Shadows of the Past

by Double Rainbow

Chapter 1: What Cannot Be Undone

Flash stirred in his sleep, then jolted awake and sat up. He was sweating all over his pillows and sheets. Another nightmare. He thought to himself. When will they stop?

Flash recalled his dreams like it just happened yesterday, where he had ruthlessly killed the Captain of the Royal Guard. It haunted him through the day and while he slept, reliving the memories through his dreams, only to wake up holding his pillow in a headlock.

It was now 3 days from the incident. Flash breathed in and exhaled, then rolled out of bed. He didn't care what time it was, he was well aware that if he went back to sleep, he would be put right back into the imaginary fight for his life. Which he didn't want to re-live anymore.

Flash slumped over to his mirror tiredly. After he killed Captain Jagged Wing, he was suspended from guard duty and had a date to attend a Royal Court where the Princesses of Equestria would decide his fate based on hearings from other ponies and Flash himself, and the court date was today.

I'm either going to be jailed or expelled from the Royal Guard. Flash thought grimly.

Flash stared at his reflection. He looked worse than normal. His hair was a total mess, his fur was dark with sweat. Flash sighed and went to the bathroom to shower. He didn't care how long he was in there for. He just wanted his worries to disappear.

As the warm water splashed over Flash he began to break down in tears, "Oh Celestia, what have I done with my life? All my years of serving are going to be for nothing! No amount of ribbons, medals, or reputation will help me now! I'm done for!" Flash cried through the water.

Flash finished his shower, dried himself off, and headed back to his mirror. I feel like my reflection is my only friend. Flash darkly thought as he stared at his mirror image. Ever since the "incident", Flash was completely ignored, all ponies from every corner of the Castle and beyond avoided him out of fear. At breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he sat alone.

Flash sat back down on his bed, still in tears, he curled up and began to fully cry. All I want is someone to talk to. Just, a friend, but all of them are gone. Even Twilight is afraid of me now. I don't deserve to live! Flash cried through his thoughts. Flash didn't bother putting on a jacket in the cold morning air, he burst out of his room and ran down the hallway.

As Flash passed one of the newer guards, he called out to him, "Flash Sentry! Sir! Where are you going?"

Flash ignored him, Why should you care? Nopony else does! he thought as he ran on. The guard began to chase after him, "Flash Sentry! Wait up!" He called after him.

Flash ran to the nearest balcony, and when he arrive, he looked over the edge, I hope you all enjoy life without me! Since you obviously don't care! Flash thought to himself, then he leaped off the edge. As the guard behind his skidded to the edge he saw the orange body fall to the ground.

"FLASH SENTRY!"

The guard dived after Flash, soaring fast, since Flash wasn't flapping his wings at all, the guard could catch up the Flash quickly, and it helped that the guard's armor weighed him down with made him fall faster.

The guard scooped Flash out of the sky and back up to the balcony, when finally let go, Flash stomped around the guard, "Why did you do that?" He asked sharply.

"B-But sir. You were going to kill yourself. I'm not going to sit idly by and watch." The puzzled guard responded.

"Well maybe I just wanted to die. It's my business why I do, so leave me alone!" Flash yelled and stomped off.

The guard stood on the balcony for a few moments, staring at Flash, completely baffled at what he just hear, he ran off to tell someone.

Flash stomped back to his room and slammed the door shut. Angered, he laid back down and drifted back to sleep.

Knocking jarred Flash from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and peered at his clock. 6 o'clock in the morning. Wow I actually had a good sleep for a few hours. At least until whoever woke me! Flash thought to himself.

The knocking came a second time, "I'm coming, I'm coming hang on." Flash called out. When he opened the door, he was met by three ponies. His two friends, Dust and Night Breeze, and behind them was the guard Flash met earlier.

"Flash! What the buck are you thinking? Why did you try to commit suicide?!" Night Breeze yelled at Flash with worried eyes.

Flash stuck hoof at the guard behind then, "You..." He started angrily. "I told you that it was none of you business! What do you not understand about that!" Flash lunged at him but Dust and Night Breeze blocked him.

"Flash! What has gotten into you! Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?" Dust questioned Flash.

Flash struggled for a bit and was thrown back by his Dust and Night Breeze. "Because nopony cares about me anymore! Everypony is avoiding me! I've been suspended for doing what I love most, and I just killed our Captain! How do you expect me to feel?" Flash yelled back, beginning to tear.

Dust and Night Breeze flashed looks at each other, then back to Flash. They walked over to him, "Flash..." Dust began.

"No! Don't try to tell me otherwise! I know you're avoiding me because you don't want me anymore!" Flash cut off.

"What?" Dust gave Night Breeze a confused look. "Why would we ever do that Flash? We never ignored you, we were just extremely busy fixing everything up after the - uh - 'incident'." Dust told Flash.

Flash glared at him, "You and I both know that's not true! Stop trying to convince me otherwise!" he shouted, tears beginning to well in his eyes.

Night Breeze stepped forward, "It is true Flash. We weren't ignoring you. Why didn't you come talk to us? Instead of sitting here crying, or trying to commit suicide! Flash, this isn't you. You'll usually full of pride and walk with your head high, but this - this just isn't you. Flash - how are you feeling?"

Flash flashed his eyes over to Night Breeze, "How am I feeling Night Breeze? I don't know, I just personally murdered the Captain of the Royal Guard, and now was avoided by everypony under the sun? I keep having nightmares about the fight with the Captain with nopony to talk to? I guess I'm a little depressed!" Flash cried out.

"Flash, we didn't know. Dawn Light had to tell us." Night Breeze pointed to the guard who was still standing at the door.

"Hi." Dawn Light called from the doorway.

Flash wasn't convinced, "I don't care. Nopony cares about me anymore." He retorted

"No Flash. We do care. If nopony cared about you, why did Dawn save you." Night Breeze asked.

Flash was stumbled by this, and stayed quiet. "That's what I thought." Night Breeze commented, "Flash, if you need to talk to us, we are here for you. You know where we are. Just knock." Night Breeze soothed.

Flash nodded and went to his bed and laid down. Maybe I should just stop sulking and get out of this room. Not to commit suicide this time. As the three ponies closed the door and left Flash in silence again, he quickly got up and walked over to the window near his bed. He gazed out at the gorgeous green hills and beautiful sunrise. Along with that he could faintly hear birds chirping. All the sounds put Flash at peace.

Why can't I just be normal again? He wondered. Why have I become this way. He sighed. He really never wanted this day to come. The day where he could lose everything he worked for. Flash then walked over to his closet and opened it.

Inside was his armor. The helmet nice and polished, the body frame still partially bloody from his fight. The thought made Flash shiver. To the right of his armor was his Royal Guard Uniform. A uniform similar to the Wonderbolts', but instead of blue it was white, and the Wonderbolts' iconic bolt logo was replaced with a shield and blue star.

Flash slipped into the uniform, buttoned on his ribbons and stars, then went to stand in front of his mirror. He gazed at himself, nicely combed mane, his fur was clean and flat against his body. Flash then grabbed one of the Royal Guard logos, and moved it a bit, to put it back into place from not wearing it for days.

He then lifted his right hoof, and inspected his rank that was sewn onto the uniform. Senior Royal Guard. It made Flash beam with pride, which is something he hadn't felt in days. Flash cracked a smile, then inspected his rank on the other side of his uniform.

Flash then posed in the mirror, he liked the way he looked. So he headed out of his room and trotted down the great halls of the Canterlot Castle to the castle garden. When Flash arrived he saw two guard ponies standing near him, and they inched away.

"Hey guys." Flash called out cheerfully. The two guards exchanged glances and then back at Flash, "Hi." One called back.

Flash trotted over to the edge of the garden. The outdoor garden overlooked the town side of Canterlot, while the indoor one had you staring at mountains. On this one you could even see the ponies walking on the streets below, but still high enough where you couldn't hear the sounds of the city life, and have some peace and quiet.

The guard ponies walked up to Flash, one on each of Flash's sides. "Are you ok?" One asked him.

"Just fine. Why?" Flash asked. The guards exchanged another glance. Then one put a hoof on Flash's shoulder, "Because we're worried about you, since you tried to kill yourself earlier this morning. We just don't want anything to happen to you. A lot of the guard ponies would agree with me." He told Flash.

Flash looked at the guard with clouded eyes. I guess these ponies really do care about me, and it was just me not wanting to talk to anypony. He concluded in his mind. "I know. I just wanted some fresh air, I appreciate the concern."

The guard nodded and the two ponies backed away from Flash and returned to their positions. Everything was going just fine. Flash actually felt at peace.

At least until the memories started coming back.

Flash began recalling the horrific memory of his fight with Jagged Wing. Flash put his hooves on the side of his head and rubbed his temples viciously, No, no it was going so well. He moaned through his thoughts.

The memories flooded every thought he had, and Flash mentally couldn't take the stress.

In a few fast moments, Flash felt his legs buckle, his heart raced and his vision began to fade. In the background he heard his name being called, "Flash! SIR!" He heard. He began to faintly see a pony's hooves grabbing him before Flash completely blacked out.

~

Flash awoke lazily, unsure of where he was. He had an oxygen mask on his muzzle and all kinds of wires attached to him. Wha - What's going on? He wondered to himself. Where am I? He looked down at his body, only to noticed that he no longer had his Royal Guard Uniform on, but instead was replaced with a white apron.

Flash drowsily looked around the polished white room, not a pony in sight. At least until the door knob shook, then turned, and a pony walked in.

"Ah you're finally awake." The pony broke the silence.

Flash tried to sit up, but only fell back down again due to his dizziness and exhaustion. The pony rushed over to his side and put a hoof on his chest, "Hold on there sport, you're in no condition to leave. At least until we think you can handle yourself on your own." He told Flash as he took off his oxygen mask.

Flash stared at the pony, "Who are you? Where am I? What happened?" He questioned the pony quickly.

The pony smiled, "I am Doctor Malace. You're in the Canterlot Hospital after you collapsed in the castle garden. We think you had a severe anxiety attack and caused to you black out, you've been unconscious for six hours." Doctor Malace responded.

Flash couldn't believe what he had just heard, "A - An anxiety attack?" Flash said in disbelief.

"Yes sir. An anxiety attack. It was lucky that somepony found you and brought you here, or the consequences could have been a lot worse." The Doctor stated. "Do you know why you would have one?" He asked.

Flash stared at him, "No, sorry." He lied. Flash knew exactly why he had the anxiety attack, but didn't want to say it. "So, when am I able to leave?"

The doctor looked at him grimly, "Well when you first came in your heart rate was through the roof, so we want to make sure that all your body functions are stable. We had trouble just getting you on the bed, you kept thrashing about." The doctor turned to the monitor displaying Flash's heart rate.

"So far so good. If it keeps up, you should be able to go soon. For now, why don't you try getting up, slowly. I'm sure your fully awake by now." He told Flash.

Flash slowly tried to sit up. He felt a little dizzy, but not as dizzy as before. He sat up fully and then began to detach all the wires on him, then proceeded to slide out of the bed and onto his unstable hooves. The doctor held him all the way, but even with his support, Flash's unsure hoof placement made one of his legs collapse, but he regained his balance.

Flash breathed in and exhaled, then began to walk slowly. He got faster and faster, and had his balance back in minutes, and the doctor no longer needed to hold onto him. Flash was able to walk, and trot around the small white room.

"Well." The doctor began. "I wasn't expecting you to recover so quickly. How do you feel?" He asked Flash.

Flash stopped walking around and looked the doctor, "Fine. I was dizzy before, but not anymore." He told him.

The doctor nodded, looked at the heart beat monitor, then looked back at Flash, "I guess you are free to go home then. Your clothes are in the closet over there." He pointed a hoof to a wooden closet near his bed. "I'll give you some privacy." With that, the doctor left the room, and Flash was alone again.

Flash slipped back into his Royal Guard Uniform and opened the door of his room. The doctor nodded to him and began to walk off. "Er - Doctor!" He called out. The doctor turned around. "I just want to say, thanks." He told him. The doctor smiled and walked down the hallway. Flash then headed in the opposite direction to the main lobby.

When he entered the main lobby, he was met with the two guard ponies who brought him to the hospital. When they saw him, they both stood up and walked over to him.

"Are you ok sir?" One of them asked. Flash nodded, "Thanks to both of you I am. I owe you my life. Thank you." He told them.

The guards nodded, "Guess we ought to go home then sir. We'll escort you to your room back at the castle." The other guard said.

Flash nodded his thanks, and the two guard ponies lead the way out of the hospital and on the street. When Flash walked out of the hospital, he was stunned by the amount of ponies who had gathered to learn about the Royal Guard who had collapsed in the castle and sent to the hospital.

Camera flashes stunned Flash, and he put a hoof over his eyes, "Ugh, guys could you stop with the pictures?" He pleaded.

One of the guard ponies stepped up and boomed his voice throughout the street, "Do NOT take any flash photography of us! Anypony that does will be detained!" He called out. With those words all cameras were pointed down.

"Thank you." Flash whispered in the guards ear. He nodded, and the three ponies continued their walk back to the hospital.

Upon reaching the castle the usual two guards standing at the entrance gate nodded and one looked at Flash, smiled, and said, "Welcome back sir." Flash smiled and replied, "Thank you."

Flash followed the guards up to his room, upon the way saying thank you to guards who responded, "Welcome back sir."

When Flash got to his room, he nodded to the guards his thanks and they walked off. Flash opened the door and turned on the lights in his unusually dark room. When the lights flickered on he was greeted with an unexpected surprise. A lot of the guard ponies Flash knew were standing in the room, at once, they all shouted, "WELCOME BACK FLASH!"

Flash couldn't help but smile. I guess this seals the deal that they do care about me. "What?" He began. "What did you do this for?"

Night Breeze walked up to him, "To celebrate you coming back from the hospital! You gave us all a good scare there man! The news of your accident spread like wildfire throughout Canterlot!" He told him. Excitement bursting in his voice.

Flush smiled at hit, "Well thanks guys. This really means a lot to me." Night Breeze smiled and leaned into him, "I guess we do care about you Flash." He whispered. Flash nodded at him, "I care about you guys too." He whispered back. Night Breeze turned around to the crowd of ponies in Flash's room, "Let's celebrate! Woo hoo!"

With that, every pony in the room began talking to their friends and drinking drinks, laughing, and just having a good time. Flash walked around with a glass of water. Happy with how many ponies actually cared about him. He smiled happily. Dust and Night Breeze came over to Flash eventually sat down next to him and began talking.

"So you enjoy it Flash?" Dust started. Flash nodded, "Can't thank you guys enough. This really helps my situation."

Night Breeze nodded, "That was the point. We all care about you Flash. You may not know, but to a lot of the new guys, you're a bucking role-model. They look up to you." He told Flash.

Flash looked at Night Breeze in astonishment, "Really?" Flash knew he was independent, but other ponies look up to him? He couldn't believe it. It made him gleam with pride.

Flash smiled at his friends, "Thanks a lot guys, but you should get going. We do have a court later today. In an hour to be exact." Flash said as he looked at the clock which told him it was 12:04 in the afternoon.

As the party ended and the ponies cleared out of Flash's room, Flash was relieved that he had time to himself again. That was really nice of the Dust and Night Breeze to do that. He thought to himself.

About 5 minutes after the last pony was gone, a knock was at the door. Flash walked over to the door and when he opened it, he met the one pony he was not expecting. Princess Twilight.

"Uh - Hi." He stuttered. Twilight smiled at his humility. Flashed looked stunned. Well, I may be troubled, but she still looks beautiful. This better not happen again. I don't need anything else to go against me later today. He panicked.

Twilight smiled at Flash, "I heard about what happened. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. I miss my guard pony." She told him.

Flash gulped and blushed, She missed - wait WHAT?! Flash screamed in his mind. He blushed, "Um, thanks Princess. You probably noticed I couldn't show up for the past few days and I assume you know why." He said.

Twilight nodded, "Flash. I want you to know I will do everything I can to help you this afternoon. I know that what went on between you and the Captain was not your fault." She soothed.

Flash looked up into her eyes, "Thanks, Twilight. That means a lot. I've been struggling recently. As you've also heard."

Twilight nodded grimly, "Yes. I know what happened, and I don't care. I'm just glad you're ok. A lot of the guard ponies look up to you Flash. You're a role-model for those in, and outside the Royal Guard. When ponies heard about your anxiety attack, everypony wanted to know if you were going to make it. Not to mention I got flooded with the press asking about my reaction to this." Twilight giggled.

Flash blushed, "Well. Thanks, that really helps." He told her.

Twilight looked at Flash, "Well. I'm just glad you’re all better. I was so worried about you." She said as she closed the distance and hugged Flash.

Is she...GAH! Flash couldn't believe what was happening. I'm really starting to think she likes me as much as I like her. Flash thought to himself.

Flash began to stroke Twilight's mane gently, as she began to sob on his shoulder. "I just was so worried at the thought you could die!" She cried. Well that just added to my theory. Flash concluded in his mind.

Flash backed away from Twilight, "Twilight, I'm ok. No need for tears." He smiled at her. "Still the most beautiful princess in Equestria." Oh Celestia did I just say that? Buck me.

Twilight's cheeks turn hot pink. "Thanks, Flash." She looked at him through teary eyes. "I need to go now. We are prepping the court, and Flash. Shine brighter than a shooting star." She told him, smiling.

Flash nodded. When Twilight left and the door was shut, Flash leaped onto his bed and closed his eyes. What could be more perfect? I secretly love a princess when I'm not allowed to but what if she loves me back? Will they allow it? Flash thought as he tossed and turned as usual.

He looked at the clock. 12:35 PM. Flash sighed. The next few hours were going to be the hardest in his life. Flash knew he was going to have to fight for his right to be a Senior Royal Guard. He worked his whole life to earn this position and title, he wasn't about to lose it.

Flash trotted around his room nervously for a while, at least for 10 minutes until he calmed down. It was less than 20 minutes when Flash decided to go down early. He made sure his Royal Guard Uniform was in tip-top shape, and headed out. On his way to the courtroom, every guard he passed saluted him.

Flash eyed them curiously. What are they saluting me for? I'm not Captain. He wondered. When he approached the large courtroom doors, he was met by two guards, both saluted him. Then told him he could not enter yet.

"Why not?" Flash asked them.

"Because you haven't been called in yet, sir."

"Well when will that be?"

The guard shook his head, "I can't give you an exact time sir. Sorry."

Flash frowned and sat down. He sighed. This was the moment of truth. Whether he would stay in the Royal Guard or not. He hoped that he would be at least not thrown in jail, for Flash feared the worst.

Flash could hear Celestia's voice boom from inside the courtroom. "Attention all attendees. The court is now in session! Let the accused be brought in!" Her voice echoed through the massive room.

Flash sighed, and the two guard walked over to him. "Are you ready sir?" One asked.

Flash nodded, "More than ever." He gazed ahead, eyes beaming with pride. It was his time to shine.

The massive doors in front of him glowed with a yellow aura, indicating that Celestia was opening them. As they swung open, Flash walked forward. On his left was most of the Royal Guard. On the right were citizens of Equestria. In front of his podium were three others, each of the Princesses behind it Flash caught a glimpse of Twilight giving him a soft nod. Flash gulped. He nervously shuffled towards his podium.

Some citizens booed him as he walked over. One even shouted, "Murderer!" at him. Flash sulked. Thanks. That's what I need. Flash thought of what Twilight had told him, Shine brighter than a shooting star. Flash raised his head, showing his pride.

Flash sat down at his podium in front of Celestia. He stared up at her, and she rested her gaze upon him.

"This court is now in session!" Celestia called out as she slammed her gavel down on her podium. A guard then stepped in front of Celestia and raised his right hoof, "All parties raise your right hoof." He began.

This was the moment Flash had been waiting for. His time to shine, and prove he was worthy to stay in the Castle as a Senior Royal Guard.

Author's Note:

You all probably know why I put the "Dark" tag on the story. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy the second chapter in the series, I know I enjoyed it. This has made me realize how much I love writing. Sorry I made it a cliff-hanger, ran out of time!

Comments

[Darth Redbeard]

Write more when you get the chance. I have a feeling that this story will be great. And I don't need the force to tell me that.

[SageBrony07]

I like this story. Get the next chapter up soon please. I can't wait to read it. I hope this has a romance tag.

[stitchfan93]

When will u update? I want to read MORE!

[Double Rainbow]

4033741 I post the newest chapter every Friday! At least thats my usual deadline and will only not post if life gets in the way. I'm very happy you all like my stories!

[Glitter101]

Well duuuhhh your story is great. I can't wait to see what happens!!!!

[stitchfan93]

4034178 No problem. Your stories are awesome! Can't wait to read the new chapter then!

[Gearboxwithacigar]

i love that your going on in this story, keep up the great work