Pirates of Equestria: Dead Stallion's Chest

by The Phantom Joker

Hide The Cider

Back at Tortuga, Cadence and a hungover Lightning Dust followed Rainbow Dash and Applejack to The Black Pearl.

“Captain Dash,” said Cadence.

“Ah, come to join my crew, have you? Welcome aboard,” said Rainbow without turning around.

“I’m here to find the stallion I love,” said Cadence as Lightning threw up behind her.

“Well, then you probably came to the wrong ship,” said Rainbow.

“Meaning Shining Armor Sparkle, Captain Dash,” said Cadence.

Rainbow turned around and smiled at Cadence. “Ah, Cadence,” she said, before telling Applejack in an undertone, “Hide the cider.”

“Aye, Captain,” whispered Applejack before she left.

“Look, Rainbow, I know Shining Armor went to find you, where is he?” demanded Cadence.

Rainbow sighed as she walked up to Cadence. “Cadence, I’m truly unhappy to be the one to have to tell you this, but… through unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable circumstances that had absolutely nothing whatsoever to with me… poor Shining Armor has been pressed-ganged into Spike Jones’s crew,” she said.

“Spike Jones? Who’s that?” asked Cadence as Lightning threw up again.

“Oh, please… the captain of The Flying Dutchman?” said Lightning.

“You look terrible, what are you doing here?” said Rainbow.

“You hired me. It’s not my fault if your standards are lax,” said Lightning.

“Well, you smell funny,” said Rainbow.

“Rainbow. All I want is to find Shining Armor,” said Cadence.

Rainbow Dash scoffed before she had an idea. “Are you sure? Is that really what you want most?” she said.

“Of course,” said Cadence, puzzled.

“Because, I’d think you’d want to find a way to save Shining Armor most,” said Rainbow.
“And, you’d have a way of doing that?” asked Cadence.

“Well…” said Rainbow, putting her hoof on Cadence’s shoulder. “It just so happens that there’s a chest.”

“Oh, boy,” said Lightning Dust, before she puked again.

“A chest of unknown size and origin,” continued Rainbow.

“Which contains the still-beating heart of Spike Jones,” said Silver Spoon as she passed by with Diamond Tiara.

“Yeah,” said Diamond, making heartbeat sounds as she passed. Cadence gave the two mares a sour look.

“Anyways, whomsoever gets their hooves on that chest possesses the leverage to get Spike to do whatever he or she wants. Which, includes saving Shining Armor from his grim fate,” said Rainbow.

“You don’t actually believe her, do you?” asked Lightning Dust.

Cadence sighed. “How would we find it?” she asked.

Rainbow held the compass that was around her neck in her hoof. “With this. My compass…” said Rainbow, opening and closing the compass. “Is unique.”

“‘Unique’ in this case meaning ‘broken,’” said Lightning, before she walked away to throw up again.

“Well, I suppose that’s true enough. My compass doesn’t point north,” said Rainbow.

“Well, then where does it point?” asked Cadence.

“Nothing more or less than what you want the most in this world. Now, what you want the most is to find the lost chest of Spike Jones,” said Rainbow, placing the compass in Cadence’s hoof.

“To save Shining Armor?” said Cadence.

“Stay with my program, lady. You want to save Shining Armor by finding the lost chest of Spike Jones,” said Rainbow, slightly annoyed as she opened the compass and backed away.

The compass arrow spun in a few different directions, before finally settling in one direction.

Rainbow Dash looked at the compass and smiled. “Miss Applejack,” she said.

“Captain?” said Applejack, walking up to Rainbow.

“We have our heading,” said Rainbow.

“About time. Weigh anchor and crowd that canvas!” Applejack yelled at the crew.

“Miss Mi Amore,” said Rainbow, motioning for Cadence to board first.

As Lightning followed, Silver and Diamond came off the ship with a goat, which they set on Lightning Dust.

“Welcome to the crew, former Commodore,” said Silver.

Meanwhile, at Trixie’s Manor…

Trixie levitated a beautiful sword in her magic as Governor Mi Amore stood in her office, bound in shackles.

“It’s a curious thing, isn’t it, to know the shape of the world and one’s place in it,” said Trixie.

“I can assure you, these are not necessary,” said Mi Amore.

“I had you brought here because I thought you’d be interested in the whereabouts of your daughter,” said Trixie, aiming the point of the sword, now in her hand, at Mi Amore.

“Y-you have news of her?” said Mi Amore.

“She was recently seen on the island of Tortuga and left in the company of known pirate Rainbow Dash, and other fugitives from justice,” said Mercer, who was examining a chart.

“‘Justice’? Hardly,” said Mi Amore.

“Including the former owner of this sword, if what I’ve heard is correct,” said Trixie, placing the sword in its scabbard and putting the whole thing back in its case. “Our ships are in pursuit. Justice will be dispensed by cannonade and cutlass and all other remorseless pieces of metal. Personally, I find it highly distasteful to even picture the horror facing all those on board The Pearl.”

“What do you want from me?” asked Mi Amore.

“Oh, nothing much, just your influence in Canterlot, your authority as governor, and your loyalty to the East Equestria Trading Company,” said Trixie.

“To you, you mean,” said Mi Amore.

Trixie walked up to Mi Amore. “Shall I remove these shackles?” she asked.

Very, very, very recluctantly, Mi Amore sighed and said, “Just… do what you can for my daughter.”

Trixie nodded at Mercer, who walked up and unlocked Mi Amore’s shackles.

“And so, you see Mr. Mercer, everypony has a price they will willingly accept… even for what they hoped never to sell,” said Trixie.

Comments

[DX-1118 C]

I bet the heart is the fire ruby, and that his real heart is somewhere hidden.
Ya know, cuz he's a genius who lives with a genius in a place if knowledge.