• Member Since 12th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 16th, 2012

RagingBrony19983


I love MLP.

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Comments ( 5 )

I like it. Tracking.:heart:
Your plot is very good, but I have 2 things to say.
1: Working on punctuation and grammar.
2: It feels rushed, but that's a common problem every new author has. Even I'm still working on it.:pinkiesmile:

Muffins to you, my friend. :derpytongue2:

man i was starting to get worried that pinkie was gonna be dead :twilightblush:

Hm...

Okay...

So!

There were multiple punctuation errors, such as not using commas in places, and a few semicolons where there were supposed to be apostrophes, but other than that, punctuation was fine.

Also, you used some words wrong, like "braking" the sound barrier (Breaking is the right word) and they were staying "her" (here).

And some other random slip-ups probably caused by accidentally hitting the wrong key. I'm tracking and upvoting.

Nice... Plenty of typos, though. If you need a hand with that, let me know.

I like it, but as Winkee said, a bit of constructive criticism. I'm not partial to the whole ponies are all lesbian thing but whatever floats uour boat. :unsuresweetie:

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