• Member Since 17th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Smashing Skunk53


I am the Fan Hidden Within The North. I write for fun, give me any comment. Your joy is a great gift.

Sequels1

T
Source

Arceus knew that many of his pokemon would be able to live more freely on Equus, but even gods can make mistakes. When a human is separated from his pokemon in a strange world, he finds himself at a loss with the realization that he is no longer human, or anywhere close to it. With the help of a rather helpful duo of friends will he be able to make sense of it all? Will he be able to find his pokemon again? And why is it so much fun messing with the ponies using illusions?

A One-Shot based within this wonderful story by zeusdemigod131. Reading it is not nesscary, but personally recommended.

Cover image from this person.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 56 )
Comment posted by zeusdemigod131 deleted May 25th, 2014

...me gusta. Nice work!

That was a lovely little one-shot for this AU.
It had everything! Action, Suspense, Romance, Comedy!
+1 thumbs-up +1 fav

A story starring 3 of my favorite pokemon and a crossover with one of my fave pokemon crossovers, near instant fave.

Vex

Pretty awesome and only one or two minor grammatical errors, I think you did a great job :derpytongue2:

Also I did especially enjoy Nick's character :pinkiecrazy:

4117526 thanks, thought I would turn him into an annoying human, but he turned out decently well.

“Now kiiiissss.”

So, I'm guessing that Terra is the embodiment of the crazy shipper within us all? :pinkiecrazy:

Anyway, nice side story! :twilightsmile:

4120109

We all ship, there is no denying that we all have a pair of shipping googles on.

Will you add anything to this story or make a sequal because I really would like to see a continuation of this.

4134695

Personally thinking of leaving it just as a one-shot. Was inspired and just had to let it out.

Perhaps after the completion of zeusdemigod's story, but most most likely no. Though out of curiosity, how do you see this continuing?

4135595
I don't really know... I mean there are thousands of possibilities such as Nick, Elena and Terra meeting up with Gene, Belle and the rest of the ponyville gang and going on a epic adventure with them or them just having their own adventure with Octavia and Vinyl. I just really liked this story, it would be a little sad if it ended here.

4136184
Having their own adventure?

...Maybe.

Meeting up with Gene, Belle and the majority of the Mane 6?

Definetly not. I rather not mess with zeus's characters till the story is completed, but even then I rather have a sequel starring these 5, with a few references to the main cannon, than them meeting up with the group.

4136209
Yea, I see where you are coming from with that, also I'm picturing it now Nick, Elena, Terra, Octavia and Vinyl going on a Epic Adventure! It's Beautiful

Kool. Would read the sequel.

4112538
Really? The comedy didn't seem forced at all?

:twilightsheepish:I hoped it didn't seem forced...

4150691 It is hard for me to consider comedy forced when I am reading a crossover fic on this site (I sometimes laugh at the serious bits of stories just by thinking of the involved characters) so asking me is rather irrelevant.
The story is still fine in my book!

Kool idea, don't abandon it.

Law

For being "inspired and just had to let it out" this was very well written. I have to agree with the past commenters, your characterization was superb and the flow was great. There were one or two mistakes that were so inquisitional that I don't even remember where they took place, noting broke immersion. This was great for a one-shot and if you decided to do a sequel or just add more chapters after A New World is finished I would very much like to read it. If there was something that detracted from the story it would have to be the lack of mint colored music mare but that's just my personal opinion and holds no real bearing on the story.

All in all I would just like to say this. Good story, sorry for waiting so long to read. And sorry for this half-baked critique, what can I say, I'm easily impressed (not that I'm calling your story simple or anything, it's just I find it hard to find fault in something when I see someone put there heart into it.)

4272660

Dude, I don't mind critque, but I enjoy responses like this. Thank you.

This has been a really good week for my ego.:moustache:

Oh man, you simply MUST continue this. This side story is just too good to leave as a one shot. Not to mention something about the Nick/Elena pairing is just too cute. :heart:

So as I was saying, you MUST continue this. Need any ideas? I've got a few. Want to wait till A New World, A New Way is finished first? Not a problem. Just don't leave this story hanging like this.

4304882
It may be continued, I have ideas, but nothing will be done at this time.

Comment posted by tdnpony deleted Apr 28th, 2014

4304912
That's fine. As long as this idea isn't abandoned, cause you've made some interesting characters for this one-shot, which are too good to just leave be.

Huh, didn't notice I got a mention on the tv tropes page.

I liked it. Between 'A Whole New World' and this... I'm rather compelled to write my own. Once I have permission of course...:pinkiecrazy:

4366893

Always with permission. Though you have me curious, are you going to use romance or friendship?

4369819
I full heartetly support more New world New way stories. You should totally go for it.

The shipping is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure that at least ninety-five percent of us readers are backing up Terra.

I really wish that I read this sooner. Absolutely loved this story; could be summed up simply, but the whole thing was executed enjoyably. :scootangel:

Comment posted by Smashing Skunk53 deleted Jul 9th, 2014

4661407
Thanks. Shipping makes everything more fun.

..Having read this now...

That mawile ships more than Cadance in a FedEx truck.

Mawile is definitely in my top 15 Pokemon, but a shipping Mawile? So much :yay:

Kinda imagining if Nick and Lucario were like a centimeter away for a kiss then Nick turns his head away and keep talking, and Terra's reaction? "Come on...come on...a little more *1 more cm* ... *kiss fail* OH MOTHER FUUU--!"

"Hey Terra let's go!" Nick said

"Oh huh? What? Oh right, coming! *puts on fake smile while keep an annoyed glare at him*

C-list? oh come on, B-list at minumum. :rainbowwild:

Great story and I just love these characters. Going to have to pick Terra as my favorite of your set. What can I say, shippers got to ship. :raritywink:

Err... This was cute and all, but it could use some heavy editing to get rid of all the mistakes.

5065622

I can pick and trim, that being said I am not exactly a grammer checker and spell-check fixes as much as it harms.

Warehouses lined the road that lay before them, many of them in rather decrypted state.

I think you mean decrepit

5078493
Aye. Fixed it. Thank ye for pointing it out.:twilightsmile:

GMD

Eh, not big on it.

A-a Zoroark?:rainbowderp:My brother is a Zoroark and you would not like to live with one...at all.

Neat, though, you really need a friendly prereader.
Your wacky sentences could really benefit from a second pair of eyes. :twilightsmile:

That was a nice story, but there's a lot you'll want to edit.

Shivering from the cold, the trainer his companions entered the Pokémon centre and gave a small whoop of glee at the warmth.

You'll want to add an "and" between these.

The smaller one trying to rubbing her arms, trying to coax some heat back.

That should be "rub".

Ever since he caught her as a little Rilou, she found out that outside of battles, her master had very little luck.

"Riolu".

Not just the usual Espurr nightmare fuelled nightmares with what can possibly be Darkai laughing at his horror.

"Darkrai" and I suggest either deleting the first "nightmare" or adding a comma after it.

This also was not one of his wonderful siestas where he was frolicking with floettes in misty meadows.

Capitalize.

An illusion that just took a little bit of thought and focuses, but they did not need to know that.

"focus".

“Give me my money mare!”

Add a comma after "money".

Beat Cheap Skate. I won that money fair and square.”

I suggest adding "it" between those two.

Oh, he forgot about the two alien ponyta.

Capitalize.

So you’re one of the cool-looking creatures around the city right?”

Add a comma after "city".

“Look at the poor thing Tavi?

I suggest changing that to something else.

“Welp, were screwed.”

"we're".

“Sure my old studio should just be around the corner.”

Add a comma after "Sure".

She could finally tell him what she doesn’t like, so they won’t have a mix-up like when he accidently forced her into a dress for a Pokémon contest back in Hoen.

"Hoenn".

“Well I certainly don’t remember being friends with one of you thieving dark types. What wrong? The ponies too quick for your thieving claws?”

"What's"

It got the point across as the once testosterone empowered group, had dissipated like a dust balls in the wind.

1) Delete that comma. 2) Cahnge that to either "a dust ball" or "dust balls".

“You know minus the metal shredding second pair of chompers. Actually on second thought, that just makes you more awesome.”

Add a comma after "know".

“Vinyl focus.”

Add a comma after "Vinyl".

Bronze lions stood vigilant at the bottom steps, as if judging any who dare to ascend the stairway to the heart of the city.

You have a double space between these words.

“I don’t owe you anything Cheap Skate! I won that bet fair and square. Or do you want to take it up with my personal bouncers.

I suggest changing that period to a question mark.

“Vinyl we need to get out of here!”

Add a comma after "Vinyl".

The flames pushed Terra back, knocking her into one of the pillars at City Hall, a large indent as he metal body was engraved into the stone.

"her".

The sun begaun to rise, rather dramatically at the far end of the road that leads to the horizon.

"began".

A wordless conversation seemed to take place.

Double space.

As she regained her balance, she fired numerous Aura attacks all of them missing the armour Pokémon.

1) Add a comma after "attacks". 2) Aura Sphere is a move that can't miss.

Nick’s battered body covered in bruises and dirt-covered gray coat seem to vanish beneath the silver lining on the sunset.

I thought this was sunrise.

Their bounds closer than those of blood and flesh.

And I'm pretty sure that should be "bonds".

5796102
I feel like you went a little too in depth with that considering how old this story is.

4098328

I knew it....I'm surrounded by buttholes

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