Pirates of Equestria: Dead Stallion's Chest

by The Phantom Joker

A Touch of Destiny

"Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea," said Applejack as Rainbow climbed aboard The Black Pearl.

"Yes to the first, yes to the second but only if we keep to the shallows as much as possible," said Rainbow, as Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara put her trademark black overcoat on her shoulders before snapping to attention.

"Uh, captain, that seems a little bit contradictory," said Applejack.

"I have faith in your reconciliatory navigation skills, AJ. Now then, where is that monkey, I really need to shoot something," said Rainbow.

“All right! Fine, take the stupid tiara!” screeched Dash from overhead as the shiny tiara dropped onto the deck. Diamond picked it up, gave it a spit-shine, and stuck it back onto her head.

Shining Armor approached Rainbow as the mare took aim at the monkey with her pistol. "Rainbow, Cadence is in danger," he said.

"Good grief, she certainly has an issue with not being in danger, doesn’t she? Have you by any chance ever thought about keeping a more watchful eye on her, maybe just lock her up somewhere," said Rainbow as she holstered her pistol and made her way to the ships helm.

"She is locked up, in a prison, bound to hang for helping you," said Shining Armor, following Rainbow as he spoke.

"You know, Shiny, there comes a time in one's life where one must take responsibility for one's mistakes," said Rainbow.

Shining Armor grabbed a crewpony's sword and aimed it at Rainbow. "I need that compass of yours, Rainbow. I must trade it for her freedom," he threatened.

Rainbow swatted the sword aside and walked up to Applejack. "Miss Applejack, it seems we have a need to, ahem, travel upriver," said Rainbow.

A worried look crossed Applejack’s face. "Er… by 'need' do you mean a 'trifling need' as in, say, a passing fancy?" asked Applejack.

"No, I mean ‘a resolute and unyielding need,’" said Rainbow.

"What we need to do is set sail for Port Royal with all haste," said Shining Armor.

Rainbow sighed. "Shining Armor... I’ll give you the compass, if you will help me to find this," said Rainbow, pulling out an old piece of cloth. On it was a drawing of a key.

"You want me to find this?" asked Shining Armor.

"Actually, no. You want you to find this. Because the finding of this may lead to discovering and/or locating the detecting of a way to save your girl, ol' What's-her-face… savvy?" said Rainbow.

Shining Armor took the cloth. "This... is going to save Cadence?" he asked.

"Well, that depends. How much do you four know about Spike Jones?" asked Rainbow.

Shining Armor thought about it for a moment. "Not much," he admitted.

"Then, yeah, it's going to save Cadence," Rainbow smiled.

Meanwhile, back at Port Royal…

A merchant vessel, The Edinburgh Trader, is getting ready to set sail. On the ships deck, a crewpony was buisy swabbing the deck. He stops when something catches his eye: a beautiful dress.

A few moments later…

The crewpony who found the dress was in the middle of a tug-of-war with another crewpony over the dress when the captain came out.

“Look, if you both want the dress, you’ll just have to share and wear it one after the other,” said the captain, a smirk appearing on his face.

“It’s not like that, sir. This ship is haunted,” said one of the crewponies.

“Oh, is it, now? And what say you?” the captain asked the Quartermaster.

“There’s an otherworldly presence among us, sir. Everypony can feel it,” replied the Quartermaster.

As the crew debated what exactly the spirit’s story was, a disguised Cadence smirked. 'One word to describe this crew: gullible'. she thought.

“You’re a bunch of superstitious goats and it’s gotten the better of you!” said the captain, taking the dress. “It looks to me that there’s a stowaway on board, a young mare by the looks of it. I want you to search the ship and find her. Now!”

“Aye, captain!” said the crew, before they and the disguised Cadence started searching.

Meanwhile, back with Rainbow Dash…

Rainbow Dash, Shining Armor, Applejack, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Scootaloo, and Cotton Fluff were all in a longboat going up a swampy river. Something didn't sit right with Shining Armor about Rainbow being terrified of the open water.

Time for some answers, thought Shining Armor. "Why is Rainbow afraid of the open ocean?" he asked Applejack.

"Well, if you believe in old pony’s tales, there's a beast that does the bidding of Spike Jones. With tentacles that'll suck your face clean off, and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness," said Applejack, pausing to let it hang in the air a moment before continuing.

“The kraken,” said Applejack. Rarity and Pinkie Pie gave each other a dark look at this as Applejack continued. “They say the smell of its breath is like...ooh… imagine: the last thing you’ll ever know on Faust’s green Earth is the roar of the kraken and the odor of a thousand rotting corpses… if you believe in old pony’s tales.”

"And the key will spare her this fate?" asked Shining Armor.

"Well, now that's the very question Rainbow wants answered. Badly enough to visit... her," said Applejack..

"Her?" said Shining Armor.

"Aye," said Applejack.

Later...

The longboat arrived at a small hut that seemed to be the sort of house that a voodoo sorceress would live in.

“No worries, everypony. Me and Zecora go way back, virtually inseparable we are… were… have been… before…” said Rainbow Dash.

“I’ll watch your back,” said Applejack.

“Actually, it’s my front that I’m worried about. Mind the boat,” said Rainbow.

“Mind the boat,” Applejack told Shining Armor.

“Mind the boat,” Shining Armor told Diamond Tiara.

“Mind the boat,” Diamond told Silver Spoon.

“Mind the boat,” Silver told Scootaloo.

“Mind the boat,” Scootaloo told Cotton Fluff.

“Brawk, mind the boat,” said Cotton Fluff’s parrot before flying off.

Inside the hut, a zebra sat at a table looking over something when a bell rang, announcing the arrival of Rainbow and her crew.

"Rainbow Dash," said the zebra at the table, looking up from her work.

"Zecora," said Rainbow.

"I had a feeling the wind would blow you back to me one day," said Zecora, before she saw Shining Armor. "You... you have a touch of... destiny about you... Shining...Armor."

"You know me?" asked Shining Armor, surprised.

"Ah... you want to know me," said Zecora.

"There will be no knowing here. We've come for help and we're not leaving without it. Besides, he’s engaged to another mare,” said Rainbow.

Zecora frowned. “Shame… I could’ve use some stallion companionship. Come,” said Zecora.

"Come," said Rainbow towards her crew.

Everyone sat down.

"So... what... service may I do you? You know I demand payment," said Zecora, switching from her mysterious persona to a harsher one.

"I happen to have brought payment! " said Rainbow. She whistled and a covered cage was brought forth.

Rainbow removed the covering to reveal Dash the monkey and pulled out her pistol. "Check it out," she said, shooting Dash the monkey, who had no apparent harm done to him. " An undead monkey! Beat that!"

Zecora took the cage and let the monkey out, who then made a bee-line directly into the back room.

“Freedom!” said Dash as he ran off.

Applejack winced. "Do you have any idea how long it took for us to catch him!?" she said.

"The payment is fair. So, what is it that you need?" said Zecora.

"We're looking for this," said Shining Armor, showing Zecora the cloth with the key on it. "And what it goes to."

Zecora looked at the cloth. "The compass you bartered from me. It cannot lead you to this?" she asked Rainbow.

Rainbow, who was examining a black feathered hat that she could’ve sworn she saw somewhere before. “Uh… no. Why do you ask?” said Rainbow.

Zecora smirked "Ahh... Rainbow Dash does not know what she wants! Or perhaps you do know, but are loath to claim it for your own? Your key go to a chest. And it's what lay inside the chest you seek... don't it?" said Zecora.

"What's in that chest?" asked Shining Armor, intrigued.

"You know of Spike Jones? A pony of the sea. A great sailor. Until, he ran afoul of that which vexes all stallions," said Zecora.

"What vexes all stallions?" asked Shining Armor.

Zecora gave him a coy smile. "What indeed?" she asked.

"The sea?" guessed Applejack.

"Sums?" guessed Silver.

"The dichotomy of Good and Evil," guessed Diamond.

Everyone looked at her.

"A mare," said Rainbow.

"A mare. He fell in love," said Zecora.

"No, the story I heard said it was the sea he fell in love with," said Applejack.

"Same story, different versions, and all are true. See, it was a mare. As harsh and untamable as the sea itself. Him never stopped loving her… and she never stopped loving him," said Zecora, a lonely look crossing her face for a moment.

"What... exactly did he put into the chest?" asked Shining Armor.

"Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of valuable nature?" guessed Silver.

"Nothing... bad, I hope?" said Diamond.

"His heart," said Zecora.

"Literally, or figuratively?" asked Diamond.

"Don’t be stupid, DT, he couldn't literally put his heart in a chest... er… could he?” said Silver.

"It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings. And so, he carved out his heart, locked it away in a chest, and hid the chest from the world. The key, he keep with him at all times," said Zecora.

Shining Armor stood up and glared at Rainbow Dash. "You knew this," he said.

"I did not. I didn't know where the key was. But, now we do. So, all that's left is to climb aboard The Flying Dutchman, grab the key, you return to Port Royal and save your bony lass, bada bing, bada boom," said Rainbow as she turned to leave.

Zecora stood up. "Let me see your hand," she said.

Very hesitantly, Rainbow Dash gave Zecora her hand. Zecora unwrapped the bandage on it to reveal a big, black spot.

Applejack gasped. "The Black Spot!" she said, before stamping her feet in a panic and spitting on the floor, before Silver and Diamond followed suit.

"Just for the record, my eyesight's just as good as ever," said Rainbow.

Zecora, meanwhile, was digging around in the back room.

"Keep it down, please," muttered a familiar female voice.

"Sorry," said Zecora.

Finally, Zecora came back out carrying a jar. "Spike Jones cannot make port, nor can he step on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe, Rainbow Dash. And so, you will carry land with you," she said, handing Rainbow the jar, which seemed to be full of dirt.

"Dirt. This is a jar of dirt," said Rainbow.

"Yes, and your point is?" said Zecora.

"Well, is the jar of dirt going to help?" asked Rainbow.

"If you don't want it, give it back," said Zecora.

"No," said Rainbow, holding the jar of dirt closer to her.

"Well, then it helps," said Zecora.

"It seems... we have a need to find The Flying Dutchman," said Shining Armor.

Zecora picked up bones of some kind. "A touch... of destiny," she said, spreading the bones.

Rainbow Dash pulled out her compass. It pointed in a direction and remained in that position, no matter which way she turn it. “Thank you. Come on, let’s go find The Flying Dutchman!” said Rainbow Dash.

As Rainbow Dash and her crew left, a loud yawn came from the back room. “What the-? Dash! You’re back!” said the female voice. Out of the back room came a female griffon. She wore black pants, black boots, a white shirt, a black overcoat with a buckled strap across it, and a belt that held a flintlock pistol and a sword. “So… who was just here?” asked Captain Gilda, putting her black feathered hat on.

“Rainbow Dash and some of her crew,” said Zecora.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I would’ve loved to see her… and run her through with my sword,” said Gilda.

“Patience, Gilda… your time will come. After you fulfill your end of the bargain,” said Zecora.

“Right… the bargain…” said Gilda.

Author's Note:

Drop a comment and drink up, me bronies, yo ho! An improved version of the chapter should be up soon,

Comments

[Evil-Lovieness]

I'm just gonna LAUGH at the end... also if a sequel comes out after this and Gilda has to save Rainbow's ass I'm gonna laugh so hard.

[The Phantom Joker]

4143433
Well, it just so happens that I'm gonna do the whole hog and do all 4 movies.

[detectivebrony]

“The kraken,” said Applejack. Rarity and Pinkie Pie gave each other a dark look at this as Applejack continued.

might want to fix that.