Two More Minutes
The Dragon Who Would Not Sleep
Expect the unexpected.
That's what the guard from the last shift had said, and it was perhaps the worst piece of advice the corporal had ever received in his entire life. How exactly was one supposed to expect something that could not be expected? If such a thing could be expected, would it still and truly be unexpected? And it was at this point the young guard would remind himself that he had not chosen the path of a scholar for a reason. Perhaps the eggheads at whichever university could justify the phrase, but not he. Heck, the filly currently residing in the room he was now guarding was far more qualified in taking part in this philosophical discourse than him.
The corporal was no veteran. He was a young stallion, full of energy and desire to serve his country and its most esteemed leader. This was only his second assignment, but it was a most definite step up from protecting the barrack latrines. It was an honor to stand guard over the princess's personal student, to be chosen by the princess herself (through a series of middlemen, mind you), and the young corporal was eager to prove to the rest of the world just how great a guard he was.
A goofy foolish grin spread across his face, as the guard thought of a dozen scenarios where he would play the hero, risking life and limb to protect the young innocent filly. In his mind, he fought off cloaked assassins with curved knives dipped in poison, using only his hooves and the broken shaft of a spear. In his daydreams, the corporal dived in front of the filly, saving her from a barrage of arrows with his armored body. His delusions brought forth a legion of demonic creatures, and he'd scream to the filly and the other guards to run, and he would do his best to hold the monsters off.
He would be awarded soon afterwards. He would kneel before the grateful princess, who would bestow upon him medals of valor, of honor, of bravery, for performing beyond the call of duty and for the great sacrifices he had made.
The door flung open, and out ran on all fours a small screaming purple creature with jagged green fins sticking out of its back. A trail of soapy water and bubbles trailed behind the creature, as it disappeared behind the corner.
The corporal had time to let his mouth fall open before a young purple unicorn popped out of the room and tore past him, following the trail the screaming creature had left.
"Get back here, Spike!" the filly had shouted and soon the corporal lost sight of her as well.
The young soldier turned to his fellow, several years his senior. During the entire event the older guard raised not a brow, a display of the stallion's impressive experience. "Was that...Twilight Sparkle?" the corporal asked hesitantly.
The older guard answered with a curt nod.
"Twilight Sparkle, as in the princess's own personal student?"
The veteran gave another short nod.
"And the thing she was chasing after was what exactly?"
"A baby dragon."
The corporal blinked. "A-a baby dragon? D-did you say a d-dragon? That was a d-dragon?"
It took every cell of discipline in the older guard's body not to break into a smirk at the sight of the stuttering youngster.
"Expect the unexpected, kid."
*
"Get back here, Spike! You haven't finish your bath yet!"
The filly received only bright giggles for an answer, as the little wet dragon continued to run. She groaned in a mix of frustration and anger as she chased after the baby dragon, slowing down every so often to avoid slipping in a puddle of bath water. She sure hoped it was bath water.
The giggles and shrieks grew louder, signaling that the distance between her and the dragon was shrinking. Progress spurred the filly, and she redoubled her efforts, ignoring the burning sensation in her legs.
"Now I've got you!" she screamed, pivoting as she turned on the last corner. "Ha ha, I've got- Princess Celestia!"
The filly tried to brake, but all attempts to slow down failed as she slid into a pool of suds and dirty water, stopping only when she had collided with the majestic body of her majesty.
"Princess, I'm so, so sorry!" the filly cried, struggling to her feet, her hooves fighting for what steady ground there was amidst the soapy and slippery floor. "I didn't mean-"
"It's quite alright, Twilight," the princess said softly, warmly. "No harm done, whatsoever."
When the young filly finally found the courage to look up at her new teacher's face, all trace of panic was washed away in the presence of that radiant and reassuring smile the princess wore. The filly began to smile as well, in spite of herself.
A scaly purple head popped out of the princess's mane. The baby dragon cheered and waved its stubby little arms excitedly before setting them around Princess Celestia's neck and pulling himself closer to her.
"Looking for someone, perhaps?" the alicorn giggled.
"S-sorry. I was trying to give Spike a bath and, well, he got away." The filly threw her best disapproving scowl at the little dragon. He answered with unrepentant babbles and giggles. All young Twilight could do was watch in horror as the little dragon she had brought into this world climbed onto her mentor's head and gummed furiously on the princess's golden crown.
"Spike, stop that at once!"
The baby dragon moaned in protest, as light wrapped around him and pulled him away from the crown. Carefully, Celestia raised him to eye level. The dragon's wild struggles ceased and he stared back into the princess's magenta eyes. Slowly, the dragon raised a tiny claw and placed it on her majesty's nose. The giggling soon commenced again.
The princess smiled and nuzzled the little whelp under his chin, then gestured her student forward. When the unicorn was close, Celestia set the dragon on her back.
"I'm glad to see the both of you getting along."
"That's-" The filly winced as the dragon tangled his claws in her mane. "That's one way to look at it."
"Oh? Am I wrong?"
"N-no, of course not," Twilight quickly corrected herself. "We're having the times of our lives, aren't we Spike?"
The baby gurgled in response and clapped his claws together.
"That's good." With a single wing, the princess blanketed both her student and the dragon. "Try to finish bathing your little dragon quickly. We will begin your private lessons with me tomorrow morning so I want the two of you to have a full night's rest."
"What about the mess?" The filly pointed to the numerous puddles that covered the castle floors. Celestia in turn pointed to an approaching young guard who had traded his spear for a mop. A corporal, she believed.
"Don't worry about the mess. Just make sure you keep the door locked next time."
Giving both her blushing student and the squirming dragon a gentle pat on the head, the princess left. Twilight watched the princess leave up until she disappeared behind the corner. A sharp tug of her mane from behind stole her attention, and the filly scowled at the dragon pulling on her hair.
"Alright mister, let's finish that bath-hey! Get back here! Stop that dragon!"
The corporal wisely stepped out of the way.
*
The baby dragon shivered as the filly dried him with a towel. He shivered, as she fought to retrieve the warm fuzzy cloth from him. He shivered all the way to his crib.
"Here you go," the filly whispered, setting the dragon into his little basket. "Bedtime."
The long day was finally over. Twilight released an exhausted sigh which was interrupted by a wide yawn. "Bedtime," she said again, turning.
Something held her in place. Two tiny, insignificant claws grasped her leg, the two combined barely large enough to encompass her hoof. Two emerald eyes stared back at her, pleadingly. With great reluctance, the filly tore away from the baby dragon.
The baby dragon broke into tears immediately. His shrieks filled their shared private quarters. His claws grabbed the air furiously. One caught hold of the hoof the filly had extended.
"It's alright, I'm here. Shh, I'm here Spike, I'm here."
The brawling subsided, replaced by short hiccups. The dragon scooted closer to the edge of the crib, closer to the filly on the other side.
"It's alright, I'm here."
The dragon smiled. Twilight tried to smile back but another yawn defeated her attempts. "Get some sleep," she whispered and removed herself from the little dragon.
He broke into tears immediately and began to shiver violently.
The dam was broken; the filly's temper flared. "What do you want?" she cried angrily. "Why won't you just go to sleep, you stupid-"
The baby grew louder.
Twilight took a deep breath to calm herself. She was a student, she reminded herself, a thinker and a planner. If she was to be under the tutorage of the wisest being in Equestria, she had better act like it. Shouting and screaming at the dragon would solve nothing.
"Spike?"
The dragon looked up as a hoof gently prodded his cheek. His cries lessened.
"Listen, Spike, you want me to stay with you but I really need to get some sleep. There's only one solution."
Slowly, the dragon was lifted out of the crib and set onto the filly's back. He grabbed hold of her as tightly as he could, fearful of being separated once more.
They were moving away from the crib now, he and the filly, and approached instead the large bed in the room. The filly's bed, not his, the dragon understood that much.
The dragon continued to cling to the unicorn, even as young Twilight lowered herself under the covers and turned the bed stand lamp off, flooding the room with darkness. The dragon clung closer.
"There," the filly muttered, fighting back yet another yawn. "You get to stay with me and now I finally get some sleep. Everypony wins and everypony's happy, right?"
She received a snore in response. Slowly, she disentangled herself from the infant and turned herself over, so that she could now face the snoozing baby dragon. Her baby dragon.
She set her forelegs around him and snuggled closer. His skin was cool against her fur but beneath those layers of scales the filly felt a warmth, like a little fire inside.
The dragon had stopped shivering.
* *
*
Like towering buildings in a thriving metropolis sat a series of stacks of books. Hidden behind these stacks sat the once little filly, now having grown into the beginnings of a young mare. Her eyes were glued to the pages of a tome with a parchment filled with notes beside her on one side and a young baby dragon on the other. A waning candle served as her light.
"You know, you don't have to stay up with me. "
"That's okay, I'm not tired anyways."
"Then what was with all that yawning a second earlier?"
The dragon would have scowled if he hadn't just yawned.
"Why are you still up?" he asked, deftly deflecting the question of his current condition. "Don't you have a lesson with Princess Celestia tomorrow? Shouldn't you be getting some sleep right now?"
"Oh, just some last minute review." Twilight laughed nervously. "After all, you'd never know what could be on the test, right?"
"I thought Princess Celestia said it was gonna be simple."
"Yes, simple, but did she mean simple as in not difficult, every day stuff, or simple as in simple for somepony like her to do but for anypony else it'd be impossible."
The dragon frowned and crossed his arms. "I dunno. It sounded like she just meant simple."
"Yes, but was that simple simple or simple simple?"
"What's the difference?"
"There's a world of difference between the two. Try to keep up, Spike."
Spike simply groaned and shook his head. He leaned against Twilight and watched the candle, as its little flame burned on stubbornly. It flickered and danced about, and as he watched, his eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Maybe he would close his eyes just for a second, no longer than a second. Yes, just rest his eyes for a little while, and he would be fine. Not to sleep, just to rest his eyes, just a little bit.
"Spike?"
The dragon jolted forward, knocking down one of the nearby pillars of literature. "Sorry," he muttered, rubbing his face.
The young mare stared at the wobbling little dragon before declaring, "Bedtime."
"I'm not tired."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not."
"I'm pretty sure you definitely are."
"No, really, I'm not-"
The last of the little dragon's protest was swept away by another inopportune yawn. He did his best to glare ineffectively at the smugly grinning unicorn.
"Well, what about you?" he demanded. "Aren't you tired?"
"Maybe a little," she admitted. "But I really want to finish these last few sections first. Besides, you're still a baby. You need sleep more than me."
"I'm not that much younger than you," he grumbled. "If you're gonna stay up so am I. Yeah, that's right, I'm not going to bed until you do," the dragon declared proudly, placing his claws on his hips in triumph.
"Fine."
The dragon had expected to hear the quick exasperated response. He had hoped for it. He had not expected to hear the loud thud of a shutting book or to see the young unicorn pushing aside the piles of papers as she got up.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Bed. Guess I'll just have to finish reading in the morning," she sighed. "Come on, Spike," she said, pushing him toward his basket.
"Wait, I'm not tired!"
"Too bad. You said you wouldn't go to bed until I did so now I am."
"Don't you want to keep studying? I mean, heh, who knows what'll be on that test, right?"
"Well, if I don't get enough rest and end up falling asleep in the middle of the exam, I'll definitely fail. Come on, Spike, bedtime."
After carefully removing a few texts hiding beneath the comforter, Twilight settled herself down, plopping her head against the soft pillow. "Good night Spike," she said.
She waited for the usual response. There was silence instead.
Her eyes fluttered open and she slowly flipped herself over. The basket at the foot of her bed was vacant. The dragon who should have occupied it stood just in front of her, his claws folded on top of each other, his little feet kicking at the ground nervously, a habit he had learned from her.
"Spike, is something wrong?"
"I don't want to go to sleep."
"Why not? Aren't you tired."
"Maybe a little."
"Then what's wrong?" Twilight asked.
"I'm..." The dragon rocked back and forth on his heels. "I'm..." He leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm scared."
"Scared? Scared of what?"
"You know that story you read to me earlier today? The one about the sleeping princess who wouldn't wake up for, like, a thousand years?"
"Yes?"
"Well, I'm scared that when I go to sleep, I won't be able to wake up. What if...what if I close my eyes and then I can't open them again? Twilight, I don't want to sleep forever! Please, I-"
Twilight cut the little crying dragon off with an embrace. Her forelegs wrapped around his small little shoulders and over his little back.
"It's alright," she whispered. "It's just a fairytale, nothing more. There's nothing to be afraid of, okay?"
"I'm scared, Twilight."
"It's alright Spike, I promise you, you won't sleep forever. Just until morning, when the sun comes up."
"C-can I...can I sleep with you tonight? Please? Like we used to when we were younger?"
Twilight pulled back the covers, patted the space next to her, and nodded. "Like we used to."
He hesitated only for second, before leaping into the bed. "Thanks, Twilight," he said, giving the mare a hug around her middle. She returned it before throwing the blanket over them, making sure both had adequate protection from the cold.
"No problem," she said. "Say, do you remember the end of that story? Do you remember how the princess finally woke up?"
"She got a kiss from a prince."
Twilight leaned forward and brushed her lips against the dragon's forehead. "Don't worry. I'll always be there to wake you up."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"That's good. Good night, Twilight. I love you."
Ah, now there was the usual response.
* * *
* *
*
"What's so funny?"
The dragon shook his massive head. "Nothing," he said, his grin betraying him. "Just reminiscing."
"Ah, the good old days." The purple alicorn laying next to him began to smile as well. "Let me guess, something about Pinkie Pie?"
"Ha, not even close."
"Then perhaps Rarity?" she ventured, poking at the dragon's soft underbelly and giving him a teasing smile.
"Good guess, but you're still nowhere near."
"Does it have to do with ice cream or gems?"
"Nope."
"Well, I'm stumped," the princess conceded. "Tell me, which memory was it?"
The dragon's grin merely grew wider.
"Tell me tell me tell me tell me!"
"Hey, Twilight! Stop poking me, that tickles!"
"Not until you tell me," she sang.
"Alright, alright, just cut it out!"
Princess Twilight gave her dragon one last prod, then waited. "Well?" she prompted.
The dragon shut his dull green eyes, each one larger than a plump watermelon. "Do you remember the last time we were like this?" he asked. "Just the two of us, a book, and a blanket?"
"Oh gosh, it must have been years ago."
"Centuries actually, but sometimes I suppose we forget the difference." He tended to the small campfire with a claw. "I've missed you."
"I'm sorry, Spike. Truly, I am."
"I'm not blaming you, Twi, I could never blame you. Equestria needs you, I understand that. I'd be a monster to try and hoard you away from the rest of the world."
"That doesn't mean I couldn't come a visit more often. I haven't been a very good friend lately, have I?"
"You're here now, that's what matters. Can you keep reading Twilight? I'd like to finish this story before I sleep."
"Of course." The Alicorn stifled a giggle. The dragon heard it anyways.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing," she said, her grin betraying her. "Just remembering our first night together, before the coronation and the Elements and Ponyville. Do you remember how you'd snuggle next to me so tightly I thought I'd suffocate?"
"Yes, but tell me anyways."
"You weren't even half my size but you had one powerful grip, even as a baby. It's a little funny how the roles are kind of reversed now, with me being the little one and you the big one."
"You're still the one who's reading. That hasn't changed."
"I said kind of reversed, not completely," the princess huffed. "Now, where were we?"
"Start from the beginning."
"Are you sure? We might not be able to finish it by tonight."
"That's fine."
The princess turned back to the start of the book and began to read. The dragon paid no mind to the narrative the author had created. He did not hear the rich descriptions of characters and settings. The plot did not hold his interest. All that mattered was hearing her voice.
A mighty yawn escaped him and he shivered, despite his proximity to the flames. He hoped the princess would not notice. She did.
She had stopped in the middle of a sentence, the last word hanging awkwardly in the air. "Bedtime," she said, breaking the silence.
"I'm not tired," the dragon protested.
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you are, mister."
"Honestly, I'm-"
She had placed a hoof gently on his chest, putting a stopper to the last of the dragon's childish assertions. "Spike, what's wrong?"
The dragon sighed. "I'm afraid."
"Afraid, you? Mister big strong dragon afraid?"
"Yes."
"Afraid of what?"
"I'm afraid because of what I know. I know that if I close my eyes tonight they will never open again. And I'm scared."
"Oh, Spike." The princess tried to extend her wings over and around the dragon's neck, to provide some physical comfort and support. His size proved too great, and she too small.
"Spike, you don't have to be afraid. You're going to a new, beautiful place. You'll be able to be with Rarity again, and Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash and all those tens of thousands of friends you've made over all these centuries. Don't you want to see them all again?"
"You won't be there."
Four words cut through the princess's forced cheeriness like a blade through warm butter.
"No, no I won't. I'm sorry."
"I don't want to leave you, Twilight."
"And I don't want you to leave," she whispered back. "But if you don't sleep you'll just end up hurting yourself. Please, Spike, it's bedtime."
"I can't leave you here all alone."
"You have to. I'm sorry. Don't worry, I still have the princesses and all my subjects. They'll never replace my little baby dragon but you won't have to worry about me being alone." The Alicorn nuzzled her old friend under his chin and tightened her embrace around him. His skin was cool against her fur and she could feel the warmth beneath all those layers of scales slowly die.
"Twilight."
"I'm here, Spike. Don't worry, I'll be with you until the very end."
"Twilight."
The dragon raised a claw weakly and carefully dashed away the tears that threatened to fall from the princess's eyes. She grabbed hold of the claw and placed her cheek against it.
"Twi...light."
Slowly, those emerald eyes closed shut, hidden behind amethyst lids.
In the morning, Princess Twilight would lean forward and press her lips against his. And the dragon would not stir.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TheMessenger · 3.5k words · 161 3 · 3.5k views
- Ichiro Sato · 1k words · 158 7 · 7.2k views
- Obsequiosity · 3.6k words · 172 4 · 6.2k views
- RenaissanceBrony · 2.1k words · 130 2 · 5.8k views
- TheMessenger · 1.7k words · 64 7 · 1.8k views
- ArgonMatrix · 17k words · 362 6 · 5.8k views
- Pon de Don · 3.1k words · 38 6 · 2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.21 seconds
Total duration
619 users online
674,540 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why do I keep reading sad stories if I hate myself afterwards.....
Good story.
Loved the story. It was really heartwarming and simple, the best kind in my opinion. Thanks for posting!
Um... It was a great story, but dragons live for thousands of years in most literature & sleep for a century but wake up afterwards. I've even read stuff where they have no upper lifespan limit. They needed to be slain to be killed. Plus, I always imagined Spike outlasting the alicorns or at least the artificial ones AKA Cadence & Twilight.
But it was still a wonderful story, keep up the good work. roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/spikeletter.png
4006868
cdn.arwrath.com/1/155878.gif
In all seriousness, I have seen such examples as well, but, to be fair, this is not most literature. Still, I'm glad someone is willing to make comparisons. That's always fun.
This was a beautiful story.
WAHHHHH! You cruel bastard! You tricked me into thinking this was going to be a cute little story (it was for the most of it actually) but that ending! Why would you do that to me?
The first story that actually made me feel empty inside. That deserves at least some recognition.
Thumbs up and faved.
Reading something like this really makes me wish there was more I could do to express how good I really think this one-shot is.
Dear author;
You are a horrible, horrible person. Have an upvote.
Signed:
~Starcat5
4006868
If I thought having Spike living past Twilight would have made a better story, I would have written it that way. Two of my other stories do in fact feature an older Spike who has outlived Twilight, but that's because it made sense, it made the story. Those stories were about Spike enduring, about going through life and finding new meaning in it when the world seems empty. Those stories were about Spike moving on, but never forgetting who and what he lost.
This is not that kind of story.
This is not A Hoard of Memories or Patience, She Said. No, this story is about how some bonds never change. Time passes by and while statues and castles and mountains erode away, some bonds do not. In this story, Twilight will always be the older, wiser comforter and Spike always will be her young frightened charge. Even after a thousand years later and Spike's no longer that little baby we see in the show, Twilight's still the one to tuck him into bed and stay with him until he falls asleep. Note the parallels in the beginning, the middle, and finally the end, how each begins with Spike's reluctance to go to bed and ends with him finally conceding only because of Twilight's presence.
If I changed it, if I decided to follow your design, your headcanon, this story would have taken a different route with a different message. Perhaps it would be a story about how one grows up and takes the role of another, when the caregiver becomes the care receiver. Perhaps it would be a great story.
But it would not be this story, nor would it convey the message I wanted it to have.
Great story. Sad at the end but "Telle est la vie".
media.tumblr.com/20ccbca787cb4bcaed4e58821ecc55f8/tumblr_inline_mlv6uwXXBY1qf7gpu.gif
In the past two stories you've featured Spike DYING. Cut it out!
(You get my like.)
4012405
Aw, but I'm so good at it.
Okay, this had a lot less emotional impact than I was expecting. I'm a little disappointed, put bluntly. I had originally been expecting it to be about one of Spike's century long naps. To find out it was about his death? Well, let's see...
I feel that this really ruined the story for me. It's far too blunt and completely gives away what's going on. There's no room for ambiguity at all. There's no question of what's wrong with Spike. And it's because it's all so clear that there is just no punch to the blow.
I feel like a lot more emphasis could have been placed on this. It's a powerful line, but not nearly enough emphasis was given to it to make it really effective.
I think you can do a lot better than this, Messenger. (Also, you should get a proofreader to check over a few bits and pieces of grammar. You kept capitalizing unicorn as if it were a proper noun, and it was most distracting.) I hope this is helpful in improving your writing and I look forward to whatever you publish next.
(Probably better than what I was planning; I'm currently staring at 500 words of complete and utter nonsense as I tried to sound witty and clever and only succeeded at coming across as highly obnoxious...)
4013202
You raise some valid points and I appreciate the critique. The capitalization of Unicorn's a force of habit and partially because autocorrect often capitalizes Pegasus.
Oh another thing: you titled the chapter "Two More Minutes", so I was honestly expecting that line to be repeated each time Spike went to bed. I read your blog on this idea, and that's what I thought you were going to do. Perhaps it was simply down to this false expectation, but I found myself pretty disappointed that you didn't do that, and I feel it would have been more effective if you had done it.
But that's just me. Perhaps it's overdone? *shrug*
4013228
aye, pegasus, unicorn and earth ponies shouldn't be capitalized (unless, of course, you consider Equestria to be on the planet Earth, in which case you might just be able to get away with capitalizing Earth ponies...)
There were a few other issues such as grammar slipups and basic basic stuff that no reader actually cares about but because I'm an editor I had flashy lights bling bling all over my brain gah the pain.
You know, the usual.
4013228 Thanks...now I'll need to wait a month before reading this to let myself forget this. I always read comments first and get spoilers! Why?!?!
4013246
Well, I've always considered each species to be more equivalent to race or tribe, which is a reason why I've always capitalized them.
4013230
It was a line I wanted to include but I had difficulty deciding where I could place it without breaking flow. An entire other story could have been based on that line.
This was pretty darn good, but I found that it moved too fast. A little description to break up the dialogue would have been nice. I found myself rushing through lines that were supposed to be said slowly towards the end; it really hampered the emotional impact.
Wrong ending. You should've continued, with Twilight later watching a few baby dragons playing with each other. Mixed colors, some of which being either purple or green.
What, you'd think that he'd get a mate in the few millennia a Dragon lives.
4018639 You're looking for some sort of endless cycle, whereas the author wanted to demonstrate unbroken bonds. Your ending would serve you more than it would serve the intended story.
Also, going up to an author and literally saying, "Wrong ending, <here's what you should have done>," is really, really tactless. You earned your downvotes on THAT comment.
4039066 huh. 4 downvotes. Actually didn't see that coming. Maybe I should've put a little more effort into making sure I don't seen like an asshole...
But I still stand by what I said. Not because it serves me in any way (I mean, really, could you elaborate with what that was supposed to mean?), or because hey, we need to throw some baby dragons in there to point out that Spike didn't die a virgin or whatever...
Thing is, Twilight was left alone. She'd be left to bury everyone she ever held dear. I'm not saying she should see those kids and think "hey, why am I still alive when everyone else dies around me?". I'm saying she should have some sort of coping mechanism, seeing new life take over and fill the void. That her old friend isn't completely gone.
It doesn't defeat the "unbroken bonds" gig. It just adds a little contrast and glimmer of hope in a cold background.
4039144 I said that it "serves you" because your ending "adds a little contrast and glimmer of hope" to the story, and that apparently isn't what the author had in mind.
Twilight isn't left alone. She has the other princesses, she has her subjects, she has her own current and future friends and her memories.
The story isn't about Twilight specifically, it's about how Spike saw and felt about Twilight, even after X,XXX years. Twilight has already lost hundreds of friends by this point; Spike might be a very hard loss, but making this story suddenly be about how she copes with loss, or finding new hope about the future, wouldn't be THIS story.
Also, I don't think you're an a-hole! I just think your phrasing was tactless and your intent--to change this story to fit your own ideals--is kind of presumptuous.
I broke...why do I do this to myself!
I think my heart broke. Tears not spillen, but myheart definitly broke.
4039144
When I was younger, I would have probably loved that ending. I used to hate stories that gave you some ambiguous ending, with no clear resolution and that left you with an empty feeling.
Maybe I've just grown horribly cynical over the last ten years or maybe after taking a few university level courses on literature, I've come to appreciate that feeling a story without resolution leaves you with. If there is one thing I do like about modernistic writing, it's the tendency to force you to think afterwards, to question and ask and decide for yourself what happened in the end.
Whoopsie
Ok..
your a good writer...
but you need to...
to stop making stories like... like...
like THIS
!
P.S. You forgot the "for" in this sentence:
I'm serious though, stop it
!
Poor Spike. His predicament hit close to home (the fear of falling asleep bit, not the never waking up bits).
(Boring personal anecdote ahead!)
The meds I currently have to take sometimes do my head in and give me such exquisite nightmares; the kind where you bolt awake hyperventilating in a jagged red panic. There are times I want nothing more than to hug Significant Other tightly and force myself to stay awake as long as possible. *shiver*
Being afraid to fall asleep sucks...
4006868
Warning! I had a case of philosophical diarrhea.
Something in your comment got my mind a gurgling!
I got my deepest pony thoughts all over the place!
Dragons might indeed live that long in some fictions. Not all fictions are the same. They may very well have been millennia old, and had simply been speaking about how centuries felt like snippets of time to them now. Blink, and another century has passed them by. Maybe Spike happened to have had a short life. If dragons eat gems, and a hoard makes dragons greedy, maybe Spike, by choosing to live civilly, chose not to succumb to greed, and kept his hoard small, but in doing so also accepted a shorter life span. Fair? No. Possible... I wouldn't count it out of the realm of possibility.
As for alicorns... Who knows. Maybe they live for thousands of years, or even tens or hundreds of thousands... Who knows, but I believe even they eventually pass on. Maybe they will live till the world itself dies and can not sustain them... I have read horrifyingly sad stories about that, and even worse... I do believe that alicorns, unlike what some ads world have you think of diamonds, are not forever. Just VERY long lived.
Back on the subject of alicorns, Cadance and Twilight are no more artificial than Celestia and Luna. Pony society seems to function strongly as a form of meritocracy, where special talents are raised up as a life goal and supported by both society and culture. Twilight and Cadance both transcended the expected limitations of their special talents by their own deeds, and became something greater... Cadance with her love spell that brings love and tolerance between ponies, and Twilight not just mastering her talent for magic, but inventing an all new branch of Harmony magic. Though the show has not indicated as such, I believe Celestia and Luna ascended as well, a LONG time ago. I believe that they found magic to link them with the sun and moon, whereas legions of unicorns together merely moved them (or alternately, the planet in relation to the star, and the moon in relation to the planet), Celestia and Luna found a means to find a deeper magical connection between the celestial bodies. They gained their cutiemarks, either upon such a discovery, or as members of the old unicorn teams. At some point, I suspect they ascended as a result of their celestial connection. While I can certainly enjoy stories that have them born as alicorns, I really have a love for alicorn ascension.
All that having been said, you "artificial" comment felt kind of insulting toward Twilight and Cadance. I do not elevate Tia or Luna to be anything higher than ascended ponies. They have power with their celestial connections, but they are ponies. No more, and no less.
No more, in that they are ponies. They are not above ponies in any way save for extra appendages, more ability, and more power. They are certainly not gods. They can falter and make mistakes. They are still the same flesh and blood of a pony, and are not invincible.
Likewise, they are no less than ponies. They still feel. They experience all that in life that is a pony. They have the same thoughts and drives of a pony. They need to love and be loved. They need to have companions. They are not so high above ponies as to be unapproachable. If the show has made it any more clear, Celestia does NOT like when ponies do that. It makes her visibly uncomfortable. Luna descended into her own darkest hour because she felt unloved and unappreciated by the "day loving" ponies.
I don't know. I guess I'm half ranting, and half philosophizing. I really loved the story. Sweet, then heartwarming, then sad, but still very, very sweet... Twi has a lot of life ahead of her before she can see her loved ones once again. Becoming an alicorn is something the universe of MLP deems attainable for those who prove able to bear it. Magic likely has something "more" to it than simply being a passive force. One does not accidentally make an "orange-frog" if "magic" is not capable enough to "know" how to do so. A new amalgamated life form is complex! That's really what sets magic apart from physical sciences. Physics is a crapshoot of probabilities and particles and waves and interactions. It does not care for you. It just functions as the fundamental principals by which you exist. Magic seems to be directed. Harmony seems to be a good explanation of it's intentions. Friendship, kindness, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and laughter. Magic seems to have a will. When your will goes against the will of Harmony... You get magic turning against you. Magical spirits like the Windigos to freeze the hateful and bigoted, for example. When you align with Harmony... You can do anything... Even redeem a fallen princess, or show a being of pure chaos the magic of friendship.
Likewise... I think the will of Harmony, or magic, or whatever you want to call it in the MLP universe, can find those who have the "right stuff" to be more than themselves, and empowers them to transcend their mortal forms, allows them to ascend. Like the orange-frog... Magic seems able to direct very complex, and very directed changes. Since Harmony seems to be the basis of Equestria's most powerful magic, if is only fitting that Harmony magic would "will" a pony's ascended form to be a harmonious representation of all the pony kinds in one.
The will of magic also seems able to pick out ponies befitting of the position, and very importantly, those able to bear the burden. Alicornhood is simultaneously a burden and a gift. Alicorns gain a long and fruitful life, vast wisdom, many friends, and the chance to share their joys with far more ponies than any common mortal ever would... Likewise, the burden is a long life of pains and losses, the loneliness that comes from saying goodbye to friends time and time again as each one passes, hard memories, guilt over past mistakes that are amplified by your leadership position onto those you rule, and living the sorrow of loosing so many friends as they pass.
Yeah... This story, and your comment in particular, really made me think about alicorn lifespans in general. Anyway, yeah, I think the odd case of excessive moisture around my eyes has had a chance to clear up as I typed this... Weird how that was a thing for me at the end of the story...
4039187 I was in the midst of writing my reply last night when the internet entertained errors. Bloody service providers keep having issues with us having a router. What I wanted to say is that yeah, I figured out what you're saying. This is a story about the relationship between Spike and Twilight, beginning to end. It has nothing to do with the aftermath, even if it raises a few questions. And showing Twilight, alone in the end, reminiscing, would probably defeat that purpose a little bit.
So yeah, you're right. I see the light, my ignorance has been cast away by your brilliance! yada yada, good job you smug prick :)
I might find it hard to accept when I made a mistake. Don't take it personal, I'm certain you're not, in fact, a prick.
4039462 A specialized faculty would've certainly turned out to be a useful asset then. Oh well, my loss.
I'm pretty cynical myself, and I still don't like the ending. So I'll assume that your experience and maturity are more likely to have helped you accept and appreciate it instead. I only found the uncertainty bothersome, like a patch you're waiting to remove already. I appreciate what you're saying, and I'm trying to see it your way, but it's not really helping much on my end.
Though maybe that's the point? It's like you said, I'm being forced to think right now >_>
You made an icy heart cry. Hope you feel good about yourself. Very well written.
I came to read a story about a young dragon afraid to sleep because he knew that when he woke that the world would be unrecognizable and most of everyone he knew would be dead.
With that in mind, the fear of sleeping and not waking is kinda meh.
Well. That was a shock.
Not the story, I mean. The story is good!
No, this was a shock to see artwork I made 15 years ago show up on EQD and this story header. :-P
(I drew the image, uploaded it to Elfwood in like....1999. Given the internet, I'm very surprised it's still there! Flattered, too, but mostly just... wow, hadn't seen that image in a while. )
4046040
Wow. It's a wonderful picture.
Aww. That was really sweet and touching.
:(
y u do dis to me
I expected the end was going to be Spike didn't want to go into his "dragon hibernation" and sleep for a few hundred years because he knew when he woke up, Twilight and the others wouldn't be around anymore.
Turns out I was wrong.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
4051376
Congrats on the promotion.
4051634
Thank'ee. And congratulations on the TL acceptance.
The most adorable concept I've ever seen tackled in the realm of fanfiction is filly Twi with baby Spike. I thought there would be no more, so the first portion of this story was one hell of a treat!
The rest was just as good, though it swerved into a territory that - although necessary - is one that I like to avoid. I have little love for stories that get me choked up, and Twilight watching Spike die (or vice versa) is the only thing that enables me to voluntarily generate tears.
I always hated the idea that Twilight was immortal...
4530338
It works for the sake of the narrative.
4531527 I know, but I never liked it
Ah, we meet again Thanatophobia...
Honestly, this doesn't help my fear of the inevitable. But good nonetheless.
Hey, I wrote a review for this fic. In case you are interested, it can be found here.
Overall, this is certainly not my cup of tea. It felt too melodramatic, and while I appreciate what it is trying to do, I feel it could have used some more subtlety.