Chapter 7: Kale and Marshmallows
AFTER THAT WEIRD, beautiful night, I genuinely started to wonder whether I should tell people I had a girlfriend. How often do you just break out into song with someone? How could it not mean something? Or is that just what you get for hanging out with ponies?
All through work the next day, I played through the potential conversation with my mother over and over, trying to gauge the chance that my girlfriend's species would come up and how she would react if it did. I thought of asking Laurie whether she thought Peach and I were a unit now based on available evidence, but decided Laurie and I didn't have quite that kind of friendship. I also considered asking Peach herself, but I was afraid of what answer I might hear. I wasn't even sure whether I was more afraid of a 'yes' or a 'no'.
Like a shy kid waiting for a 'Do you like me' note back, I came home Saturday afternoon hoping for a note in my mailbox. Well, I got one, and a flier besides!
The flier was black ink on yellow and looked home-printed. "PONY FIELD TRIP", it proclaimed in a highly stylized font, flanked by pictures of a picket fence. Below were illustrations of pony heads―actual pony heads, I meant―no―god, it was confusing thinking about things these days. Miniature horses. What we used to call ponies. Fine-lined digital illustrations of heads with long muzzles and small, whiteless eyes.
"Curious what the word 'pony' used to mean? Join Red Rover and Uncle Clyde on Sunday, June 10th for a visit to Markowski Ranch in spacious Colts Neck, NJ. Rancher Janine Markowski will give a tour of this working ranch oriented toward pony guests. (Humans welcome too!) Followed by dinner near the shore at Red Bank's Siam Garden, or wander on your own and meet up later. $20 a head.” Below, it gave a phone number for reservations and directions for where to board the bus.
Paperclipped to it was a note from Peach. ''Red Rover was one of the first ponies on Earth! He's a vice president in Kellydell's touring company. I have to see Terran ponies, Pepper! Kellydell doesn't want to come, but George will. Will you come too?”
'Terran ponies' was another term for what we used to call just 'ponies'. The technical equivalent of 'Terran' was 'Fimmish'--from the initials of 'Friendship is Magic'--but normally people just used 'Equestrian', even though Equestria was only a part of FiMland.
So. Wow. This was tomorrow. I had the day off, though, and I had to admit it did sound fun. And I had been looking for something to do with Peach outside our apartments. The only thing that made me anxious was the prospect of being one of the only humans in a group of ponies. But as soon as I'd thought it, I grinned. Would that really be so terrible?
I went up to 412 and knocked. It would've felt better if I'd had a bouquet for her or something, but I couldn't bring surprises all the time. Just being there was enough, I hoped.
There was fumbling and clunking fom inside. Then silence. Then there was an open door and a smiling unicorn. “Pepper!”
“Sparky! How'd you know it was me?”
“I used the peephole!” She pointed to it. “But no one else ever visits, anyway, except Seaswell, and he comes to the window! The super came by a couple times, but I think he's satisfied that I'm settled in.”
I smiled. “And are you?”
Behind her, I saw what looked something like a fancy erector set, pieces lying everywhere. Girders and bolts and wheels... but I also recognized magnets of various shapes. There was a half-built structure in the middle.
“I'm doing all right,” said Peach hopefully. “Want to come in?”
I did. “I just wanted to let you know that I got your note, and I'm totally up for visiting that ranch tomorrow.”
She gasped. “Really?!”
Her exuberance was actually a little too much. “Sure! Why so surprised?”
“Well, because that's so nice of you to keep me company! And you've probably got better things to do than learn about Terran ponies.”
I shrugged. “Getting fresh air? Going down the shore, more or less? I could go for that.” I didn't know if I should mention this next part. “And besides, I'll get to be surrounded by real ponies! How cool is that?” Funny how what's 'real' had shifted so much in just two and a half years.
Peach raised an eyebrow. “That's a bonus for you?”
“Well, of course! It'll be almost like I'm in Equestria.”
Peach sat down. Then she stood up and went for her kitchenette. “Do you want something to eat?”
Oops. “Um, sure. Anything you've got would be fine.”
“I made spaghetti today! And I've got a spinach salad...”
“That sounds great. Uh... did I upset you just now? Mentioning Equestria?”
She looked over, her magic illuminating the refrigerator door and several objects coming out. “No! No, not at all. I guess I just thought if we were... getting into heavy territory, we might as well be comfortable.”
I went to the trusty ottoman and sat down. It was still cluttered, but one side was open, as if it had been waiting for me. “Heavy territory?”
She silently lifted spaghetti from a pan and laid it in a broad china bowl. Salad went in a smaller bowl. I idly wondered whether it was hygenic, lifting someone else's food with magic like that, but I couldn't think why it wouldn't be.
She added forks to each dish and passed them to me. “So,” she said. “You wish you could be in Equestria?”
So that was what this was about. “Not for keeps,” I decided. “But to visit, absolutely!”
Peach dished herself out smaller portions of salad and spaghetti and sat not far from me, on a cushion. “To be around more ponies?” she asked.
It sounded like she had some beef with me, but I wasn't sure what it was. “That, and to enjoy the different way of life. The controlled weather. The magic in the air.”
“Well, you won't get any of that with us tomorrow. Just us. Just the ponies.” She spoke matter-of-factly despite the spinach in her mouth.
“That's fine with me. Something wrong with that?”
She frowned and ate for a while in thought. Finally, she broke out with, “You know, it's one thing to try and figure out where you came from. It's another to... lose yourself in fantasies.”
I was getting a bit uncomfortable. “I'm sorry?”
Embarrassment came over her. “I'm sorry. I'm assuming too much. I'm just...” She looked down. “I'm still so new here.”
I wasn't quite sure what to say next, so I gave her some time. But I thought I understood what Peach was saying, so I decided to ask. “Are you saying I'm romanticizing ponies too much?”
She studied me. “Not exactly. I'm just... I guess I don't really see what you get from us. From my point of view, humans are like kale. Rich and full of nutrients... even if you are a little bitter.” She paused to see if I was following. “But ponies? We're like marshmallows. Or candy. Sweet and colorful and... kind of empty.”
It was breaking my heart to hear this. “Not even. Don't say that.”
She gave her head a meek little shake. “I'm not being self-hating or anything like that. I'm just saying it how I see it.”
“You are not empty.”
“I'm not talking about myself! I'm talking about... ponies in general!”
“So am I.” I actually had been thinking about Peach in particular, but the point stood. “There's so much we can learn from your society! There's so much we can learn from your magic! And that's just scratching the surface.”
“Magic that you gave us!” she shouted scornfully, rising to her hooves. “Society that works better than yours because you wanted it to!!”
“We didn't give you anything!” I retorted, spurred to anger by how ridiculous she was being.
“You might as well have!!”
I remembered her using that phrase before, in a similar context. --You are not children! --We might as well be!
“What does that mean?” I demanded. “We might as well have?”
She leaned forward and spoke more quietly. “Even if you didn't give us magic, or harmony, you gave it to the fictional world you created. And we're identical to that world.”
“But you're not that world!”
“And what does that matter, Ron? We're identical to an imaginary society that reflects your dreams. That means we reflect your dreams. It doesn't matter how we got them!”
“So is there something wrong with wanting to reflect on your dreams?”
“Maybe not, but there's sure something wrong with gazing into a mirror for hours and hours!”
I was dumbfounded. Did she really see things that way? I put my hands in my lap and sat there.
Soon, though, she walked up and put her chin on my shoulder. I inhaled sharply and she drew back. “Sorry, Pepper,” she said. “I don't know how we started yelling.”
I looked her in the eyes. “You feel pretty strong about this.”
“I guess I was just expecting you to tell me why I was wrong,” she replied.
I swallowed a lump. “You really think hanging out with ponies isn't good for us... us humans?”
“I don't know, Pepper. We haven't known each other that long. None of us have. Maybe it's the sort of thing that takes a lifetime to actually make a difference.”
A question occurred to me then, but instead of asking it, I took a bite of salad. When it didn't leave my thoughts, I asked it. “So I guess you think humans shouldn't marry ponies?”
She stared silently. “Um... I don't know. I honestly don't know, Pepper.”
“You don't think there's anything in you that we couldn't have come up with ourselves.”
“That's true. You know it's true, don't you?”
I didn't. I shook my head and set aside the rest of my food.
“I don't know what that means, though,” she went on. “We may be made from fragments of yourselves. I don't know if that means you can't grow and learn from us. But for me, it's hard to see how.”
“We learn from each other,” I pointed out, facing her. “People learn from other people. All the time.” I swallowed. “I think we even learn from ourselves.”
“We learn from our mistakes,” Peach argued. “We learn from when we interact with the outside world. That's not the same as learning from ourselves.”
“Even so. If I can learn from my own mistakes, and from the other people around me, then I can learn from ponies. How could you even think all this, Peach? Of course we're good for each other. We're the same and we're different and we can help each other.” I didn't know how else to say it, but it felt like my argument was obvious.
“Kale and marshmallows,” she said, peering at her spinach and spaghetti.
“It takes all kinds,” I came back.
She looked at me in surprise. “To do what?”
I gestured aimlessly. “To make a town. To get along. I just can't believe that spending time with ponies could be unhealthy.”
She whirled her tail. It was fascinating. I'd never seen her do that before and wondered what it meant. “Maybe it's not. I could be wrong! Anyway, it's only for a day.”
I smiled. “Are we done arguing?”
“Yeah, for now.”
I picked up my plate and took another bite of spaghetti. “You're pencilling in another argument for tomorrow?”
“Not if you don't want it!”
I let that linger while I finished my food, then walked over and put my dishes by the sink. “And to think when we met, you said you were having trouble making friends,” I teased.
“Pepper...” she chided.
“Yeah?”
“You know I wouldn't get into all this if we weren't good friends already.”
So that was what it meant to be this pony's friend? Debating all those metaphysical things I'd tried to avoid thinking about? “Yeah, I know.”
She levitated her own empty bowls to the sink and set them down. “But if you want out, that's fine.” There was just a little hint of pain in her voice. “We don't have to talk about what our species or worlds mean to each other. We can just be a couple of folks.”
I considered this. And I remembered that if she hadn't been a pony in the first place, I never would have introduced myself. “I can't do that to you,” I decided. “Whatever you want to talk about, Sparky. I'll listen.”
She exhaled into a little chuckle. “Thanks,” she whispered.
I walked back to the pile of mechanical bits on the floor. “So what's all this?”
Her mood seemed lighter. “It's a magnetics kit! Second Sight loaned it to me last week. You use it to create magnetic fields and do tricks with them.”
“Huh, okay! So what can you do with it?”
“Well, I can make an electric generator by loading magnets onto a spinning wheel...” She looked around the pile of parts, sifting through them magically. “Oh, I know what to show you!”
“Oh?”
She floated over a cushion, plopped down, and set to work. A square structure with an unfinished bottom was what she started with; she turned it upside-down and added to it. Eventually, she magically extracted some plastic tubes containing little black objects and emptied their contents into similar tubes in her structure.
“What are those, magnets?” I asked.
“Extremely strong ones,” she replied.
I watched her work for a while. It was clear that whatever she was making, she'd made before. I guessed she'd had to disassemble it to use some of the parts for something else. I enjoyed watching her work. It was fascinating to see when she chose to use her magic and when she decided to go with her hooves or teeth, but it was also just nice watching Peach Spark do something she cared about. If ponies really had 'special talents', whatever she was doing was clearly related to hers.
It was getting harder and harder to convince myself I didn't have a crush on her.
After ten minutes, she slid a square metal sheet into a slot with a satisfying click. “All right! It's done.”
I was sitting cross-legged by now. “So what are we looking at?”
“Watch and see!” She levitated a little metal wafer carefully into the hole on top and set it on a metal sheet, right in the middle. Then she gestured to a toggle switch on the machine's side. “Go ahead―turn it on!”
I did. There was a cross between a click and a clang. The little wafer floated up about an inch and hovered there... bobbling left, then right. It didn't touch the walls of the machine, or the metal sheet, or anything.
“Whoa! You're not doing that with magic?”
“Do you see my horn glowing?” Peach said smugly.
I sat forward and stared at the floating square through the clear plastic parts of the structure. “That's awesome! It's just magnets holding it up?”
“That's right! And check this out.”
She fumbled at a panel of toggle switches. It took her a few tries to flick the tiny switch with her hoof, and I wondered at the fact that she chose to use her hoof for it at all. Maybe she didn't want to dilute the impact of her machine by using magic at the critical moment. Whatever the case, as Peach fumbled with that switch, I found it adorable.
But when she finally caught it with the corner of her hoof, and the rectangle zoomed to one side and banged into the wall, sticking there while still floating above the plate...
That was downright sexy. I was watching an ungulate do advanced magnetics with her hooves! I didn't understand it, but the fact she didn't have any fingers actually made it sexier.
I tried to keep my attention on the floating wafer rather than on the pony behind it. She carefully clipped at another toggle, getting it on the second try, and the wafer sped into a corner, bouncing slightly against the wall as it slid along it.
Then she threw hoofwork to the wind and used magic to work several switches at once. The square went dancing. It was hypnotic in its tiny arena, zooming like a little flying saucer in curves and Z-shapes, occasionally rotating a little but mainly staying aligned with the walls of the machine. I was entranced. It was technology and art at once, on top of an attraction that had hit me out of the blue. I had trouble breathing. I was choking on my wonder.
“Yeeaah,” Peach drawled. “That's neat, isn't it?” Her voice was almost sultry.
My head snapped up. I scooted over to Peach's side of the machine and started working the controls. “My turn.” I even cracked a hint of a grin when Peach squealed.
Playing around with that floating square was definitely fun, but watching Peach do it was amazing. So I let her take over again and watched patiently. For a while.
Then the urge took me to cooperate―like a pony would, right? I took two of the four switches under my fingertips and assumed control, leaving Peach with the other two.
And that was something else. We laughed distracted, nervous little laughs as we flicked our switches, seizing control of the square and relinquishing it just as suddenly. Peach turned a knob that somehow slowed the wafer down, and we teased each other, pulling it as close as we could to 'our' sides of the cage without letting it touch the edge. Then we cooperated to draw it in a slow, jerky wobble from one side to the other, and then from one corner to the opposite one.
I grabbed a paperclip from the floor and dropped it in. Peach hooted in surprise. I'd imagined us doing battle with the two objects, or using the wafer to knock the paperclip around, but instead, the clip and the wafer snapped together instantly. I guess they were so magnetized they had no choice.
We looked at each other. Then I went for her switches, seizing control and turning everything off, then on again. She batted at my hands with her hooves and fought me with her magic, flicking at my switches in retaliation. Very quickly, we fell into a game in which I was trying to turn off all the switches, letting the wafer and paperclip float freely above the plate, which Peach was trying to turn them all on. We fumbled and fiddled and feinted and twisted around each other for what must have been a very intense thirty seconds, all our victories short-lived but all the more satisfying for it. We were both out of breath when Peach gave a powerful burst of magic, turned on all the switches, and switched off the power while she was ahead. With a sucking sound, the wafer and paperclip clattered to the metal plate, still together.
I sat back and exhaled. I didn't want to listen to it, but a little piece of my mind was telling me that that had been a lot like sex.
We hadn't said a word since the struggle started. Peach laughed breathlessly beside me. I scooted away, doing the same.
Then we looked at each other. “You don't fight a unicorn's magic,” she marveled. She'd said the same thing the other day, but then it had been chiding, teasing. Now, I heard the unspoken addendum: ...or so I thought, but wow, was I wrong.
It doesn't matter what her tone says, a voice in my head warned me. When a girl says no, she means no.
Oh, shut up, I told my internal voice. I smiled at Peach. “Is that so?”
She was embarrassed. Her mane was out of place, and she straightened it self-consciously. “I have to admit, I didn't expect it to go like that.”
“It's more fun when you don't expect it,” I said without thinking. Then my brain threw me what felt like the perfect follow-up. “So tell me. Was that kale, or marshmallows?”
Peach looked quickly between me and the machine, caught off guard. She blinked twice.
I sat back, folded my hands, and waited for her to answer.
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Take them horseback riding.
Oh my.
I would probably take them to devils tower, maybe see about a coal mine tour and take them to a buffalo ranch, maybe some shopping in rapid city and then walk around deadwood.
Goddamn it just kiss her already, its killing me! Peach needs to learn the lesson that humans have even less answers about themselves than she could have dreamed of. If we ever found out who created us, and they were even more screwed up than us, we definitely would just start throwing nukes or something.
As for taking a pony out, date or otherwise, definitely hitting an observatory. Let them see what stars really look like.
7# hummmm
I really like Peach, she's a very deep, well developed character. That said, I don't know if I'd want to spend all that much time with her, personally. I'm all for intelligent conversation, but when literally every meeting, regardless of how casual they may begin, turn into a philosophical debate...
Magnets: They're a lot like sex.
The "sexy" realizations feel a little out of place. I can understand her adorable actions adding up to attractive, but Pepper hasn't shown any particular physical attraction and then just jumps to her being sexy. After realizing some attraction, and after their little play-fight - when she's all tousled - maybe then.
Though I do like everything you're doing here. Thinking about if/when all this time with Peach makes her his girlfriend, and what that means for him and he friends... It's something you know I've spent a lot of time thinking about and I love seeing your take on it.
I'll answer that one later...
A magnetophile, huh...
But no, seriously I think he's way overthinking it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
I love seeing their relationship develop - whatever the nature of that relationship will ultimately be. You've done a good job building a good rapport and chemistry between them.
As for your question, I'm tempted to second Epicmanlymare22's response, but I feel I should come up with something more serious. I've always felt a good way to understand a new culture - and I suppose it's just as true of a new species - is to look at what they create, imagine, and dream about. As such, I'd likely take a pony to an art museum, a concert, or something like that.
Chapter seemed a bit...off to me, can't figure out why though.
And where to take my pony friend? Fishing. Plenty of lakes and rivers around my state and the fishing is usually good.
F*** Yeah!!!another chapter!!!
4249028 Washington?Minnesota?where do ya live...?
With me being a young pilot and all I'd take my pony friend flying. Especially if they're not a Pegasus. Let them see the view reach out the window and all that. I'd probably scare too by jerk the plan and "losing consciousness", then let the plane fall for a good 10-15 seconds, then "awaken" from my sleep and level the plane. imagine the screams I'd get from a pony who thinks they're about to die XD. And I can imagine that I get a few hooves in the side afterwards.
*peeks into room*
hello, anypony home?
*holds out tray of cupcakes*
I haven't seen any activity for nearly a month and was getting worried, so I brought cupcakes.
Hi folks! I am in fact working on Chapter 8! What can I say? I lost my groove in a tumult of stuff at the end of the school year, and this chapter is going to be a long one. I'm also making a revision to the beginning of Chapter 6. But in the meantime, if you didn't see it, I posted a song parody on my FiMfiction blog.
Let's take some comments.
4085516 There are many religious sects in which exclusion, not inclusion, is the rule, so that even if there isn't a specific rule against something unexpected (like a relationship with someone from a hitherto fictional species), you can bet on it being disallowed. Then again, if a fictional world turned out to be real, I imagine that alone would turn a lot of religion on its head. Some faiths would wither, others would morph, and new ones would be born. I imagine that just that is happening in the world of this story, but Ron is an agnostic who doesn't really follow that sort of thing.
4086017 I guess the next question is: What if a sorcerer cast a spell that made a whole farm's worth of ponies sapient, but left their appearance unchanged? And what if those ponies then learned to speak English and integrate, with varying levels of success, into society? How would you feel about humans having relations with them? Would you consider it personally? (Of course you don't have to answer.
)
And I rather agree about those stories. The Schaden plot wrapped up the mystery from the first story and was nicely chilling, but somehow I thought there was more to it than there was. And the scenes went on rather long. The fight between Chester and Praetor got tedious enough that I skimmed. But the tragic mistake near the end? That was INCREDIBLY powerful for me.
4087023 Yeah, you made me grin.
4087743 Awww, Pinkie crossed with Finding Nemo's Dory? Sad! And yeah, that game group sounds pretty dour. Sometimes in groups like that, there's one or two people who feel the same way and would enjoy hanging out on the side. Facebook is the devil? I feel like it might be a good tool for you to find the sort of company you need.
4093212 Thanks! I haven't read enough to really know what those cliches are, but I'm glad I'm somehow avoiding them! (Did you have any in particular in mind?)
4095082
I don't know! Probably it's that she doesn't know about the store's socioeconomic implications--she just likes all the neat furniture all over the place. That's cute, right?
4096785 I didn't, actually, but I heard about it later and now I wish I had.
( Food stamps are for winners! )>--
And I'm glad you think Peach is enigmatic.
That probably means she's interesting, right?
4151094 Heheh! Makes me want to imagine a pony watching Twin Peaks, actually.
4151964
4186227 Some good thoughts for sure!
4195723
4234486 I love the idea of an observatory. Let them contrast our night with Luna's! As for the idea that we don't have any of the answers? That may be a lesson Peach needs, but she won't accept it easily.
4234886 Duly noted!
4234992 I love you fact you chose Fluttershy's face to accompany that slogan. I can totally imagine her saying that and I don't know why!
4235156 Fair enough. It's certainly possible I made a misstep there. I was following my intuition rather than an outline.
(gratefully takes one)
4235792 I imagine Rainbow might be a nephalophile, actually.
4249028 Sorry! Maybe for the same reason as Shachza.
4251115 I live in Minnesota! I don't fish, but I love walking and biking around lakes.
4275506 Now that is an impressive, if controversial, answer!
4405470 Yay, cupcakes!!
4552343
Honestly, with what I know now, I'd probably be secretly cool with it but still awfully uncomfortable in public. Are we assuming that one of these ponies has taken an interest in us, in the interest of real exploration of this topic? I've actually considered a story idea along those lines. It would be in the same style as "Your Human and You" but feature a pony hiding among some horses on Earth (with some body modifications to make it possible). Because that would be the real question.
Intelligent horse likes you.
Yes or no?
I say a hesitant yes.
4552469
Just remember that "intuition" makes an "in" tu I and "ition"... Ummmmm... Never mind.
4552469 ah!I gotcha!Land of 10,000 lakes...
Peppers is WEIRD.
Still an interesting character, but 'THIS WAS A LOT LIKE SEX'.
Really? Playing games with a pony is somehow sexual?
Or does he mean it's exhilarating, and sex is exhilarating as well? If so, did he really have to compare it to sex?!
Something's up with him. Maybe not problems, necessarily, but he's got something.
I think a few others have already put it well: this is really cute, but Pepper sexualizing things is a tad annoying and distracting. And Peach's constant downtalking of her own culture is a little unrealistic. When someone spends time away from home and find themselves frustrated, they often become far more patriotic and defensive of their home culture than usual. It's odd to see Peach having problems on Earth and then acting like Equestria doesn't matter.
Tempting the barrier, right there.
But. An ungulate. Advanced magnetics. With hooves. Bloody hooves.
Kale, Author. Most definitely kale.
The difference between the TV Equestria and the real Equestria is like the different between a wax apple and a real apple. Both look like the real thing, perfect fruits ready to be eaten. But when you bit into the wax one all you get is a mouthful of awfulness. The real one though is filled with so much more then just how it looks. It has taste, texture, and subtleties of flavors you you couldn't really image until you had the real thing. Both may look real, but only one of them will feed you.
7551457
wow perfect example nice job with that one.