Reassurance and Inquiries
Small Town Chic was, as Ponyville's Pony of Ceremonies had predicted from the start, an absolute hit. The crème de la crème of high society was gathered everywhere, from local dignitaries in their sharp suits to some lesser royals bedecked in all their finery. Everypony was busy enjoying the multifarious attractions on offer, all of which had been meticulously planned by Rarity, with a little help from her friends of course. Indeed, one friend’s timely hammering into place of a few home-truths had ensured it all went off without a hitch.
Rarity sighed as she walked along in her fabulous dress, thinking back on the day's earlier events with both regret and embarrassment. Such thoughts were quickly banished, however, as a pony waved and stepped out from the crowd to greet her.
"Trend." She put on a brave smile as she approached the handsome travel writer whose attention she had been so desperate to attract before. The former object of my affection, she thought sadly, although perhaps “my obsession” might be more accurate.
"Hello, Miss Rarity," he replied, smiling that damnably dashing smile which still made her heart flutter even after the earlier debacle.
"This Festival has got to be one of the best I have ever had the pleasure of attending. I'll be sure to write a very favourable piece for my next article, mark my words."
"Well I'm glad you’re enjoying it, Trenderhoof," she said with a more genuine smile. "It was my pleasure to organise it all, once I got my head together, that is..." They shared a grimace as they recalled the memories, before the bespectacled stallion coughed quietly and spoke again, somewhat more sombrely this time.
"I'm sorry for making a fool of myself, Miss Rarity. And please apologise to your friend, Miss Applejack, for me as well. I don't think I could face her again, and I really think I should be heading off around now if I want to have my article ready."
"O-oh, you're leaving? S-so soon, I mean? There are still a few more hours left to go..." In spite of everything, a small part of Rarity was not quite ready to give up the fight yet, even though it knew it was fighting a losing battle.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. Don't worry, I've seen more than enough to speak volumes for your town's excellent taste and ability. And, of course, your own." A slight pinkness made its presence felt on Rarity's cheeks, but she refused to simper and swoon as she had before, instead remaining more-or-less steadfast as he looked around wistfully.
"It's a pity, though: I don't suppose I'll see another mare quite like Applejack ever again."
"...no. No, I suppose she is quite special, isn't she?" Trenderhoof, oblivious as ever, nodded sagely.
"Yeah, she is." A moment's silence passed between them, uncomfortable only for the silently pining mare, before the trendy stallion collected himself and bowed his head to her.
"Anyway, I'd better get going. Thank you for the very pleasant evening, Miss Rarity. Goodnight." With that he stooped and took her hoof, kissing it lightly, before releasing it and turning about.
Rarity stood stunned as she watched him walk away, all manner of conflicting emotions boiling through her being at the unexpected contact. He kissed her. On the hoof, yes, and as no more than a pleasantry, certainly, but still, he kissed her! After which he was simply leaving with no intention of fulfilling any of the romantic scenarios Rarity had envisaged between them. She didn't know whether to sigh in defeat, growl in anger, or moan in despair, so she set her considerable powers of expression to the task of doing all three at once.
"Oh Rarity, I really am sorry." The unicorn turned her head to see Applejack, her erstwhile, unintentional rival for Trenderhoof's heart, walk up beside her and place a comforting hoof on her shoulder, a hoof which still sparkled and gleamed in the flickering lights of the evening. Her own dress was as immaculate as Rarity's, and her coiffure, if anything, was maintaining its shape even better than her own, perhaps because the earth pony had not needed to move around so much to make sure everything was running smoothly. It was nice of Applejack to remain "gussied up", as she would have put it, for the duration of the Festival even though it wasn't normally her thing, an act which was not lost on Rarity. Perhaps it was her way of showing solidarity, to let Rarity know that there was definitely no ill will between them. Whatever the reason, Rarity was thankful, and judging from the looks the farmer had been receiving all night, so were the stallions present.
"Walk with me, Applejack?" Rarity asked, a small smile of thanks splaying across her lips. "I rather think I could use a drink."
"Well, why don't we go rustle up some cider; I'm sure Big Mac'll have some set aside for us." Applejack replied with a chuckle, before the two headed off to the stall with merrymaking on the mind.
"Mmm, it is simply glorious what your family is capable of producing!" Rarity sighed contentedly as the sweet taste of cider washed down her throat. She allowed her posture to relax a little in the cool night air, letting loose some of the tension from her busy day.
"Well thank you kindly, Rarity! It's always nice to hear ponies say that." Applejack smiled at her friend and swigged from her own cider, savouring each and every drop as only an Apple knows how. She glanced around to see that few ponies now remained due to the increasing lateness of the hour, which would make it easier to talk, thankfully.
"So how you feeling now?" she asked, shuffling a little closer so that they were side by side.
"Oh, Applejack..." Rarity sighed, looking downcast as the hidden thoughts began to reveal themselves. "I feel like such a fool. I got myself so worked up about Trenderhoof's visit, convinced yet again that here at last was my knight in shining armour, and once again I was proved wrong." She huffed and pouted. "You might have thought I would learn my lesson but no, I let my imagination run wild and it only caused trouble again. After my hopes were inevitably shot down-"
"Now hold on a minute there," Applejack interrupted, looking slightly concerned. "What in Equestria makes y'all think it was inevitable?"
"Because I've been through all this before, haven't I? First Blueblood, now Trenderhoof. I become infatuated with a dashing stallion, I place him on a pedestal, I get my hopes all built up and then everything comes crashing down around me. My track record lives up to its previous reputation: dreadful." Having by this point imbibed a few Apple Family Refreshments, Rarity felt unconcerned about dropping her head to the table in front of her, her whole body drooping despondently.
"I mean, am I setting my standards too high? Is it completely unrealistic to hope for another Shining Armour-type to show up and sweep me off my hooves? Or should I just give up and settle for what I can get?" She sighed again, staring into her half-empty glass as she swirled it in front of her. "And of course, saying that just makes me sound snobbish, as though I thought myself above any of the perfectly decent, very respectable stallions our own fair Ponyville has to offer. Big Mac, for example, is certainly quiet, but without a doubt one of the cleverest ponies I know next to Twilight. He's... they're just..."
"Ain't your type?" Applejack had remained silent during her friend's monologue, but felt this was as good a place as any to add her two bits. "Ain't nothing wrong with that, Rarity. If that's what you're into, then that's what you're into. A perfect prince might be hard to come by, but there's gotta be some of them out there, right? Otherwise nopony'd think to wish for 'em. And if anypony I know's capable of getting her hooves on one, it's you, Rarity. If that's the kinda stallion you've got your heart set on, then one of 'em's bound to show up eventually." Applejack smiled her easy smile, and Rarity couldn't help but feel buoyed by her friend's encouragement. She sat up and pulled the earth pony into a hug.
"Thank you, Applejack. Yet again you provide shining words of wisdom when I need them the most. And speaking of shining," she added, pulling away and grasping one of her friend's hooves, "how on earth have you been keeping your hooves in such amazing condition? My own polish began to wear off hours ago, but yours doesn't even seem to have dimmed. Not to mention your whole ensemble is absolutely divine. What's your secret? Have you a fabulous streak that you've been keeping secret from me?"
"Fabulous streak? Me?" Applejack chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm a few things, Rarity, but unless you're involved then "fabulous" ain't normally one of them." She pulled her hoof back to examine its sheen once again as she recounted her tale.
"You see my Aunt and Uncle Orange came visiting in time for the Festival, and it "just so happened", apparently, that Aunt Orange had packed almost her entire supply of makeup and whatnot, just in case I wanted to try it out again. She always does that, but most of the time I ain't for it. Except on this occasion, when y'all went off on your "simple life" nonsense, I ran back home with that dress to ask for her help in making me "fabulous". She whips out the hoof polish and all kinds of other things besides, and we go turn the bathroom and guest bedroom into a good imitation of some fancy salon. A few quick reminders about etiquette and elocution later, and "Applejewel" is ready to go!"
"Why, how marvellous!" Rarity exclaimed, almost giddy as she imagined the whole thing being put together. "Well then, you simply must ask your aunt which brand of polish she uses. Perhaps you could even suggest she pops into the Boutique before she leaves? Having another contact in Manehattan certainly wouldn't hurt."
"Sure thing, Rarity, I'll tell her you want to say hello."
"Thank you again, Applejack, I really do appreciate it."
They fell into a companionable silence, both mares sipping at their cider whilst the small crowd became steadily thinner. It didn't last long, however, as Rarity thought of something else to ask.
"Applejack?"
"Mhm?"
"What exactly did you yourself think of Trenderhoof?" The question hung in the air for a few moments as Applejack thought, and she took another sip of cider before replying.
"Well, he seemed like a nice enough feller, I guess. A bit eager, perhaps, but I guess I couldn't fault him for trying. He just..." Applejack paused, searching for the right way to phrase her thoughts, before she smiled again and looked back at Rarity. "I guess he just ain't my type."
"I did wonder," Rarity nodded, although she then looked confused. "But why? Trenderhoof has to be one of the most eligible bachelors in all Equestria, yet you showed no interest in him whatsoever."
"I can't stand hipsters." There was another moment of silence before Rarity burst out laughing, falling to her back and rolling from side to side without a care in the world. Watching her display, Applejack couldn't help but join her friend in laughter, although she managed to remain upright.
Rarity meanwhile was positively whooping and struggling to draw breath. When she managed to get herself under control and right herself, the fashionista pulled her farmer friend into another hug, this one with an affectionate squeeze thrown in for good measure.
"Oh Applejack, I cannot begin to tell you how much I needed that!"
"Glad to be of service, Rarity," she chuckled, patting her on the back. When they separated again, Applejack looked around and was surprised to see that they were the only two in the area. "Hoo-ee, guess we might've been talking for longer than we thought!"
"Oh my goodness, yes, look at the time!" The festivities had ended long ago, and it had gotten rather dark outside.
"Tell you what, Rarity," Applejack said, motioning towards the farmhouse. "How about you come and sleep in the other guest bedroom tonight, it's quite a walk in the dark back to the Boutique."
"That is a very generous offer, Applejack, but I'm not sure about just laying this dress over anything but a mannequin."
"Aunt Orange is bound to have something you can use, she always packs spares of that sort of thing. Practically need a whole train carriage for all their stuff, the pair of y'all will get on great!” They shared another chuckle as Rarity relented and the pair headed for Applejack’s home.
A few hours later saw the two in one of the Apples’ guest rooms, Rarity’s for the night, sitting side by side on the bed with a mug of cocoa apiece. They were busy talking about nothing, little snippets and half-conversations that didn’t really adding up to anything of merit, but were enjoyable nonetheless. A laugh went up as they remembered a minor incident from after they had come in. They had completely overlooked the cleaning up needed from the Festival earlier, and had resultantly faced the wrath of Big Macintosh, who had been forced to do most of it himself. It was quickly forgotten though because Rarity, still feeling the effects of her cider, had quite shamelessly kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for all his hard work that day, leaving the poor stallion a flustered wreck who had walked into the doorframe twice as he tried to leave the room.
“Oh he was adorable!” Rarity exclaimed, a nod from Applejack showing her agreement.
“Eeyup! Ain’t much that can make him blush like that; now I’ve got something to tease him with for months to come!”
“Honestly, though, it was only a little peck on the cheek! You’d think I had just asked him to marry me!”
“Well, to be fair, some stallions just ain’t all that confident around pretty mares. Mac’s alright, he’s had to get used to my friends coming round, after all,” at which she winked at Rarity, who blushed at the compliment, “but anything more than talking’s liable to get him all in a tizzy, like you saw. ‘Course, it ain’t just stallions who can get all worked up over talking to the opposite gender, if you get my meaning.” The grin she bore spoke volumes by itself.
“For your information, Applejack,” Rarity replied with a mock huff, having understood precisely what her friend was referring to, “I am perfectly capable of handling myself around stallions, and in fact I am normally the one turning their heads, not the other way around. However, when I find myself enamoured by a particularly desirable specimen, I admit I can sometimes behave like a total schoolfilly. Such is not precisely uncommon behaviour amongst mares when their hearts are aflutter.”
Suddenly a thoughtful look came over her, and she sat silent for a few moments, occasionally glancing at Applejack.
“What?” said mare asked eventually, leaning back in trepidation as she did so.
“Applejack?”
“Yes?”
“Non-hipster aside, what precisely do you look for in a stallion, then? Because thinking about it now, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you pay the slightest bit of attention to them. What about that farmhoof you hire on occasion? He may not have your brother’s physique, but he seems quite nice.”
“Who, Caramel? Nah.” Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. “No offense to the feller, I just feel he’s a bit soft, is all. Little scatter-brained too, to be honest.” She brought her hoof to her chin, and put more thought into the matter then she had previously felt necessary. Before long, though, she just shrugged.
“Can’t say whether I have a type or not, if you want the truth. That Soarin’ feller was pretty nice to look at, before he got pie all over his face, that is. Also, your friend Fancy Pants sure seemed like a proper gentlecolt, and he looked the part in that getup. And Shining Armour might be off limits, but he’s one half of a very pretty couple, and probably the most worthwhile and genuine stallion I’ve met besides Big Mac.” By unspoken accord, the two mares spent a moment thinking about that most unfathomable of desires: a best friend’s older brother. Rarity’s thoughts, admittedly, did shift ever so slightly to include Big Mac as well as Shining Armour. Her type or not, he was still nice to think about.
“Well, anyway,” Rarity said, clearing her throat (and her mind, as best she could), “all that being said, you must have something you judge by. Even just generalities, surely?”
“I suppose?” Applejack shrugged. “Tall, dark, handsome, ain’t afraid of getting his hooves dirty, doesn’t shirk his responsibilities, kind and funny, the usual sort of stuff. I’m not too fussy either way; so long as we click in some way or another then that’s good enough for me. If he makes me happy, and I make him happy, then that’ll be a job well done in my book.”
She nodded, happy with her summation, before glancing at the clock and laughing slightly.
“Well, that’s the second time tonight we’ve let the time run away with us, Rares. Hate to cut short our little chat but I’ve got chores to do in the morning, and I’m sure you’ll have your Boutique to attend to as well.”
“Oh Celestia, like you wouldn’t believe!” Rarity exclaimed, albeit with a grin. “I’ll need to prepare some designs for the orders that are just bound to come flooding in once Trenderhoof’s article is published. Yes, I imagine we shall all be quite busy in the near future, and that’s no bad thing of course.”
“Darn tootin’!” Applejack shared in her grin, and they hugged one last time before Applejack went to leave.
“Goodnight, Rarity. Sleep tight!”
“Goodnight, Applejack. And thank you again for all your help, and your kind words.”
“Ain’t a thing, happy to help! See you in the morning!”
“Yes, see you then.”
Applejack left, and Rarity was alone in the room at last. After splashing some water on her face from the sink in the small en suite, she settled into the big, comfy bed and sighed contentedly. She then sighed slightly less contentedly, when she remembered that she was just as without boyfriend as she had been prior to Trenderhoof’s arrival. Rarity had been so sure she would be able to win over his affections, too! A brief few seconds were once more indulged in pining for what might have been, before Applejack’s words came back to her and promptly cheered her up again:
A perfect prince might be hard to come by, but there's gotta be some of them out there, right? … If that's the kinda stallion you've got your heart set on, then one of 'em's bound to show up eventually.
Of course, Applejack’s more laidback stance on such matters, as far as her own interests were concerned, gave Rarity some food for thought. By the sounds of things, Applejack could end up with anypony from a pauper to a prince and be content, so long as they “worked” as a couple. Perhaps, instead of “lowering her standards”, or at least her expectations, but simply widening her scope, Rarity might have a greater chance of romantic success in the future?
“A thought for another time, I think,” she announced, quietly, to the room around her. It had been a long day, and she needed her rest for inspiration to properly strike tomorrow. So she turned off the little bedside lamp, closed her eyes, and dreamed of perfect princes, knowing that somewhere out there was her own prince, and he was bound to find her sooner or later.
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4045969 First thing's first:
*deep breath in*
WHYWOULDYOUDOTHATTOMEINTHEMESSAGEDOYOUHAVEANYIDEAHOWWORRIEDIWASFORTHESECONDSITTOOKTOLOADTHESTORYUPANDSEEWHATYOUWEREACTUALLYSAYING???!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Calm, calm, deep breaths, deep breaths...
It's not working!
*ahem*
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
You assh... silly pony, you.
You can indeed feel free to add my story to that list you mentioned, and I shall go attend to the issues you have raised.
Apart from the spelling. That's how we Brits spell those words. Pesky Yanks...
Thank you for the amazingly thorough going-over (I don't know why I'm still surprised by that, although it's probably because I hardly ever have anything to show you
), and I shall give you a shout when I've sorted things out a bit. 
4045969 And one other, little thing:
I thought you weren't supposed to end a quote with a full stop if the sentence then carries on after it?
4045969 And that should, with any luck, be that. What do you think?
Regarding p38s1, Yes, you are correct in saying you don't end a quote with a full stop if the sentence carries on after. However because the quote continues on a separate line (p39), you enter this gross grey area where everything's just yucky and blurred.
Like do you know how annoying it is dealing with blurred lines? Try making a sandwich that way.
Yeah, not so funny, is it?!
The fix to this is simply combine p38/39 into one paragraph. (Just delete the spacing between the two. In general though, if a quote continues on, you generally want it to continue on as part of the same paragraph.
As for spelling, I made sure to double-check everything on Meriam Webster, and when I typed in "sombrely" nothing came up (and generally they include British spellings). Also in all my readings (which include a large number of British authors), I do not recall ever encountering that spelling. That being said, if you're sure it's right, then keep it.
And you are most welcome Jet. It's always nice to see an author really spread his/her wings, and soar.
I'm just glad I could at least be of some use, some assistance to somepony.
4047508
4050569
It's not really a grey area if you consider the actual sequence of events being described.
The first part, in green, is a line of dialogue followed by an attribution of who said it and how ("she chuckled") and an action ("patting her on the back") which occurs simultaneously with Applejack speaking that line of dialogue. There is then an implied passage of time during the subsequent actions which are not simultaneous with her speaking the first line of dialogue (in blue), and then Applejack speaks again (in orange) after the events in blue. Therefore, that first line, as dialogue-plus-attribution-plus-simultaneous-action, must be punctuated as shown, with a comma at the end of the dialogue.
A period would only be correct if the intended sequence of events was that Applejack chuckles and pats Rarity on the back after she finishes speaking, not while she's speaking.
That being said, it would be better to eliminate the space between, like so:
Since Applejack is still the speaker, it's unnecessary to insert a paragraph break there.
Oh, one other thing about the formatting: your paragraph indentation is inconsistent. Either indent all paragraphs, regardless of whether they contain dialogue or not, or indent none of them; don't mix styles. (Note also that if you go with "indent none", the extra line of space between paragraphs is mandatory; if you indent all paragraphs, it's technically optional, though I think it looks somewhat better to do it anyway; it just seems easier to read on a screen.) If you imported this from Google Docs, it's probably an import error; GDocs likes to screw that up for some reason.
(You done bein' pedantic now, sugarcube?)
(Oh, like you even know what "pedantic" means, Applejack.)
(*ahem* Pedantic: overly concerned with minute details, formal rules an' book learnin'.)
(...)
(She's got you there, darling.)
4052361 Thank you for the clarification.
As to the indentation, I think that may mostly be down to us having different ideas of where a paragraph begins and ends in this story. I don't have the time to explain what I mean right now, but I shall come back and clarify in... a couple of hours?
4052361 Never mind, back now.
Basically it's just that I leave a space between new lines of dialogue and the lines that came before them. I feel that it looks a bit cleaner than having everything clustered together, new line for dialogue or not. This could be confusing when it comes to picking out when a new paragraph actually starts, and that's why I use indents in those places.
What do you think, is that still a bit confusing?
Organize is spelled wrong
It was ok...pretty good. The dialogue I found a bit hard to follow though, but other than that, it was pretty good
4052641
Not necessarily; "organise" is an alternate spelling, common in the UK and Australia. Given that the author also insists on using that extra "u" in "color"...
4052506
(Speaking of British vs. American English, BTW, Applejack's line of dialogue:
is a bit off. An American – and with that accent, AJ is very definitely a Southern USA farm girl
– would say "I'm sure Big Mac'll have some set aside for us", not "put by.")
Anyway – yes, the formatting is confusing, and technically incorrect. By definition, a new paragraph is marked by the indentation of the first line, and/or by leaving a line of blank space beween lines of text. So, for example:
By leaving those blank empty spaces between lines, which I marked with the red ¶ symbols, you have by definition begun a new paragraph. The indentation, marked by », also begins a new paragraph, by definition.
If something is meant to be one paragraph, then you have to format it as one paragraph – which means no extra space between lines, and no extra indentations. You can't spread it out across multiple indented, whitespace-separated lines and still call it one paragraph.
4052725 Oh...
4052725 4052729 I do insist on it! 'Tis how 'tis spelt!
Pesky Yanks...
As for formatting: yeah, I suppose so.
And thanks for your tip on British v American English for AJ's dialogue, EquesTRON.
EDIT: Actually, having changed it about a bit, I'm not really so fond of how it looks. It may be technically incorrect, but I just think it'll be easier to read if it's more spaced out. And having checked some other stories by popular authors I see they have often done similarly to myself. This doesn't mean any of us are right, but oh well. I shall face the consequences if and when any arise!
4053034
Spacing the paragraphs out is fine, just don't indent some and not others. (A lot of people around here write "loose" instead of "lose" and think "it's" is the possessive, too. Doesn't mean they're right.) It's confusing, because the visual cue of where a new paragraph actually starts is not consistent.
Don't feel singled out, though; if I'd seen any of those other authors doing it, I'd've called them out on it too.
(And dialogue is always tricky when you're trying to write a character who uses a vernacular different from your own, to be sure. Even here in the States, there are occasions when something that's a common and well-known expression in the southern states is completely unknown up north, or vice-versa, despite the fact that we all supposedly speak "American" here!
)
4053236 Well it's good to know you're equally discriminatory to everyone.
A really nice story here. I like episode reflections.
4054819 Thank you.
Super cute story
4055610 Thank you also.
That was a nice, relaxing read. Would have been perfect just before going to bed, but it's noon and I'm at work, unfortunately...
Also, thanks for making me learn a new word. I'm sure I'll have multifarious chances to use it in the future
4061300 I apologise for your unfortunate timing.
And indeed, 'tis a good word.
Nice work Jet cannon, like and fav from me.
4135723 Why thank you.
Cute fic.
4178233 Thank you for saying so.
And ooh, I recognise you!
You can has review!