
“Why is that?”
“Because…”
“Because?”
“You know… just because.”
Rarity sighed.
“Graves, that’s just about the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. I’d expect something like this out of Spike, being young as he is, but you should know better.”
“Well, it is embarrassing,” he mumbled sullenly.
A hint of amusement flashed across her pretty face. It seemed like the marshal, much like most boys, was quite caught up in the macho image of what a man should and shouldn’t like. Yet as adorable as his blushing cheeks were, Rarity really did want to discuss her favorite novel with the young marshal. What to do, what to do?
Suddenly, she was struck with inspiration. Get a man riled up about something, and he’ll charge in without a thought for anything else: boys were so charmingly simple in that sense. If Graves was acting so juvenile and silly in one way, then perhaps…
“But you did enjoy reading it, didn’t you?” Rarity asked with a coaxing smile. Grudgingly, the marshal nodded. “Who was your favorite character?”
“… Princess Rosalia,” he said, which elicited another surge of blood to his cheeks.
“Really?” Rarity continued innocently, “I would have put you as a fan of Prince Lucius.” She was pleased, if a bit taken aback, to find the marshal actually scoffed at this.
“Please, that blowhard? He spouts off pretty words and steals the credit.”
“He most certainly does not!” Rarity replied with mock outrage. “He was a fine gentleman and a man of noble character. It’s a shame he didn’t marry Princess Magdalene in the end.”
“What?” Graves sat forward in his seat, his burning fan spirit starting to overpower his embarrassment. “That would have been awful. The Knight Albion was the best match for her, and you know it.”
With twinkle of mischief in her sapphire eyes, the young beauty smiled as she coaxed the marshal from his shell with one last prod.
“Prove it.”
And Graves did, or at least began to, with great gusto. He didn’t even notice Rarity’s satisfied smile at reeling him into the conversation, just as planned. He simply charged ahead, fervently lecturing and proselytizing about a book that only moments ago, he’d been too embarrassed to even mention.
But soon, the young lady was just as caught up as he, and as the two went back and forth in a heated debate about an apparently very mutually appreciated novel. Neither even noticed the oddly dancing bush just twenty feet way.
*****
“Ooh, ooh, was that it?” Sweetie Belle whispered excitedly, almost bouncing up and down despite the bush’s confining space. “Did that count as the interest thingy in the rules?”
“Ew, not likely,” Scootaloo said with a disgusted face. “There’s no way those mushy love books can be anywhere near interesting.”
“That’s just yer opinion,” Apple Bloom retorted as she stuck her tongue out. “I think that definitely counts as them sharin' interests, and that makes it three!”
“Great!” Sweetie Belle beamed. “Now all we need to do is tie them up and douse them!”
“But how do we do that?” Scootaloo asked. “It’s not like we can just charge them now and truss them up in the middle of the street.”
“Don’t worry,” Apple Bloom grinned, “I already got that all figured out. Come on girls, this way!”
*****
The café waiter came and went, replacing the tepid cup of coffee with a fresh, hot one. Again.
By now, the restaurants other patrons had long since cleared out, but neither Graves nor Rarity really cared. They were far too engrossed with their conversation to worry about the atmosphere.
“But surely you must admit that Rosalia and Damian were a much more likely couple,” the pretty seamstress protested.
“As friends, yes,” the marshal countered. “But they were too similar.”
“But similarities are the basis of any relationship,” the young lady insisted. “While it’s true that opposites do attract, there also has to be compatibility through similarity, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Compatibility, yes,” Graves conceded, “which involves balance. Rosalia and Damian were both stubborn and hot-headed. They make great friends, but as a couple? They’d probably kill each other before week’s end.”
“You do have a point there,” Rarity giggled. “It’d be like Applejack and Rainbow Dash together: if they did anything besides argue, I’d eat my hat.”
“Er... yeah,” Graves agreed hesitantly. “Guess that works.”
Both Rarity and Graves settled back in their seats, as both had been leaning in for their intense discussion for the better part of an hour now. Arms folded below her breasts, Rarity looked over the marshal once more, appraising him as if she saw him anew once more.
“You really are quite a remarkable man,” she said, sounding rather bemused.
“Really?” he asked, “How so?”
“When I found out you’d also read The Lovely Romance of the Three Kingdoms , I expected a lively discussion, but I never would have dreamed you’d have such depth to your opinions from only reading it once.”
“Yeah, about that…” Graves began, color coming back to his cheeks as he absent-mindedly thumbed his nose,. “It wasn’t exactly once.”
“Really?” Rarity asked, interest piqued. “How many times then?”
“… Maybe five or six?”
“Marshal Graves, are you serious?” she asked as she fought to restrain her laughter. “How did that come about?”
“Teammate I used to travel with recommended it. Wouldn’t stop badgering me till I read it. So, I gave it a try.”
“And?” Rarity pressed, still grinning in delight.
“It wasn’t bad,” he answered evasively, his face now bright red once again. “And you can’t get new books in the field too often, so I just… hung onto it for a bit. That’s all.”
“Personally, I think it’s wonderful that you can appreciate a good love story,” the young beauty said with an encouraging smile. “Too many men these days seem all caught up with the machismo of being a man and end up missing out on the finer things in life just because they think it’s embarrassing.”
“It is embarrassing,” the marshal insisted.
“And why should it be?” she countered. “If I can wear combat boots and camo, why can’t a man enjoy a good romance novel?” Graves stared at her in abject skepticism.
“You? In camo and combat boots?”
“But of course,” Rarity replied coolly, as if military garbs were her modus operandi. “I don’t do it often, but they do bring out certain ensembles and make them simply fabulous. It’s all a matter of wearing it with confidence.”
“Confidence,” the marshal repeated flatly.
“Exactly. If I wear something unconventional and act self-consciously, people will see my outfit as awkward and unbecoming. But, if I wear the same outfit with confidence, the very same people will see it as bold and original, daresay even avant-garde.”
“Sounds a bit too simple,” the young marshal said, still unconvinced. Rarity just smiled.
“I thought you might say that. You see Graves, from what I’ve seen of you, you –”
“–Hiya, Rarity!”
“–Hey, Mister Graves!”
“–Yo, wassup again?”
The two diners almost fell back in their seats (again) as Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo once again popped up beside their table, all three grinning like Twilight before a week long research project.
“Sw-Sweetie Belle,” Rarity gasped, left hand over her pounding heart, “you really have to stop doing that.”
“Oops, sorry, Rarity,” the little girl grinned sheepishly. “We’re just here because we need your help.”
“Help?” her older sister asked once she was more composed. “What do you need help with?”
“Well you see, Rarity,” Apple Bloom began, “we were playin' in yer back yard, when we found this really weird lookin' rock.”
“A rock,” the seamstress repeated flatly. “You need help with a rock.”
“More like figuring out what it is,” Scootaloo clarified. “It’s all weird looking, and we figured since you’re so good with gems and stuff, you might be able to tell us what it is.”
“Well, I do know a thing or two about precious stones,” Rarity said as she tried to hide her pleasure at the compliment. “I suppose I could help you girls out.”
“Ooh, can Graves come too?” Sweetie Belle added on, causing the marshal to blink.
“Me? Why do need me?” The three girls looked at each other.
“Because, well, this rock…” Apple Bloom began.
“…was sort of weird looking…” Sweetie Belle continued.
“…but it’s more than just weird looking…” Scootaloo added.
“…because it was… er…” Apple Bloom stalled.
“…moving!”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned to stare at Sweetie Belle. She just smiled.
“Moving,” Rarity repeated with a healthy dose of skepticism. “The rock was… moving.”
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom agreed with a weak smile. “It was sort of… you know… scuttling around."
“Scuttling,” Graves stated flatly. Scootaloo nodded.
“Yup. Sort of like a crab.” And to illustrate, the little tomboy began shuffling from side to side and clapping her fingers much like such a crustacean would. Both the marshal and the seamstress just stared at her, then leaned in to deliberate.
“Something about this seems awfully odd,” Rarity whispered.
“Could be rock turtles,” Graves replied, catching the sweet smell of lavender from the young lady. “Uncommon, but not exactly rare. Maybe they found one?”
“Perhaps,” she sighed in concession. “I suppose we had better go take a look.” Separating again, Rarity turned to their diminutive audience.
“Alright girls, let’s go have a look at this… rock of yours.”
**********
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I LOVE IT!!!! Next chapter will get funnier i guess. Keep on rolling my friend
and then they found out Tom had a son
rock turtles!?
I must have one.
412810>>412802
The rock turtle: illegitimate child of Tom and his mistress, Senora Shells. Theirs was a love that simply could not be.
413039
I think you have your next fic!
Rock turtles. Because turtles are to mainstream.
414098
You know what? I think you're right.
And in the immortalized words of Rarity: "IDEEEAAAAAA!!!!!" 
"You do have a point there,” Rarity giggled. “It’d be like Applejack and Rainbow Dash together: if they did anything besides argue, I’d eat my hat.”
That's a nice little dig at my favorite ship, thanks.
Great chapter, loving every moment of it.
OH GAWD, SO MANY IMAGES FLASHING IN MY BRAIN
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxtykyxm391qb9gax.gif
414840
Lol! Actually, I have nothing against it. I just felt like being a bit of a troll there.
415358
... is that good?
416159 i dunno you tell me... to me, it's good
416227
In that case, bene! Molto bene!
Rock Turtle....... Lesser known cousin to the Rock Lobster?
Ah poor Graves, he has fallen into what society dictates to be the only true way to be masculine, being macho, strong, and pretty much not doing anything that would be seen as feminine. Though he is still capable of being saved if Rarity goes about it right, which she seems to be doing just fine. This chapter has a good lesson to be learned, shame society can't seem to figure it out, otherwise I'll bet you anything we would see crime rates drop a decent amount.
413039>>414098 You need to write this.
Lol at the CMC, and if the romance novel is MLP, then that'd make Graves a brony.
“–Yo, wassup again?”
....
-Delta-
“Prove it.”
... Umm, Rares, I think the words you were looking for were 'Check and Mate.' (Checkmate)
If I wear something unconventional and act self consciously, people will see my outfit as awkward and unbecoming. But, if I wear the same outfit with confidence, the very same people will see it as bold and original, daresay even avant-garde.
tl;dr, it's so true... As long as you look confident, if anyone else doesn't like it, they'll wonder what's wrong with themselves, rather than what's wring with you, since you're confident. (I know from experience. I wore no tie and jeans to my Senior Prom... Got a lot of compliments. (And I'm a big guy, it's not like I'm good looking...) It's all about making a look for yourself, and looking confident, and you're good.
Okay three things, first: I really didn't want to comment on anything until I'd caught up with the whole story but...
Second: this story is hilarious. It's like a trainwreck in slow motion. Only funny. You know, we can see it coming from miles away, and each chapter just reminds us how bad it's going to be, and it just keeps getting closer until finally...Rarity and Graves are tired to a pole and getting water dumped on them.
Third: since I had to say the second thing I might as well add that "scuttling rocks" reminded me of the movie Apollo 18. A decent horror movie, if you check your logic at the door.
Man Law #78: No man should admit to liking a romance novel because he is not nor ever will be a romantic. If a man does admit to liking a romance novel, all men that he is friends with must take him to a strip club and keep him there for 48 hrs. minimum. Said man must also pay for the entire venture.
I would never pay for something so crass as a venture to a strip club. It's just a vile practice.
rock........tom..........wait............ITS A TRAP!
As a first time reader of this series, I predict an actual rock turtle to make an appearance.
"read" --> "watched"? Hmm... something I think a lot of us have experienced for ourselves.
1305107 hahahahaha then its a good thing that my closest friends are machines.
1969112 gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/its_a_trap.gif
Oh dear, where is Admiral Ackbar when you need him?
5074385 Eyup.
Considering the type off people who just read this quote, this is the most hilarious thing I've read in months.
5373645 yeah, I had a similar argument about about who was a better match for spike, rarity or twilight
I said rarity
We went on for three hours before someone yelled for us to kiss
That ended the debate cold
That is my life with my friends
Wow... The girls are trying reaaaaaalllly hard on these two....
You wonder why men "don't" like romance novels? Dammitt, Rarity, don't you get it? No? Here, I'll spell it out in song:
The Romance Novel's for porn!
The Romance Novel's for porn!
So, grab your dick,
And double-page flip for
Porn, PORN, POOOORN
This is going to go like all of Wile E. Coyote's traps, isn't it? With at least one of the characters plummeting into a gorge and end up a puff cloud.
7690987
Well done. Enjoy a mustache.
7690987
I read the ones without porn. Could just be me though.