You pressed the wrong button [Edit]
In the royal garden are many statues. One is the most statue of Discord, but there is one statue which looks more ridiculous. It is a bipedal creature his left foot standing on an imaginary box while it is holding a sword pointed skyward. A school group is looking at the statues and a colt asks the fuchsia mare what the name of this particular statue is.
Oh please! For the love of Bill Gates, stop narrating like a C movie! Come on!
Well excuse me for trying to enjoy our time here, I wish we were stoned.
Oww! What an awful pun! How many years do we must go on with this!?
Just shut up I’m the spirit of disharmony, but you’re just annoying.
Well we will only shut up if you free us when the time comes, do we have a deal?
Fine and the ponies think I’m mad.
…..
…..
…..
“Well this statue is known as Annoying, but there is not much else about it. Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?”
And so three fillies start to fight about the meaning of Dissy and guess who escaped their stoneing I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t me.
As he broke out of his stone prison, he stretched. Oh, how much I miss that.
“Well to our deal is that you only get free if I get turned into stone again. And that won’t happen my friend; I’m crazy, but not mad. I won’t free you while I’m free and in control. But still, if I get turned into stone again, you’re free and I won’t have to hear you while I’m in prison again. It is a win-win situation.” Discord snaps with his eagle claw and my statue glowed for a moment.
“Ta-ta, I must spread some chaos.” and puff he was gone.
Well taste the rainbow motherfucker, gentleman we know how this will end.
Yeah dude we gonna be free and we know what we do first.
Indeed we do.
Chimicherychangas!!!
POV: Princess Celestia in the ceremony hall
Twilight and her friends beat Discord with their strong bond, now it is time to reward them for their bravery… Celestia’s thought was interrupted as the doors burst open and a red black costumed bipedal creature came in.
“Honey I’m home!” he shouted and held in one hand a frying pan. My eyes started to twitch and now I find myself wishing that Discord was on the loose, Luna just face hoofed.
He pushed the button on his torso and teleported in front of me and I swear I could see the grin under his mask.
“Not the momma!” he said in a childlike voice and slammed the frying pan over my head. The world turned black.
***
“Now back to my point of view suckers! Rest well Swiftwind, oh look at you cheese butt you’re more grumpy as Grumpy Cat.” Now I was in front of Luna with a frown and look now I’m in the right time period there are the mane six. The frying pan is pierced in the middle and I shrugged nonchalantly before tossing whelp, tossed it over my shoulder and heard an ouch.
Worth it.
Shall we get start with the flashback, or make a great exit?
First exit, then flashback.
“Catch me if you can!”
The unicorn guards start to fire magic missiles, but I just moonwalk out of the way
It’s Hammer time!
“Na, na, na, na, you can’t touch this!”
I slid to the left, out of the way as the horned ponies fired their Dalekkian death rays at us.
It really sound like them, too. Watch out for the pegasus coming at us from behind trying to sneak attack us.
I dropped into a gymnastic split, just in time and the guard sped over me.
I think it’s time to go.
I bowed to the panicking audience and pushed the button on my teleporting device.
And everything started with this thing.
Yeah! Flashback time! Are we doing it in a Delorean or in a Police box?
No you idiot! We're just doing a just a plain flashback.
POV Deadpool 1,616 years ago
I’m so excited for Japan Tag in Düsseldorf! (Dusseldorf in Germany) This year I’m going as the Merc with the mouth Deadpool. Oh how the people look at me in the bus and train, didn’t they see a man in spandex. The best thing on the way was how many times I was called Spiderman and they’re lucky I’m not really Deadpool, otherwise blood would have been spilled. Finally at the destination Düsseldorf am Rhein so many cosplayers and groan so many Pikachu’s first look at the stands before there overflowed with people.
There was one stand that got my interest, it had many cosplay props and to my disbelief it there was a replica of Deadpool’s teleporting device.
I must have it! “Wieviel kostet dies das hier?”
“Sorry I don’t speak German, do you speak English?” The owner of the stand replied.
Ok, you can do it with your school-level English and your gained knowledge from the many fan fiction you read.
“Yes I do speak English. How much does this here cost?”
And I point on the object of my desire.
“Oh the Deadpool device? No prob! This one cost 150 €uro for you, my friend.”
Wow! That is a lot of money! But I need this. Well here goes most of my budget.
“Okay I take it.” I grabbed my purse from my backpack and count the money and it hurts I don’t like to spend too much money, but I really wanted it.
“Here you go! Now it is yours. Have fun!” Well the salesman was nice. Now for a quick equip of the device perfect.
Hey! There is a Dante! I got to go fast to make some cool photos!
“Hey dude! I'm liking your Dante cosplay, können wir eben ein paar Bilder machen?” he looked at me and smiled.
“Ja klar und kannst du die moves aus UMVC3 ich habe extra alle für Dante gelernt. Das training hat lange gedauert aber hat sich gelohnt!” wow he also plays that game, we posed a bit and someone took a few pictures of/and for us.
Out of fun I pressed the button on the device I bought and started to glow in red light and only one thing I could say at the moment out of shock.
“You pressed the wrong button!” and the light took me and I blacked out.
Dude wake up we don’t have all of eternity.
I think you should try CAPSLOCK. It is louder.
What the hell happened? And who are these clowns? I open my eyes to see a dark forest, but there was nobody.
“Hello? Where are you? I heard you talking. Show yourself!” I start to panic right where I was.
Well there is a problem we can’t show ourself it is a bit complicated.
No it isn’t. We are the voices in your head! Congratulations! You are Deadpool now!
I’m spinning around try to see them, but it is in vain and their voices are as clear as if they were standing next to me. The next thing I notice is that I’m bulky like a bodybuilder.
Yes it is part of the transformation you are really Deadpool now check out your weapons.
This time I didn’t question it. I was in too much shock and- Holy fuck! My pistols are real and so my katana.
“What the hell is going on and where am I!?” I screamed at the voices.
Man you don’t need to scream like a wuss! We’re in your head! Just think and we know much as you do.
Well except through our 4th wall ability, we can tell we’re in a crappy fan fiction.
And because of that you must speak in English.
“NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!!!”
Present day: Deadpool’s point of view
Ah, the old castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.
They really let the palace down.
But it still work fine as a hiding spot.
So what is our status guys?
Well this whole getting stoned thing reset our stats.
Yes, we need to refresh if we want to have enough ammunition.
I still can’t believe that this is working; I pulled from my back-pocket-dimension (bpd) a cordless NES controller.
I entered the most powerful code ever build up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and start; infinite ammo bitch!
The controller got back in my bpd where so many other things are stored.
Now what is next on the agenda?
The next thing would be advertising we still need some money.
Why? Really, why!? That was one of the first reasons Celestia and Luna hates us.
I thought the first reason was that we shot her bird twice?
Oh and I thought it was because of the splendid “Yo mama” joke we did!
As the voices in my head count the multiple reason why they hate me I made my way to the throne room and made myself comfortable on Celestia’s old throne.
Like I said One of the reasons I can’t remember the exact order, hoping that Starswirl’s Magic-Up mobile phone still is working. My smartphone is still working. Let's see if the magic is working.
I wrote “Blah” on a paper with a pencil and at the bottom my number and underlined it poof it disappeared and I got a new text message.
Ok, let’s make some fliers, it will take some time.
How many do you think we need?
Well maybe over ni…
Stop right there that meme is so overused, just get on with flier making.
Twilight POV
Ok, just what the buck happened; a wacky creature struck down Princes Celestia and insulted Princes Luna. Rainbow Dash stormed over to me and asks “Do you know who this clown was?”
Princes Luna came to me.
“This “Clown” you speak of is the most dangerous creature in this realm.”
Rainbow Dash and I stared slack-jawed at the princess. How he could be more dangerous than Discord!?
“Before you ask any more question let’s gather the other Element bearers and wait for my sister to recover and we will tell why he is so dangerous.” The princes of the night made her way to her still unconscious sister.
“Okay Rainbow Dash could you gather the girls. I also want to check on how the princess is.”
Rainbow made a salute and flew into the crowd. I arrived as the princess starts to wake up.
“Ahhh! Please somepony tell me that this didn’t happen?” Celestia groans as she slowly stands up.
“No my dear sister and I think it is time to tell the Elements who he was.” Luna answered and helped her sister up.
Rainbow came with the girls, right behind her was Pinkie Pie hooping her way and humming the melody the creature sung and Applejack steady trotting behind.
Rarity was walking behind them with a “not amused” expression on her face and Fluttershy tries to hide behind her.
Princess Celestia looked at us with a serious expression.
"You must know about him that he is immortal. He can’t die. We saw it with our very eyes. Isn’t that right Luna?”
“Yes my sister. One of the not so gruesome event as we tried to talk him out of his villainous ways, he rammed a dagger into his forehead and said “Now I’m horny as you are!” we stopped to change him.”
Pinkie was giggling mad, Rainbow rolling on the floor laughing and the rest of us blushed.
“There is more. He works as a mercenary, he does everything for money, he even was partly the reason for the vanishing of a whole kingdom. So be prepared for anything and as a safety precaution keep the Elements of harmony on you at all times.”
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More damn it
*Reads intro*
Equestria having to fight dead pool ?
media.giphy.com/media/14mKkdv5bLVZqU/giphy.gif
I've ben waiting for this.
)
Keep it up.
Alle Männer, mögen sie diese Geschichte!
(this is probably really terrible German. I'm sorry.
4066387 No problem my english isn't much better
MOAR!
haha please moarr :D liked favorated !:D
Oh this is not going to go well if he befriends pinkie pie *head explodes at the thought of it*...I need more of this...MORE
Holy FK, this is epic, I can't stop laughing
MORE
Moooooorrreee. Mud have more of this gloriousness. Also I've noticed more fics along this trend piping up. On of Solaire from Darksouls, Tobi from naruto teamed with Yashumitsu from Soul Caliber, and even one with a guy being the Muscle Wizard. All absolutely hilarious. Respond and I'll send the links if your interested.
4066929 What did you like the most
4068726 when Deadpool hit Celestia with a Frying Pan
and all his other randomness 
4068752 It was just a reference like 90% of this story
4068787 still epic story
Merc with the mouth GO!!!
The power of Deadpool will prevail!
HONEY,IM HOME~!
Yay for one of the few marvel fanfics.
Hey, Deadpool! There's not enough EXPLOSIONS. You gotta give us more! MOAR. MMOOOAAARRR.
portlandmercury.com/binary/317e/1363152393-moar.gif
And there'sgottabeslashimgwithkatanasandfourthwallbreakingan-
WHATEVER YOU DO. DO NOT GO OVER THE BUDGET. WE HAD ISSUES WITH THAT LAST TIME, DEADPOOL.
Enough with these fics already.
4071860 It's just one o' those franchises that'll never die, in about a month or so we passed CGotG.
This. This is it. This is the POOLAGE!!!
x
Need moar.
For this awesome chapter have a mouchtache (I can't spell today!)
90008999Sweet Baby Monkey...I want MORE!!! Seriously, if you can pull off Deadpool in this fic, and make it interesting, you have my unending gratitude. Good luck!
The description horrifies me.
4072722 Yes I suck at the description (and english) but I didn't find a proofreader
4072746 I can proof-read the Description. I would do the whole thing but I am busy
4072764 Thanks man
Turn him to stone because he is a mercenary......
fucking retards.
4073139 Well there are more reason I won't spoiler but they're hillarious
LOVE the baby
FINALLY! now granted, knifing his own head? not neccessarily the way I thought the whole "horny as you are" bit would play out but it's still as hilarious
I am SO following this story
more please
I did description.
Great story but could you get edit because you need help with your grammar
Sorry about my last comment edit was supposed to be editor, again sorry
4076604 Why did you post a second comment if you could edit your old one???
Sorry I'm new here I didn't know you could do that
4077607 I think that this is funny you could edit your "edit" into editor
4068487 That's because all of those fics are part of the League of Humans Acting Villainous, or LoHAV, for short.
more chapters and better proofreaders please
4088205 well no proofreader I think it is really good for that
Hows the next chapter coming
4098003 Slowly I'm not the greatest writer and I found a proofreader/editor
so this chapter could be changed soon
Okay
4068787 Shoulda been a golden frying pan. Then Celestia could tell us how being a statue is like.
4078707 oh. Can I get a link to that group?
4100744 look in my description there is the link
4100744 Sure thing.
Boom, here ya go.
Sweeeet.
very nice
Okay I'll admit, that horn joke mad me laugh.
5900327 Same here!!