61. The Unwilling Patron
As I'd expected, I ended up finishing work on the spell about an hour before midnight, and then proceeded to immerse myself into the Clock-Maker while Twilight continued work on the enchantment. And that's how I spent the rest of the night, until I get too tired to keep reading.
With Twilight's help, I retire to the extra bed that she has, which is actually a pull-out couch located in her room, on the lower section. I end up laying awake a while, my mind still trying to adjust tot he fact that I'm no longer in the world of the book. Man, it's been such a long time since I've read a good book. I can't wait to see what happens next.
So that's what occupies my thoughts until I fall asleep for that night. Let's just hope tomorrow won't be as grueling as today was. Oh who am I kidding? Of course it will.
I wake up the next morning to hear the sound of Twilight moving around downstairs. Judging by the smell wafting up from down there, she's cooking breakfast. I wonder what that is. Because whatever it is, it smells good. And sweet. Which wakes my sweet tooth up, much to my annoyance. Because now I have to have some of it.
Sitting up, the first thing that happens is that I get tangled in my own hair. “What the...are you kidding?” I curse to myself, running a hand through my locks, finding multiple knots in the process. What a pain in the ass. I stand up and do my best to organize my hair, since I'm certainly not taking a shower before work. That would be a waste of water. “So glad I'm getting this cut today.”
The most I can do is force it into a ponytail (goddammit, that hairstyle has a whole new meaning now. Christ) and wrap it there with the hairband Apple Bloom gave me. I only have to deal with this ridiculous amount of hair for about five or six hours.
“Good morning, Seth,” Twilight greets me as I stomp down the stairs, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. She giggles a bit when she sees the state my hair is in. “Your mane is a mess.”
“You try taking care of hair this long,” I retort. I'm half tempted to just run the ponytail down my shirt to hide it from view. I soon join her in the kitchen, peering into the oven. I see weird little lumps of dough, but I can't see any details because of the obscuring haze of the oven screen. “What are you making?”
“Cinnamon bread. Pinkie taught me how to make it,” Twilight replies. Cinnamon bread? Are those like cinnamon rolls? Because if so, I want some. “Why, did you want some? I have plenty.”
“But Twilight, I was going to eat the ones you didn't!” Spike protests. Oh, Spike is here. I didn't even notice him there, standing next to the counter like that. He stares at me accusingly, probably thinking I'm here to steal his bread. Which I am, if they're like cinnamon rolls.
“No need to be greedy, Spike. There's enough for all of us,” Twilight admonishes him, tapping him lightly on the head with an oven mitt.
“If they're sweet, then yes. Here,” I respond. After I finish speaking, I flip a bit in her direction, which she catches with her magic out of reflex. Her face falls when she sees what it is. I push past her and rifle through a particular cabinet. I remember where she keeps her cups from the time we made pie together. Then, once I have a suitable cup, I fill it up with water from the keg in the back corner. I know that because she's always getting water for her tea there. Then, I recline against the back wall,, sipping from my cup as Twilight continues to monitor our breakfast.
“I don't have very long. I have work soon,” I mention after I glance at the clock. My body has always been used to getting up around now, so the only surprise here is that Twilight got up at this time, when I'm sure she stayed up longer than I did.
“Don't worry, it'll be done soon. Then all I have to do is spread the frosting on it, and it'll be ready to eat,” Twilight assures me, producing the container of the aforementioned frosting from the cabinet above the stove. Sure enough, an orb set into the front of the oven emits a chime and turns green. This must mean that the food is done, because Twilight opens up the oven and removes the tray of what definitely looks like cinnamon rolls from within.
“Oh boy, those look delicious!” Spike comments, salivating slightly. He hovers a bit too close to the tray, so that Twilight has to shoo him away with a kitchen towel. “Hurry up, Twilight! I'm hungry.”
“Just a moment, Spike! You're so impatient this morning,” Twilight chides him with a slight edge of annoyance in her voice.
“Because you don't often make stuff like this!” Spike returns, once again inching closer as Twilight starts to spread the frosting over the bread. “Is it because Seth is here?”
“Yes, it's because I have a guest. It's only polite,” Twilight points out, glancing at me. She looks disappointed when she discovers that I'm not paying attention, as my nose is currently buried in the Clock-Maker. I'd carried it down from the bedroom, because I like keeping busy while waiting. I used to read fanfiction off my phone, but that doesn't work anymore, because internet doesn't exist anymore. I'd say it was a fate worse than death, but I've already encountered one of those, and came out on top. Funny how surviving a battle for your life tends to give you perspective on things you used to think essential.
“Here, Seth,” Twilight says, interrupting my reading by hovering a plate of bread in front of my face. I shut the book and set it aside, my attention now taken up by that incredible smell the food is giving off. I take the plate and lift one of the rolls, immediately taking a bite into it. Twilight wrinkles her nose somewhat when I don't thank her, but she quickly accepts that and starts doling out portions for herself and Spike, the latter of which is bouncing excitedly. “You're going to the spa with Rarity and Fluttershy this evening, right?”
“Yeah. So? What's your point?” I reply, raising an eyebrow. What does that matter to her? Or is she just trying to make conversation? I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I tend to hate obvious conversation-starter questions.
“No point, really. I was just trying to start some conversation. How do you feel about going?” Twilight responds, confirming my suspicions. She bites into her roll a second later.
“Like it's ridiculous that spas even have barbers in the first place. They're meant to refresh your body, not your hair,” I express. I still can't believe I'm even going. I'd never have set foot near a spa back in my time. Only girls did that kind of thing.
“Oh, but Lotus is very good at what she does. She'll take good care of your mane, I promise,” Twilight assures me. She runs a hoof through her own mane. “She's taken care of mine once or twice.”
“Yet it still manages to look like shit,” I tease her, only to immediately get a spoon thrown at my face. “Kidding, I wouldn't know either way.”
“Rude,” Twilight grumbles, pouting hilariously. “I spend at least half an hour making sure it looks at least somewhat decent.”
“Right...you're lucky. You have no idea how long it takes to get this waterfall of hair looking good,” I point out, dangling my useless amount of hair in front of her. Twilight giggles and nods. “That's why I'm hoping Lotus won't fuck up the haircut. I want to cut at least half of all this off.”
“Not a fan of a long mane?” Twilight asks curiously.
“Not this long. This is like, over the top as far as length goes. Right now, I could probably strangle somepony with it. Any longer and I run the risk of strangling myself during my sleep or something,” I complain. “I want it back to what it used to be. Maybe a little longer, but that's it.”
“I guess I can understand. I don't like my mane being any longer than it is right now as well,” Twilight remarks.
After that, the conversation dies down a bit as we focus solely on our food. Of course, when I notice the clock again, I notice it's getting dangerously close to the time I'm usually at work. So I quickly eat the rest of my rolls and finish my drink. “Okay, I've got to go,” I say simply, setting the dishes aside. “Time for work.”
“Okay. I know you're busy tonight, but are you free tomorrow night?” Twilight asks hopefully. Her spirits fall when I shake my head.
“No, I'm hanging out with Rainbow then. I'll try to drop the next day maybe. No promises,” I explain. When I notice Twilight's disappointment, I sigh. “Idiot. It's not like I'm going anywhere for the rest of my life.”
“When you say it like that, it seems rather sad,” Twilight comments. She blanches when I give her a deadpan stare.
“No really. Please tell me more about how sad it is that I'm stuck in here in a world that isn't mine,” I remark sarcastically. I notice Twilight now looks ashamed of her comment. “Oh, grow a skin. I'm fucking with you, that's all.”
With that, I bid Twilight goodbye and leave the library. The streets are just now waking up, ponies leaving their houses and making their way to work.
Right. First things first. Let's see if that spell I learned actually works. I lift my hand to about chest height, concentrating the necessary magic in my thumb and middle finger. Then, like striking a match, I release the magic with a snap.
Okay, it feels like it's working, in that there's a barely noticeable tingle of magic surrounding my body. I spent a long time last night trying to perfect this, but because there wasn't any means of testing it, this is when I can find out it it's working or not.
I take to the air with a burst of magic, surprising the ponies around that may not have seen that yet. Okay, it's a relatively clear day, but there are still a few cumulus clouds floating around. Picking one, I soar to it, a feeling of trepidation building up in my chest. It's a good thing I can fly, otherwise this would have had the potential to kill me.
Once I'm above the cloud, I carefully lower myself onto it, until my feet come into contact with the cloud's surface. I fully expect my feet to go through it and get soaked, despite the fact that the spell is supposed to prevent that. However, my feet feel like they've hit the surface of a memory foam mattress, in that the surface of the cloud deforms slightly to accommodate my feet, before halting my progress into it entirely.
Uncertainly, I allow myself to power down, so that I'm no longer flying. Sure enough, the cloud is supporting my weight. This is the weirdest feeling. Still not fully believing it, I take a few tentative steps, and yet I still don't fall.
“Hah, I'm fucking walking on a cloud,” I comment aloud to myself. This is so surreal. Anyway, the magic is supposed to cover my whole body, so I should be able to sit. So, hoping that I don't fall like an idiot, I try sitting down. “Oh my god, this is comfortable as hell.”
Sure enough, the cloud continues to support me. And that's not all. When I said it felt like memory foam, I meant it. The surface of the cloud bends and flows around the contours of my rear, making it one of the most comfortable seats I've ever sat in. If you can call a cloud a seat.
Getting bolder, I lay back on the cloud and stare up at the sky. Christ, I might just bring a blanket and sleep up here from now own. The mattress in my room at Vinyl's feels like a slab of rock compared to this. So I think it's safe to say that this spell works. The description in the book said it would last for four hours, so when I'm at Rainbow's tomorrow, I'm going to set the alarm on my phone for three, so I can recast it.
Just as I'm about to fall asleep, I remember that I'm supposed to be going to work. Fuck, this cloud is so comfortable though. I see why Rainbow's always lazing around on them. So yeah, I definitely have to do this again. Probably one of the best spells I could have learned.
Reluctantly, I take off from the cloud and angle myself towards Sweet Apple Acres. I've gotten a taste for this whole flying thing. I might starting using this to go anywhere. Not like I'll lose muscle mass. After all, I'm always putting strain on my legs whenever I work.
I spot Applejack waiting for me patiently at the front of the barn. Strangely enough, she's watching the streets. You'd think she'd remember that I can fly.
Sure enough, I take her by surprise when I suddenly land in front of her. “S'up? I greet her nonchalantly, as she realizes who's talking to her.
“Oh, ya flew here. Seems like yer startin' to do that more often recently,” Applejack comments. I shrug.
“Why wouldn't I? It's not like I could fly back in my time. Might as well enjoy it now that I can,” I respond.
“True that,” Applejack admits, tipping her hat. “Anyhow, let's git to it. That roof ain't gonna fix itself.”
“Don't I know it,” I groan.
So once again, I end up spending my entire workday up there on that goddamn roof, fixing shingles. Thankfully I'm left alone for most of it, so I end up putting my phone next to me and quietly playing some music while I work. That makes things go much easier, because I can get lost in the music even while I work. And everyone knows that if you resign yourself to work and let yourself zone out slightly, time seems to move much faster.
That being said, when Applejack finally comes to get me, I just finish repairing the last shingle on the roof. Which means tomorrow will be all about the gutters. Ugh, if I didn't have that hangout with Rainbow to look forward to, I would scream. I am not relishing putting my hands into all that junk. It's going to be bad, because I can see all the shit in there from here.
I join Applejack on the ground after she calls, bringing the mostly empty bucket of shingles with me. “Done?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
“Yup. Good work up there. Ah expected the roof ta take ya another day or so,” Applejack admits, looking impressed. “Yer a mighty hard worker. Though that leads me to wonder what you plan on doin' with yerself.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, confused. Applejack nods to herself, as if she'd expected the response I just gave her.
“Ah figured as much. Let me ask ya a question then, and ah want ya to be honest with not just me, but yerself as well,” Applejack begins, looking serious. What the hell? With that kind of set up, I feel like she's about to pop off a soul searching question.
“Okay...” I say awkwardly, crossing my arms. She better not ask me anything too personal, or I'll have to tell her to go fuck herself.
“While ah enjoy havin' ya around, will you really be satisfied with workin' on mah farm for the rest o' yer life?” Applejack finally asks. I'm taken aback by that question. Yeah, I figured I would be working here for the rest of my life, but...now that she mentions it, it really isn't something I enjoy.
“It's not like I have any other options at the moment,” I answer, irritated. “This money I get from this job is what's keeping me from living out on the streets with nothing to eat.”
“Ah know that, and ah ain't gonna ruin that for ya. It's just that this don't seem like your kind o' thing,” Applejack explains. “Ain't there somethin' in life that really gets you goin'? Like, take mah farm for instance. Ah love this place, and ah love workin' here.”
“You don't have to like your job to do it well,” I point out, not sure what she's even trying to get at. Applejack sighs.
“Ah ain't too good at this. Let me try again. Don't ya want to do somethin' with yer life other than workin' on my farm? Like, how Rarity works with dresses, and Twilight's a librarian,” Applejack tries again. I think I'm starting to understand what she's trying to say.
“Well, you ponies don't have many computers...and the ones you have probably don't run with java or C#, so those skills are useless. Plus I hate coding anyway,” I muse aloud. Applejack blinks, not understanding a word of what I just said. “But musicians don't make money unless you make it big. And I'm no professional. So no, there's really not much to aspire to.”
“Yer a musician?” Applejack asks, surprised. Right, I haven't really told her much about my love of music. Mostly because until yesterday, we've been pretty distant with one another. After I nod, Applejack smiles. “You should come play with me if ya like. Ah think ah'm pretty good with a banjo.”
“Yeah, I remember hearing that. Maybe once I have enough money to buy myself a decent piano, I'll take you up on that,” I say, nodding. “You see, that's the thing. Whether or not I'm satisfied with this job, I don't have a choice. I don't have the money to do anything else. Right now, if I ever want to move out of Vinyl's house, I have to save up...for like half a year.”
“Makes sense. Ah guess ah was just curious about yer long term plans,” Applejack clarifies with a nod of the head. A moment later, she produces my pay from her saddlebags and passes it to me. I accept it eagerly and add it to the sack of bits that I usually carry with me. “Ah'm guessin' yer too busy fer dinner tonaht. Yer goin' with Rarity, aren't you?
“Yeah. She said she'd meet me here with Fluttershy. She actually should have been here by now,” I reply, looking out at the path that leads back to town. I don't see her yet, but I figure she'll be here soon.
“She's probably looking to be 'fashionably late,'” Applejack jokes, and then the two of us snicker at Rarity's expense.
Sure enough, Rarity soon appears, walking up the path with Fluttershy. She appears to be taking her sweet time, much as Applejack and I had predicted. When she spots me, she waves a hoof delicately in greeting.
“Raht, let's go meet her,” Applejack says to me, and then the two of us walk together outside of the farm, where Rarity and Fluttershy are waiting for us. “Howdy, Rarity, Fluttershy!”
“Good evening, dearest Applejack,” Rarity responds gracefully, dipping her head. She regards me next. “And a good evening to you as well, Seth. Are you ready to go?”
“I have been for the past ten minutes, thanks,” I retort, earning a sigh from Rarity. I angle myself so she can see how ragged my hair looks. “The sooner I get rid of this problem, the better.”
“Oh my, it certainly looks like a problem,” Fluttershy observes. It takes me half a second to realize it was Fluttershy and not Rarity that just said that. You know, sometimes I forget she knows how to talk.
“You three have fun then. Ah gotta go meet mah family for dinner,” Applejack says, and then she turns the other way, heading back to the barn.
“Do tell them I said hello, won't you?” Rarity calls after Applejack. The retreating mare calls back an affirmative response. Rarity looks satisfied at that, and then she turns to me. “Shall we go, Seth?”
“Sure. I'm tired of standing around anyway,” I respond. With that, the three of us start walking back to town. I could get there much quicker by flying, but unfortunately, I'm not doing this on my own. I probably wouldn't have done it on my own anyway. Then I remember I'm still filthy from working hard all day. “Shouldn't I take a shower first?”
“Don't worry about that. The spa will take care of everything,” Rarity assures me as we enter Ponyville proper once more. “Shall I tell you what services they offer?”
“I don't think that's necessary. I'm just going to get my hair taken care of,” I tell her flatly. However, it doesn't seem like Rarity is going to let you go.
“Oh, but that would be a waste! Look at you; you need the treatment almost as much as I do. Look at your face! You've been staying up too late. There's stress lines all over it!” Rarity protests.
“Wait, really? “ I ask, reaching a hand up to my face. It doesn't feel any different, so I'm not sure if Rarity is making that up or not. “You're kidding, right?”
“Seth, we just came from a battle the likes of which we've never seen. It's going to show on our bodies, and it would be a disservice to ourselves if we did not take care of them,” Rarity persuades, running a hoof through her styled mane. “Don't you agree, Fluttershy?”
“Oh...yes, I do,” Fluttershy squeaks, having not expected to be talked to so suddenly.
“You know, you have a way of making the simplest of things seem like a big deal,” I point out, putting my hands in my pockets. “And then somehow making it sound like a good idea. How do you do that?”
“I'll take that as a compliment,” Rarity beams, somehow using my comment to stroke her own ego. “It's a gift of mine.”
“Right, a gift. Still though, let's say I agreed. What would I have to deal with?” I ask, not sure why I'm even considering this. Maybe it's because I'm paranoid that are actually lines on my face. Still though, Rarity seems all too eager to explain.
“Well, the first thing they would do for you, most likely, is take care of your hair, before giving you the option to refresh yourself in the baths they offer. There, you can get yourself clean and your mane looking as fabulous as you'd like,” Rarity begins. Okay, I like what I'm hearing, but I'd rather she call my hair anything other than fabulous. That just sounds way too girly for my liking. “Unfortunately, I'm not sure it would be easy for you to receive the massage treatments they offer, considering your biology is wholly different from ours.”
“That's fine with me. There's no way in hell I'd let them touch me anyway,” I remark uncomfortably. I don't like the idea of a goddamn pony running their hooves all over me anyway. “What else?”
“Also, to help smooth out your face, Aloe and Lotus have a very unique herbal remedy that I often use when I go,” Rarity continues. Okay, that's a definite no from me. Literally if my hair wasn't getting cut, I seriously would just leave at this point. It's driving me nuts how girly this is getting. “Lastly, there are various saunas, steam rooms, and therapeutic baths available. Trust me, if you stay with me, I'll have you looking rejuvenated by the end of this visit.”
“Uh-huh. Still not sure I like doing this at all. Can't I just get my hair cut and go?” I complain. Of course, Rarity isn't pleased by that question at all.
“Certainly not! You want to get the best service for your bits, I'm sure. A simple mane cut isn't worth fourteen bits,” Rarity scolds me, looking horrified. Oh shit, that's right. This is fourteen bits, isn't it? Ugh, this is going to set me back at least a day in my endeavors to get my own house. I mean, I already said I'd go, so I can't exactly back out now. “At the very least, you should accompany us into the sauna and therapeutic baths. You'll enjoy it, I promise.”
“Oh yes, I do enjoy the baths,” Fluttershy comments.
“Right...except what the hell am I going to wear in the baths? I can't exactly go in there wearing a full work outfit,” I point out. Rarity opens her mouth to say something, but then she forms a small “o,” with her lips.
“I suppose we can stop by Vinyl's place to get your swimming attire. It is on the way, after all,” Rarity decides, and then the three of us alter our course accordingly, curving through the residential streets rather than traveling straight through the town square.
It doesn't take us very long to reach Vinyl's place. “I'll be right out. Wait here,” I tell them, because I'd rather not waste time listening to Rarity talking to Vinyl. Because if anything, Rarity likes to talk. Almost as much as Twilight. Not nearly as much as Pinkie though.
Once I hear Rarity acknowledge me, I step into Vinyl's house without so much as a knock. As I expected, Vinyl is resting on the couch. It doesn't seem like tonight is one of her gig days, so that means today she's not doing a thing.
“Oh, Seth, you're home. Missed you last night,” Vinyl comments, leaning her head back to look at me, such that she's looking at me upside down.
“I stayed at Twilight's that night,” I respond, turning towards the stairs without stopping. Vinyl raises an eyebrow at that.
“Was she talking at you about magic again? She tends to do that,” Vinyl asks curiously, her head following me in a rather comical manner as I pass by her. “Where are you going in such a hurry anyway?”
“I'm being dragged along by Rarity to get my hair cut. I'd rather get it over with, so I'll deal with you when I get back,” I explain to her as quickly as I can before storming up the stairs. It doesn't take me very long to locate my swimming trunks.
Soon, I'm back outside with Rarity, ready to go. “Excellent! Shall we go then?” Rarity offers. I respond with a terse nod, and then the three of us are once again on our way. To this goddamn spa thing that I honestly wish I'd never agreed to. Why the hell isn't there just a standalone haircut place?
Ugh, and now we're here. The building is located on the far end of the Ponyville town square, but I don't really get much time to look at it before Rarity is rushing me inside, her excitement practically palpable at this point.
“Welcome, miss Rarity, miss Fluttershy,” two ponies greet us practically in unison alost immediately after entering. Right, these two are pretty regular customers, if the ponies that run the place know them by name. “Here for your regular treatment?”
“Of course, but with one alteration,” Rarity replies to the two ponies. She indicates me with a hoof. “I've brought a friend along. He's actually never been to a spa before.”
That gets the two ponies to gasp and look at me. This is probably a really dumb way to refer to them, but these two ponies are practically palette swaps of one another. By that, I mean they're identical. One of them has light blue fur and a pink mane, while the other...is the opposite. Their manes are held back by white hairbands, no doubt to keep them out of the way while they work.
Upon seeing me, the two ponies appear shocked, before smiling so widely that I almost think their damn mouths are about to pop off of their faces. “You're Seth Rogers, aren't you?” one of them asks me in shock and awe.
“The human that came from the past and fought with the princesses to save Equestria, right?” the other adds, looking way too excited. Right...they probably read the article that explained all about me. So everypony that read it knows that I came from the past.
Rarity looks at me smugly, as I stand there and try to think of a way to respond to these two. “Yeah, that's me. Though it seems like you know a lot more about me than I know about you,” I point out, somewhat irritably. The squealing and giggling I get in response from them makes me want to turn around and leave, but I feel like Rarity predicted that feeling, because she's standing behind me, between me and the exit.
“Oh, I do apologize. It's a great honor to have you here, Mr. Rogers,” the pink one responds, trotting forward happily and guiding me further into the building, much to my discomfort. “My name is Aloe! I own the spa along with my sister here, Lotus. We'll be taking care of you today.”
“This is so exciting! No other spa can claim they've had a human customer!” Lotus, the blue furred pony, exults. That line in particular pisses me off a bit. I'm not just some marketing ploy for you, bitch.
“Were you looking for any kind of treatment in particular?” Aloe asks as we near a set of reclining chairs in the central area of the building. While waiting for an answer, Aloe looks at her sister and indicates Rarity and Fluttershy with a head motion. I see. So they're splitting up to handle us. Lotus pouts for some reason, but quickly puts on a smile and greets Rarity.
“Go ahead, Seth. We'll meet you again once you're done with your specialized treatments,” Rarity encourages me with a wave of her hoof as she's led away by Lotus. Right, so I'm on my own with this goddamn spa pony that thinks of me as nothing more than a means to make her spa look better. Fucking lovely.
“Yes, I want most of this hair cut off,” I express to Aloe, showing her my length of hair. Before she can say anything though, I transfix her with a glare. “And I'm going to say right now that if you screw it up somehow, I'm not paying a single bit.”
Aloe flinches at the edge in my voice, but she recovers quickly, nodding to show her understanding. “Of course, Mr. Rogers. We operate on a satisfaction-guaranteed policy. We won't accept any payment if you're not completely happy with the treatment we give you,” she assures me. She runs a hoof through my hair without asking, but I bear it because I figure she knows what she's doing. Hearing her confirm that policy Rarity told me about has relaxed me somewhat, knowing that I won't have to pay if they fuck up. “Hm, you have a very long and thick mane. This'll take some work. How much of its length were you planning to keep?”
“A little over shoulder-length is fine. Probably just below my shoulder,” I explain, hoping that she knows what I'm talking about. Aloe doesn't look too confused, seeing as she's nodding.
“I understand. Right this way, please,” Aloe requests, and then she leads me into a room near the back of the building, next to the stairs. Inside is something similar to what I saw in Rarity's boutique. Basically, one of those chair set ups with the bowl to wash your hair in. “Take a seat for me, please? The first thing I need to do is wash your hair to make it easier to cut. You seem like you've been hard at work today.”
“That's a nice way of saying, 'your hair is filthy as shit,'” I comment, though I do get on the chair like she requested. Aloe lifts the back of my head slightly with a hoof so she can get at all the hair trapped underneath my back. She lowers it all into the bowl, and turns on the faucet there to start wetting down my hair. “By the way, I hate having conversations while getting my hair cut. So hold off on the questions that I know you want to ask until later.”
“Oh. You read my mind then,” Aloe responds as she angles the faucet to get all of my hair wet. She giggles despite her disappointment. “You're not the first customer to request silence, though I am a bit disappointed. You became quite renowned here in Ponyville after that article came from Canterlot.”
“So I figured. Anyway, enough chatter. I'm going to take a nap. I expect to see perfection by the time I wake up,” I tell her, even though I know there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep in this uncomfortable chair while there's a pony messing with my most prized physical feature.
“Of course, sir. I won't let you leave with anything but perfection,” Aloe assures me. With a grunt, I close my eyes and let her work.
Aloe starts by washing my hair thoroughly, which takes a while because I have a lot more hair than I should. I've felt hooves on my scalp before, but it never stops feeling weird, because their hooves feel nothing like what I expect they should. That evolution though.
Then, when she starts getting the scissors and razors, I start getting a little nervous. Now, I'm not going to pretend I know how barbers do things. All I can feel is the tickling and somewhat irritating feeling of a razor dragging along my neck and the sides of my face, as well as the pinching feeling of scissors slicing through my extremely long strands of hair.
It occurs to me halfway through that I have no idea how earth ponies like Aloe can hold scissors. I assume it has something to do with the way their hooves are constructed, but there's no way of knowing for sure without asking. And I'm not going to ask.
It takes a pretty long time for the hair cut to get done. However, when it's done at last, my head feels several pounds lighter. “Finished!” Aloe trills in a singsong voice. “Lift your head for me real quick.”
I do as I'm told, and then shiver when Aloe runs a wet towel across the back of my neck. That's probably to get rid of all of the loose fragments of hair that would be there. That's a good idea, because those fragments tend to itch like crazy if they're left there.
“All done! Stand up and look in the mirror. I want to hear what you think!” Aloe tells me. I obediently stand up, and the first thing I notice is that my hair is fucking all over the place. Probably because she cut at least a foot of hair. Still, it looks like you could knit a life sized pony out of what's just been cut off.
I walk over to the mirror, somewhat dreading what I'm going to see. I feel like she might have fu...my thought is immediately interrupted when I see my reflection.
This doesn't look too bad. I lift a hand and run it through my hair, liking how it feels. It's now a lot like what it used to be when I first got to Equestria, only a little bit longer. Okay, I'm satisfied with this. Good to know that I can rely on Aloe to do a good job with my hair in the future.
“Okay, this is good. I didn't expect any ponies to know how to handle my hair,” I admit to Aloe, who promptly squees out her happiness. Yes, I used squee as a verb. That seems to be a thing that ponies do, so I'm calling it a squee, rather than a noise that sounds like squee.
“I'm so glad you like it. Now then, if you'd like, we have complimentary baths that you can take, if you'd like to wash away your fatigues from the day,” Aloe expresses cheerfully, looking proud of herself. I give her an askance look.
“Translated: You smell like shit, go take a bath,” I state dryly causing Aloe to look somewhat embarrassed. “Well? Tell me where these baths are. I don't have all night.”
“My apologies. Come this way; I'll show you right to them,” Aloe says with a slight bow of her head, and then she leads me out of the room.
As we're walking, I notice Rarity and Fluttershy talking to Lotus with smiles on their faces, as they're resting on reclining chairs with some weird substance on their faces. I swear, girls do some weird shit in the pursuit of looking good.
Anyway, Aloe leads me up a set of stairs to the second floor, and then to a room close to the end of the hall. “Here you go, sir. Feel free to take as long as you like. Just ring the bell if you need anything,” she says brightly, opening the door and gesturing for me to enter. With a nod, I do so, and I'm immediately taken aback by how luxurious this bathroom is. Of course, it's no Canterlot, but it's still really nice. I shut the door behind me and approach the shower, already starting to strip.
I'm going to enjoy this.
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This is the point where I scream like a little girls and run round in circles saying, "eww, ewww ewwweweww"
Python is totally superior
okay this is totally unrelated but this page was the only one i could get open.
is anyone having problems with the site? like it will load then the page turns white or it will load a white page with only the black bar at the top?
cos this is happening to me and i can barely get any pages to work. it only happens here on fimfiction as well..
great chapter though.
Chapter 13, the first link (when applejack) is also broken
Second Link (Fountain Clearing) is also broken
Chapter 24, first link the same, is also broken
Chapter 33, when Lyra appear, the image or song, is broken
5124220
It happened to me a couple of times, try to load it in another window.
Also, it happens that it seems the server is a little high... too many people wanting to read and it makes lag
5124220
I presume you're using a phone or other mobile device? That occurs most commonly to me as I'm using my phone from inside the school building which blocks cell signals like...well, a brick wall....with archaic anti-fun fields. It could be that the page is simply not finished loading or your device is not entirely downloading the information packet required to load the page.
Check your internet/cell signal or simply wait until it passes (unless it's been going for a while; It's likely just site updates).
Seth was a bit too much of an ass to the spa ponies....then again...
5123999
EWWWW EWWWWW EWWWW EW EW EW EWWWW, Python!
static.entertainmentwise.com/images/53c8f55791565.gif
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/1390391321613774_animate.gif
i50.photobucket.com/albums/f346/Lestats_Angel88/Doctor%20Who%20Gifs/ew.gif
You know, theres always Snips. Little dude has scissors as his cutie mark. He's probably got some sort of barber magic.
Either that or he's a serial killer.
5125358 i dont have a internet capable phone. this is all on computer. and apparently being persistent allowed me to load this page again. but most of the time its just a black bar at the top of the page with everything else white. i tried to highlight something to see if it was just a messup but rightclicking afterwards showed its all invisible. since it said i could google search something. like the title for example. its gotten annoying.
5125628
I'm not telling you to follow me, but I found this on some website using Google:
"if you are already connected to a network, try to renew the ip address.
>start
>run
type cmd and click ok
then type ipconfig /renew to renew the ip address."
I've never really had the blank page problem with my computer, most of my comp issues stem from the IP address. which as you might know, is like an mailing address for the information packet previously mentioned. Past that, I haven't a clue nor do I have the time to spare at 2AM %_&
Before renewing your computer's IP address, do some research into the results.
Disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for anything that occurs
This chapter was good, and it addressed something that had been on my mind for a bit
Starting off Seth finishes his night with Twilight. He pays for his meal like usual, and Twilight isn't very happy about it. Beyond Rainbow, this is probably a habit he will likely never fully kick. He has gotten better over the course of the story, but his trust issues run very deep. When Twilight gets him his meal, she is annoyed he doesn't thank her for it, however from Seth's perspective, he already paid for the meal, therefore he doesn't need to show gratitude for it since this became a service (mind you he should be careful at take out joints. Insult the staff and your food gets an extra helping of spit
). While he has had his mellowed out moments with Twilight, he still doesn't view there relationship as a friendship and doesn't go out of his way to be friendly towards her. He does show some improvement towards Twilight's oblivious blunt attitude when she makes a comment about it being sad that he is stuck with them now. Earlier this comment (even though it was clearly not intended to be offensive) would have really irritated Seth and possibly earned Twilight a scolding, instead he just tells her to harden up a bit. I don't know whether his relationship with Twilight will ever grow close enough to be considered a friendship (out of all the remaining candidates, the only two I can really see him ever bumping up to friendship status is Sweetie Bell and Twilight. He respects the Wonderbolts and the Princesses, but he likely won't ever consider them friends, and none of the remaining element bearers are close enough with him to consider) but he clearly doesn't hate her anymore and has become accustomed to her personality. After this Seth tests out his new cloud walking spell and heads to work.
Now comes the interesting part that had been on my mind; Seth's future employment. Seth has complained about working on a farm since day one, but he has resigned himself to working there for the rest of his life. He has goals, like becoming a musician, but he is realistic and doesn't believe it is something he could ever make a living off of. Right now his main goal is getting his own home and is content to keep working on the farm until he has secured a property for himself. There are other fields of employment he could take on around Ponyville if he chose to (the mayor's office could probably use someone intelligent, he can fly and interact with clouds so the weather team could use him, he knows music and a general knowledge of instruments so he could take up a position in Noteworthy's music shop, or perhaps teach foals piano. Heck he could always go and assist Cheerilee with the school, seeing as his more hands on practical knowledge was more helpful for some students then the standard teaching method she has been trained in) but in the end it comes down to money and how secure the position would be. I also noticed that he doesn't seem to have any days off. He should probably take a day or two off every so often. He might have a decent amount of time after work to chill, but after a hard stressful day at work, he probably needs some relax time that would cut into his social time with Rainbow and the others. Not to mention Vinyl's gigs taking most of the night and draining him. For now Seth has decided to stay on the farm, but he is at least thinking about future options now.
Ending off Seth goes to his dreaded spa appointment. It seems that Aloe and Lotus are the friendly bubbly sort and have read about his actions in Canterlot. They view him as a hero, which is going to really annoy him if they get too into praising him, especially since he feels guilty about the whole thing. They did a good job on his hair though so he is likely to see them again in the future (then again he only got the haircut so far and the rest of the spa visit is still to come
). I can tell writing about the spa must have been difficult. When you don't have much interest or knowledge of something, it can be difficult to work through it, and spa's aren't exactly something most people get passionate about. Still to work through this in only 5 hours is pretty damn impressive. When I get writers block it can take me frigging ages to get past, sometimes days. Either way Rarity is in her element here so she might be a little more enthusiastic then usual, so Seth should be wary if he engages in conversation with her.
Overall, a good chapter to give us some insight into Seth's future goals and give him some more interaction with Ponyvillians and members of the mane 6 that he hasn't had much or any time with. Next chapter we get some plot development, interesting. I wonder what's going to happen, because so far we have Chrysalis MIA, a stolen Alicorn Amulet, the return of the crystal empire and the dark unicorn that killed his family and race. I am excited. I can't wait to see what happens next. Great work as always
5128783
Yeah, I pretty much am only going through this because I know that a character can change, so it's mostly a matter of tolerating Seth's utter ass..ed..ness? Assholishness? Anyway yeah, Imma see where it'll go.
5128797
Thank you for your perserverence, sir. (if that's even a word.)
You have quite the ride ahead of you!
He really need to get that hair cut, or Rainbow might prank him by binding him with his hair (or the hair to the bed or another object)!
*Face lights up in realization* 
Dammit, Author! Today is spa day! And here I hoped for this prank! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Rest in peace hair binding prank. 
BWAHAHA! That's the Seth we love!
He really seems to love messing with the spa ponies!
*Spoiler warning for the last two episodeds of season 5!*
Also on a side note, you are psychic, Author! Starlight Glimmer used the spell from Starswirl, the one Chrysalis used in your story!
I don't know if anyone has pointed this out but what about his beard? By my experience a thick and fast growing hair has an equally strong growing beard to go with. (at least mine hair does)
...? Uh... Suddenly, it's in second person...
7084503
maybe he doesnt get to grow a beard?
It's happened before, when a man doesnt grow a beard
>Java
>C#
pbs.twimg.com/media/CPwQq5lWoAAsD08.jpg
C++ master race!
5123999
>dynamic typing
You sicken me
enjoyable chapter, the spa is a good detour.