A Sexy Princess and A Catfight
Rainbow Dash never believed in the quote “It’s always the quiet ones” until she met Fluttershy. The shy pegasus was as gentle as a butterfly and as timid as a possum, but there was a reason why Fluttershy was made into Saddle Rager when they went into that comic book. She had a mean temper that made her go crazy. Like angry Pinkie Pie scary crazy.
And while Derpy was no slouch herself, the many accidents she had survived and property damage she had done could attest to that, she didn’t want to see half of Ponyville destroyed because of a misunderstanding. Especially, since she was not gay.
“Seriously, do I need a sign that says ‘I am into guys’ twenty-four seven!” cried out Rainbow Dash, flying at top speed. She didn’t even care if ponies saw her in her underwear or not, things were gonna get much worse. And she needed the one pony who could help her solve this crisis.
Flying near Twilight Sparkle’s house, Rainbow Dash saw a large crowd of ponies just staring at it’s front doors like a bunch of mindless zombies. Raising an eyebrow, she went towards them, but got no reaction. Even when she was just above their heads, panties and all, not one of them focused on her.
She landed right in front of the group and stared at them. “What is wrong with you guys? What are you looking at?” She turned around but soon wished she hadn’t.
Her jaw dropped for the umphteth time today before she covered her eyes with her wings. “No. Please no. Not even her. She’s the egghead. The non-fun one. The perfect student. Why in the name of Celestia is this happening?!”
Removing her wings from her vision, Rainbow Dash saw Princess Twilight Sparkle washing the tree house with a big wet and soapy sponge while it’s lather got all over her. It sank deep down her pelt as it slowly washed down upon each and every hair before dripping down over her soft, purple panties with her cutie mark right in the middle where both cheeks met. It slithered downwards like a river of foam before slowly dripping towards the end and forming a white and blue puddle right between her legs.
A hose sprayed water on the tree as droplets of it fell upon Twilight’s mane and back, mixing in with the foam as she swayed back and forth, her body a hypnotic dance. Twilight looked back and winked at the crowd who all went red in the face. Suddenly, a boom box appeared with a puff of smoke and she pressed the play button.
Now even Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but get a wingboner like so many other pegasi in the crowd, even from other females. Twilight started to shake her flank around while she continued to use both the hose and the soapy sponge to spread her cleaning around more before turning around and laying flat against the bark. The water and soap were now flowing down her entire body, making her look like a water nymph coming out of a waterfall to show her beauty to the world.
She then turned around and let the sponge slowly wash her back. From the top of her neck all the way lower and lower. It was as slow as a snail and yet it was like watching a bright star fall from the heavens onto the earth; mesmerizing. Finally the sponge was right between her two glorious round bottom cheeks as she gave a sly smirk before squishing them both against the sponge. Foam squirted out towards the crowd before it began to leak between the flanks and increase the size of the puddle in streams while the hose was now focused on Twilight’s mane, her head twirling around in circles
A few males, and some females, had already fainted with blood squirting out of their noses.
It wasn’t over though, not by a long shot. Twilight turned the hose off and suddenly placed it through one of the leg holes as she stood up on her rear legs, facing the crowd. She let it loop out of the other leg hole and held it with both hooves right between her legs, near her pelvis. Sticking her tongue out, she let the hose spray water again, this time against the crowd as she waved it back and forth, getting everypony wet.
Rainbow Dash, finally having enough, marched up to Twilight and shouted, “Twilight! What the hay are you MMMPH!”
Before Dash could finish she felt Twilight grab her by the cheeks and press her lips against her. A few more ponies fainted as Dash’s heard her mind exploding from the inside of her skull. It only took her a full minute of kissing to realize that one of her best friends was now making out with her. First, Applejack forced her to put on panties. Then Rarity assumed she wanted to get nasty with her; and, suspiciously, wasn’t totally against it. Fluttershy was a creepy love obessed pantie freak that happen to have an obsessed crush on her. And now Twilight was kissing her.
What is with my friends and wanting to have me! thought Rainbow Dash before she pulled herself away from Twilight and started spitting the taste of lavender out of her mouth. It was all too much for her to take. She just flew out of there without a second thought except to find a hammer to smash the imagery of what she just saw out of her head. Or put her in a coma. Either option would work. .
But just as Rainbow Dash left...
“What the buck is going on here?!”
Everypony turned to see another Twilight Sparkle rush through the crowd with a beet red face both out of embarrassment and rage as she growled against the smirking copy. “Who the hay are you, and why are you making me look like some kind of Las Pegasus Show Girl!”
The copy Twilight gave a familiar laugh as she transformed in a puff of blue smoke and revealed herself. “Why it is none other than the Great and Powerful Trixie! Here to embarrass her arch-rival!” She laughed a bit more before taunting. “What do you think, Twilight Sparkle? I’d say these by now a few saucy rumors about you will be spreading across all of Ponyville. I can see it in the headlines: ‘Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia’s Faithful Student? Or Dirty Little Mare?’.”
“Why you!” shouted Twilight, blasting her with magic.
Trixie used another smoke bomb and disappeared as her voice rang out, “Once again, The Great and Powerful Trixie is triumphant! Revenge is hers! Muahahahahaha!”
Twilight closed her eyes and screamed into the air while raising her hoof. “DAMN YOU, TTTTRRIIIIXXXIIIEEEEE—MMMMPHHH!”
Twilight’s eyes widen as Trixie teleported in front of her and kissed her right on the lips before giving a wink and teleporting again. Twilight blinked a bit and licked her lips. “Huh, not bad. Wait, I mean.... TTTTRRIIIIXXXIIIEEEEE”
***Meanwhile in Canterlot***
Celestia sighed in disappointment as she removed her popcorn and soda from her lap. “Aw, show’s over. Shoot...” She levitated her extremely powerful telescope from her balcony and back into her room.
A short moment later, Princess Luna popped her head out the door. “Sister, there you are. What are you doing?”
“Just checking in on the locals...” said Celestia with a hidden pervy sigh. “And all the glorious views.”
Applejack hated slow market days. It wasn’t the fact that a bad market day meant the end of everything for the farm. It just meant another day of being bored while sitting on her flank doing nothing. She didn’t know how Big Macintosh could stay still for hours and just zone out while chewing on that piece of hay in his mouth. It’s like he’s of them zen masters from Neighpon, thought Applejack.
She looked up the sky and sighed. “Where is that blue feathered lazy butt. She better not have chickened out on that dare!”
Applejack kept her ears open for any rumors of Rainbow Dash flying around while wearing panties but she hadn’t heard hide nor feather of her. There were rumors of an injured weather pony, Photo Finish in town, and the Wonderbolts as well. If there was any truth to the last one then Applejack doubted she would be seeing the daredevil anytime soon. Although, she thought with a snicker, knowin’ Rainbow Dash she would go see them Wonderbolts even when she’s wearin’ underwear.
Still, she wished something exciting would just happen.
“Hey, Applejack!” shouted a voice that nearly spooked her hat off. She turned around and saw Derpy, flying above her and looking worried. “Sorry, but have you seen Rainbow Dash? It’s really important!”
“Rainbow? Can’t say that Ah have, why?”asked Applejack, putting her hat back in place.
Biting her lip with worry, Derpy kept one of her eyes focus on AJ while the other checked the market around. “Rainbow Dash is hurt really bad! Her butt’s bleeding!”
Applejack leaned back, eyes widened. Of all the things she had expected to hear that was the furthest thing on her mind. “Her... what?”
“Yeah, she’s got these nifty panty casts because of some injury or another and then when I knocked into her, her butt started to bleed! I went to get a doctor, but she ran off and I’ve been looking for her! Have you seen her?!” asked Derpy, rapidly.
“Ah... can’t say that Ah have,” answered Applejack. Although a part of her was happy that Rainbow Dash was following the dare, she was concerned about her health. She knew bleeding was bad and if she was bleeding out of there that was cause for alarm. Then again, this was Derpy she was talking to.
That point was later proven when both of the mail mare's eyes then focused on a certain favorite food of hers that Applejack happen to have on her menu. “Are those apple muffins?!”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Want one?” asked Applejack, handing one off to her.
“Yes, please!” shouted Derpy who was about to take a big bite... until something yellow and pink tackled her in mid air and sent her flying into the ground.
Applejack’s jaw dropped. Not from the fact that somepony managed to knock Derpy out of the sky with obvious violent intended, but rather who it was that did it. “F-Fluttershy?” asked Applejack nervously as she stared at the pissed off pegasus who was wearing pink panties.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, you derp-eyed waifu stealer!” roared Fluttershy, attracting everypony in the market. Some turned away with a blush upon seeing her with only panties on while others were taking photos.
Derpy shook her head and demanded, “What is your problem and... wait...” she gasped and looked to her side where the crushed apple muffin was. “No! My muffin!”
She slowly cradled the tasty treat she loved so much and sniffed as a tear dripped down each of her eyes... before they suddenly glowed red with rage. Gently placing the muffin down, Derpy spoke while shaking with rage. “I have no idea why you attacked me. Nor do I really like being violent. But for the crime of destroying the food of the gods themselves...” She turned around and roared at Fluttershy. “I will destroy you!”
“Bring it on you dream killer!” shouted Fluttershy who charged again at Derpy, only this time she was prepared.
Derpy leaped over Fluttershy before grabbing her by her tail. Fluttershy gasped as she was swung around in the air before thrown by Derpy, heading straight for Applejack’s booth. The cowpony retreated just as Fluttershy crashed into her booth, apples scattering everywhere. Dashing forward, Derpy tackled Fluttershy into the dirt. With a husky growl, Derpy bit into Fluttershy’s neck, eliciting a cry from her victim. Fluttershy replied with a bit of her own into Derpy’s ear, apparently trying her best to rip the thing off of Derpy’s head.
Derpy broke away from Fluttershy, punching the pegasus in the gut a couple of times. Fluttershy fought the urge to double over. Instead, she replied with a kick to Derpy’s nose, blood squirting all over both mare’s coats and manes. Derpy saw the color red, enraged further, and once again tackled Fluttershy to the ground, ripping out whatever strands of mane that she could get her teeth and hooves on.
Fumbling for anything, Fluttershy blindly found an apple on the ground on the ground. Roaring, she smashed the poor fruit into Derpy’s face, turning the once prized snack into applesauce. Derpy found an apple herself, throwing it at Fluttershy, though the latter was able to dodge the mealy projectile. Soon, the two were throwing apples across the market. Only a few hit their targets. Many missed. Many more hit bystanders.
“Hiyayayayayayayaya!” cried out Fluttershy as she leaped up and started repeatedly kicking Derpy.
Derpy managed to block all of the blows except for a surprise spinning round house kick that knocked her near a cabbage stand. Shaking her head a bit, Derpy growled and grabbed one much to the owner’s despair. “No! Not my cabbages!”
Ignoring the vendor, Derpy threw the vegetable, but Fluttershy was able to deliver a blow that sent the cabbage leaves flying. This was what Derpy was waiting for as she charged forward, flying low on the ground before rising just below Fluttershy’s chin. “Shoryuken!” cried out Derpy delivering the powerful uppercut that sent Fluttershy flying into the air before she cae down, landing hard on the pavement.
Growling, she got up and spat out some saliva before putting standing on her backhooves. She circled her forelegs a bit before placing them by her side as Derpy gasped and covered her head. “Hadoken!”
Fluttershy shot her hooves out... and nothing came out.
Everypony just stared at a slowly blushing Fluttershy as crickets nearby started to chirp. Derpy snorted a bit before bursting into all out laughter, holding her sides as she fell to her haunches and pointed at the embarrassed Fluttershy. A vein at Fluttershy’s forehead bulged a bit before she growled and did a backflip. While doing this, she skillfully managed to take off her panties and prepared to fire them like a slingshot. “Pantie power!”
The elastic underwear was released and launched across the air into Derpy’s face. “Help! I’m blind!” she shouted while waving her hooves around.
Smirking, Fluttershy puffed out her chest and pointed at the blind mare, shouting, “Angel Bunny! I choose you!”
A white and black blur appeared out her hair, flipping around and bouncing so fast he was a blur. By the time Derpy managed to get the panties off, she was met with a two rabbit feet that knocked her straight towards a carrot cart with her eyes spinning more than normal. The bunny flipped in the air with great skill before landing with a smirk behind his ninja mask.
Derpy rubbed her head and shouted, “No fair! You’re using your pet!”
Fluttershy smirked. “All’s fair in love and war.”
“Oh yeah?!” shouted Derpy, grabbing a few carrots. “Take this!”
Angel rolled his eyes when he saw her throw the carrots straight at him like spears. Angel jumped up into the air while shooting out shuriken that managed to slice away half of the carrots aiming at him. Landing, he took off with the speed of a tiger and drew out his own small ninja sword.
The ninja bunny lept up and sliced up the remaining carrots with his sword. The carrot pieces, all perfectly cut, landed in front of the bunny in a tall pillar. A smile on his face, he took one and popped it in his mouth. So over-confident he was with his victory that he failed to ignore the large shadow that was slowly growing below his feet.
“Iron Butt Bomb Attack!”
Angel raised an eyebrow before looking upward. His eyes bugged out in surprise as a set of grey flanks came straight down upon him. Angel gulped before he was crushed by the earth-shattering butt attack of Derpy which had been known to crush entire buildings.
“Angel! No!” screamed Fluttershy in terror. She growled and knocked Derpy off her bunny before cradling him in her forelegs. “Angel! Say something! Anything!”
The response was a slap to the face before bunny, rubbing his head, bounced away while giving her the finger. Fluttershy rubbed her red cheek before whispering, “Um, okay. See you at home. Thank you.”
“Hey! Tree hugger!”
Fluttershy turned around only to get tackled by Derpy who struggled against holding her down but her opponent used her wings to make them fly up into the sky. The two separated before they began to scream and dive towards each other again, exchanging blow for blow so fast the eyes of bystanders could barely see what was going on.
Applejack, looking away from the fight and towards her now destroyed stand, just sighed and put up the ‘closed’ sign before making her way down to the local watering hole for a cold one. At least she was going to until she heard Pinkie’s voice cry out from a distance with a large blowhorn.
“HEY EVERYPONY! RAINBOW DASH WILL GO OUT WITH WHO EVER STEALS HER PANTIES OFF HER FLANK!”
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''No! Not my cabbages!''
Avatar: The Last Airbender reference?
Am I right?
4703185
yup and no firsting. We get enough of that on Youtube and Twitter and Tumblr
fathermuffin. PREPARE TO DIE.This chapter is serene and philosophical
I have no idea what I just read but I loved it.
Well, that was fast.
God this story continues to be amazing
Damn you and I wanted write comment that this scenę lack of hadoken ughhhh
Damn, that fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aaaaand... sexy and mischiveous Trixie is best Trixie *nosebleeding*
Keeps on getting better
4703195 haha, okay sorry
Um, Why did Pinkie yell that? Where'd she get that idea?
4703399
You will see next chapter
4703302 and also penetrate everything up to armor class 3
poor derpy, poor rainbowdash, poor twilight ...
4703432
I don't feel bad for Twilight at all. But then, I enjoy stories where Twilight is harassed and annoyed. All hail Trixie!
4703399
Trolling?
Some should make a drawing of that scene with Twilight.
4703498 Annoyed Twilight is best Twilight.
And yes... moooooooooooooooooore.
4703525
R34 artist?
Dafuq did I just read?
That whole Trixie as Twilight scene was hilarious and probably hotter than it should have been and that fight scene between the derpmeister and Fluttershy was weird as hell.
More please.
Well this is officially ridiculous. Everything about this chapter just screamed parody. A little too silly for my taste. But that Twilight Scene! Once I got passed the WTF I couldn't stop laughing. Very sexy as well, for a teen fic.
4703399
It's Pinkie Pie. Do you even have to ask?
4703576 why not?
Twilight/Trixie is sexiest nerd.
Song choice was perfect.
I love how AJ at the end was all "fuck it, Ah'm done."
Let the insanity continue.
Panties are best fetish.
~Adjier
Darn you rated pony star! I'm forced to take a cold shower each time I read a chapter, stop being so good at what you doooo~
Now if you don't mind, I'm going to reread the scene with twilight once again.
. . .
Awesome. Just simply awesome. I couldn't stop laughing by the end. Makes it a little hard to read, though.
Super excited for next chapter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa92V4Uwl9A&feature=player_detailpage#t=419 - This played in my head when Angel appeared.
Well, I found two references;
Avatar the Last Airbender
And double Street Fighter
.
A big ol' faceplam was earned for each.
I just caught up in a four chapter marathon.
...
Sometimes the gods have a really good sense of humor.
Well...um...I completely don't even anymore.
However, I fear I might need to go to my bunk now after that treehouse-washing scene...
4703185 Firsting is against site rules and you can be banned for doing it. So don't.
4703195 Hilarious chapter! This little story just keeps getting crazier and crazier.
Dat last line, do'...
4704908 wait it is a rule, I really should read the rules.. You know I'm just gonna edit it now so it doesn't say first anymore..
4664242
Release the Kraken!!!
*Angel walks out*
This chapter is complete genius. And very sexy. And funny. Overall AWESOME!!!
I hate it when people add nosebleeds as a sign of sexual arousal.
That only happens if you have an extremely rare form of rhinitis (A serious genetic condition).
The japanese do have a high number of cases (but not that high, you'd think based off their media that everyone there has it!) as opposed to the rest of the world population.
That stereotype is just retarded, and really kills the story.
It's spelled "shoryuken."
Ugh, it feels like I'm reading a parody than actual comedy. There is no structure to these jokes at all. They just come and go! It's not a bad read, but this doesn't seem like it would happen in real life unless it was completely rehearsed. Ergo, a parody.
BABY BABY BABY NO NO NO NO
THIS IS NOT COOL BECAUSE MY FEET IS A BRUNO MAR
I don't want to read this because it's so stupid, and yet I can't stop reading it. Overall very random and entertaining.
4703185 God damn it, why does every single damn story on this website have that reference?!??!?!
And why do I laugh every single time I see it!?!??!
4703911
IKR?
This story doesn't update fast enough...
4704679 You forget Pokemon, Fruit Ninja and Dragon Ball Z.
Pinkie, what are you trying to do? You're gonna sick the entire town on Rainbow Dash.
Christ sakes, Pinkie Pie, as if things weren't ludicrous enough already.
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!