So much of this story just feels contrived, like the characters are just being railroaded down your plot. So much of what they do just feels like it's just an excuse for them to do only the one thing that will move them towards your goal. So, instead of their actions feeling natural, they just feel forced and at times blatantly awkward. For just the most glaring example lets go with this trip to 'winter resort'. Why did Rarity have exactly three tickets (and for that matter since when do you have a ticket for a resort) and yet apparently not have this trip planned & scheduled in advance? Then when she apparently springs this upon Twilight last minute, she's surprised that she can't just drop absolutely everything for a trip of indeterminate length (that's right it's never said how LONG this trip will even last). So Twilight can't come, so obviously Rarity needs to go with other friends (maybe she told one of THEM about the trip sooner than the day they leave), but every single one of her other friends is already too busy, and we find this out when two of them show up specifically to give Twilight this exact piece of information, along with a guilt trip. Now Twilight's feeling guilty about not going, and honestly that probably could have been enough, but then yet another piece comes down to knock her onto the rails and Celestia herself tells her to go on this vacation to 'the winter resort'.
Its a shame that so few people have read this:(
This is decent.
well ... there goes any evidence that spike has any level of emotional & mental maturity. Now this is going to start feeling like Chris Hansen territory.
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So much of this story just feels contrived, like the characters are just being railroaded down your plot. So much of what they do just feels like it's just an excuse for them to do only the one thing that will move them towards your goal. So, instead of their actions feeling natural, they just feel forced and at times blatantly awkward. For just the most glaring example lets go with this trip to 'winter resort'. Why did Rarity have exactly three tickets (and for that matter since when do you have a ticket for a resort) and yet apparently not have this trip planned & scheduled in advance? Then when she apparently springs this upon Twilight last minute, she's surprised that she can't just drop absolutely everything for a trip of indeterminate length (that's right it's never said how LONG this trip will even last). So Twilight can't come, so obviously Rarity needs to go with other friends (maybe she told one of THEM about the trip sooner than the day they leave), but every single one of her other friends is already too busy, and we find this out when two of them show up specifically to give Twilight this exact piece of information, along with a guilt trip. Now Twilight's feeling guilty about not going, and honestly that probably could have been enough, but then yet another piece comes down to knock her onto the rails and Celestia herself tells her to go on this vacation to 'the winter resort'.
OH MY GOD HOW HAVE I NEVER FOUND THIS BEFORE ITS PURE GOLD!!!!!