Chapter 2: Preparations for the Journey
On the next morning, the usually so quiet air on Sweet Apple Acres was permeated with loud construction sounds of hammering, sawing and drilling.
A bunch of four delivery ponies who were carrying some furniture towards the source of the sounds shook their heads, visibly displeased to carry the heavy pieces from Ponyville all the way to the farm outside of town. As they had arrived on Sweet Apple Acres, they saw three fillies that the town knew all too well building something that looked like a small house in progress.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had gotten up very early this day, their excitement for their plans making it unable for them to sleep any longer. Since hours already, they were busy with constructing the shop and even though it wasn't even noon yet, the scaffold of their shop stood. Now the fillies were busy with drawing marks on different-sized planks and cutting them to the fitting lenghts for the various parts of the shop. Each of them was so concentrated on her work that nopony of them noticed the delivery ponies approaching.
They announced themselves, noting that the furniture that was ordered for Sweet Apple Acres had arrived. The fillies didn't hear them and acted like they weren't there at all. Glances were exchanged between the delivery ponies, then one of the stallions in the group harrumphed loudly. “The furniture is here!” he said sharply.
This made the trio look up. Looking first at him, then at his co-workers, then at the furniture. Sheepish grins appeared on their faces, their eyes emanating an apologetic expression. “Ahm sorry!” Apple Bloom said while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle continued to give them charming grins of embarrassment. “Just put them down here.” She pointed to a spot some meters to their right. “Applejack is in the house,” she said then, then she looked down again and proceeded with her work. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle followed her example and none of the three paid the ponies who brought the furniture for the interior of their shop anymore attention.
The stallion snorted, then he and his co-workers brought all the pieces they were carrying to the spot Apple Bloom had shown them. As this was done, the ponies turned around, intended to make their way over to the farmhouse, as they suddenly saw Applejack standing behind them. She was making a grim face. The four workmates shuddered a little over the way she looked, but then they noticed that she wasn't even looking at them. She was scrutinizing the furniture that they just brought to the farm. Very slowly, her eyes wandered over the cabinets, the small fitted kitchen, the table, the three chairs and the three-part bunk bed. She looked unsatisfied with the furniture and the four ponies in front of her already prepared themselves for it that she would complain about it. But then she hoofed them the money, part of which was the farm's, with the rest of the amount consisting of money from Sweetie Belle's parents and Cheerilee, and the four ponies bowed their heads a little and then left.
The three families had chipped in to pay for the furniture, as well as for the necessary material to build the wheeled shop. And some of the money came from Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle themselves as well. Even though they couldn't afford it to bring up all the money on their own, they still wanted to make a financial contribution to their journey. So the three friends put in the money they had left from selling Apple Bloom's potions and their own savings. Which was to Applejack's dismay. A little bit of money to start out at the beginning of their journey in case something went wrong would have put her more at ease with the dangerous and, in her opinion, reckless plan the three young ponies, especially her own little sister, had made. Until they were at the shop earlier this morning, so that they could get the furniture of their choice, she had tried to talk them out of it, but eventually, she gave up, as the fillies just continued to resist and insisted on it to put in their own money too.
Applejack sighed. Apple Bloom just didn't know what she was doing. As she sat together at the table with her little sister and her two friends, who had decided to relocate their breakfast on the farm today, early this morning, she was close to forbid it again. Only a angry glance by Granny Smith, who seemed to be able to read her mind, or perhaps just the expession in her eyes, prevented her from saying something. But nonetheless, she did not really agree to the plan. She couldn't.
Applejack sighed a second time, then she set herself into motion, trotted over to the fillies and began to pace around them. Just drawing circles around the Crusaders, her face showing a suspicious expression, she closely eyed what they did with the wooden planks. A few minutes went by like that until she was noticed.
“Psst!” Sweetie Belle said, looking over to Apple Bloom.
The yellow filly looked back at her friend. “Yeah?”
“What is Applejack doing?” Sweetie Belle asked her.
Now Apple Bloom noticed the strange behavior of her big sister too. She followed Applejack's movements with her eyes a little, then she spoke up to her. “Uh, Applejack? Why are ya wanderin' around us like that?”
“Ahm just watchin' ya workin',” she said rather monotone, her voice sounding absent.
Scootaloo had looked up too by now and exchanged a strained, and slightly frightened, look with Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle's face showed a similar expression.
“It's just that ya creepin' us out a little, Applejack,” Apple Bloom spoke again. The look in Applejack's face remained and she didn't bat an eye and just continued pacing. It was like the mare was in trance.
The three fillies gulped. “I go inside for a moment,” Sweetie Belle said then, put down her pencil and went into the farmhouse. As she returned, Granny Smith was at her side. A hushed talk with Applejack later and she stopped her incessant circling. Instead, she went to the pile of planks that still needed to be cut to size and inspected them. Here and there, she lifted one up and knocked against it, like she wanted to see how robust it was.
The trio of friends sighed relieved. Even though they knew that Applejack wouldn't do something to them, the peculiar behavior of her scared them a little. But now that she was busy doing something else, they could concentrate on their work again. After an hour or so had passed, they were ready and had all the planks cut to the right size. Now it was time for more hammering, to attach them to the scaffold as the inner and outer paneling of their wheeled shop that would make its actual walls and its surface.
As the paneling was attached everywhere but at the backwall of the shop, they put down the hammers for a moment and carried in the furniture for their future home. With some help of Big Mac, they carried in the bunk bed first and placed it at the back of the room, with the headboard at the right wall. Next was the kitchen, that got its position at the right side of the room, just in a meter's distance from the big bed. The table and the three chairs found their place to its left, right in the middle of the room and finally, they carried in the cabinets; the two smaller ones were put down by them beside the kitchen, the bigger one at the opposite side of the room, left from the door that led into their actual shop. As this was done, they took the hammers again and finished the work they had begun.
Applejack was still eyeing them closely while they did all that, but at least she was staying at a safe distance now and did not constantly look over their shoulders. A state that the three friends appreciated. Sadly, it didn't last long.
As they were finished two hours later, Apple Bloom began to construct the doors while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were taking a little break. She was building two of them:
One for the entrance of the private part of their shop, the part where they would sleep in, have their lunches and where they would relax after a long day of potion selling. The part in which they would live in.
And another door for the entrance of their actual shop. Apple Bloom had planned that their shop could only be entered from the living area of their home, not from the outside. It would be easier to protect the shop from burglars who intended to steal their potions or the money they earned, she figured. She also made the door that led to the outside a bit thicker, to make it more durable in case they would come into extreme weather conditions or if the emergency should arise that somepony tried to break in.
Additionally, she was constructing a small hatch. On the backside of their living area, left of their beds, there was a quadratic hole that led out to the seats at the front of the wheeled shop. The hatch would cover the hole so that they could close it when they didn't need it.
She had just finished the two doors and the hatch, the doors equipped with locks they had left at Sweet Apple Acres, as Applejack suddenly stood in front of her while she was doing a last check to see if everything was done alright. Without saying a word, her big sister placed another lock on the last door that Apple Bloom had built, the door that was the entrance to their living area. A stern expression was on her face.
Apple Bloom looked up surprised to her. The look on Applejack's face slightly intimated her, it was the first time that Applejack looked at her that sternly. Then she looked down at the lock Applejack had brought with her and, noticing what it was, she explained her big sister that she already had built in a lock into all of the doors.
But Applejack just shook her head, slowly, without letting Apple Bloom out of her sight. “It's another one,” she said taught. “Apple Bloom, ah want that ya build a second lock into this door.”
What Apple Bloom just saw now was that it was a special security lock. It could be opened with a key too, but because it was enchanted with magic, it was only possible to insert the key at one side of the door, at the inside, and it was even impossible to use a lockpick to open it. Every intruder who would try to forcefully unlock the door from the outer side would get blown off of his hooves by a magical impact. Its power depended on it how hard the intruder was trying to get in. If somepony would really try to crack the lock open with some heavy instruments, the impact was even strong enough to be lethal. It was the ultimate way to protect your home from other ponies breaking in. But it was only available for purchase in Canterlot. And on top of that, due to it that it had the potential to kill a pony that was trying to crack it open, it raised a lot of controversy when it came onto the market and it was quickly declared illegal. This was a few years ago and the only place where a pony could still buy such a lock was on the black market in Equestria's capital city. It was an absolute mystery to Apple Bloom how Applejack got her hooves at one and that even in such a short amount of time!
And what was worse, she didn't like Applejack's demand. “But Applejack, ahm already finished with the door. If ah build a second lock into it, ah will have ta change so many things and we're losin' a lot of time!” The filly frowned at her big sister.
“Ah don't care about that, Apple Bloom.” A strict answer came from her. “Ah want that ya stay safe on this journey and Twilight's magical doohickey ain't be enough!”
The filly attempted to protest again. “But Applejack, we want ta –“
“Ah already told ya yesterday that ah don't wanna hear any “buts” on this, Apple Bloom!” Applejack cut her little sister off and stomped with her hoof on the ground, her face distorted in anger. She had raised her voice a lot while she said that, a mixture of worry and fury clearly audible in it.
Apple Bloom winced over this reaction of her big sister and did a step back from the table on which she had been working on the doors. She didn't understand the world anymore. Even though her sister was sometimes overprotective and too worried about her well-being, she had never yelled at her like that. She had never talked to her that loudly. And never so furiously. And she had never stomped her hoof into the ground like that. It was completely new for her to hear her big sister talk with her in such a way. In this moment, she felt like she didn't know Applejack anymore. It frightened her.
Taken aback by the harsh reaction, Apple Bloom sat down. A few tears dropped from her eyes and fell to the ground in front of her, before more of them streamed down her cheeks. Apple Bloom was not an overly sensitive filly, but her big sister acting like that to her was too much, even for a brave, perseverant filly like her. Having closed her eyes, she began to sob quietly.
In a matter of seconds, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who had overheard everything, were at her side. “What happened, Apple Bloom? Why was Applejack yelling like this?” Scootaloo asked her. As she didn't receive an answer except for more sobs, she turned her attention to Applejack, who still looked sternly at her little sister, a disapproving and at the same time confused expression on her face. “Why did you talk with her like that?!” she asked her upset.
“She is your little sister.” was all that Sweetie Belle could muster as criticism. Her eyes and mouth were widely open in shock as she stared at Applejack.
From one moment to another, and as sudden as her harsh outburst had come over her, an expression of guilt and shock washed over Applejack's face. The accusatory words of the other two fillies had snapped her out of her furious state and now she realized what she had done. She bit her lip for a moment as Apple Bloom's distraught crying stung in her heart just now. Shakingly, Applejack trotted around the table. She sat down at her little sister's side and reached out with her hooves to pull Apple Bloom into a close hug. The first attempt failed, as Apple Bloom instinctively pushed her bigger sister's hooves aside, signaling how much she was hurt by her reaction, but a second, more desperate attempt, led to success and Applejack was holding her little sister tightly against her.
“Ahm sorry, Apple Bloom,” she began with an apologetic talk. “Ah don't know what's gotten into me for a moment there.”
The little filly sniffed a few times, trying to gather some courage to talk. “W-Why did ya scream at me l-like this? A-Ah haven't done anything b-bad. Ah just w-want ta go on a j-journey with mah friends. And ah just d-didn't wanted ta d-do everything again.....” she finally managed to say, but was interrupted by her sobbing.
“Ah know, Apple Bloom.” Applejack's voice didn't sound any less teary now. “Ahm just so afraid that something is happenin' to ya while ya are gone. Losin' mah little sister..... Ah couldn't bear that.”
Apple Bloom moved away from her chest and looked up to her, the hair in her face drenched with her tears and a shimmer of red skin shining through it. Then she leaned against her again. “M-Maybe ah shouldn't go then,” she said quietly. “If it's w-worryin' ya so m-much.”
Alarming looks appeared on the faces of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, but Applejack said something before they could.
“No, Apple Bloom.” She sighed. “Ah am worried sick about ya and ahm goin' ta miss ya a lot while ya'll be gone.” She reached with a hoof under Apple Bloom's chin and lifted it up so that she could look into her eyes that were still full of tears. “But mah little sister is growin' up and ah can't prevent that from happenin'. If ya really want ta make this journey then ah..... ah have ta let ya go.” A few tears appeared in her own eyes now. “Just promise that ya'll goin' to be as smart as ya acted when ya met that chimera during the pie delivery if anythin' dangerous happens.”
Upon hearing these words, Apple Bloom's expression had turned into a compassionate one. Now it was her who wrapped Applejack into a hug. She buried her face into her neck. “Ah promise, Applejack! Ah will do everything ta stay fine. And ah will build in the lock ya gave me!”
“Thanks, Apple Bloom.” Applejack put her hooves around her little sister's body and pressed her tightly against her again.
“And..... Ah guess ya won't mind if ah do the same as Scootaloo? If ah write ya once a week?” Apple Bloom asked her big sister.
Applejack responded with a chuckle. “Of course ah won't mind. Ah look forward ta every letter ya'll be sending me, Big Mac and Granny!”
Apple Bloom released the hug and faced her sister again. She rubbed the last tears out of her eyes and smiled at her. Then she gently nuzzled her nose, which Applejack returned with a nuzzle on her own.
“Let's go and fix the door now, shall we?”, Applejack asked her then. “Ahm goin' ta help ya and then we're done in a jiffy!”
Apple Bloom agreed happily and together the two sisters began to work, assisted by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
Soon they were finished and as Apple Bloom already wanted to proceed with building in the door, the four ponies noticed that the sun was already going down and that it was starting to become dark. Their shop wasn't quite finished yet, but there was no point in working in the dark, so the three friends decided to call it a day and to finish everything tomorrow.
The next day began a little bit later for them, at least for Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They were exhausted from the work on the day before and, not being as used to get up early as Apple Bloom was, they overslept. The sun was already making its way to the highest point in the sky when they arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. To their surprise, Apple Bloom and her big sister were already working on the shop. They were busy with hanging the entrance door on its hinges and fixating it there as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle approached them. As they had reached them, they drove in the last two screws, then they turned around to them.
“Heya Scoots and Sweetie!” Apple Bloom welcomed them cheerfully, visibly happy, as Applejack put a hoof around her and gave her a noogie with the other one. “Ya late,” Apple Bloom added then.
“Yeah, we overslept because we were so tired from yesterday,” Sweetie Belle explained their late arrival, which Scootaloo confirmed with a nod.
“That's not bad,” Apple Bloom calmed them. “Applejack and ah already built in all the doors and the hatch. There's not much left anymore now. Soon we'll be ready ta leave!”
The promising announcement by Apple Bloom filled the other two fillies with new energy and quickly they went to work again. Since Applejack was helping them now, they had it easier and were faster.
They took the two biggest planks and put them on top of the shop and the next thing they knew was that the roof of the shop was in it's place, ready to fulfill its purpose of protecting them from rain and snow. It was raised a bit on the front right, where their beds stood, to generate more room for the one of them who would sleep in the top bunk.
In the next step, Apple Bloom was constructing the wheels of their shop and the axels for them, while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were at the front of it, glueing some cushions on the seats there. As the wheels were constructed, the three fillies lifted up the shop and rested it on them, once again with Big Mac's and, this time, also Applejack's help. The fillies reached once more for hammers and nails and fixated the wheels on the construction. Then they replaced hammer and nails with screwdrivers and screws and took the last plank they had for building their shop. They placed it over the window of their shop on the left side, at which they wanted to welcome customers during their journey, and, with Big Mac holding it in position, the three fillies were driving in the screws through holes in the hinges of it.
As the lid to close their shop window was securely at its place, they closed it and reached for some buckets with paint and began to draw a picture on the lid. As they were done, the lid was adorned with the depiction of a vial that contained a green, bubbling potion, with thick green lines, to symbolize the scent of the potion, leading away from it.
Then they were finished. Their wheeled shop stood and was prepared for their journey!
Excitedly, they let their brushes drop into the buckets like on a invisible command and darted into the inside of their shop. With widely opened eyes, they looked around in what should soon be their new home. There was not much room anymore to trot between all the furniture and they probably would have to move the table and one of the chairs to the side a little if they wanted to enter the shop, but the fillies liked what they saw. It was cozy.
After admiring everything in the room, they opened the door of their shop and stormed into it. They opened the lid and fixated it with a stick, to test the view they had when looking out of their shop window. Leaning on the board in front of them, they had an excellent sight over a good portion of the acres. If a customer would approach their shop, they would definitely see him coming from the distance! The fillies shut the window again and closed it with a lock that was attached to it, then they went back outside and continued with admiring the outer appearance of their shop.
It was where Applejack joined them again. While her little sister's and her best friends' eyes grew in sensation, she gave the construction a sceptical look. Something was bothering her and made her thinking. Carefully, to not push them out of their joy too much, she adressed the issue. “Uh, how have ya planned ta move around the shop? Ah guess ya won't push it from behind all the time.”
This was the keyword for Apple Bloom. “Nothin' easier than that, sis!” She quickly gallopped over to the front of the shop and to Applejack's surprise, opened the seat with the cushions on it, revealing a cavity under it.
Applejack looked into it curiously, seeing a lot of wooden gear wheels in it that were closely connected to each other and obviously part of some sort of mechanism. “What are these for?” she asked her little sister.
“These will move our front wheels!” Apple Bloom explained proudly. “And Sweetie Belle is goin' ta set them into motion usin' her magic!” Now a proud grin appeared on Sweetie's face.
Applejack nodded, astounded by that idea. That way everything made sense. Sweetie was talking a lot about it how she thinks that she will get her cutie mark in magic and that way, with constantly moving the shop around, she could practice constantly. There was just one thing Applejack still did not understand. “But if Sweetie Belle uses her magic ta move ya shop around, then why is she not just movin' the wheels directly?”
Now it was for Sweetie Belle to explain something to the mare. “Because that would be too easy!” she chimed. “Just moving the wheels isn't hard, but the gear wheels are smaller, so I need more concentration to move them. And because that's harder than just moving the front wheels, I get more practice and get better at magic faster!” An excited squeak left her throat as she ended her sentence.
Another thing that made sense. Apparently, the fillies had thought on everything. Or did they? “But what if Sweetie Belle gets too tired or falls sick?” Applejack continued to ask. “Are ya just interruptin' ya journey then and wait until she can move the shop again?”
Now it was Apple Bloom's turn with explaining again. She shook her head, then she pointed to a button on the wall behind the seats. “Look at the gear wheels!” she just said, then she pushed the button and, to Applejack's fascination, the gear wheels started to move and the shop began to roll forward. Apple Bloom pushed the button a second time and it stopped again. “See? That way we can move it any time we want, even if Sweetie can't do it for some reason! And the gear wheels were all Scootaloo's idea! She designed them and implemented them!”
Scootaloo was imitating Sweetie Belle now and proudfully wore a grin on her own.
Now every doubt of Applejack had vanished. The three fillies had indeed thought on everything. She wanted to say something, but remained speechless from what she just saw. Not being a engineering genius herself, Scootaloo's skills impressed her strongly.
The fillies noticed her reaction and exchanged broad grins with each other. Then Apple Bloom asked an obvious question. “So, girls, now that our shop is built, where are we headin' ta first?”
Now that they were ready for their journey, they didn't wanted to waste time anymore. On the next morning, they had decided, they would leave Ponyville together, giving them enough time to meet their families a last time before they wouldn't see them for many months. But before they went to meet them, they had to determine what their first destination would be.
Before Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle could answer Apple Bloom's question and name their suggestions, they were interrupted by Applejack. Apple Bloom's question had brought her back into reality. “Appleloosa,” she said taut.
“Appleloosa?” Apple Bloom asked her surprised. She had actually imagined that they would first travel to a town that she didn't know as well as the western town in the south of Equestria, due to her visiting her cousin Braeburn a few times.
Applejack nodded. “Ah want that ya go there first. It's where ya cousin lives and ah will feel better to hear from him that ya reached ya first destination safely!” The tone in her voice sounded a bit commanding and demanding again, but softer than on the day before.
Due to their talk yesterday, Apple Bloom understood why Applejack was making this suggestion and agreed. “Okay, then Appleloosa it is!” She stretched a hoof into the air.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle agreed easily too. They were never in Appleloosa anyway and except for Canterlot and the Crystal Empire, during a visit there that was way too short and that didn't lead them further than to the train station, they didn't know any of the other towns in Equestria, so pretty much every place would be exciting for them to see.
It was set. The fillies exchanged a hoofbump in their typical fashion, then Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle left. Now it was time for a last meeting with their families. Time to say goodbye to them and to have some last quality time with them before their journey began.
Apple Bloom, who of course stayed on the farm, waved her two friends goodbye, then she went with Applejack into the farmhouse, each of them having wrapped a hoof around the other one.
At town square, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle separated ways. While Sweetie Belle was heading home to her parents and Rarity, Scootaloo was making her way to her own house, being sure that Cheerilee would already be waiting for her inside of it.....
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(Emphasis, mine.)
You really, really need an editor. A grammatical train wreck in the first sentence of the description won't make people eager to read the story.
6709831
I prefer to edit my stories myself.
And I'm not a native speaker and still learning. Thanks for pointing it out. It's fixed.
I disagree about this here, though:
First off, it's not a train wreck. It's just one wrong word in the whole description.
I really like to get constructive feedback, however, I don't like insults like that. Please use a more friendly language in the future if you want to give me feedback.
And second, while I agree that it was a mistake that needed to be fixed, it's the premise of the story that counts in the end and personally speaking, I wouldn't really miss a potential reader who decided to not read my story just because of one wrong word.
I prefer readers who are actually interested in my stories and see the real worth of them, not grammar nazis.
It wasn't meant to be an insult. It was meant to convey how bad the mistake seems to a native English speaker.
Ah. But you like insults when they're outgoing? Okay then.
6709993
I don't deem "grammar nazi" as an insult (and it was not aimed at you, just generally speaking), it's a term for people who take grammar too seriously and ignore everything else.
While "trainwreck" is a term that carries the implication that everything is ruined and miserable, which is just not right because of one wrong word.
Tutored might work? Maybe instructed, or schooled. "Taught" usually needs a direct object, like you got taught fishing, or potion making, not just "you got taught."
8193792
Wow, I didn't expect this! The last comment I received here is almost one and a half years ago now..... I wonder how many will come in once I'm actually starting to write this fic for real this time.....
For your suggestions, it's "got taught in their talents", not just "got taught". Talents serving as substitute for "got taught (in) fishing", "got taught (in) potion making", ect. The object is in the sentence, it's just more than one object, because Twilight taught three fillies in three different things, not just one.
Letting that aside, I was never considering other words than "taught" because it sounds and fits in nicely.
"Tutored" is a word I don't want to use, it is a word used in noble circles like aristocracy or royalty and sounds too sophisticated for what happened. Sure, Twilight had become a princess, but she hasn't actually become royalty (even now she doesn't actually rule over something or somepony) and they weren't her personal students or protegés. She was merely helping them as a friend, so the word "tutored" doesn't really fit here.
"Instructed" does sound more like they were on a secret mission and got instructions by their commander or leader. Or, like they worked somewhere and their boss told them to do something. It sounds very formal, and a bit harsh, and that's not really reflecting what happened here either.
Finally, I'm not happy with "schooled" either. It's a term that is literally used for school education, be it at a public school, private school or home school. Sure, Twilight gave them lessons, one could compare this to homeschooling, but it was not an actual school and even though Twilight did become their teacher (and maybe still is, there are more reasons to learn something than getting cutie marks, after all), the word is reminding a lot on classical school education, so it would feel out of place, too.
While "taught" reflects the simplicity behind their lessons, three fillies getting taught in something by their older friend, so it fits the tone of their Twilight Time lessons very nicely.
That's why I'm not happy with either of these suggestions, but thanks anyway.
When I started writing this fic back in 2014, I was not thinking a lot about what I was writing and wrote by instinct for the most part.
So, I never thought about the description after writing it, but your comment got me thinking about it and now I understand why I have chosen the word "taught" here.
Actually understanding why I want to have it that way makes me feel better about it a lot. so this comment was very helpful anyway.
8194325
That's the funny thing about English, is prepositional phrases actually have almost nothing to do with the sentence structure. They're just flavor, so to speak. If I say the confusing sentence "Cheerilee taught in the schoolhouse math," it still means "Cheerilee taught math" not "Cheerilee taught the schoolhouse math."
You could say "got taught their talents," but I don't think Twilight taught them their talents, since they already had them. That's why I suggested "tutored in their talents" because it's not outright teaching them talents, but teaching them about stuff related to their talents. ...you could also say "got taught stuff in their talents."
And yeah, I just happened across this story randomly yesterday, thought I'd go all grammarphile on it. Mostly I just thought it was interesting. You're free to leave that (technically, maybe) incorrect sentence where it is, and it won't hurt your story at all. English isn't really a language anyway, so there is no correct or incorrect.
I said tutor, not tudor!
8195056
This is why I included the word "in". "They got taught their talents by Twilight" would indeed not make any sense. But if you add the little word "in" to the sentence, it means they got taught in what their talents entail. It's like saying "They got taught in their field of expertise" or "They got taught in their professions" (because you can't teach a profession either, yet the sentence makes sense), ect.
Not royalty, as in, a royal title. But aristocratic/royal people talk differently than the common folk and, while I can't bring up any examples to back it up right now, "tutoring" does sound like a word that wouldn't be too heavily used by the mentioned common folk of ponies, if at all.
It has such a noble and refined ring to it, so it wouldn't really fit to what I'm describing here.
English-bashing?
Now I'm curious what you mean with this.
8199171 English doesn't adapt borrowed foreign words or grammar towards any sort of standard. Goose and geese for instance, because the word is Germanic in orgin, but mongoose and mongooses, because the word is Indian in origin. So when you say the word "mongoose" in English, you're actually speaking in Hindi (for one word), and when you say the word "goose" you're speaking in an ancient precursor to German (for one word). Other languages have a standard that they adapt words to when borrowing them from other languages, like how Spanish has certain suffixes for certain tenses and genders. English just... randomly mangles the pronunciation of the borrowed word, and then spells that pronunciation (badly) in the latin alphabet to write it. And there are no words in English that are not borrowed words.
Plus I was sort of tricked into learning English really, really well so I'm resentful of all those smug English teachers who wasted so many of my brain cells on impeccable spelling and encyclopedias of arbitrary grammar exceptions, because I would have rather spelled poorly and learned something useful instead.
Anyway, you think "tutor" is something only used in noble circles, in the same sense that you think "literacy" is something only used in noble circles. There was a time when only nobles were allowed to read and write, and only they were allowed to have tutors, but nowadays almost everyone can read, and you can find tutors in the newspaper's classified ads. I had tutors now and again, despite being an unwashed peasant, and I've been a tutor before to certain students for no charge at all, so the word doesn't make me think of noblery the way it does to you.
8199603
I guess it's depending on different experiences then. But I was not talking about being allowed, I was merely talking about the usage of certain words over others and how they sound.
8199697 No I just meant you had a different perspective, not that you were allowing people to tutor or not. I just think it's interesting how common the word "tutor" sounds to me, because I ran into a lot of common tutoring in the past, and it's different for you.
This was an enjoyable read due to the improvement of grammar over the previous works, but still short of par.
The story structure itself had major improvements as well. The flow of this tale was a substantial increase in quality.
It's a shame this story is abandoned, it sounds like an interesting concept. However, ending it here, albeit a bit differently, could've made for an interesting short tale about solely convincing their guardians and them seeing them off.
Then again, it isn't marked as cancelled; it's also not marked as on hiatus, so you really must've been working on it this WHOLE TIME!!!
11649507
Ah, the cursed story. Destined for greatness, but fated for oblivion. I have notes about this story. Lots of notes. The entire story (and sequels, several of them) are mapped out since 2015. With some additional ideas I wrote down in 2016. And I revised what is there of the story twice, one time in 2015 with Chapter 1 and one time in 2017 with both chapters, that is why the beginning of this story reads much better than the other stories I published around that time. And after 2017, I just wasn't working on it anymore. I started other stories, I felt discouraged because so much had gone wrong for this story and I guess the spark for it just died there..... I should have mentioned that in my retrospective, but I was not even thinking on that..... The bad fate of this story that is so important to me probably made me block out the memory on the notes I have and the revisions I made.
I just looked through my notes documents and it made me nostalgic, I felt so much passion when planning this story and this passion infused the notes, I could feel it radiating from them while I was reading. I still want to bring this story back. I don't know how yet, but I need to find a way. It's a grand story and I feel that, if enough readers still accept it despite its outdated premise, it could become one of my most popular stories. I need to find a way to make it all happen. The visions I have for it can't go to waste.
.
Never, it would make one feel so much like something is missing. Because something would be missing. I suppose it could technically work as a story that is just about Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle convincing their parents and guardians to let them go on such a journey. But it would leave everyone wanting more, rightfully so. You don't start writing an adventure story and then just end it before the journey starts, that's torture.
11649827
I disagree that it would feel like its missing something. If you were to write the story as a drama with a focus on all the guardians feelings and eventual acceptance of their childrens' plan, I think you would be able to create an incredibly fulfilling and complete story experience. It may very well leave many wanting more, but people always want more of a great writer's work.
As an example, the finale of Gen 4 left the show by introducing a new character about to set out on her own adventures with her new friends, but (unless it's in the Season 10 comics I never read) it doesn't feel like I'm missing anything, since the experience itself to that point was already fulfilling, even if I wish we could see this new mare's adventures.
I believe it could be done incredibly well in the right hands. If you would feel unfilled by that concept, that's ultimately your decision; of course, it wouldn't stop you from creating a sequel adventure story. It'd actually be very cool to see a series in which its sequel story is of an entirely separate category to its antecedent.