Turmoil
Breakfast that morning felt rather…tense. Twilight and Trixie noticed that Shining Armor wasn’t as talkative while the four of them ate, he didn’t chat much to begin with, but it seemed like he was actively trying to refrain from speaking. They also noticed how Cadance, during some of their conversation, would sneak worried glances to Shining Armor. Of course these were all subtle hints, minor details that may not even be important, but to Trixie, they made her worry slightly.
Yes, Shining Armor and she may’ve “bonded” during that whole thing at the stadium, but she never stopped fearing that something might break their tentative bond, however small it was, something was better than nothing. After breakfast, Trixie decided to go back to Sabio’s study. It felt strange that she was drawn to this place, perhaps it was because she felt sorry for the stallion that Sombra used to be, maybe it was out of morbid curiosity, thinking that maybe the secret to why Sabio became Sombra would be hidden amongst his belongings and she could solve an ancient mystery, or maybe it was because, most likely, it was probably the one place that she could think. Trixie didn’t know why, but the palace was starting to feel less…welcoming than before.
Once in the study, Trixie decided to view more of the crystal recordings. Some she chose at random, others she set aside for Twilight to view, knowing that her big sister would probably get a kick out of learning more about ancient crystal pony magic and history. Trixie eventually made it through a bit more of the crystals until she stumbled upon one row of ten crystals set apart from the others. Curious, Trixie took the first on the left and placed it on the table. After lightly tapping it three times, the crystal projected its stored memory of the past. It was, of course, Sabio who appeared, but he seemed different. The black stallion was wearing silver plated armor, similar to the kind he wore in the old pictures as Sombra, and he did not have his normally happy expression.
“What follows from here on out will no longer be a cataloging of my various magical experiments, but instead, a log of what has befallen our Empire. As of three days ago, 855 AQE, our Queen, Minerva, has declared that the Crystal Empire is now at war.
We know not if they are of Equestrian origin, or if they were even a part of this world to begin with. I, along with the Seven Pillars of Magic, have been propositioned by the Queen to help in the battle against this unknown enemy. We are all committed to preserving the peace and prosperity of our Crystal Empire, but…I fear that there is something evil at work here.”
There was a sound coming from somewhere out of the crystal’s view range, and along with it came a new voice.
“Sabio, there is to be a strategy meeting, I was sent to find you.”
“Thank you, Graza, I’m coming.” The simulacrum of Sabio turned back to the crystal. “Until next time, I hope to have good news to report.”
Trixie gazed at the other nine crystals with worry, “What happened here…?”
Twilight decided to leave Trixie alone for now, after her magical surge, and the bombshell of news she dropped on her, a little alone time to sort out her thoughts was best. So, with that in mind, Twilight decided to go see her other sibling, Shining Armor, and find out what was wrong with him this morning. Twilight decided to head to the couples’ room, since he usually liked to brood in the privacy of his room when they were younger.
Twilight eventually made it to room shared by her big brother and sister-in-law. She knocked at the door and waited for a response, when she heard none, Twilight carefully opened the door. “Shiny, Cadacnce, anypony in here?”
Twilight fully opened the door and entered the room. Looks like he isn’t here… Twilight sighed inwardly. Where else could be, maybe I should check the stadium nex –
The purple alicorn stopped mid-thought as her eyes caught sight of something strange. Twilight moved closer to the oddity and inspected it. There was a large hole in the wall, and the crystal was visibly charred. She also sensed the lingering traces of her big brother’s lingering magical energy. It bothered Twilight to see this. Shining Armor didn’t take out his frustration on the walls or any furniture with his magic. He usually liked to work it out by doing exercise. But this, this was done with a powerful, and concentrated, magical energy blast, there was even evidence of slight melted crystal.
Twilight created a solid magical pointer and had it extend into the hole; she kept extending it till the point hit the end. She then pulled it out and measured how deep the blast went. She almost gasped at how far it went.
“A foot deep, with a width of four inches, and judging from the amount of energy put into the blast…this is – this would’ve been a kill shot…”
“Guess it’s a good thing he wasn’t aiming at me.”
Twilight jumped when she heard Cadance’s voice coming from the doorway. The pink alicorn walked in with her usual smile, but her eyes conveyed that she was worried about what Twilight had found.
“Did…Did Shining Armor really do this?!”
Cadance nodded. “While he was sleeping, apparently he was having a nightmare and it was bad enough that he did, well, that. Whatever he saw or was fighting must’ve scared him enough for his magic to think his life was in danger.”
Twilight reexamined the mark, her own magical energy washing over the hole to pick up on the trace magical energies that created it. She winced visibly and backed away from the hole, making Cadance rush to her side concerned.
“Twilight what’s wrong?”
“It…It wasn’t fear, Cadance. Shining Armor didn’t do this because he was afraid of something; he did it to…to intentionally harm something.”
Cadance looked at her little sister-in-law skeptically. “How can you tell?”
The elder alicorn helped the younger sit on the edge of the bed. Twilight took a couple of deep, calming breathes before she answered.
“When somepony uses magic, they have to convey their intent. That intent is then translated into energy and is carried within its essence. For instance, if I wanted to make the bed float, I am conveying that I want this bed to rise up, when I am done any lingering traces of my magic would have that intent imprinted onto it.”
Cadance blinked at her explanation.
“I…Wow, I actually didn’t know that.”
“I learned it in a book on crime scene investigation.”
No shocker there, Cadance inwardly giggled at the thought.
“So what’s wrong, what did you sense?”
Twilight hesitated, wondering if she should tell Cadance what the intent was behind that blast, but then she felt the soft feathers of Cadance’s wing drape over her shoulders. The pink alicorn gave her a comforting look, the same look that silently told Twilight that she could tell her anything, just like when she was a foal.
“Cadance…Whatever Shining Armor was doing in the nightmare, he was deadest on…killing it, and whatever it was, he hated it…I mean really hated it.”
If she wasn’t worried before, now Cadance was definitely worried now. For the past couple of days she had wondered if telling Twilight about Shining Armor’s fears was the right thing to do, thinking that it was something that her husband had to come out with himself or he would probably deny it or be in denial about how he felt. But now Cadance was sure that she couldn’t keep it secret, if this was any indication of his mental state about the situation then it was better to confront it together.
“Twilight…I know why Shining Armor has been reluctant to accept Trixie as you have…”
“Yes, what is it?”
Cadance sighed deeply, “He’s afraid of becoming…your father.” Twilight was now confused as to how that was bad thing, seeing that she didn’t understand, Cadance clarified. “Shining Armor’s afraid that…he’ll be like your father in the way that…well…in the way that ended with Trixie as your half-sister.”
Twilight jumped from the bed and stood in front of Cadance with a shocked expression. “What, how could he even think that!? Shining Armor would never be unfaithful to you – EVER! He loves you!”
Cadance raised her forehooves up in placating fashion, “Twilight I know he loves me, and that he’d never betray me like that. I trust him.”
“That’s probably what my mother thought too…” Twilight hung her head low, her ears laid flat against her head as tiny droplets started to fall to the floor.
“Twilight…?”
“I’m scared, Cadance…” Twilight said in shaky voice.
“About Trixie and Shining Armor?”
“About everything!” Twilight raised her head to face Cadance; her eyes were starting to well with tears as the dam of emotion she had kept strong was cracking slightly. “I’m afraid of what this’ll do to my family! Nothing will be the same again! I don’t want to blame Trixie, she deserves to have a loving family, and I can’t deny her that, she did nothing wrong!”
Cadance quickly moved towards Twilight and enveloped her in tight hug, letting the younger alicorn cry into her chest as she nuzzled the top of her head.
“I’m sorry, I just…Cadance I don’t want my family, our family, to break apart from…I just want us to be happy…”
Cadance continued to hug her tight, trying to comfort Twilight with her presence. It looks like Shining Armor isn’t the only one…
Without either mare knowing, a black shadow stealthily poked its head into the room, its eyes fixed squarely on Twilight Sparkle.
“Sorrow…”
Trixie sat on the couch, speechless after watching only five of the ten recordings. In that short time the Crystal Empire had been at war with some sort of ancient ponies that had existed for years but had awoken during Sabio’s time, and they were ticked.
“From what I’ve been able to discern from these things, with their bat-like wings, emaciated forms, black, soulless eyes, and fanged teeth, they appear to be Threstrals. Not to be confused with the Equestrian subspecies of bat-ponies known as Nocturnes who serve as the Moon Princess’s personal guard.
My findings show that they might be a form that they once were, the current Nocturnes must be a divergent race that splintered off and became what they are today, but these ones, these…monsters, haven’t changed a bit. They must’ve been sleeping for, Celestia knows how long! But they woke up hungry, and furious.
They have a magic that repels most of what I and the other seven are able to cast, even with the implementation of my Star Staffs to our infantry, it is not enough. Our bodies are stronger than your average Equestrian pony, allowing us to withstand harsher elements, and give us an advantage in combat. But these Threstrals just tear through our crystal coats as if they were wet paper. Even when equipped with armor we barely stand a chance!”
Suddenly the door to the study (the one in the recording) slammed open, causing Sabio to turn towards the door, staring at someone or somepony who was not in the crystal’s viewing range.
“What’s going on!?”
“It’s Graza, sir! She’s…She’s been…!”
“Oh no,” whispered Trixie, knowing that tone of voice all too well.
Shining Armor felt like he needed to clear his head after what he saw and did in the nightmare. Seeing Trixie across the table that morning made some of the emotions from that night resurface, his anger and his guilt mixing together, turning into a chaotic storm that made it hard to tell what he was angry at or what he was feeling guilty for. Was he angry because Trixie was alive? Did he feel guilty because he felt that way? Too many questions and not enough answers. So to clear his head, Shining Amor took a walk through streets, with his fatigue from the nightmare he didn’t really feel up to exercising as per his usual method of stress relief.
It was actually nice, just walking about the streets. Many of the crystal ponies would stop and greet their Prince, or wave to him from across the street. Shining Armor was glad that the citizens were so accepting of him and Cadance as their rulers, true they saved them from Sombra, but they could’ve just as easily said “thanks for saving us, now please leave so we can rebuild our kingdom”. Thankfully that was not the case.
After saying hi and ruffling the manes of a few colts and fillies who ran up to greet him, Shining Armor continued his walk, not really going anywhere in particular, just going wherever his hooves took him. Unfortunately, though he wished to be alone to have time to understand his inner turmoil, a certain darkness wasn’t going to let him.
The shadow crept along the walls of the crystal structures, the citizens oblivious to its movements. This darkness chose when those around it could sense its presence, so it had little fear of moving close to other ponies to get closer to its target. A mare was about to pass by Shining Armor, and the shadow decided to coax the hatred out of him. The shadow swiftly entered the mare’s soul without notice, there was a brief moment of resistance, but the shadow won out in the end. The mare’s eyes shifted to green with red slit irises, but after blinking once the glow was gone. She then turned around and caught up to Shining Armor.
“Your highness, Prince Shining Armor!”
Shining Armor turned to the crystal pony, who politely bowed to him before he bid her to rise. “What’s wrong is there something I can help you with?”
“Oh no, I was wondering, there was a strange mare following Princess Twilight a few days ago, is she still here?”
Shining Armor raised a curious eyebrow. “Yes…she is, is there a problem.”
“Um…I’m not sure, your majesty…It’s just…I don’t wish to speak ill of your guest, and I may have been mistaken –”
“Ma’am, it’s okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
The mare looked unsure but spoke nonetheless. “When Princess Twilight and her guest arrived, there was an incident that day involving her, a mare, and her little filly.”
“Yes, I heard about that, Trix – er – I mean, my ‘guest’ told me about it.”
“Did she also tell you that she was the one who caused it?”
Shining Armor went still, his gaze narrowing, “Excuse me?”
“I-I-I’m sorry, Prince Shining Armor, I didn’t mean –!”
“What else tell me what you saw?” Shining Armor ordered.
“Y-Yes…Anyway, while Princess Twilight was busy I saw this unicorn mare smile, it was almost wicked, and she cast some sort of spell that made the crystal stalagmite crack. It just so happened that the mother and child were underneath it, but, now that I think about it…maybe she did know that they would be there and did so anyway…? The strangest thing was that after she had cast the spell she rushed to the aid of the two ponies, I don’t understand why she caused that to happen…?”
Shining Armor was silent for a while, his breathing calm and even. “Thank you, ma’am, I’ll look into this matter later today.”
“You’re welcome your highness, I am sorry if I may of caused you any undue stress.”
With a quick bow the two ponies parted ways. The possessed mare went rigid as the shadow slipped out of her body and gave chase to Shining Armor.
“Huh…wh-what happened?”
Meanwhile Shining Armor was starting to go over the words of the mare he had just spoken to. He didn’t understand it, the guards he spoke to who looked into the incident didn’t say anything about that in their reports, although the cause of the crystal shattering like it did was still a mystery. Was it a possibility?
No, there’s no reason for it, I mean, if she did do that on purpose, Trixie put herself in danger! Twilight was the one who saved her in the end…but, what if this was all a ploy, a way to fool all three of us into lowering our guard as to think of her as a helpless and scared mare!?
Shining Armor snorted and shook his head, trying to push the suspicious thoughts to the back of his mind. All this was not lost on the shadow that was tailing the white unicorn stallion. It shot forward, getting ahead of him. A few ways up ahead were two Crystal Guard ponies, doing a routine patrol as they walked about. The shadow lashed out at the two stallions, infected them and taking control. Their eyes shined with the same telltale glow of possession before returning to normal. They slowed their pace; knowing Shining Armor wasn’t far behind them. Once the shadow sensed Shining Armor was close by, it enacted its plan.
“So, did ya happen to see that unicorn mare staying at the palace?” asked the crystal pegasus.
“Oh you mean that mare that arrived with Princess Twilight? Yeah, think her name’s Trixie or something like that,” said the crystal earth pony.
Shining Armor, now walking behind them, but just close enough to be within earshot.
“Yeah, that’s her, how much you wanna bet that’s the Prince’s mistress!?”
“Are you kidding, I heard they’re related?! Besides, the Prince would never be disloyal to the Princess.”
“Which one ya talking about, ha, ha!” The crystal pegasus lightly jabbed his elbow into his partner, laughing at the dirty joke. “Besides, related or not, that mare’s hot.”
“Well, what makes you so sure she is the Prince’s mistress? For all you know, she could be Princess Cadance’s mistress.”
“Oh, now that would hurt, losing your mare, to another mare!”
The two stallions laughed boisterously at Shining Armor’s expense. Shining Armor stopped walking, seething in anger at what the stallions said, but as much as he wanted to give them a savage beating, he couldn’t, for some reason, despite the fact that everything they said was complete nonsense, he just couldn’t. He hated knowing that their Guard thought he was the kind of stallion that would do such a thing; even more so, he hated thinking that he might be prone to such weakness.
Sensing his distress, the darkness once again leaped out of its hosts, and traveled towards an alley. Shining Armor was about to turn the other way when he saw the familiar silver tail, azure coat, and magic wand cutie mark slip down the alley.
“HEY!” Shining cried.
The stallion quickly hurried and ducked into the alley, he got halfway down when he stopped to find the pony he thought he had saw.
“Trixie…?”
The azure mare turned around and smiled slyly at him. “Shining Armor, or do you prefer ‘big brother’?”
“Trixie, I have some questions for you, and I’d like a straight answer.”
Trixie laughed; apparently she found his statement amusing. “Shining Armor, big brother…” the unicorn mare started to saunter towards the stallion, gazing at him through half-lidded eyes. “Why don’t we forget the questions and do something fun while we’re out?”
Shining Armor stood still, not entirely sure what was happening. Trixie then walked past him, keeping close as she brushed his fur with hers, she then swished her tail under his neck lightly. Shining Armor turned around and glared at her.
“What are you playing at!?”
“Just thought you would like to follow in our ‘father’s’ hoofsteps. To give in, to succumb to a moment of weakness, I promise you won’t regret it.”
“CUT IT OUT! We’re half siblings, why would you even think or say stuff like that!?”
“Maybe I am your sister, maybe I’m not? Really though, it’s not like you know for sure, but if it makes you feel any better, I can guarantee you that you won’t be breaking any taboos. If you catch my drift?” Trixie punctuated her sentence with a seductive wink of her eye.
“Trixie…after everything Twi has gone through for you, are you really admitting that you aren’t our sister?!” asked Shining Armor with an edge to his voice.
“Oh I didn’t lie about my mother and your father, but that’s not to say that I was a direct product of that night.” Trixie began to close the distance between her and Shining Armor, forcing the stallion to back up against the wall. “One time, just give me that, and I’ll show you just how much alike you and your father are.”
Shining Armor reached his boiling point; he then puffed out his chest pushed Trixie way, making her bump against the wall. “Shut up!
I’m nothing like him! I never will be!”
Trixie laughed at Shining Armor mockingly, “Oh ‘big brother’, I’m going to love driving a wedge between you all, and watch with a smile on my face as you drive everypony you love away from you as your family crumbles around you. And, I have the perfect trinket to make it all happen.”
“What is it!? What do you have that could –!?” Shining Armor’s eyes widened as a thought popped into his mind. “Y-You don’t mean…?”
“Hmm-hmm, Cadance’s regalia will match my amulet nicely; see you at the castle, Shiny.”
“TRIXIE –!!!”
With a flash of her horn, Trixie created a pink smoke cloud that filled the entire alleyway. Shining Armor rushed out the other way, coughing and sputtering as he tried to get his bearings. The unicorn stallion then looked towards the Crystal Palace, his family was in danger, and he needed to stop her! He needed to get the amulet before Trixie did! With that in mind he bolted straight for the palace, not caring who got his way.
The shadow followed closely as evil, menacing laughter echoed out through the air, soft and barely noticeable, but it was there, signaling that a storm was on the horizon, the time to act was at hand.
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Oh no
I was here because I wanted a slightly dramatic story featuring Trixie being accepted into the family. Not a full on "Oh shit, there will be a mess at the end of this" story!
I apologize, but I will be unfavoriting this story because I do not want to see this going any worse than it already is regarding Shining's and Trixie's bond.
I think you meant "Deadset."
Dammit. Please tell me that a happy ending is in the works. I don't know how much of this shadow's wedge driving I can handle...
4627004 Jumping the gun there a little, don't you think?
I for one love what the author is doing. It's not a typical "oh shining says something mean then apologizes now they haz are family".
This evil wedge playing on their worries and fears is great. The story is presenting real worries that any one would have in this situation. You can't just get over those in like a few days.
Trixie is trying her best to be loved and to have a family. Shining can barely see that behind his concerns and distrust. This is great tension I love reading!
The whole Trixie shining thing in this chapter is great too! The tension that it's gonna cause is something that makes me restless for the next chapter. It's gonna be real weird if shining bursts in saying Trixie tried to seduce him. That alone will either offend her or brake her heart.
Keep this up!
You misspelled "Cadence."
4627030
Well there's no Tragedy tag, or even a Sad one so, I'd assume it's going to turn out alright in the end, just with a few bumps along the way.
4627034
4627013
And now it´s confirmed Sombra can possess ponies. As I suspected he was looking for a new body all along.
Nothing technically wrong, but it's, you know, repetitive.
dead set
Need a period before the dialogue, not a comma.
Anyway, that escalated quickly. A bit too quickly in fact. It's amazing Shining could ever reach the rank of captain with how easily manipulated he is. While the two guards talking was actually well done on Sombra's part, the other two should have been obvious to him.
Besides the fact that it would be strange for a mare who had been at the scene of an accident to not have already been questioned (As in, if somepony saw Trixie cast the spell, they would have already told the guard and Shining would know about it), there's still the whole "wicked smile" thing. I mean, really, did she steal candy from a foal too?
Then there was "Trixie" cornering Shining in the alley and revealing her dark plans. Really Shining? There's nothing suspicious about a mare, who you were just thinking of as incredibly cunning a moment ago, coming up to you and practically saying, "I'm evil, come and stop me."? Why would she do that? Not only would it ruin all the hard work she put in to be in the perfect position to attack, but she would lose the element of surprise and only make things harder for herself.
I know your trying to make it so that his stress is interfering with his thinking, but he's a captain. Any good military leader should know how to separate themselves emotionally from the world and look at things rationally. If they don't their personal problems are liable to get not only themselves, but their soldiers, and even country destroyed as well. Heck, this is a great example, Shining's about to help his kingdom's greatest enemy because he's to stupid to think things through.
I can't help but notice that every villain Shining Armor encounters messes with his head. Chrysalis used mind control, Sombra made dark crystals grow on his horn, Tirek syphoned his magic through his horn and now the mind games.
If this keeps up he'll lose his head and go berserk.
4627157 First off, thanks for pointing out those mistakes. I put in for an editor but have yet to hear anything back from them. And that was when the first chapter was written.
Second: Military training or not, when your family is in jeopardy and you have all this drama and stuff rocking your world view, it gets kind of hard to think rationally. By now, Shining pretty much just assumes the worst of Trixie, and since she has a history of being a braggart and a showoff, it's no surprise that she'd try to flaunt her superiority in front of him.
And third: We're dealing with dark magic, and a evil tyrant king's spirit! Logic pretty much takes a backseat here.
4627013
I know right? given his history with changelings you would think he would suspect that Trixie might be a changeling or something messing with him.
I mean why would Trixie put up a good girl act only to reveal her evil intentions to him? Heck that would be fishy even with out the first hand knowledge that he has with shape-shifting imposters. How did some one so dense ever make captain of anything is beyond me.
4627218
ok but suspecting a simple show-pony with who he has no prior direct contact with. as apposed to say a certain queen that has manipulated him before and turned him against his own sister and used him to undermine a kingdom's deference? The family in danger thing would be a bit more easy to swallow if he had not faced changelings before, as a mater a fact he should still be feeling guilty about failing his kingdom and be a bit more jumpy at stuff that even hints changeling and that Trixie appearance thing just screams changeling. It would have been an interesting foil to Sombra's plot not accounting for Shining's prior experience with imposters.
4627218
Even with panic and the like Anon12 has a point. As a guard-captain (especially the overall commander) he should have been indoctrinated to be able to think clearly, ESPECIALLY when ponies he must protect are in danger. That's not something that just... goes away. It feels like the twists in the plot's points hinge entirely on Shining Armor being unrealistically dense rather than said plot points themselves. How did he become Captain of the Royal Guard, defenders of the two mares who allow the world to continue living, and thus bodyguard to the lifeline of the planet - by being this simple-minded? You've not hinted that he's under manipulation magics or judgment-clouding auras or anything.
That last bit was too fishy with Trixie for anyone with a head on their shoulders in a magical world full of mind-twisting powers and evil creatures to go, "I should take this at face value. It's not like Trixie wouldn't do this, even though it'd completely ruin everything else she's been striving to do and puts her at my mercy." He wouldn't even have to worry about Twi and Cadance hating him or thinking he was lying. They'd listen if he pointed out with all seriousness that he was told by an eyewitness.
An eyewitness that he DID not bring back to the palace or barracks for interrogation, I might add.
It's a good story, but parts surrounding Shining are too unbelievable. Without "magic" being the answer, there's nothing in the story that allows for this, makes up for it, hints at it, or excuses it. Feels like Shining's ineptitude is an obvious plot device rather than a character flaw that's worked into the story.
Sombra is screwing up the Sparkle family!!!!
4627211 Holy crap you're right. I now half suspect the confrontation with Sombra to go like this:
Shining: "You're done Sombra!"
Sombra: "You don't need to foil my plan."
Shining: "I don't need to foil your plan."
Sombra: "I can go about my business."
Shining: "You can go about your business."
Sombra: "Move along."
Shining: "Move along. Move along."
4627004 I completely agree.
Whyyyyy shining? What did the wall do to you!
I'm calling Shining putting the amulet on (possibly becoming possessed by Sombra), Trixie beating him by finally accepting her true potential (possibly even becoming an alicorn in the process (I mean, hey, even Cadance somehow became one who knows how)) and love prevailing over evil and whatever.
I gotta agree with 4627157 4627308 and 4627452 on Shining falling for that a little too quickly, especially that first mare and Trixie going all evil overlord there at the end. Maybe adding Sombra or who/whatever it is messing with his mind a bit? I mean I liked the chapter, but that bit at the end came too quickly for my tastes and he ignored a lot of stuff that's gone down that would make more sense.
I do rather like the whole 'magical imprint' thing, though. Quite a clever addition there.
As strange as this may sound, the fact that Twilight is also being targeted by our bad guy makes me feel a bit better. If it was just Shining at risk it would be easier to see this eventually ending poorly for him and potentially other members of the family, but with multiple ponies as the target that drastically increases the chance that someone will notice what is going on before the dead bodies start to pile up.
Hmn, I can't help but agree with 4627452 a bit regarding Shining at this point. I was expecting a bit more of a long game of his emotions and logic being played with as opposed to the light speed drop into trouble we just got.
4627799
It's always the walls fault!
4627694
Yes he is.
4627211
Tis is lot in life to be the puppet and all others the puppeteers
4627925 4627987 4627308 4627452
But who knows, I may be able to pull one hell of 
before then! Maybe...possibly...
Let me reiterate from one of my earlier comments, Slice-of-Life isn't my forte, trying my best 
I'm starting to wonder if I should've even posted this chapter now...
4628234
You can do it! Just think of how to make the explanation seamless and feel natural to where it's placed in the chapter and the rest can continue as normal, is my advice.
Honestly, you're going too dark. Reel it back a little. Not every drama has to be a hyper-drama-mess, and I think the whole Sombra thing is going too far and turning a story that had enough interpersonal drama as it was into something that isn't fulfilling the promises of what it should be.
4628234 thats racist to walls!
Quick, put some EPIC! dramatic music, no time for questions nor proper tranlation.
4628234
That would be because you're not writing a Slice-of-Life fic anymore. This is now fully in adventure mode.
Still, it's not a bad story, and I'll keep following it, at least, but once you had introduced a true 'bad guy', you changed the tone of this piece greatly.
We'll see where this takes us.
--Spade
4628234
4627745
The puppet of many plots. Made of sterner stuff than others but will often be moved by the strings of fate.
Trixie and Shining Armor!? No. Just... no. I ain't buying it. I find it sad that the stallions of Equestria are pathetic wimps. I hope that isn't the case in every fic.
4628234
You may want to consider adding additional tags. Because, as others have stated, this story is no longer purely Slice of Life and anyone looking for a story solely based around it is going to be disappointed. I know that's exactly why I started reading this story.
Great chapter. It's moment like that make me wonder how he became Captain of the Guard.
I think I know what that shadow is up to and why Sabio became Sombra. Somepony better save Trixie or Shining will become 'Shattered Dreams' or something like that.
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He was plowing Princess Cadence's plot. Also, the Royal Guard are glorified lawn ornaments who's primary purpose is A) Look pretty and B) Answer stupid questions from tourists.
And I look forward to Shining running in and beating the shit out of Trixie in front of Twilight and Cadence. That'll be fun.
4627218 Sees this:
Hears this:
All my thoughts and doubts about this chapter have already been raised... and are rendered irrelevant by this Nope Cannon Target. In conclusion:
i841.photobucket.com/albums/zz340/DarkflareEX/200px-Nope_cannon.gif
Sombra, are you messing with Twilight's family? Fear, Hatred, Sorrow, and who's next?
4628472 River flows in you, how about that dramatic music
Man, Shiny held the idiot ball pretty hard this chapter, doesn't even think twice about the fact that he had three 'incidents' in a row that push him towards the suspicions he had of Trixie following a nightmare
I feel like all three of the siblings have communication issues, they could have talked this out, twilight said that she has a strong bond with shining, if you do then shouldn’t you be able to talk to each other, and I feel like twilight doesn’t take anything trixie says serious. On top of that trixie could have told twilight about her dream, but didn’t.