Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon reckon that having money and power makes them superior to other ponies. They are also not very fond of blank flanks, and relish in making life a misery for anypony who is yet to find their calling.
So when they meet a blank flank unicorn filly from Canterlot who thinks that having money and power is not all it's cracked up to be, they begin to defend their own opinions.
Things only escalate from there, and the two of them end up getting more than they bargained for.
Chapters (1)
I was wondering if someone was going to write a fic like this. Good show sir.
Yeah, so basically Luna used her own power to bully DT and SS into submission. Seems kinda, hypocritical?
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No, that's not it. She was wanting to make friends with them, but after the way they treated her she felt a life lesson was in order — using her own experience as an example.
3990944 Indeed. And bringing them to the moon and going all "Christmas Carol" on them also helped. I just doubt it that they would willingly change their minds so quickly, especially after what they said about Luna and considering their opinion on her.
. It just bugs me a little that's all.
Don't get me wrong, I liked the story and even thumbed it up
3990951
DT and SS want ponies to respect and envy them just as much as they (DT and SS) respect other wealthy ponies. But they can't exactly have that if they're acting like bitches all the time — which is the point Luna was trying to make.
She tried to tell them that what they were doing was wrong. They did not listen.
She then gave them a quick lesson on the differences between influence and power.
That point being made. The rest is, if you keep doing what your doing this is how it ends, perhaps not physically but emotionally. Then left them to make their own decisions. No orders, no threats just consequences. For my part that's not bullying it's teaching
Interesting read. It's not bad, but I really can't accept instant redemptions except in extreme cases - like, for example, the elements burning out the nightmare out of Luna.
BTW,
I guess there's a "be" missing after "would".
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First of all, thank you for pointing out that error. It's been fixed.
Secondly:
Who said anything about 'instant redemption'?
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The way I read it, Luna:
She speaks as if the problem was already solved, which I find strange. The way she interacted with Scootaloo in Sleepless in Ponyville, I would expect her to only give such certainty to Scootaloo if the problem was actually solved.
If she had said something about helping Scootaloo with her problem, but without declaring it solved - and, given the nature of the lesson, perhaps also asking Scootaloo to help DT and SS if they stumble along the path Luna set them - I believe the ending would have been clearer, and my earlier objection would never have arisen.
Dang it, first paragraph and you already had me laughing at that.
And then things started feeling so unnatural as the story continued. =(
Nothing felt natural.
Luna, taking pleasure seeing her young ponies in fear of her? I'd rather DT been further exaggerated and berated by the Dawning Dusk. It started out nice enough, even very comical with the way Silver opened up. But all they did was sit there as another approached as if on some mission.
And just as I'm starting to enjoy a moment of Luna sharing great wisdom... that ending happened. Sure, it still felt like Luna bullied, but it began to show that "tough love" that she can show from time to time. Those final parts cheapened the moral to non-existence.
I just have to say, that if you're going to attempt to enter that contest, something you could of done was have them let Dawn join in and follow them around for a day. The pegasus was from Canterlot, the fillies live in a small town and you had the right mentality to have them argue and such with Dawn throughout the fic, but as an observer and SHOW them the errors of their ways, not TELL them. Let Dawn experience and get to know them before making a firm opinion on somepony.
And I would not have included that last bit. Not in THAT way at the very least. I would of worked something in about how their words were creating monsters into the Dream Scape and causing others to be attacked in their dreams which she could not understand how and why they were occuring so frequently. DT and SS could of had severe traumatic effects on other foals (and one adult pony for giggles) and maybe make Diamond take responsibilities for all the monsters she'd unknowingly created within the minds of those she had bullied. Luna guiding them through each dream world and Diamond would do silly things to win back ponies' hearts to break the control the nightmares her bullying had on them, doing so begrudgingly, but feeling obligated to win back the respect of the Lunar Princess.
Imagine if you'd a gone for a darker story as well, discover that somepony even had a monster that was actually trying to convince them to kill herself and Luna had no power to even breakthrough to the child, something DT would have to confront in the real world, the filly probably breaking down after she breaks from her shock and refuses to believe DT and her monster breaks the barrier between realities, creating a small Dream Zone where only Diamond and the Filly now stand, Luna would only be able to give Diamond support by lending some of her Dream powers to Diamond.
HA. Well, you get the idea. I think I went a bit too far into potential Dream Eater Merry into that last part.
In case you don't know what that is:
This was not a story about Diamond or Silver, but of a pony who chose to forcefully change two antagonists. You technically didn't do anything with DT and SS' character. I read a story about an OC with overly knowledgeable fillies that even go so far as insult the princesses and speak of their credibility as rulers. You'd think they were in a college debate team.
Lastly, you never let them really have a say. I wanted to like this. Maybe someday, if you feel up to the challenge, you can attempt something closer to the show. And build up from there. Too bad, I really liked a couple parts too.
Best of luck in your next story.
I liked it!
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
May I suggest you extend this story by the order of at least two or three additional chapters? I agree with other readers regarding DT and SS most likely not being willing to change so quickly.
This would make a great "Chrismas Carol" style story, as alluded to by other readers.
Power; the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.
Oxford dictionary of English.
Awesome!
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Dat dead video.
There seems to be a bit where it looks like Diamond Tiara's talking to a clone of herself, or referring to herself twice.