Rise of the Muscle Wizard.

by Ssendam the Masked

Side-Chapter: Fisting the Universe

One month before the arrival of Nightmare Moon

It was ready. The result of many, many months of stealing books, writing new books from what I plundered, all of that... all of my discoveries had led up to this simple formula. It was time to test out my theory, but before I could do that, I had to record what happened here for posterity's sake.

I dipped my quill pen in ink (I seriously miss ballpoints, or at least a fountain pen) and I began to write, in my neatest flowing script.

Concerning travel between universes.

I do admit, I am not of this world of candy-coloured equine beings, and I do not believe that they are of mine own world either. No, I do believe that my rather destructive entry into this world was to prove, or disprove, a fundamental theory of our universe:
The Multiverse Theory.
My existence here proves the fact that art could, in some way, initiate life- in other words, whatever work of fiction has ever been published, it has resulted in another universe being created to house it.

The question is, did somebody create this universe, or did they merely interpret a dream or a cretive idea inspired by this universe? That is a question that I am unable to answer. Sometimes, I feel as if this entire world is a work of fiction, and I am but a character dancing on strings for some malevolent author. Tis not outside the realm of possibility.

But this brings me to an important question: why this universe in particular? Why not one of the other, myriad fictional universes that MUST exist, if I am within this one? I do not know, but I must say this:

There is a way to travel between the universes. My own being here proves that. The question I asked myself was thus: how does one travel between these universes? Does one simply wish upon a star? Is it just chance and fate playing dice with the lives of mortals? I spit on these concepts. As a man of magic, I know that chance and fate, wily as they are, cannot directly interfere.

It took me far too long to figure out how I travelled between the planes of fiction and Earth: my gloves. Thus, I propose a theory that may shock many conventional physicists back on Earth. If they could read this, they'd call me mad, or at least stupid. I am neither of these things.

Worlds need a link for travel to occur. For that to happen, there must be a way to return to your own universe, and a way to keep staying there. Thus, I propose that there is a totem, or artifact, that enables one to travel between worlds. As befitting the multiverse theory, such a totem shall remain the same for anybody who wants it, and must maintain its shape. In other words, for it to work, its nature must remain constant. But this relic must rely on an outside force to pull one there, no?

I believe that my own artifacts, the gloves that granted me the power of my muscles, are one-way artifacts- in other words, unless I can find an artifact from my Earth, I can never leave this place. Still, I wish to see if my theory is correct, and I shall write in here whether or not my experiment was successful or not.

I set my quill aside, and picked up my home-made totem.

A dumbbell. I turned it over, ensuring that the arcane lettering was there, then I gathered my power. My muscles glowed a dark blue as I felt the very fabric of reality in my almost completed library-gym start to tear. I lifted my totem up in a mighty hand, and in a deep, echoing voice I spoke.
"I am the Muscle Wizard, Hugest of Huge! Those who pick up my dumbbell must seek the path to perfect hugeness! Summon me if you want to be able to perform glutes for the sloots!" I threw the dumbbell into the portal, and it functioned exactly as I thought it would: the portal to other worlds closed, and just before it closed, I saw that my totem 'split' into multiple images. I grinned. Just as planned.

I sat back down on the simple bench, chose a new quill, and continued.
My experiment has worked. The totem- a dumbbell- has split into many copies across the multiverse. Any being that finds my totem shall be able to summon me. Of course, I will be able to return to my own universe, and I shall not be going there exactly- rather, it shall be utilising the very magic in that world to make a 'phantom' of myself, so that I may be able to explore any worlds without fearing death or imprisonment overly.

Author's Note:

Muscle Wizard is up for a crossover if anybody wants him!

Comments

[Lag Incarnate]

Damn, if only I could write.

[Baraka Obama]

4205610 damn, if only I could write good stories (or come up with a plot for a story without totally ripping off another story)

[Requiem17]

... How I wish I could write such epicness. Unfortunately the second I would try would set my body ablaze in an unholy fire as I am unworthy and lacking of strength to write such a relic. Beware all that attempt to continue on such a legacy for it may drown you in its sheer prowess of mighty awesomeness.

[Blue Spark]

Ral Zarek is up for it, but I need to finish writing up the current chapter.
After though, he will gladly be of service.

[Azreal DuCain1]

I have a hard time imagining The Muscle Wizard in any other story. His hugeness is too huge to be contained by the hugeness of other worlds, which are not as huge as this one. HUGE!

[Classy Toad]

... I need to get my creative on. I'm thinking Miror B... Shunned by ponies for being to dan smooooth... (Pokémon XD - That's the game he comes from. He's the bad guy with the kickass jams. Also: he looks like your typical seventies groove artist, really thin)

Also: I think his tits are bigger then most women, oh damn. Chapter name: My tits are stronger!

[Whiteeyes]

He must HUGE the Multiverse. It is his HUGE Destiny! Huuuuuuuuuuge!

[Cog Archival]

I may have to borrow this guy for an omake or gag chapter at some point. Darn, April Fool's day is already past. Ah well, gives me plenty of time to work out something hilarious involving his Hugeness.

[FreedomFiend]

4205610
I know, being illiterate is terrible.
And by that, I mean "wd2edrfgrbjmykjlkjkhjgftvdrsd4tsy5ghjyunm,nv hwrWTNYRH"

[Zaralann]

Nice chapter!

[Dragonlover553]

So wait,does he need his gloves or not?

[ThatClosetBrony]

[youtube=n0wqhdZn4v0]
That is all.