• Published 23rd Feb 2014
  • 1,770 Views, 54 Comments

A Dandy Crusade - divinearcadia



What happens when Space Dandy, the galaxy's suavest, good looking and sharp dressed man ends up on Equestria after an incident with his hyper drive? Well... lets just hope he doesn't do anything he'll regret later...

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Three Little Fillies and a Pocket Full of Misery, Baby

Author's Note:

Now with four hundred percent more explosives :pinkiecrazy:

Three fillies and a pocket full of misery, baby...

The silence that engulfed the library was startling to Celestia. It wasn't the silence of shock, fear, astonishment or any other sudden emotions. No, it was the silence of sentient minds simply unable or unwilling to comprehend what they had just heard. It took a little bit of time, but Celestia's proclamation finally reached their subconscious minds and they reacted on some instinctual level to her words: Fluttershy tried her absolute best to become an inanimate version of herself, Rarity began to grind her horn into the wooden floor of the library with a look of bizarre fury accompanied by an incredibly unladylike grunting, Applejack began to eat her hat with a wide grin, Rainbow Dash felt it necessary to fly around in fast circles above Applejack, Twilight's eyes began to dilate as her mind attempted to incorporate this new piece of information into her world-view and Pinkie Pie simply smiled a knowing smile as she patted Celestia's shoulder as if she knew exactly what she was going through.

Celestia really wasn't sure if she should let this sudden bout of madness run its course or not, but time was of the essence in dealing with Dandy and his unique nature. With a sigh, Celestia rubbed the back of her head through her flowing mane and muttered Discord's name with only the slightest feeling of remorse. A few seconds later, she felt his uniquely oily brand of magic ripple through the ether as he appeared roughly in the middle of the Element bearers.

“Why, Celestia...” he began, only to trail off as he noticed the usually collected ponies and seemed to draw in on himself. “What's this?”

“Well...” she said lamely before explaining what had happened, leaving the embodiment of chaos with a look of incredulity. “So that's about the gist of everything. Could you maybe help out here a bit? We need to get moving sooner rather than later.”

“What? Just so you can hunt down your lover boy? Who, might I add, always manages to show up when the buffet is refreshed and takes off with the best bits.”

“Oh, come on, Discord,” Celestia retorted hotly. “Just because Dandy always takes the pudding skin doesn't make him a bad guy. Why do only you two like pudding skin anyways? I mean, it's not even that great!”

“That's beside the point!” Discord pouted. “It's the principle of the thing.”

“Wait... There's a principle to pudding skin?”

“What? No!” Discord said in utter confusion. “Why would pudding skin have principle?”

“Oh, sorry Discord,” she apologized for the strange turn in conversation. “I'm kinda half panicking right now since three fillies were just transported into space and likely another dimension entirely if Dandy initiates his hyper-drive, plus we have no idea what may or may not happen with them and Dandy. We all know how absurd their antics can get without outside influence, so I'm sure you know why we need to get them back as soon as possible, right?”

“Right. I really don't want to deal with those ripples of chaos,” Discord said with a sigh. Even a god had his limits after all. “So... what exactly am I supposed to do here?”

“I don't know,” Celestia said honestly. “Help them cope with the fact that I'm engaged maybe? That would be a start.”

“Fine...” Discord sighed. He walked around slapping first Rarity, then Applejack, then Twilight. As he came to Fluttershy, he opted to gently shake her instead of slapping her back to reality. As Applejack staggered away, Rainbow Dash began to buzz around Discord's head; he reached up, grabbed her by the face and shook her vigorously before letting her stumble away on shaky hooves. Pinkie, meanwhile, had stopped patting Celestia's shoulder, and now stood slightly apart from the others, patiently awaiting her slapping.

“Everypony back to normal?” He asked the dazed ponies, who responded with various affirmatives and silent promises of retribution. “Well... You heard it straight from the horse's mouth. Celestia's engaged. She has been for a couple millennia now, though I'm sure there's a statute of limitations on that sort of thing...”

“There is no such thing, Discord!” Celestia half shouted. “That's not even funny! That's just plain mean!”

“And Dandy's a pudding skin stealing d-bag,” Discord deadpanned before winking out of existence.

“Whut?” Applejack said succinctly.

“Ummm...” Rarity mumbled before regaining some semblance of a working mind. “Princess... You said that you... and he... were engaged?”

“You are correct, Rarity,” Celestia replied.

“How does that even work?” Rainbow said as she tenderly rubbed her brightly glowing cheek. “We never even heard about him courting you.”

“Well, it did happen quite a while ago...” Celestia said as she blushed slightly.

“Exactly how long ago are we talking about here?” Twilight asked.

“Roughly three thousand years ago?” she said sheepishly.

Twilight gave Celestia her most incredulous look. “So... basically, your fiance of three thousand years decided to show up without so much as a word of warning, didn't even say 'hi' to you and decided to foalnap three fillies? He seems like a pretty big jerk to me.”

“Oh Twilight, you don't know the whole story or even who he is. I don't think anypony, or most sentient life could understand him completely.”

“Please enlighten us then.”

“We can't afford the time right now, Twilight, though I'll gladly tell you all about how we met and our story on your journey. But for right now, we have to get to the castle and get you adjusted to the ship as soon as possible.”

“Ship?” Applejack said slightly nervously.

“Not a ship like you know it,” Celestia said with a slightly proud smile. “This is my ship. Let me show you girls my Ku'uipo.”

***

Once the group of slightly distressed but driven ponies had gathered around Celestia for a long range teleportation, they found themselves standing in a dull gray hallway with a familiar protrusion sticking out from a blank wall. They were looking around for some sign of a ship when the light cleared, but much to their confusion, found nothing but a dull hallway. Celestia didn't waste any time, however, as she stepped forward to open the door with an unshod hoof.

“Where are we, Princess?” Twilight asked as she turned back to see Celestia place her hoof on the topmost surface of the protrusion.

“We're in one of the auxiliary hallways in the lowest portion of Canterlot Castle,” Celestia replied as she removed her hoof and slipped it back in its shoe as the door slid open soundlessly. “Nopony comes here except for a rare guard patrol and cleaning crews. Now, quickly girls, enter first, as the door will close behind me.” At her words, the motley group of ponies made their way into the brightly-lit passage followed, by the ancient alicorn. “When the castle was commissioned, I made a few... personal modifications once the construction was complete. Much of what resides down here shouldn't even be seen by anything living on this world aside from Luna and myself due to pantheonic, interdimensional and intergalactic laws, but there are certainly extenuating circumstances in this case.”

“Wait a moment...” Twilight said as she shook her head in confusion. “Did you say 'pantheonic?' As is pantheon?”

“Of course,” Celestia replied. “I have a membership to the pandimensional pantheon, as does Luna. Though I haven't felt it the proper time to bring Cadance into the know as of yet as she has a lot more to learn about love and I wouldn't have her exposed to that cur Loki or the gods of hedonism and eroticism. I was planning on taking you to get registered in another month or so once you started growing into your deistic power, but it looks like there might not be a good opportunity, so you should get registered before you come back. I have some guest passes for you girls to use in case we need to call in some favors.”

“Registration?”

“Certainly Twilight. All gods, large or small must register with the pandimensional pantheon to get their benefits.”

“Benefits?”

Celestia heaved a lighthearted sigh and smiled at Twilight, “Please, let's focus on the most important matter at hoof. You have an incredible amount of instruction manuals and tutorials to go through within the next twenty four hours, as do each of your friends if you're to safely pilot my Ku'uipo.”

“Okay, Princess.” Twilight replied lamely. “But still... This is a lot for me to take in all at once.”

“You think you have it rough, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. “I've just been on autopilot for the last five minutes. Just how long is this hallway anyways?”

“We're almost there, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia answered succinctly. “I had to be sure that the hangar was located deeply enough within the mountain to ensure that no harm would come to it or anypony if something unfortunate were to happen.”

“Might I inquire as to what kind of vessel it is?” Rarity asked politely.

“It's an identical model to what Dandy pilots, though the aesthetics are far more tasteful in my opinion. It was a birthday present from him during our first year together since he thought I deserved a ship of my own.”

“Oh...” Rarity said as she grimaced in a very unattractive way at the fact that she would be using something that was bought by the individual that took her sister away to who knew what or where.

“Neat!” Pinkie said in her usual good cheer.

“It certainly was very thoughtful and kind of him,” Fluttershy added quietly.

“'Specially since we're gonna use it ta chase 'im down with it.” Applejack said as a grin spread across her face.

“That may be, Applejack, but please try to be gentle on her? I haven't taken her out of here for a couple millenia and I would hate to have to get her repainted,” said Celestia as she looked worriedly over her shoulder.

“We'll try our best to keep 'er whole an' in one piece.”

I'll have to see if I can manage to get an insurance policy before they leave... If I know these girls like I think I know them, then either it'll come back better than new or I might just get the figurehead back... Celestia thought as they finally passed out of the long access hallway revealing the massive room in which her ship resided. In form, it was identical to the ship Dandy owned, though the ship itself was painted with a mural that showed a white sand beach just at the break of dawn, the ocean almost black while the sky was just beginning to lighten on the horizon as a wide bank of clouds began to slightly break up with the coming of the sun. To the assembled ponies, the image provided them with a sense of hope for their desperate quest. Glad to know my paint job is still striking to others. Celestia thought with a smile as she saw their faces lose some of the stress and worry they had worn for the past while.

“Girls? This is my Ku'uipo,” Celestia said with a sweeping gesture. “It will take a little while for her to do a full systems diagnostic, but it should be finished with time to spare before you leave tomorrow morning. Twilight will be busy reading the operating manuals for the most part and I would like to have her take the role of captain as her multitasking abilities are bar none. Rainbow, I'll have you running flight simulations to get adjusted to piloting her. Rarity, I would have you act as the supply quartermaster while I would have Pinkie Pie act as the navigation quartermaster. Fluttershy, I'll have you get acquainted with the medical facilities and Applejack can see what she can cook up in the kitchen.”

“Why have Pinkie Pie be the navigator?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well, as I said earlier, Dandy is incredibly elusive. I'm hoping Pinkie Pie's unique ability would be able to help steer you girls in the right direction.”

“I guess that might work,” Twilight said after a moment. “Oh, I almost forgot in all this confusion. What're we gonna tell Spike? We left while he was out on errands and didn't even leave a note!”

“Don't worry, Twilight. I'll send a note once you girls get settled on the ship,” Celestia reassured. “Now come along, we have much to do and little enough time.” With that, Celestia led the group of ponies up to the impressive bulk of the ship as it softly lit up as its owner came closer.

***

“You know something?” Scootaloo said after about a half hour after their departure. “Space is pretty boring.”

“Yeah, it is,” Dandy replied, “That's why I spend a lot of time at BooBies.”

“BooBies?” Apple Bloom said confusedly. “Funny thing to name a place.”

“It sounds kinda fun to me.” Sweetie Belle chipped in. “Plus it sounds like something bouncy.”

“You have no idea, kid.” Dandy said grinning.

“Well, lets check it out after we get registered.” Scootaloo supplied.

“Sure thing,” Dandy said as he checked one of the monitors. “Huh... It looks like I'm way out in the boondocks. There aren't even any space-nav buoys.”

“I know I'm going to be asking this a lot, but what are those?” Scootaloo asked with a resigned sigh.

“They're like signs in space that tell you where you're at and where other things are in relation to them.”

“Huh... So can we go any faster so we can get to wherever we need to go?”

“Oh yeah...” Dandy replied grinning. “I'm sure Qt's gonna bitch at me for it, but whatever. LET'S GET GOING!” he yelled just before he slammed his fist on the hyper-drive button. Instead of the light separating into its different wavelengths like it had in the past, the only thing that happened was a popping noise, like a soap bubble bursting. The excited fillies looked outside for any indication of their faster speed, but noticed nothing had changed.

“So... what was that about going faster?”

“Shut up,” Dandy groused. “The damn thing must be busted or something from the crash.”

“Right... So how long's it gonna take us to get to where we need to go?”

“I dunno. Maybe a few hours, or a day or two depending on how far out we are in the boondocks. If you're bored, you can look around the ship for Qt if you want. It's not like he has much of anything to do aside from keeping the place clean, info dump me at weird moments and nag the everliving crap outta me.”

“So who's this Qt guy anyways?”

“My robot. You basically know where the important stuff is, so just look around for the guy. I'm sure you'll find him sooner or later.”

“Sounds like a plan ta me, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said with a grin. “Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in robot hunting?”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle yelled, excited at their first chance to get a strange new cutie mark. “Come on Scootaloo! Let's get going!” She said as she unbuckled herself from the seat and trotted a few paces towards the exit.

“Fine...” Scootaloo conceded as she got out of her own seat to join Sweetie Belle as Apple Bloom did the same. With the trio mobile again, they left the cockpit and began talking over plans and the possible dangers of robots.


Meow, for his part, had been busily trying to sleep off the worst symptoms of his concussion. He had been told repeatedly that falling asleep with a concussion might mean he would never wake up again, but he was fine with that. He liked his sleep anyway. Since he had woken up in a rather uncomfortable position and didn't feel like sleeping on the overly soft couch, he made his way to the messy little room that he had claimed for his own and flopped haphazardly onto the rather large pile of dirty laundry that he made his bed.

Roughly four hours later, he finally woke up feeling mostly normal aside from a little soreness due to the crash earlier. As he blearily wiped the sleep from his eyes, he got up and left his room in search of food only to literally bump into Qt who had been waiting for him to get up.

“Oh... Hey Qt. How long have I been out?” he asked as a massive yawn cracked his jaw.

“Almost five hours now. We've already left that planet and we're on our way back into known territory.”

“Oh, cool. You think you could make me something to eat? I don't feel like setting the ship on fire right now.”

“Sure. Just head on over to the kitchen and I'll be back with the supplies.” Qt said while he turned and started rolling down the hallway.

“Thanks, Qt. I'll be waiting,” Meow said to the retreating robot. With another, albeit less severe yawn, Meow meandered his way to the kitchen. Normally, this would be nothing out of the ordinary for Meow as he followed his usual schedule while with Dandy. This was not a normal day, however, as he had just rounded a corner and found himself face to face to face to face with a trio of brightly colored fillies who had literally frozen in their tracks at the sight of him. With sleep clouding his mind and food his only thought at the moment, Meow did what anyone would expect of him. He said, “Hi.”

The trio of fillies took a simultaneous gasp of air before they assaulted his ears with shrieks so piercing that any glass within twenty feet of them would have shattered. To say the least, Meow's eardrums fared little better. As he was reeling from the unexpected assault, the fillies ran off back down the hallway they had come from.

“What the heck did I do to deserve this?” Meow complained to nobody in particular as a little trickle of blood leaked onto his hand from his abused ear. “Maybe I should let Dandy know he has some weird alien hitchhikers on board... Or maybe... I could try to capture them myself! Oh man... With all that money, I could do whatever I wanted! I could probably buy my own place on some tropical resort planet and spend the rest of my life in the lap of luxury with cute maids and everything! Oh man... All the things I could buy...”


While Meow was busy with dreams of grandeur that would likely never happen, the fillies had been running as though they had stumbled upon the lair of a rabid manticore. Their flight took them on many twists and turns, down a flight of stairs and into a dark room that held more than a few olive colored boxes. Once they secured the door, they held their breath and listened for any signs of pursuit. After a few tense moments of suspense, they finally let go of the breaths they were holding.

“Ah think we lost... whatever it was, girls,” Apple Bloom said as she sat down with a little huff.

“What was that thing anyway?” Scootaloo asked the equally oblivious pair.

“Beats me, but let's forget robot hunting and try to capture that thing. Who knows what kind of mischief it could get into on Dandy's ship if we let it go?”

“It could throw all our plans out of whack if it's up to no good,” Scootaloo said seriously. “We can't let that happen.”

“But what if it's a nice alien?” Sweetie said with a ponderous look as she thought about their first encounter with it. “I mean, all it did was say 'hi' before we ran off.”

“That's how they always get you, Sweetie,” Scootaloo said confidently. “I've read more than enough comics to know how it'll end up if we let it stay loose.”

“How will what end up?”

“We'll wake up to find ourselves in some cocoon after it lays its eggs inside of us! Or maybe it'll clone one of us and take over the ship one at a time as it infiltrates us one after another until there's no one left! There's a lot more I could tell you about aliens, but it's even worse than what I've already told you.”

“Worse?!” Sweetie squeaked as her eyes widened in fear.

“Oh yeah, way worse,” Scootaloo affirmed, “So that's why we need to take this thing out now.”

“Ah think yer right, Scoots, but what do we have to deal with it? Where are we anyways?”

“I'unno. Let's look around to see what we can find and see if it's useful at all.”

The other two fillies just nodded in agreement as they began to split up and look around the room. For the most part, the room was filled with heavy looking crates colored a dark olive green and sealed shut with shiny silver flip latches. Once they had satisfied their curiosity about what was in the room, they finally decided to begin opening the crates. With a little hoof work, they managed to open the latches, and with a little teamwork, lift the heavy cover open. Inside the crate were several dark gray spherical objects with what looked like handles.

“Huh...” Apple Bloom said as she picked one of them up and looked at the curious item. “What're these supposed ta be?”

“Beats me,” Scootaloo replied.

“Wait a minute, Apple Bloom,” Sweetie said as she noticed a bright yellow square on the underside of the lid showing what looked like instructions though the bottom section was missing. “It says you gotta pull the ring out and throw it. I'm not really sure what it's supposed to do, but they may be useful. Let's take some with us.”

“How?” Scootaloo asked, “It's not like we have saddlebags or anything.”

“Then why don't we look around a bit more, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said with a long suffering sigh at her slightly short minded friend. “Maybe we can find something else that might be useful.”

“I guess it couldn't hurt,” she conceded.

“Right,” Apple Bloom said as she readied to get down to business, “Then let's get lookin'.”

After another fifteen minutes of energetic searching, the trio had found several black messenger bags with many pockets along with matching vests, more of those spherical objects, a box of net launchers, some communicators that they clipped to their ears and tested out with Apple Bloom's help at deciphering the instructions and some cylindrical things that seemed to shoot something. As they found their selves geared up and raring to go, Scootaloo called them for a brief meeting.

“Alright girls, we know what we're dealing with here. An alien. We don't know what it can do or what its motives are, but I just want you all to know that if I get caught or something happens to me, just make sure you get revenge for me.”

“C'mon Scoots,” Apple Bloom scoffed, “It ain’t like we haven't been up against tough odds before. This ain't no different.”

“I know, I know, but still. I want you to promise me. We should all make that promise for each other while we're at it.”

“Alright Scoots, Ah promise,” Apple Bloom replied as she rolled her eyes slightly.

“I guess,” Sweetie Belle added in an unsure tone. Scootaloo nodded and looked grim as she led the way down the hallway with their collective revenge pact sealed, though she didn't get far as the startling noise of compressed gas being released and a high velocity net came careening after her, leaving her an undignified bundle of fur, feathers and shock. “Oops...”

Trying her hardest not to laugh and failing, Apple Bloom made her way over to the neatly bundled Scoots and asked, “Should we get revenge on the alien for this, or Sweetie?”

***

“So...” Qt said as he looked at Meow casually strolling around the living room with a large pole net and a rather massive set of padded earmuffs perched on his head that looked suspiciously like a pair of supportive undergarments. “What's up?”

“Aliens.”

“Aliens?”

“Yep. Aliens.”

“What about aliens?”

“There's some stowaway aliens aboard the ship and I want to capture them so I can get the registration money if they're new.”

“Huh...” Qt pondered. “Are you sure they're stowaways? I mean, Dandy did go outside the ship earlier. They could have come back with him.”

“I don't think so. When they saw me they shrieked so loudly I was bleeding from the ears. I'm pretty sure Dandy wouldn't bring anything like that on board without muzzles. I'm just glad I found a pair of earmuffs, even if they are a bit girly.”

“Maybe... So what do they look like?”

“The earmuffs?”

“No. The aliens.”

“Oh. Pretty small, colorful and it looked like they ran off on four legs.”

“Huh. I don't know about any sentient quadrupeds, so I would say that they're new aliens that we haven't encountered before,” Qt replied. “Do you know what they're capable of doing?”

“Well... Running away really fast and yelling really loudly. That's about all I know for now.” Meow replied as he lifted up the seat of a recliner.

“That's not really helpful,” Qt said with a sigh.

“I know, but if they're new to you, then we'll be going in blind anyway.”

“Eh, could be worse.”

“Please don't say that...”

***

Once Scootaloo had been extracted from the tightly wound net, the Crusaders made their way through the bowels of the ship. Since they were lost, they just took intersections that looked like they might lead somewhere. As they made their way through the ship, they made sure to keep their wits about them and remained on high alert for any signs of the creature they were searching for. For the most part, they had only encountered empty hallways and a few more storage rooms that they searched briefly.

“Where the heck is that thing?” Scootaloo griped as they made their way down another hallway. “I would have thought it would be stalking us by now or maybe tried to attack us, but we haven't seen anything.”

“Shouldn't that be a good thing, Scoots?” Apple Bloom said as she sighed a little.

“No. It's never a good thing. Who knows what it's up to right now? I mean, by this point, it could have made a nest, laid some eggs and hatched a new generation of aliens to do its evil bidding!”

“Do aliens really do that kind of thing?” Sweetie Belle asked as she kept fiddling with her gear as they made their way.

“It's what the comics say, so I'm just gonna go with what I know for now.”

“Maybe we should find Dandy and ask him what to do,” suggested Apple Bloom. “Since he is, ya know, the guy who would know 'bout all this.”

“We got this,” Scootaloo said in all confidence of their abilities. “Besides, when has any plan influenced by my comics gone wrong?”

“Ya know...” Apple Bloom began before sighing and giving up the good fight. “Let's get this over with so Ah can get somethin' ta eat. We haven't had anything ta eat since that pie earlier.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie added. “I'm getting pretty hungry myself.”

“Ugh... Fine,” Scootaloo said with an exasperated sigh as she picked up the pace, the others following closely behind her.


There it is!” Scootaloo harshly whispered to her companions as they looked down from one of the air ducts into the kitchen. "Aren't you glad I convinced you girls to take the ventilation system now?

What do we do now?” Sweetie Belle asked as she watched Meow scrounge around the fridge for something to eat after having found neither hide nor hair of the little fillies.

Alright, here's what we do...” Scootaloo began as she began to hash out a simple capture plan.

***

“Hmmm... This still smells good at least,” Meow said to himself as he sniffed a half full carton of milk before drinking straight from it. After having downed three healthy gulps of milk, Meow was suddenly distracted by the oddly musical clinking of three metal spheres bouncing across the floor of the kitchen, coming to rest only a mere foot away from him. Now, this was probably one of the least likely situations he ever would have imagined himself in, so it took him roughly three seconds for the sight to register fully. The fourth second, he choked on the milk he was drinking and was running into the living room as the fifth second ticked by. Then, as the sixth came around, the objects detonated in a localized area of would-have-been death.

“THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!” Screamed a slightly raspy voice from somewhere in the kitchen. “These things are so cool!”

Meow was still trying to come to terms with his near-death experience in the next room, so he paid little attention to the sound of three fillies dropping five feet to the floor in the other room.

“Shut it, Scoots. It might still be around.” Said another in a slightly hushed tone.

“You're right. Come on, let's go get it before it does anything worse than it already has.”

Oh craaaaap... Meow thought as he heard their footsteps nearing the exit. He spotted the couch halfway across the room and decided to risk running to it, barely getting to the cover as the fillies exited the kitchen. Risking a glance around the corner of the couch, he saw that they were splitting up to search the room. Oh this is bad... They raided the armory. I gotta get out of here and let Dandy deal with it.

With that thought, Meow steeled himself and prepared to make a run for it. He got three steps before a light pink and purple maned head rounded the couch in time for the two to slam together with a resounding shout from both of them. As Sweetie Belle fell back while flailing, she once again, triggered her net gun which sent its high-speed projectile rocketing up at the angled ceiling, where it ricocheted to ensnare a hapless Scootaloo by the recliner. Apple Bloom came around the other side of the couch, net gun at the ready and fired a little too high, inadvertently netting Meow's head and sending him flipping over Sweetie Belle.

“AH GOT 'IM!” She yelled triumphantly.

Dazed, more than a little confused and wanting desperately to run, Meow struggled back to his feet and ran off drunkenly as Apple Bloom was temporarily distracted by checking her flank for a cutie mark that still failed to appear. Her attention was quickly drawn back to Meow as he was making his getaway. With a slight grimace at noticing she hadn't done the job properly, Apple Bloom pulled around the longer, tubelike device to her shoulder, sat on her haunches and pressed the button just as he left her sight.

Meow thought he had made good his escape but felt his blood chill as the unmistakable hiss of high speed death coming his way. He was about seven feet from the place where the rocket propelled grenade hit, the blast wave sending him flying a short way before landing on his face and sliding a few more feet. By this point he was battered, bruised, mildly concussed and in fear for his very life. With the tenacity of someone with several times the safe amount of adrenaline in their system, he scrambled back up and sprinted for his life from the three fillies who were apparently hell bent on ending him.

“Huh... So that's what this does,” Apple Bloom mused aloud as the hot wind blew her mane back, a couple dark streaks of soot lining her face. “Ah'm sure Applejack could use a couple o' these to help 'round the farm with a few stubborn stumps.”

“Uuugh...” Sweetie Belle moaned as she propped herself up and rubbed the slightly tender spot caused by their collision. “What hit me?”

“That varmint when it tried to make a run fer it.”

“He must have a really hard head because that really hurt...”

“Hey, girls?” Scootaloo called in a sheepish voice from by the recliner. “Can I get some help? I got netted again...”

“How'd you manage that?” Apple Bloom said with a snort of amusement.

“Oh, wow... You look really cool right now Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said from her odd position. “You should blow stuff up more often.”

“Ah'll think 'bout it, but right now we got more important stuff ta get on with,” she said with a smirk. “Come on, Sweetie, let's get Scoots untied. Again.”

With a giggle, she got up and walked over to help with the awkward process. About ten minutes later, Scootaloo was shaking herself like a dog as she got blood pumping back to her limbs from their confinement. With that taken care of, they formed up again and left the living room in search of their quarry. As they made their way, the trio made sure to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. They made good progress but soon came up short when Dandy's annoyed voice came over the intercom.

“Hey, girls! Get your butts back to the cockpit, pronto!”

“Maybe the explosions were too loud?” Sweetie asked looking like she got caught cutting Rarity's best bolt of fabric.

“Nah. Ah don't think they were too bad,” Apple Bloom said reassuringly. “But we should go see what he wants, just in case he knows where the alien's at.”

“May as well,” Scootaloo said as they took a left at an intersection that led back to the cockpit. “At the very least, we can take a little break.”


“Hey, Dandy, we're here!” Scootaloo called as the door slid open and the Crusaders walked jauntily in. They were brought up short as they saw their quarry hiding behind an irate Dandy.

“Just what the hell are you girls doing, raiding the armory without permission? And why were you three hunting Meow?” he asked angrily.

“Meow?!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she lowered herself aggressively. “This thing's an alien that's gonna kill us all!”

“Please!” Meow yelled back. “You three almost killed me! Twice!”

“We only tried to get you before you got us!”

“Would all of you SHUT THE HELL UP!!!” Dandy yelled the others into silence. “You three, apologize to Meow for almost killing him and giving him another concussion. Meow, just... shut up and take their apologies. It's kinda my fault for bringing them on without properly introducing all of you anyway, so I'll treat you at BooBies, Meow.”

“I guess that works for me.” Meow replied, slightly placated.

“So he's not gonna kill us all in our sleep?” Scootaloo said, her aggression bleeding away.

“Apparently not,” Apple Bloom replied with a snicker. “Sorry 'bout raiding the armory, Dandy... Meow, was it?” At his nod, Apple Bloom continued. “Yeah... Sorry 'bout almost blowin' you up a couple times back there.”

“Yeah...” Sweetie Belle said with a slight, but powerful pout. “Sorry, Dandy. Sorry, Meow.”

“Sorry for running into you back there,” Meow said to Sweetie Belle. “It was an accident, but since I was running for my life at the time I hope that's good enough.”

“It's alright. Just a little bump,” she replied with a little smile.

“Okay, Scoots. Yer turn,” Apple Bloom said, urging Scootaloo on.

“Fine...” Scootaloo began but pulled up short as she noticed the stink eye Dandy was giving her. “I get it, alright? I'm sorry for raiding the armory and almost killing Meow. That good enough?”

“For now,” Dandy replied with a raised eyebrow. “But you three are on cooking and dish duty for a week.”

“Sweetie Belle is not doing any of the cooking...” Scootaloo muttered vehemently.

“Hey!”

“Don't fret 'bout it, Sweets, Ah got it.” Apple Bloom cut in before her friends could get at each others' throats. A moment later, a ding from one of the counsoles drew Dandy's attention away from the group.

“Hey, guys! Good news! The ship just picked up a buoy! Looks like we're only a few hours out from the Alien Registration Bureau. We'll get you three registered, pick up the bounty money and head over to BooBies by suppertime. Since I'll be busy piloting, how about you three get started on dinner duty since I haven't had lunch yet.”

“Ah could use a bit to eat, now that ya mention it. Come on girls, may as well get started,” Apple Bloom said as she turned around and left the cockpit with a slightly bouncy Sweetie Belle and a muttering Scootaloo.

“Those girls are gonna be trouble, Dandy,” Meow said once the trio had left.

“Maybe, but they definitely have the initiative to be top notch bounty hunters,” Dandy replied with a lopsided grin. “Look at the number they did on you without any instruction, training or any real know how.”

Meow shuddered. “That's what frightens me, Dandy... That's what frightens me...”

Comments ( 17 )

this could be an amazing story even without the whole chased by the mane 6 thing :heart:

4457260
That only adds to the usual insanity :trollestia: Just wait until the Mane 6 meet up with the Gogol Empire goons chasing him :rainbowlaugh:

and now stoop slightly apart

I think that one's MY fault. :twilightsheepish:

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER BOUNTY HUNTERS YAY!
BA: The universe is not ready for them. Especially if they're with Dandy.
EI: I can't wait to see how f'd up this gets.

I had been waiting for this update. And it didn't disappoint. :pinkiehappy:

Just when I thought this story bit the dust! Awesome to see the CMC are avid alien hunters :rainbowlaugh:

4464093
Sorry for the late update :twilightsheepish: I've been busy and next I have a little short I want to start before finishing my next update for His Life to Live :twilightsmile:

first let me say i know 0% about space Dandy. Second let me say despite that. THIS story is AWESOME and i MUST read more! LOL:pinkiehappy:

4548951 Very welcome! I actually hope the CMC actually DO show talent as bounty hunters, it would be SO cool! May i ask when we can possibly expect an update/? :pinkiehappy:

4548964
I would say between two and three weeks at this point. I have to update His Life to Live first, then work on this chapter lol

4548972 I see ^_^ I suppose while i await an update i can browse your other stories. :twilightsmile:

4549034
I hope you enjoy them just as much :twilightsmile:

4549042 I most likely will hehe. I only recently discovered this site, and i must say it has a LOT of wonderful stories :twilightsmile:

4549082 Just wish it had more search options to make looking for certain stories easier. especially when it comes to searching for cross overs :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

4549090
Yeah. It does get a little interesting when searching for specific stories lol

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