Previous Chapters Next
Close
Fist Pump.1,540 words
Fist Cock1,178 words
Falcon... PAWNCH!1,102 words
Falcon KICK?!1,122 words
Side-Chapter: Fisting the Universe819 words
This is my swamp1,459 words

Falcon KICK?!

I rocketed after her, and decided to speed up the process a bit.
"Falcon KICK!"
My foot burst alight with magical fire and I shot forwards like a flaming cannon ball of sheer awesomeness. I eventually found my target, who was getting back up from the house that she'd been knocked into.
"A most impressive punch, wizard. But it takes more than that to harm the royal countenance."

I hmphed. She was a lot more durable then I'd given her credit for. She grinned. "I could use a being of your incredible physical strength-"

"Warlock... PUNCH!"

I gathered the dark energies of Ganondorf's rip-off attack, and let fly. Unfortunately, she dodged, and sent me flying with an uppercut. Grimacing, I focused magical energy into my rock-hard abs. I felt like I was flying with a difficult self-levitation spell. Then, I saw her take to the skies with me, flying on black wings that caused small thunderclaps. Huh, so they aren't JUST for show, are they?

"TAKE THIS!" Suddenly, she'd developed muscles. Oh boy. I brought my fists up, and we erupted into a blur of punches and blocks. The sound of our fight was eerily like the sputter of a machinegun of stupidity. Fist met forearm and forearm met fist. I needed an opening for my most powerful spell, and I found it. I grabbed an overextended haymaker, and threw her to the ground, attempting to remove her breastplate in the process. Unfortunately, it didn't work- it was apparently bolted to her skin or something. Still, I'd gotten the opening I wanted. I then focused.

After a LOT of training, I'd finally discovered how to undo the fundamental limits of the human brain. I called the spell 'Self-Improvement-' for obvious reasons, I refused to call it the Eight Gates. Even if it was kind of like that. Only problem was, it caused a mountain of stress and strain on my muscles and bones, practically cracking them. I almost died when I'd practised it.

This was going to be a big one. I grunted, my skin darkening as more and more blood pumped through my body. My eyes whited out with pure magical power, and I roared as the pain started coursing through my body. I then unleashed-
A punch.

But this was no normal punch- rather, this was the culmination of six months of hard work to invent. This was using all the magic I had to compress all of my ethreal might into pure, physical strength, and releasing it into the air. With that in mind, my punch caused a huge shockwave, in the shape of a tiger.

Nightmare Moon looked up wearily at the huge shockwave. She groaned, turning into her Pure Night form. No pure physical or magical attack could affect her in such a state, and this seemed to be a very crude basic projectile. Then, it compressed. She felt mildly curious about it, but then remembered that such an attack was unlikely to work.

"NOW!" I roared, pouring my heart and soul into it, "BURST FORTH, MY MUSCLES! AFTERNOON TIGER!!!!!!!!!"

With that, the huge tiger exploded in an immense release of air pressure, devastating the surrounding area. The resulting crater was at least twenty foot wide and the same measure deep. I dispelled my self-improvement spell, collapsing on the ground. "Oh God, that hurt like a bitch..."

Suddenly, I was blind-sided by the Nightmare. She was limping, and some of her armour clasps were looking a bit worse for wear, but other than that and a lot of scratches, she was fine. "WRETCH?! THOU DAREST TO STRIKE AT OUR PERSON?! KNOW YOUR PLACE!"

With that, she kicked me across town, into a gym. I picked myself up, spitting out a gobbet of blood. Wait, blood? Damn, I was getting completely trashed. Still, I WAS going up against a goddess, so there was that. Still, if I was in a gym... I smirked as I felt power flood into me. "Was that supposed to kill me? Because..." I forced myself to stand, every joint creaking, "I ain't done yet!"

Nightmare Moon looked at me disdainfully. "So, the brute still stands. Well, thy resolve is impressive, but unfortunately, thy wits are lacking if thou thinks that thou can beat me."

I grinned. "That's where you're wrong... I don't think that I can beat you, I KNOW I can beat you. There's a distinct difference, Princess." With that, she rushed in, but I blocked her. After that, I gripped her arm in a simple Chinese Burn.

"WHAT?!"
I grinned, fist surrounded by black magic. "Thanks for getting in range. WARLOCK..." I brought my fist back, gripping onto her outstretched arm. "PAWNCH?!" I let fly. It hit her in the solar plexus, causing all the wind in her lungs to go out and for her eyes to bulge. She rested on my fist for about a second, then the sheer, magical force of the attack came about.

The end result was seeing a dark alicorn of the night flying away at over a hundred miles an hour. I watched her depart with a cocky grin, then got to focusing what little magic I had left to retreating to my gym. Well, more like limped. Magic was reinforcing and helping me move easier, but I was in no state to even consider fighting anything else.

"Halt!"

Oh, dear sweet god.

I turned around. I vaguely recognised the purple one. Now, where had I met this mare before? Oh, yes, I'd met her in that hall. I snorted derisively at her noodle arms and untoned body. "What do you want? Can't you see that I'm limping?" Behind her was ohgodit'sthepinkone.

She seemed pretty pissed off with me. I couldn't blame the pink one. I HAD punched her through a building. "Uh, hey." She's still staring at me. I cleared my throat. "Listen, if it helps, I'm sorry about punching you into another building."

Still no response. The orange earth pony mare steps up. "What happened to you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What's it look like? I fought a goddess, and I got trashed for my troubles. Sent her flying towards my..." My eyes suddenly widen.

THe purple unicorn looks at me. "Flying towards where?"

"Towards my gym in the forest."

5,448 views

543

Previous Chapters Next

Comments ( 17 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 17
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Magthere

Magthere #1 · Apr 8th, 2014 · 2 · ·

10 bits says he'll need to fix his gym after these events... Edit: Or relocate it.

Seether00

Seether00 #2 · Apr 8th, 2014 · 5 · ·

Man, that sucks. Gym equipment is expensive. Have you seen how a Boxflex Treadclimber costs? Way too much!

Baraka Obama

Baraka Obama #3 · Apr 8th, 2014 · 18 · ·

Uh oh! My common sense is tingling!

Lag Incarnate

Lag Incarnate #4 · Apr 8th, 2014 · · ·

Well a whole manner of things could happen now, but I'll just wait. Can't rush muscles.

FreedomFiend

FreedomFiend #5 · Apr 8th, 2014 · · ·

It looks like he's gotten in good with my extended German family; cousin Holy, aunt Deep, and uncle Oscar "O." In case you didn't know, they're the Schitts.

Blue Spark