There Is a Fine Line Between Chaos And Panties
Rainbow Dash never denied before that she loved attention, and she never would. Whether it was the sound of ponies stomping their hooves, the shouting of her name, or the cheers as she did stunt after stunt, it was what made her feel alive when she performed and it was why she wanted to be a Wonderbolt so much. Now, for the first time in her life, she wished that absolutely nopony was looking at her.
“Get outta my way!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she continued to run, the ever-growing mob of ponies after her cursed panties increasing with each minute. Everypony from stallions to mares to even elders were rushing after her.
Turning left on the road, she wondered how she was gonna get out of this when she almost smacked herself for forgetting the most important thing. “I have wings! Duh!”
Taking off the ground, she began to fly upwards, leaving the massive amount of earth and unicorn ponies behind as they cried out their frustrations. “So long suckers!” shouted Dash as she blew them a raspberry. Then she screeched to a halt and gulped. While the earth ponies and unicorns were no longer a problem, she had forgotten about her own kind. Hundreds of smirking pegasi were in the air, eyes focused on the frightened Rainbow Dash.
When the hay did so many pegasi move here!?
“Warriors of the sky!” shouted a pegasus, donning a viking helmet. “Charge and ram that flank! Pillage those panties!”
“Pillage the panties!” shouted the fliers as they dive-bombed Rainbow Dash, who was already fleeing towards the ground.
She yipped as pegasi attacked her from above. She narrowly escaped their attempts to grab her behind and had to shift her rump left and right constantly while the pegasi around her crashed into the ground and into nearby buildings. Although she felt a little sorry for them, Rainbow Dash remembered that this was her butt at stake.
After landing safely on the ground, she tried to continue her escape, but she didn’t expect to be attacked by the side. Rolling on the ground, she came to a halt and gasped upon seeing a wide-eyed Fluttershy on top of her. “Hiiiiii. Dashieeeeeee!”
“F-F-F-Fluttershy! Look, we can talk about this!” shouted Rainbow Dash. She shivered as she felt Fluttershy slowly press her hoof against her flank and begin to rub a hoof in circles around her cutie mark.
“Oh, we can do some talking. Right after I make you yell my name!” shouted Fluttershy as she slowly leaned down and edged her teeth closer to the straps of the panties. Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and waited to have her innocence removed, but suddenly a voice cried out.
“Hey! Fluttershy!” The two turned to the right and saw Derpy with a giant bazooka that had a giant muffin in the missile port. “Breakfast is served!”
She fired the giant muffin with a loud bang. It sailed through the air and knocked Fluttershy off of Rainbow Dash and into a nearby wall, crashing right through it. Rainbow Dash just blinked at the sight before turning to Derpy, who ran up to her and held out her hoof. “Come with me if you want to live.” Reaching out, Rainbow Dash grabbed the hoof and was taken into the air, dragged by the cross-eyed pony.
Just as they left, out of the rubble burst Fluttershy, screaming with frustration. “Give me back my Dashie!” she yelled and took off.
Rainbow Dash glanced behind her shoulder and noticed the yellow and pink streak heading straight for them. “She’s gaining on us!”
Derpy turned around and fired muffin after muffin with her bazooka, but Fluttershy punched each one of them into crumbs as they came. Derpy looked around for an escape route and noticed the park nearby. Dragging Dash with her, Derpy made for it and landed, placing her behind a tree while she continued to fire her muffins at Fluttershy. Fluttershy, in turn, grabbed one of the muffins in midair and threw it at Derpy, knocking the bazooka out of her hooves.
Before she could recover it, Fluttershy knocked Derpy off her hooves and they landed in the nearby pond. Both mares tried to get ontop of the other, tearing their manes and punching each other over and over again. Finally, landing near the water, Fluttershy got on top of Derpy and screamed, “You’re mine! And then Dashie and her panties will be mine! Nopony shall keep me from my destiny!”
“She belongs in a hospital! Her butt is bleeding!” shouted Derpy, fighting off a hoof in her face.
“The only pony who will be bleeding is you when I’m done with you!” cried out Fluttershy.
Just then, a small little voice cried out, “Hello!”
The two stopped and turned to their left where they saw a small turtle with a cute smile. The weird thing though was it had a red button on the top of its shell. Fluttershy immediately cooed and put her hooves to her cheeks. “Awww, it’s a mine turtle.”
Derpy’s eyes rotating as she noticed the red button and lifted her hoof. “What does this button do?”
“No! Wait! Don’t!” shouted Fluttershy, but it was too late.
Click.
BOOOOOOOM!
***
Rainbow Dash saw the explosion from her hiding spot and gulped. “I think that’s my ticket to get out of here.”
With that said, she flew out of the park as fast as she could.
***
Back at ground zero, an ash covered Derpy and Fluttershy stood still as statues. Coughing out a small cloud of soot, Derpy said, “When you meant... mine turtle...”
“I meant literally,” coughed Fluttershy before her eyes rolled up and she fainted.
“Oh,” said Derpy before doing the same thing.
***
Rainbow Dash decided that the only way she was going to make it out of here alive was to pack her things and leave Ponyville. Maybe even change her name and live a new life somewhere far west. The Buffalo Tribes were a nice bunch of folk! As she tried to get out of town she made sure to duck behind anything that would protect her from being seen by any of the various search groups tottering around the area. Bushes, crates, lamp-posts, even a port-a-potty or two. Anything was better than being hunted.
The only problem was her home was about two miles away. How the hay am I going to get there!? At this rate, it will be next year when I get home! thought Rainbow Dash, hiding inside a barrel.
She then quietly and carefully got out of the barrel, only to find herself slipping on a stray banana peel. “Woooaaah!” she cried out, as she slipped on the peel and knocked over the barrel. Falling onto it’s side, she was rolling on top of it as she found herself heading back into the public street. The coke bottle finally slipped off her hooves, making her land on her rump with a hard thud. She winced but then gasped as the coke bottle sailed into the air before crashing through a window.
A window that happened to belong to “Alarms, Glass Panes, Cymbals, and Motion Sensitive Airhorns Euporium.”
Sure enough at least a hundred sirens and bells were screeching and whistling loud enough to wake up all of Ponyville. Everypony turned to Rainbow Dash who was already running down the streets. Obviously, a large group of ponies demanding her panties was right behind her. Rainbow Dash turned left and soon found herself trapped within a dead end of an alley. She turned around where the grinning group of panty-obsessed ponies slowly inched towards her, their mouths watering.
Rainbow Dash pressed herself against the wall and gulped. So this is it? This is how it all ends? Torn apart because of underwear? I’m sure there are worse fates... sadly I can’t think of any right now.
Before the mob of ponies could descend upon her, dark clouds formed above their heads. Darkness covered the area as lightning crackled in the sky. Soon, a being descended upon them like a dark goddess with her wings spread as her voice cried out, “HEAR US SUBJECTS! THY CHAOS SHALL BE PUT TO AN END!”
Everypony’s mouth dropped as Princess Luna landed before them. After picking up their jaws, they all quickly bowed. She gazed upon the ones who were chasing Rainbow Dash before she pointed her hoof and shouted, “Thou shalt chase after the Element of Loyalty no more! She is under our protection! We have spoken!”
Rainbow Dash felt her heart soar out of her chest and do back-flips in the air upon hearing this. If Princess Luna was really going to get her out of this mess then she would praise the moon for the rest of her life. Princess Luna walked over to Rainbow Dash and sheltered her with a wing while her horn glowed. Before she knew it they were starting to disappear.
“We shall provide sanctuary for thy delicious panties! Now we go!” cried out Luna as she and Rainbow Dash teleported in a wink of magic. The dark clouds began to subside as the group of chasers all pouted with the fact they had to stop their chase.
“Wait a minute,” cried out one of them, ”Did she say ‘delicious’ panties?”
***
Whatever bedroom a “Princess of the Night” was suppose to have, Rainbow Dash had a sudden suspicion that this wasn’t what it was suppose to be. There were scented candles everywhere, along with rose petals decorated around the bed and on the blankets. The curtains were shut and the only light was coming from the candles. Already, Rainbow Dash’s warning bells were going off. She was starting to suspect her “rescuer” was more her “kidnapper”.
Princess Luna, holding two half filled glasses of wine, walked over while sashaying her hips back and forth. “All that running must of made thou thirsty, Rainbow Dash. A drink?”
“Um, thanks,” said Rainbow Dash who couldn’t deny her parched throat. She hadn’t run so much since the Running of the Leaves. She guzzled down the sweet alcohol and sighed in relief. “Well, thanks for the rescue, but I need to be going now.”
Rainbow Dash turned to leave via the door, but she was suddenly pulled back by dark blue magic and thrown towards the bed. “Hey! What the?!”
Princess Luna drank the rest of her wine while Rainbow Dash struggled against her telekinetic grip. She then turned to a small boombox that was on a dresser and pressed play. “We apologize for the deception, Rainbow Dash. But as they say,” she tossed the wine cup away and licked her lips, “all’s fair in love and war.”
“But... why?!” begged Rainbow Dash.
Princess Luna sighed. “One thousand years, Rainbow Dash. We have not had a lover for over one. Thousand. Years!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widen. “Oh... yeah... that would be kinda sucky...”
“Our Royal Lower Lips have gone untouched by another for so long! We burn for the feeling of another’s fur to nuzzle us in the most intimate of places! We wish to mate! To make love! To have nookie! To do the deed! To let off steam! To have snu-snu! To bang she bang! To fuc-”
“Okay! We get it! You want sex! Geez, why not just ask any guard of yours too do it?!” demanded Rainbow Dash, nervously biting her lip as Luna got closer.
“Well, We would, but apparently Celestia made it illegal to do so. Not to mention she got rid of our right to have concubines, the little witch,” muttered Luna. She turned her eyes to Rainbow Dash as she stood above her, caressing her cheek with one hoof and her flank with the other. Inching towards those rainbow panties. “But it matters not. Once We have thy underwear, We shall ravage thy rump so much you will be numb for days.”
“I can’t let you do that, Princess Luna!”
The two of them turned to the windows as the curtains opened. In the bright light, shining like a beacon of hope for Dash, was none other than the one true hero of the world. He who stands against all the forces of evil. He who is the handsomest, smartest, most beloved and—
HEY! Who the heck says you can take over my story! I’m the narrator here pal, not you!
Well, sorry for providing some better commentary than your usual stuff. Besides, you have a few errors there as usual.
Just quit using your chaos powers on my laptop and get back in the story before I decide to not include you.
Fine... also when are you gonna update Palace Perils? Everybody keeps asking.
If you don’t give me back control I swear I will write a story where you are in a crossover with Blue Gender, Mermaid Melody, and BOKU NO PICO!
Fine. Party pooper.
Why you little... oh wait.. umm...
Anyway...
It was none other than Discord, with a super hero cape around his neck and a large golden D on his chest. Rainbow Dash looked at him with a green face. “Oh sweet Celestia, no! Please no! I’ll take Luna, Derpy, or ten Fluttershy’s before I have you try to take my panties!”
“For your information, Rainbow Dash, if I wanted your panties I could have had them with a snap of my fingers while vacationing in Las Pegasus. Luckily, I happen to be not interested in you. I am here to rescue you, as a matter of fact,” declared Discord as he strolled in, walking like he owned the place.
“Oh, and what, pray tell, dost thou think you can do, Discord?!” shouted Luna as her eyes glowed white and her aura of magic spread over her body like a giant great flame. “We are the Princess of the Night! Raiser of the moon! Vanisher of nightmares! There is no great power on this earth that can ever stand to our mig—”
Discord snapped his fingers and, with a simple flash, Luna was gone. Dash, now free from her magic, stretched her legs before looking back at where Princess Luna was previously. “Where did you send her?”
“Oh, someplace familiar...”
***
Princess Luna blinked as she looked upon the cold, grey wasteland before looking up and seeing the planet right above. It took her only a second to realize why this felt so familiar as she began to shake with rage.
“DISCCCCCOOOOOOOORRRRRDDDDD!!!” shouted a long voice on the moon.
***
“Okay, not that I’m complaining and all, but why did you save me? What’s the catch?” demanded Rainbow Dash, crossing her hooves and eying the Spirit of Chaos.
“Me? Why is it so hard to think that I’m just doing this as part of my efforts to redeem myself as a good soul?” asked Discord, a halo appearing over his head.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.
Sighing, Discord grabbed the halo and ate it like a donut before answering. “Well, if you must know, your little panty search has cause a lot of fun chaos that I happen to be enjoying and I don’t want it to end yet. So I’ve decided to get involved, just this once, in order to have the fun continue.”
“Figures, even when you're helping you're still you,” muttered Dash.
“I aim to please. Now, shall we send you back home?” asked Discord, readying his fingers, but Rainbow Dash got right in front of his face and glared.
“Oh, no you don’t. For all I know you’ll teleport me into a giant mob of those who are chasing me. I think I’ll take my chances flying home!” Dash flew out the window and soon was nothing but a multi-colored speck.
Discord watched her go before shrugging. “Well, I was going to help her avoid the one who's waiting for her. But then again it will be so much more fun to see her expression.”
***
Rainbow Dash never felt so happy then the moment she saw her house. She landed on the front porch and sighed in relief upon feeling the familiar and safe clouds. Now she could hide out in her house or pack her things and leave town for a few days. She was about to reach for her door when something bright red, like a flaming fire, landed right in front of her.
Dash felt her entire body freeze upon seeing who it was.
Spitfire glared at Dash before poking her in the chest. “Okay, Cadet. You and I need to have a talk. Now.”
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Buried alive... buried alive!
TO ALL READERS!!
I would like to point out that this sack of shit of an author wanted to put Dog Days instead of Boku no Pico before I got around to editing it. Apparently this shithead of a writer thinks that the most adorable anime of all fucking time sucks.
Fucking idiot.
Pfahahahahaha! This is so deliciously hilarious that it's almost too much.
... I said almost. That doesn't you should stop.
Also, it's official, Derpy is best pony (hurray!) so far she is the only one helping out of concern and not for ulterior motives of the smexy variety.
, but more importantly: muffin bazooka! I mean come on, that's some deliciously doughy bad-plottery right there. Also, sex depraved luna is seriously creepy, but you must give her some points for taking the time to set the ambiance.
Awesome chapter, would rate 10/10 plots.
Or her...ass to risk?
That mine turtle was...very random.
Let me guess, now it's Spitfire's turn to make a play for Rainbow Dash's panties.
the mine turtle could only make me think of this.
So are Rainbow Dash and Spitfire going to have a talk or are they going to have a "TALK?"
SF: What were you thinking? Posing in frilly underwear?
RD: Umm.
SF: Going around, saying you'll sleep with anypony who gets your panties off?
RD: Uggghhh
SF: Without even including me in on it?
RD: .......What?
Hah, this is hilarious. Keep it up!
I want to favorite this... but eh... I'm broken.... Take a upvote until my processor starts running again...
5553378
She's that obessed
quotespics.com/wp-content/quote-images/come-with-me-if-you-want-to-live.jpg
WOW!!! This has been an awesomely great story so far. I can't wait for more!
That was f***ing hilarious!
PD: I watched Boku No Pico a long time ago. And I love it ^^ I want more!
5552915
Now your world is open to the marvelous traps, my friend
You need to put a Charlie the unicorn refr fence if you're putting a mine turtle in.
It needs to be like,
She flies out of her house and Pinkie and Surprise going Raaaiiinnnnbow Rainbow lets go to candy mountain.
Then she goes at like 11:59 and wakes up and goes, "shit they stole my panties."
5553228
i actually have never given a thought about mine turtles... trololol
ermagurd! Hilarious!!
I couldn't keep my self together and started laughing so loud
I can totally see Luna as a George Michael fan. Perfect choice of music. That and the mine turtle got me laughing so hard...
I hope this gets finished up soon.
And there's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of your time.
Oh god Luna, you too?
5637128
DEATH BY SNUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- SSSSSSSSSSSSNU
Its nit the terminator reference, its not the mine turtle, its the fourth wall break tht i cannot stand