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Amber Rose has freshly moved to Canterlot and is eager to start her journalism degree. Little does she know that she is expected by an old acquaintance who has spent years on a time travel spell to eradicate a formative experience from Amber’s past. Amber succumbs and finds herself battling the ghosts of her own adolescence—but life lets her choose again.
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This reads kind of like The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. Have a fave and an upvote. I'd like to see where this goes. (Also thanks for not depicting Fleur as a prostitute or arm candy).
Gee, I wonder.
What the hell is all this about? Throughout the last two chapters, besides the conversation with the brother and Mag Pie, conversation has been totally disjointed, and both sides of a conversation seem to be ignoring each other entirely. Where did she get bat ponies from? Who is the Tenderhoof that Rose is talking about?
Why is Amber Rose's most formative experience the time she pulled a library wall on top of her head? Where does a charity album even come into this, and how would donating help me understand anything?
Why does Fleur always talk pastwell, okay, you're aware of that, but what is up with Fleur, besides being a generally off pony? "Eclectically"? "Like dogs pissing on, uh, maps"?4046684
Thanks! <3 It was important to me to liberate her from that stereotype.
4046798
That’s a mix of things. Have a look at the name “Tenderhoof” and the context he’s mentioned in. The pun is obscure but the context makes it clear who I’m referencing. In particular you can check different explanatory models of time travel and the one M.A. Larson employed in “It’s About Time.”
The charity angle will become clear at the end of the first act in chapter 4. I’ll publish it together with chapter 3. That is something that Amber has to discover for herself too. (You’re asking that because of the author’s notes?)
Why Amber’s accident was particularly formative for her is already alluded to in the second chapter. The third one will dive into it further.
Fleur is a deep and conflicted character in my story. “Sweet and Elite” allowed us only a superficial glimpse of who she really is. However, she’s not the focus of this story. I’m thinking about picking her theme up again in another one.
Update: I took care of the bit about the bat ponies. I hope it flows more smoothly now. Thanks! (It’s an inconsequential change, no rereading required.)
4046839
I was asking because of the author notes.
OH! "The accident." Reading comprehension -1 for me.
Is the physicist you're referring to Gerard 't Hooft, and the career-counseling related charlatan Clen Visser 't Hooft? Or possibly Frank van der Hooft, the charlatan being some unnamed van der Hooft? Only result worth mentioning. This seems a pretty obscure reference, even in non-pony terms.
4047571
Haha, wow! I have to look into these people. Let’s see how I can spoiler things in these comments: The text mentions the “Tenderhoof self-consistency principle,” which is a reference to the Novikov self-consistency principle, which “It’s About Time” follows. The name goes back to novik, a term for a certain type of young officer in the Russian military during the 16th–18th century. Ponifying it was rather complicated, since I couldn’t find any military ranks that lent themselves to the process, but the term tenderfoot expresses the concept of a novice within a rank system. Turning that into Tenderhoof was easy. (Please highlight.)
Now I don’t expect anyone to get that, but there is pretty much just one “self-consistency principle.”
Most of the names that I invented are references to more or less well-known people or characters and thereby shed light on backgrounds or futures of those characters beyond what is strictly required to follow the plot. Yellow (or amber) roses, for example, are said to represent joy or, let’s say, merriment. These roses indicate a certain character from Gene Wolfe’s The Book of the New Sun (recommended). In fact, her whole family is an allusion to one from the book. (There is a small hint at Amber’s mother’s name in chapter 2.)
By the way, Juniper Berry with her magic and flying skills is a reference to a book much more well-known than The Book of the New Sun.
4047646
But who was charlatan.
4047749
I found a lot of alleged scammers with the name simply because it’s a very common one, but it seemed impolitic to pick out a specific one of them for Amber’s diatribe. (There are so many people with that name, I’m sure one of them was phone too.)
Chapter 1:
I know most people are commenting from chapter 2, but I thought I'd give a few quick thoughts on chapter 1 before I continued on. Not very much happened, but I think it gives us plenty of insight into our protagonist. She's impatient and persistent, but mature enough to resent being treated like a foal. She at least tried to make sure there was some safety in her idea, even if it was still not thought-out very well.
Overall, I liked the chapter, even if it's just a little set up for the story to come. I'll be interested to see how the time travel elements you talked about in the summary will play out. Yes, I'm aware that'll probably be in the very next chapter I can read soon after this, but...
I'm also curious how the title will play into things. Is it completely metaphorical, or is there something more to it?
...But that's just my two bits.
4092093
Then my characterization has worked.
I think all your questions will be answered soon, though not all at once in chapter 2. I’ll release the next two chapters throughout next Thursday.
WooW! That was Quick!
"Your special talent is having a brother with a sprained leg??"
And then Scootaloo was a chickun
Fun story!
That comparison of a cutie mark to a first dan seems wonderfully apt.
... So, I get that Amber went back in time and intended to use the opportunity to save people, but how does she convince all those people in her way to help her, even though she's a foal?
4360413 After the conclusion of the story, you mean? I’ve thought about investigating that further, but if I do, it’ll probably be from a different vantage point. I’m working on a story that focuses on Juniper, for example. While it doesn’t shed much light on Amber’s exploits during those eight years, future stories might, and my plan is to weave all the characters’ lives together in ways that they’re not even aware of. That’s a theme that, I hope, will be motivating for some.
4379010 wait... Just how old is Amber the foal anyways?
4379244 My conception of them was that the young Amber from the first chapter is entering puberty, and the Amber of the rest of the story is on the verge of adulthood.
4381773 Okay, how many ponies actually knew about the time travelling, and when were they told? There's Celestia and Luna, Damask, Amber's parents? Cherilee? Because, it seems like the authority figures accept the time travel a bit too easily, and without evidence for some of them...
4383158 Hmm, her relatives trust her at first, and in The Heists it becomes plain to them that Amber is telling the truth. They’ll also have noticed her sudden character change. Celestia figures it out by herself, with the help of the guard reports in The Heists. I mention Luna only peripherally, but I trust Celestia keeps her in the loop.
However, I’m not sure to what extend Amber lets Cheerilee in on her secrets. She tells her what they’ve been doing in Ponyville and Fillydelphia, but maybe she elides exactly how she knew about the impending invasion or, more likely, tells her outright that she did not feel comfortable sharing it.
Or maybe the narrator of the story is someone like Juniper, someone who likes Cheerilee and is willing to bend the truth to protect her from public mockery. The truth then might be that Cheerilee is sensitive enough not to let Amber feel that she disbelieves her but unwisely does voice that opinion at a later time. The news spreads throughout the class and maybe the whole school, and while most students don’t know Amber and don’t care, those who do incite great drama over whether she is delusional or not. Finally, they learn that Celestia herself has enlisted Amber to put her foreknowledge to good use, much to the embarrassment of one group, including Cheerilee. But that is pure speculation.
4383264 Ohhh.... that is NICE! This is an in-universe story!
I started reading this a little bit back on Medium.
I need to re-familiarize myself, but I liked what I read, an interesting premise and I really like the scene-building in the library. So far, so good!
4450864 Somehow, magically, you know just what to say to soothe my soul.