• Member Since 7th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen May 27th

pmcollectorboy


I'm a thirty something truck driver who lives in the San Antonio area. I'm a big time brony and a fan of Rarity. I hope you all enjoy my stories.

Comments ( 73 )

You've DEFIDENTLY peaked my interest and intruistic desire.........

HIT ME WITH YA BEST SHOT!!!!!

4020494
Oh wow. Thanks for everybody's positive response. This went way better than I ever imagined, and I wasn't even sure I could properly pull off a clopfic. I won't be writing too many clops in my fanfic writing career. Just a couple here and there whenever the mood suits me. But I am encouraged.

For the love of Celestia stop calling it his little boy part. Call it a penis or a phallus, but don't call it that :facehoof: It sounds so bad.

4020905
Meh. I hate the anatomical words. They're so... doctor-y.

4020956 Virility, or just allude to what it is then.

I think that Twilight is being too much of a protective mother and with Spike's new found hormones he is trying to hard to get Rarity's attention. And we are still not completely sure what Rarity is think. Things are quickly setting up to be a massive train wreak.

4021236

Yep to the first one, ditto on the second one.

For the first one: Let's face facts; Twilight has now seen Spike in teenage form. His growth spurt has come in. So now she's having feelings for Spike that is decidely not of a sister-brother feeling. Hell, her little fantasy in the shower is starting to show that. And also Twilight believes that Rarity's still stringing Spike on because of his crush on her, and frankly, it's pissing her off and being mad at Spike and Rarity for their actions. She has never experienced a crush before, so obviously her way to keep Spike for herself is to act as the protective older sibling.

And ditto: Spike just had his first ejac in that outhouse. And you have to know that he's starting to have grown-up thoughts about Rarity and himself. I think he's seeing it as how Rarity sees others, especially stallions. And he's jealous because he wants to be Rarity's man. Completely normal for him to be envious of basically any stallion that is giving Rarity more than just a wink and a glance. Puberty has come in, obviously. But a part of him also knows that Rarity probably can get any male she wants, so he wonders constantly as to why Rarity is still courteous and happy for him, even though Spike is obviously a dragon, not a stallion?

Based on the fact that right at the end, it looks like Rarity caught Twilight clopping in the shower, as well as we can see that Spike has secretly seen it too, and that Rarity knows that Spike has read her steamy novel and can get a little bit of an idea as to what Spike may be dreaming, the next chapter or two is gonna be confrotation city for all three of them.... IT's either gonna end up as a bit of a fight, or a threesome. I'm calling for it.

I'm absolutely in awe at the speed you guys read at. XD

Someone needs to give spike a thorough sex education and quick.

Can't wait to see where this goes.

OMG THIS IS SO GOOD MORE PLZ also faved this story idk why but i really like spike shipping stories

The way Rarity blushed at Sky Sparks makes me wonder what she did last night with him after dinner.

4020956 I agree with the great Path_of_cloud. Saying little boy parts makes you sound like you're 3 yrs old.

After reading this chapter I'm guessing Rarity had sex with Sky Sparks on the train after knowing im for all of like an hour.

Please tell me this isn't gonna end up as a shit on Spike fic where Rarity and Twilight end up together.

Its a shame that so few people have read this:(

4021441 I'm glad you agree with me. From the looks of things Rarity does hold a special place in her heart for Spike. Whether or not it is love we don't know for certain. And from the looks of it Twilight is getting aroused about Spike, while she probably still views him as her brother she appears to be okay with incest. Not only that but Spike is still pretty much confused about his puberty and we're not sure on Rarity's stands in everything. It's a safe bet that Sky will be a problem later on and it's probably not a good idea to stand in the way of what a pissed off, hormonal dragon wants. They will have to talk about this and the way things stand at the moment there is a good chance of it end with either somebody blowing their top or a massive three way fucking.

4022890

I honestly don't know, either, that is suspicious as hell. I know it's not a murder mystery, but Rarity doesn't have an alibi....and we discover that Sky Sparks is just another hormonal, handsome stallion that has set eyes on Rarity as yet another conquest. (Thank you omipotent third person view :yay:)


4022905

There's still a lot to sort through, my friend. Feelings are starting to show out. Plus we have to remember, both Twilight and Rarity (though Twilight has deeper feelings at first glance) have favorably taken a liking to Spike's new form. Plus there is still that present that Rarity made for Spike from chapter 2, I think. I know what you're thinking--"So what?! Rarity makes gifts for Spike all the time, just for being her assistant." Yes, that's true, but I also think that it's an obvious clue why this particular gift is so meticulously wrapped and signed. Rarity could have easily given Spike that present once on the train, or before when Twi and Spike agreed to join Rarity on her trip. Maybe I'm looking too hard into it, but to me, that's significant.

Honestly, while I love the idea behind this, the story is starting to annoy me.

They all seem OOC (especially the way Twilight has been acting), and right now it seems this entire story is filled with bad drama (as in, drama for the sake of drama). What's the point of Sky Sparks being in the story? Yes, I get that he's there to create drama (which is being done rather poorly), but the problem is that the whole thing feels completely contrived. Sky Sparks hasn't even tried to hide what a horrible personality he has (to the point of yelling at and insulting Twilight, Spike and Rarity), yet Rarity seems like an oblivious moron. Prince Blueblood, who she couldn't even stand, was less of a jerk than Sky Sparks.

Basically, the entire plot of this story started falling apart the moment Sky Sparks was introduced, because it absolutely destroys my suspension of disbelief to think that Rarity wouldn't have told him off the moment he so much as opened his mouth. The fact that she hasn't, and still seems interested after the way he's acted makes me pretty much lose all interest in the story.

Honestly, I wish you hadn't included him for the sake of needless drama. Spike growing closer to both Twilight and Rarity (preferably without the random OOC moments) would have been a great enough story, but what's happening now is more irritating than interesting.

"Were I even in a better mood, I'm afraid I would still have to turn you down!" Rarity shouted. "Now I'm in a bit of a stormy mood, and I haven't had any fun since arriving at this soiree. I'm going to have to excuse myself and head back towards my cabin. Thank you for keeping my cart safe."

Yes! This is what she should have said the moment he opened his mouth several chapters ago. The fact that it actually took this long despite the way he was acting is just crazy. But at least the story is no longer forcing her to be ridiculously oblivious for the sake of dram-

"Very well," she said. "Tomorrow morning at the top of the west slope. Say ten o' clock?"

:facehoof:

Why would she do that? Why, after everything he's done, would she go and do that? What's worse, I suspect I know where this is leading, and I really hope you don't take this story down that path.

Maybe I'm just nitpicking, but I think it's because I love the rest of the story. You're a great writer; the spelling and grammar are great, the dialogue is great and in-character, the descriptions are great, and everything just flows together very well. That's why I wish this entire thing with Sky had not been done, because it's pretty much the only weak link in the story. The problem is that it's a pretty large weak link.

Well thank you all for the words of the praise and the odd criticisms as well. I've never tried clop before, and then when I DO attempt one, this one turns out to be my most commented on and most voted upon, and you guys even put it into the popular box. ^_^
I guess I'm still a bit clumsy at this. I don't plan on making it a habit to write clop, although I do like touchy and thorny topics. I mostly try to write meaningful stories. Even in this clopfic, I try to put some meaning into it. It just feels weird getting all this traffic on a genre that I'm new at where my older stories seem barely noticed at all. I will try extra hard on the further chapters and make sure the story ends happily and remains entertaining throughout.

I don't think you have to worry about this story being noticed at least if you are concerned about how many viewer seeing it.

I added this to the Spike Fanfictions group, if you don't mind. I felt that it needs to be shown to a bigger audience. :twilightsmile:

This story's really good! Probably the first clopfic without sex in every chapter to keep my attention for this long, which is saying something! Good on ya! I'm loving it so far!

>weeze
wheeze*

Man, my heart was pounding yet the last part of the chapter settled the fears.

This is pretty legit. :moustache:

Spike quickly rubbed his face to dry his eyes but managed to smear some of the sticky liquid on his face. "Um... Okay, Rarity! I'm coming!"

Oh, you dog. "Coming" :raritywink:

4031328 Seeing how it was you who posted this story to the group, are you sure that this is a Spilight story or a Polyamory with a few parts of Spilight in it?

You've won an all expense paid trip to the beautiful 'a winter resort', located on the pristine slopes of 'a mountain'. :rainbowlaugh:
Seriously, you need a name for this place, constantly calling it 'winter resort' sounds completely terrible and makes it seem like it's just a 100% contrived plot device. I mean, it obviously is, but the reader isn't supposed to have that fact slapped in their face.

I can already see the shit nearing the fan, the train out on the horizon, the light at the end of the tunnel... It's so beautiful. I love this story I really do, it had me when there was implied rarilight, I've only read one fic which even approached this right and then it fucked up in the worst of ways. Still this has promise. We have the hunky douche which every high maintenance girls falls for, the one sided love/protection, and the idiot caught in the middle with just a touch of too much teenaged angst. Honestly the punch line has written itself. Still... It is interesting to imagine what you would portrait Spike doing in this scenario. I can just imagine Sky's douchery reaching whole new heights, but the potential there is enough to anger me to near blind rage, yet rarity will still give the "bad boy" a chance at "changing" him. I like to laugh at these types of woman as they get married. But I digress. You've added a form of morally correct actions in this fic. Twilight hiding the letter, to us it would seem like she is just jealous of the gift for spike, another she is protecting him from a broken heart, those avid rarilight out there might even say that Spike doesn't deserve such a nice present. But there is one thing getting me. The amount of time it took Rarity to gather the suppies.
I've ridden on too many trains. From head to caboose the longest it took me to reach the end at my slow 6 year old pace was 5 minutes and that was stopping and saying hi to most of the people on that train. Now spike had been reading a book, moving through quite a few chapters... That's what? 30~40 minutes? Yeah. Assuming that rarity is a bit of a prude here she wouldn't... Lay it out, but following logic, base instinct, and exposed plot... Well he must have come pretty damned close, if not gone all the way. Which brings me to the point that brings hell fire to earth. If... You know what... I think I'm gonna stop here. I still have two chapters to read, it's too late into the night to finish so expect more tommorw.

boy dragon part & boy part

well ... there goes any evidence that spike has any level of emotional & mental maturity. Now this is going to start feeling like Chris Hansen territory.
wildcasa.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/chris-hansen-wildcasa.jpg

So much of this story just feels contrived, like the characters are just being railroaded down your plot. So much of what they do just feels like it's just an excuse for them to do only the one thing that will move them towards your goal. So, instead of their actions feeling natural, they just feel forced and at times blatantly awkward. For just the most glaring example lets go with this trip to 'winter resort':facehoof:. Why did Rarity have exactly three tickets (and for that matter since when do you have a ticket for a resort) and yet apparently not have this trip planned & scheduled in advance? Then when she apparently springs this upon Twilight last minute, she's surprised that she can't just drop absolutely everything for a trip of indeterminate length (that's right it's never said how LONG this trip will even last). So Twilight can't come, so obviously Rarity needs to go with other friends (maybe she told one of THEM about the trip sooner than the day they leave), but every single one of her other friends is already too busy, and we find this out when two of them show up specifically to give Twilight this exact piece of information, along with a guilt trip. Now Twilight's feeling guilty about not going, and honestly that probably could have been enough, but then yet another piece comes down to knock her onto the rails and Celestia herself tells her to go on this vacation to 'the winter resort'.

4031960 it's got Spilight in it; polyamory and spilight are confirmed on the description. Althought later on it may require reclassification.

4032789

Oh, so you're kind of like me in that you dislike when characters feel railroaded into certain actions?

Wow, you're going to hate the part where Sky Sparks shows up (if not every part he's in).

4033250 Partial Spilight in a completely poly story, got it.

Thank you for clarifying that so I DON'T READ IT

4036012 So why bother with this second comment? :rainbowhuh:

4036095 Dude, just a joke, I've already read the story and the reply and was bored so I decided to reply to your comment and make it seem like I was an asshat.

4036267 Can't tell if sarcasm; it doesn't translate well over text.

Either way, a'ight. :moustache:

4036296 Yeah true, its hard to correctly translate sarcasm over text...

I LOVE how the story is developing. First with spike learning about the joy that is mastrbation and now twilight embracing her feelings toward spike not so much as a little brother but as that of a man. Oh my Celestia i can't wait for thr next chapter! Bravo friend bravo!

4035521
Nope, not gonna have to worry about that because I stopped reading after Ch2.:trixieshiftleft:

Wow. So many favorites for this one little story. Thanks.
I've considered all the criticisms as well as the praise. Some of them are certainly valid. Others, I feel, not so much, but I hope to use my experiences with this story to go back and improve my older stories.

Interesting chapter. Guess it's time for Twi and Rares to teach Spike about sex hmmm? :twilightblush::moustache::raritywink:

...I oddly foresee Spike gets some very interesting versions of "The Talk", complete with demonstrations and ha-er, claws on practice...

Hey Man I just wanted you to know that this store is great. Its starting to be compared to the scoot dairy's. I made this account to tell you how much I love it and everything that was hating on your hard work afew chapters ago they can go buck off because I like the way you build up the store (even if they had a point here and there). Keep up the good work man I hope you email or come out with a update very soon. your Biggest fun Neon Lights. :rainbowkiss:

I swear, is it just me seeing the same group of Spike Fans in each comment section? We got DarkPhantom12, DanvailleBengal, John The Dragon, and even Path_Of_Cloud, a semi-popular writer. We should, like form like, the The Spike's Poetic Inquiry of Klastonic Ecstasy. S.P.I.K.E.

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