Getting Their Just Desert

by dancing mop

The First Chapter

The First Chapter

In which a formerly fabulous and fantastically furious fashionista fumes at her four friends as they fade fastly afar, while a pink party pony perkily perplexes over a pair of puzzling pieces of pony language.

Rarity could not believe that Rainbow Dash had done this to her. She had been violently thrown from a speeding wagon, had a harsh landing in a stand of cacti (which were now stuck all over her mane; she must have looked absolutely dreadful), and now this?!

"Chimicherry, or cherrychanga? Chimicherry, or cherrychanga? Chimicherry, or cherrychanga?" Pinkie Pie repeated, over and over again, every single time she pushed down on her end of the handlebars, in a horrible symphony of high-pitched speech, creaking parts, and rusty wheels grinding along a steel track.

Upon reflection, this was better than the alternative. They had been miles outside of Dodge Junction when Pinkie had decided to hurl herself from a speeding wagon, expecting her friend to catch her with no warning whatsoever. Rarity wasn't even certain of which direction the town had been, and did not relish the idea of plodding through a trackless desert in search of civilization. It was fortunate that they had found the railroad tracks, and the hoofcart they were currently operating.

Indeed, if she was lucky, it would be only an hour or two before a train rolled past, and they were picked up. If they happened upon a town before then, then all the better! Surely, this agonizingly annoying trek would be over in just a short while. In the meantime...

"Chimicherry, or cherrychanga? Chimicherry, or cherrychanga?" Creak, creak, creak...

She could handle this for a small time.

* * *

Three hours.

If Rarity's judgement of the Sun's position was correct, it had been three hours since this little trip had begun, and Pinkie Pie had not let up for a second. How that pony managed to stay so dedicated to being so annoying, Rarity would never know. She had blocked out the sound of Pinkie's voice a long time ago, and she had just realized how very hoarse it had gotten. She was actually beginning to worry.

"Chimi-coughcherry? Or cough-cherrychanga? Chimicherry-hack! cough, cough, or cherry-cough, coughchang-cough? Chi-"

"Chimicherry." Rarity flatly stated. "If you must know, I prefer chimicherry."

Pinkie was (finally!) silent for several seconds, before saying, simply, "Okay."

In the ensuing silence, Rarity decided to take stock of their surroundings. Mercifully, they had moved out of the direct sunlight some time ago, passing through a canyon, with steep walls rising up on either side, just a few lengths from the track. The canyon floor was dotted with a few sparse cacti, and one small rockslide. The rock of the canyon walls was the same dreary, monochromatic brown which seemed to be the only color this desert cared to show.

Pinkie cleared her throat, and asked in a voice that sounded much more like her own, "Hey, Rarity? Are you thirsty? Cuz I'm pretty thirsty."

Rarity sighed, "Well, Pinkie, we have been riding through a desert for three hours, without even a single drop to drink, and you have been talking up a storm the entire time. Yes, I am thirsty, and I have no doubt that you are; perhaps you should have thought of that before you tackled me off of a moving wagon!"

Pinkie's shoulders slumped, and her gaze fell to the ground. "I-I'm sorry, Rarity. I didn't think-"

"No, I'll bet you didn't! You never think! You just do whatever stupid, ridiculous thing pops into your head, never caring at all about what kind of consequences your actions can have!"

Pinkie's lip quivered, and she looked ready to cry. "W-Well, fine! Y-You're just a big, mean, selfishpants! You never care about anypony else, you just want nice things all the time!

The nerve! "I care about other ponies! I am the element of Generosity! I give more thought to the feelings of others than you ever have!"

"What?! I'm the element of Laughter! Making other ponies happy is my job!"

"Oh, really? Then why have you been working so hard this whole time to make me absolutely miserable!"

"I've been trying to make conversation! You know, lighten the mood? Laugh?"

"I'd have prefered if you had kept quiet!"

"Then that's what I'll do!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Rarity sat sullenly for a time, glaring at Pinkie. Occasionally, her friend would glare back, and Rarity would turn her gaze elsewhere. The canyon walls remained unchanged, the cacti had thinned out, the rockslide was gone, and the only sound that could be heard was the creaking of the handlebars as they rose and fell, rose and fell.

Creak.

Creak.

Creak.

She was still fuming when Pinkie suddenly perked up, spotting something behind her back. "Uh-oh", said the pink pest, taking her hooves down off the handlebars, "This isn't good."

"What?" Asked Rarity, turning around as the cart slowed to a stop.

Oh no. The track had come to an end. Stacks of wood pilings and rusted-out rail pieces lay about a long-abandoned work camp. Scraps of debris and detritus could be seen poking out of the sand, and a few torn remains of tents hung limply from their rotting, skeletal frames. Up ahead, the rock walls of the canyon had closed in, and signs of a half-excavated tunnel marred a small spot on their surface.

Rarity eloquently sized up the situation. "But we, I thought, no, this track, ended? What? How could...AAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEE!"

As Rarity finished screaming, and moved on to hyperventilating, Pinkie Pie gave her own thoughts on the situation. "Ohhh, I see! This track goes North to Appleoosa, not south. Silly me!" She addressed her still panicking friend, "Well, I guess now we're stranded in the middle of a desert at about high noon, with nothing to drink, and we're three hours further from help than before we spent all morning doing a reeeally tiring physical activity!"

Rarity responded in the only way she really could.

She fainted.

* * *

Rarity awoke to find herself in one of the half-rotted tents in the camp. A table still sat at one end, with a trio of cots lining one wall. The opposite wall had been completely frayed away, along with half of the roof. A few random objects stuck out of the sand in places; a pot here, a playing card there, nothing that could be useful in their current predicament. A rather strange noise behind her caused her to turn around.

There, Pinkie Pie could be seen, holding a kazoo in her mouth, swinging it against a cactus that was growing in the tents shadow repeatedly. Each time, a hollow sort of thunk noise was made. Pinkie winced and pulled away as her snout was poked with a thorn, looking up and noticing her friend.

"Oh, you're awake." She said, spitting out the kazoo and glaring at the cactus, "I could use some help with this."

"Just what are you doing?" Rarity inquired.

"Well, I know that cactususes have water inside of 'em, so I was trying to break this one open."

"With a kazoo?"

Pinkie huffed, "It's the only thing I have that could work."

Rarity cocked an eyebrow quizzically, "What else do you have?"

"Some balloons, a pair of mustache disguise glasses, a bag of streamers, a dirty sock, and two empty gum wrappers." Pinkie stated, pointing to each item on the ground in front of her. "Oh, and an extra-large, dark chocolate peanut butter fudge brownie!" She exclaimed, holding out the treat triumphantly.

"You didn't eat any of it, did you?" Rarity asked, eyeing a missing corner of the brownie.

Pinkie grinned sheepishly. "Heheh, uh, of course not! That would just make me really thirsty. Everyone knows thaaat..."

Suddenly, she zipped over and grabbed Rarity by the shoulders. "You've gotta help me get some water!", she pleaded, "Chocolate and Peanut Butter are the worst when you're thirsty!"

"No doubt." Rarity deadpanned. "Alright," she sighed, looking around the tent, "But we'll need something heavier, or sharper, than a kazoo to break that cactus open."

Pinkie hopped away, and scooped up the first thing she came across, a laminated playing card. "Would this work?"

"No, Pinkie-"

"Ooh, how about this?" she asked, this time holding up an old boot.

"No, I-"

"This is perfect!" Pinkie cried, grasping a small shard of wood.

"No, Pinkie!" She reached down to a handle sticking up from the sand. "Aha! A knife handle! A nice, sharp, metal-hwuah?" She exclaimed as she pulled the handle out of the sand, revealing an object much larger than she had expected, made of wood, and flattened into a paddle-like shape.

"Cricket bat?" Pinkie giggled, "Rarity, that's not sharp or metal! Heehee! How's that gonna work?"

"Hmph, I suppose this will do." Rarity said, looking over the bat, and brushing sand off of it. It was in remarkably good shape for having been left out in the desert. Aside from a few scuff marks, a couple of scratches, and the scuffed-out manufacturers logo, it was nearly intact, and still very solid. She lifted it above her head with her magic, walking back over to the cactus. "Stand back!" She cried as she brought the bat down on the cactus, causing the top half of it to explode outward, raining moist chunks all around the tent's interior.

"Water!" Pinkie cheered as she leaped over to the half-destroyed cactus, plunging her face into the exposed inside.

As she messily slurped on the cactus's contents, Rarity scooped up pieces of the plant from the ground, brushing them off and daintily sipping them dry.

They both drank their fill, and slumped down on their backs, sighing in contentment. Rarity closed her eyes, and simply enjoyed the sensation of not being thirsty. She lay like that for several seconds, before Pinkie spoke up.

"Rarity?"

"Yes?"

"Um, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't really mean it."

Rarity opened her eyes, and sighed. "Pinkie, it's quite alright. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I was just..."

"Tired?"

"Well, yes, but also stressed out."

"And hot."

"And thirsty."

"And worried about how messy your mane was. And is." Pinkie giggled, "You should see it right now! Heeheehee! It looks worse than mine!"

Rarity groaned, "Ohhh, I'd rather not think about it." She chuckled, "Well, I suppose it could be worse. We'll be back by the end of the day, and then I can take a good, long bath. My mane should be back to normal in a day."

"Oh yeah," said Pinkie, "All we have to do now is hop back on the hoofcart, and go right back the way we came. I mean, what could really go wrong?"

Just then, the ground beneath them started shaking and rumbling. The two ponies sprang to their hooves, just as a fissure opened between them in the sand. Before they could react, the whole tent collapsed into the hole in the earth, plunging them both into darkness. Rarity screamed as they tumbled sown a twisting tube in the dark, while Pinkie seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Wheeeee! This is so much fun!"

They abruptly came to the bottom of the tunnel, coming to rest on a rocky surface. As the sounds of the fall petered away, Rarity dared to open her eyes, revealing a cavern lit only by the barest hints of light. Pinkie's head shot up from a pile of rubble, laughing hysterically.

"Hahaha! It's like the universe is tempting us! I said 'what could really go wrong', and then, something did! Ha! This is so awesome!"

Rarity groaned and plunged her face into her hooves.

We're doomed.

Comments

[Tangerine Blast]

YES! I was aching for another one of these stories!

[dancing mop]

4097787
You're welcome!

[Drifting Heart]

*rarity's friends*
whoa whoa hold the freakin phone! They are pinkie's friends too if anything saying her friends left her behind with pinkie feels like you are dismissing her its like someone saying lets take billy and mandy for an example. Grimm left mandy in the underworld with billy instead of grimm left the two kids he was forced to spend forever with in the underworld.....oh forget it the point is pinkie is their friend too and i think tend people forget that also that did piss me off that Dash was being an idiot by leaving them to die in the desert. There is more to her then the "annoying" friend okay? I am sorry but from personal experiences I would not like to be the friend everyone wants to freakin strangle all the time just because people are uptight.

[dancing mop]

4101173
Um...I was just showing that it's from Rarity's point of view...so, she would refer to them as her friends, not their friends.

And technically, they all left them.

[Drifting Heart]

4101203
Oh well silly me! Sorry about that bro. Right but Twilight did suggest going back but still they got on the train and just completely forgot about them. I saw a comic on DA where Rarity got her revenge on Dash for it but she should have gotten her revenge on all of them XD