• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

TheMasterofDespair


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Do words hurt more than actions? One filly seems to think so, but she's usually the one giving the insults. But one insult will send this little filly on the biggest journey of her life. However, with the news of her disappearance. A hefty reward is afforded for her safe return. This reward seems to catch the attention of many ponies, including a washed up showmare.


Proofread by MagerBlutooth.
Cover Art by MagerBlutooth.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 48 )

Can it be :pinkiegasp:
No way! A slight redemption kind of story for DT. :pinkiehappy:
You have gained my interest. :moustache:

3973063
I wouldn't necessarily say it's a redemption story, but it does show a more three dimensional view of her. :twilightsmile:

3973121
True enough but really, she is seeing how hurtful her words can be to others when others do the same to her.

Sounds pretty interesting so far. Any ETA on the next chapter?

3973565
Actually, I've already written the next chapter in advance. All I have to do is proofread, and fix some minor spelling errors here and there. I could probably have it uploaded by Friday.

I am verily excited to see where this goes. As far as openers go, this was pretty damn solid. Just the typo on "quiet" at the start where you meant to say "quite".

You have a nice way with words. I'm amazed you don't write more often! :rainbowkiss:

3981401
Thank you greatly. I myself was impressed on how good this opening turned out. As for that spelling error, I'm going to have to file a complaint against MagerBlutooth, professional proofreader, pffff.

I really do want to write more, I just happen to be a very lazy writer. But don't worry, the first chapter will be uploaded very soon.

L4

:heart::heart::heart::heart:
Finally a DT&BS story (of some sort)
I LOVE every piece of this chapter now gonna read second one

L4

:heart::heart::derpyderp1::heart::heart:

I cannot wait for your update and everything was great

That's the problem with offering grandiose rewards like that. If you can offer 150K, why not offer 300K? Well, at least that's what bad folks thought process are like, anyways. I hear that you aren't supposed to put a money tag on lost people due to that.

I was aching for a well-written DT story, so I'm totally following this one. Can't wait to see Babs!

4007356
Well that makes perfect sense as to why they wouldn't want people to offer a large reward for a missing person.

Your search is over, stick with this story and you are in for a lot of love, fun, and a little drama on the side. Also, Babs will be appearing during Day 2, and believe me, she'll totally be at her A Game.

4006648
Thank you so much for reading it, and as for Babs Seed, she will be appearing in Day 2.

4006680
I was just working on Day 2 today, hopefully if I continue to do so it will be uploaded in possibly a week, possibly.

I fucking hate cities. I feel you, DT.

4024993
Yeah, cities suck. The noise, the people, the endless traffic, ugh.

So, what do you think of Day 1, and the story as it is so far?

4025048 It's hard to judge the story so far, as the action is only beginning to build up. But I can see a lot of trouble in store for DT.

If I can hop on a soapbox for a moment, I found it very foolish of Filthy Rich to offer the 100,000 bit reward for DT's return. I understand he probably wasn't thinking terribly clearly, since his daughter just went missing. But that was still a pretty dumb move; he's asking for DT to get foalnapped and extorted for more money. Okay, I'm done now. (And yes, I saw how you made this mistake pretty clear with those two stallions who are thinking the same thing as I.)

Overall, I find the premise interesting, and different for a fic starring DT in the lead role. The search for her mother, while realistically futile, is a noble goal, even for a slightly-spoiled filly. But as i said above, there's not much I can comment on until the story picks up some more. Whoever your proofreader is doing a good job; I can say that. Haven't found any mistakes yet.

Keep it up!

4026320
You are right on the money, DT is in for a lot of trouble. Hopefully somepony will be there to protect her.

Speaking of money, I agree, it was a little dumb of Filthy Rich to offer such a big reward, but for the stories purpose, the reward is what sets up a great portion of the story. Btw, one of the ponies that's planning to foalnap Diamond is a mare, not a stallion.

Yes, this is definitely a more unique Diamond Tiara fic, also the person who proofread this story was MagerBlutooth, he made the cover art as well. Since you're apart of the Diamond Cutters I'm sure you've already met him. I'm almost done with Day 2, and trust me this chapter is going to be insane.

Thank you for your comment.

Btw, one of the ponies that's planning to foalnap Diamond is a mare, not a stallion.

My mistake. :twilightsheepish:

Thank you for your comment.

You're welcome. It's what I do. Especially for fellow Diamond Cutters. :heart:

Everything feels so much more grand now. Having re-read this it feels so different. If this story had released at this current length, I can honestly see it as a potential featured story quite easily. This is pretty epic. This story holds nothing back and shows just how dangerous the big city can be to foalish filly like Diamond. My goodness, that's been a pretty crappy first day and second day in Manehatten.

This story feels so much more different than I remember it. Reading over 9k words of this felt just great. Not sure what the switch in perspective to Silver and the CMC was for, aside from showing us a nice glimpse of how others are reacting to the sudden disappearance of Diamond Tiara. Poor Silver Spoon. I'll assume if they become important to the story you'd add a character tag, but I'm perfectly happy with sticking with the focus on Diamond and her former friend and now this showmare.

I think I can say for what this story is trying to accomplish, this third chapter really did lock this story in. I hope we see more big chapters like this. Btw, you missed a couple quotation at the ends with Trixie and Diamond's back and forth.

.

“Trixie. You know the famous showmare.”

“I don’t...

“Precisely. No, wait Trixie is the most power... You know what? Just be quiet.

Shouldn't there be a period or comma after wait? Those two make a huge difference in dialogue, even using an ellipse or em dash can change the perspective of how a stutter, a pause to show confusion, a sudden change of topic from being shown up, how fast they are talking, and so forth. Everything you choose affects the overall tone of the character's mood and helps people interpret the line of dialogue better.

I'd imagine italize the Trixie since it feels she's putting a lot into that SHE is most powerful. (Also, that back and forth was very clever. Kudos. Rarity approves :raritystarry:)

Loved this chapter! And 2 felt so different. Maybe because I'm more awake or because I read all of them together which painted a clearer picture than waiting between updates, but I think I have a new favorite story among favorites here. Keep up the fantastic work! You and your editor truly make a great team. :heart:

Great chapter. It was awesome to see Babs make an appearance. And I agree with Telaros, this chapter really kicked things up a notch. Can't wait for the next one!

4078465
Late reply. Thank you again. Yeah, the first two days in Manehattan haven't been the best for Diamond, but Day 3 will be a little bit easier on her. This is probably the most chaotic of all the chapters. After this the story is going to calm down a little on action and focus more on humor and drama.

The chapters will also remain for the most part pretty long. They will definitely be over three thousand words. Aside from the prologue, Day 1 will probably be the shortest chapter. I estimate Day 3 to be in the four thousands, so longer than Day 1, but shorter than Day 2.

One more thing, what was your favorite part of Day 2? As crazy as this chapter is, I really enjoyed the scene with Diamond and Babs just talking, before the whole chase scene began.

4081537
Late reply. Thanks. So, did you enjoy how Babs was written? Also, what was your favorite part?

4118402 I did; I think you did a pretty good job on Babs. My favorite part of this chapter was when Babs put on DT's tiara to throw their pursuers. That was pretty badass for two little fillies. :rainbowkiss:

4118667
What can I say, Babs was truly at her A Game in this chapter.

4118395 You make Babs likable without being so white-washy. She's pretty hood, and seems to have kept her confidence I'd assume she learned with being with Diamond and Silver for those three weeks, and so she's not being overly mean backstabby like her 180 out of the blue moment in the show, but still has that edge to her while keeping her innocence.

I can't really find many, hardly any, stories with Babs that can balance her need to act and be tough, while still keeping her pre-Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon innocence and quirks. The streets make a child grow up before their time, but they still have that naivety and roll by their own unspoken rules. Something I think this story shows pretty well.

I really liked their introduction. Babs and DT were friends, even if she did pick on blank flanks, she did accept Babs into her circle and I feel gave her something she's probably secretly grateful for. She may have emulated her Manehattan bullies and tried a bit too hard to impress her friends till she got addicted to power... Babs appeared to have been having a great time.

I'd say my favorite part would be Babs just following DT and DT would just keep being her smug and Dom self despite all the adversity she's been facing. She is such a proud filly.

It's hard to pick just one, since I loved most Babs and DT scenes. I'm just glad someone's finally doing a proper one-on-one with these two once good friends. And this story, this one feels right. No distractions from the CMC or anything. Just DT and Babs. Free to actually be themselves and speak freely.

I really like your slice of realism but still keeping it within the realm of MLP. Day one was pretty gritty, but it felt right. Your Trixie is pretty adorable. You have a certain touch with the show mare, I'm looking forward to more of her next chapter.

4118395 Oh, you said Day TWO. Well, damn, that's easy! Babs with the tiara and that liner she gave to the pony. lol But yeah, the park stuff was crazy. Like I said before, I just love how well those two are flowing. I loved the talk just before the encounter as well. But that should be implied with how much I gush over seeing these two so interestingly portrayed, there is finally something for Babs Seed fans to enjoy here even if they dislike Diamond.

You have NO idea how hard it is to find a Babs Seed story that doesn't make me want to drive my head through the monitor. She gets almost no real love or character outside of being made a love interest and pitiable character that tries to paint away the things she did wrong.

So, to me, I really want to see this become one of those great completed fics that shows a very real but very MLP side to what you're doing now. Babs is lovable but she ain't hollow or a pushover anymore, which she shouldn't be after the events of One Bad Apple. But toned back to be more confident in just enjoying being herself more now.

Though, story wise, Trixie disappeared for a lot of that chapter and I was hoping she'd show up less out of the blue at the end. Potentially overhearing some brats who may have spotted her and gloated about some bits. *cough* I'd not blame Trixie had she taught them a lesson and THEN caught wind of the filly's location. But that would of broken perspective so we can leave the in betweens to the imagination I suppose.

4118846
Late Reply again, squee.

I had my doubts about how I was writing Babs' character, but in the end I think she came out pretty well. I can imagine it would be quite difficult to find a good Babs Seed story, it's just like with Silver Spoon, people write her as an uninterested victim who's only friends with DT because she's forced to, or some bullshit like that. She always written so out of characters that it's basically not even her. Those fans don't even like Silver Spoon, they just support that delusional head-canon, and completely ignore everything from the show.

Probably my biggest disappointment with One Bad Apple was how much they screwed over Babs' character. She had so much potential, and yet just became a generic, cardboard cutout. She was going to be one of my favorite characters, possibly upstaging even Diamond Tiara.

Although the fans seem to love her more that way, or at least pretend to. Honestly, I was actually Babs' very first fan. I remember all the hate she received just a couple of days before her episode aired. She was probably hated more than Diamond Tiara. But after the episode ended, everyone than loved her. Several people who said they hated her character before, now magically loved her. Fans can be so fickle. The truth is, just like with Silver Spoon, most don't actually like her, they just like their head-canon. That is why you won't find many good Babs Seed stories, most people don't understand how to write her character, so they write her as a generic mess.

As for Day 3, I got to admit, I haven't been writing much at all. I've seemed to have lost my writing edge. I could have easily had Day 3, possibly even Day 4 uploaded by now, it's a little unfortunate. I just need some kind of motivation to get me writing again. I really starting to miss this story.

Now I will tell you a little of what will come. Trixie is finally going to become a main character. She was a minor character in the first two chapters, having only a couple of scenes. As for Babs, her character is going to take a backseat for a little while, basically becoming like Trixie was, only appearing in minor scenes. It's almost like they are going to switch places. But don't worry, Babs will be back.

This story is 100% Diamond Cutter Approved!
oi58.tinypic.com/bgvbkg.jpg
Now give us our next chapter! :twilightangry2:

4339052
I've gotten back into writing again, and I'm just about finished with Day 3.

We SERIOUSLY need more Trixie and Diamond Tiara fanworks. This chapter had a delicious amount of Trixie and DT being quite at each others' throats, sort of. xD

Great chapter. Can't tell you how happy I was to see this at the top of my notifications!

P.S.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/335/8/a/babs_to_the_bone_collab_by_rei_moonveil-d5mpy2h.png

(Replace all bad with Babs. Enjoy!)

[“You can call it fake, but this is reah mahgic! Reah mahgic!”

Reference?

Anyway, I find a bit surprising a so called "talentless showmare" can teleport.

I absolutely LOVED this chapter. It was a bit lighter and funnier than some of the previous chapters. I gotta say, you've probably written my absolute favorite characterization of Diamond Tiara. The way she handles her situation (threatening to turn Trixie in, for example) is just fantastic and great demonstration of dome of the positive aspects of her personality. I laughed aloud when she starting yelling to passersby that Trixie was offering her candy! :rainbowlaugh:

Great work so far! I can sense there is still some trouble ahead for poor Diamond. I hope everything turns out okay. Given their current situation this story could turn really dark really fast. I look forward to the moment DT meets her mother, if that happens.

Fingers crossed it won't take as long for Day 4 as it did for Day 3. :raritywink:

4800029
We definitely need more Diamond Tiara and Trixie stories. There are no two characters in this entire fandom that have as much great chemistry as these two. The story practically wrote itself. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope it was worth the wait.

Speaking of which, I got to thank you for giving me the motivation to finish this chapter. Months back, Day 3 was basically done, but I lost interest when I had to alter certain scenes. I thought would never finish it.

But, within the last couple of weeks I was thinking about the story again. What really got me back into writing was when I was browsing through MagerBlutooth's gallery, and I came across one of the vectors I requested from, the cover image for this story. I saw the your comments asking him to do artwork based on Priceless. The every next day I spend the entire afternoon editing and proofreading, until the chapter was done. So yeah, thank you for the motivation. Also Telaros, tell me, what was your favorite part of Day 3? Be as detailed as you see fit.

4800066
What can I say? It's a great song.

4801394
Thank you so much. Yeah, it was definitely a lot more lighthearted than the previous chapters. I agree, I really did enjoy Diamond's character in this story. I might be a little bias here, but if I were to make a top ten list of best Diamond Tiara fanfics, Priceless would probably be on the list. Low on the list, but still in the running.

As for what you can expect, all I can say is that things are going to get worse before they get better. I could say that this is the funniest chapter in the entire story, but there is still so much to come. It's nice to see that you guys hadn't giving up on this story after that long wait. I really hope I don't postpone it like I did with Day 3. I'll try my best to get it down quicker than the previous chapter. One more thing, if you wish, please tell me what your favorite part of Day 3 was.

4811991 Aww~ :heart: I didn't think a simple comment could bring such motivation. I was just really excited over some of the events that went on in the story. It's one of my favorite DT stories and frankly sort of blew me away how you manage to capture these ponies' personalities.

If I HAD to chose a favorite favorite scene, it was just after DT decided not to turn in Trixie, the whole morning thing with the creeping shadow that almost felt like it was going to snatch at DT like some fissure demon from japanese horror tales/mythos came close, the way Diamond asserted herself and Trixie laying down how she is, personality wise, and just that whole Dom vs Dom attitudes of how special they see themselves as and should be treated, god so many commas wth am I doing, was probably my favorite scene.

So, yeah. The other would be Trixie backing away and trying to collect herself from blowing up on the filly who wants the bed. Adament that DT gets the couch. Frustrated how DT practically ignores her by just passing out and drooling on Trixie's floor. Trixie had a lot of internal struggling there, but seeing her good side, the side that instinctively tried to shield Snips and Snails from an Ursa Minor whens he could of easily ran away, to see Trixie give in and actually put the drunken filly on her bed as she took the couch, it just really hit me in the feels.

I know what it's like to be down on your luck. And despite that, Trixie still manages to get by and be herself regardless of her struggles. I REALLY respect that. You really captured her well in this story. When you say that chapter practically wrote itself with these two, I believe it.

It's a crying shame and you have no idea how upsetting it is that this story isn't featured on someplace like EQD. OF ALL THE STORIES of Diamond Tiara, THIS would be the one I'd truly like to see up there. No bias. No bull. This story is everything even the more stringent of the pre-readers, even Alex himself, would be hardpressed to not like. And I know he's not her biggest fan, but I like to think he's a good judge of what makes a good story and I think even he'd agree that this story is awesome.

I think more people would rather avoid a good story like this in fear DT might become liked by more people, then anyone who dislikes DT would dislike this story if anything. You even have people who willingly admit they avoid stories that aren't DT redemption stories or she suffers something of a loss or whatever. I feel really sorry for people like that, not because I think they should love DT, or any of that, but because they choose to close themselves off to so many of the good experiences this one fic has shown me.

You've given much love and respect to the one pony who did DT wrong. You have a very Trixie, Trixie. And Diamond Tiara is Diamond Tiara as people would like to see her being on the show. Demanding. Overly proud. Stubborn attitude. And knows how to turn things around to her favor. All the while you have her experiencing what we'd expect from a story like this, actual hardships. The dangers of being a young filly in a big city all on your own. And something that may end up being a bad experience for the pink pony if she ever manages to get her wish.

Hell, we still even have the CMC who may show up in future Days. Who knows what's going to happen from here. I'm just happy to have gotten the chance to read this chapter. It's certainly a nice change of pace and had lots to love. Yeah, that stranger danger moment with the candy is a given too.

It's really flattering you think my opinion mattered in the finishing of this chapter. I really know how bad things can get when it seems no one cares enough about a story. And even if I ever disappear offline for some time. I still want to hold the hope that if worst case comes, I'll be able to return someday to read a completed story. It really saddens me when a story I love gets abandoned. This is one of those stories I've been rooting for and trying to think of meaningful ways to express my sincerity about it. But know that even if I don't comment on any future chapters for awhile, I'll be trying my damndest to read them when I can.

Keep being awesome, MoD. And thanks for starting up the Diamond Cutters. You have no idea how nice it's been to meet so many great new friends and read so many refreshing new ideas with not just Diamond Tiara, but also the CMC and Silver Spoon and so many more because of Diamond Tiara and the creative minds behind the stories I've had the privilege to read. So, thanks a lot! Especially for letting a newcomer become a sort bosstype admin along with Mudpony and Mager. It's been tons of fun!




P.S. See you round, spacepony!
derpicdn.net/img/2014/7/26/683782/large.png

4812095 My favorite part was when Diamond chugged that bottle of wine while Trixie was in the bathroom. I have a soft spot for drunk fillies. :heart:

4815009
Yeah, drunk Diamond was adorable. Did you know that Yukito also wrote a story where Diamond gets completely wasted. It's definitely worth a read. So, do you have any predictions for the rest of the story?

4815079 I'll go give him a look-see.
It's hard to predict anything the way this story has been going so far. I'm going to guess Trixie & DT are going to reach the train station and then the others will swoop in and kidnap them both and then DT & Trixie will have to work together to escape.
I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I think DT will actually meet her mother like she planned to.

4812747
Well, those simple comments are what brought me back, otherwise it might have been another few weeks before I started writing again. I'm actually just as surprised at how well I had written these characters.

That was such a great scene. You should thank Mager as well, he really helped improve it, plus the scene when Trixie got arrested. If it wasn't for him, the entire sequence would not have played out as well as it did. As for Trixie giving Diamond the bed, it was actually pretty heartwarming. Even the most jerkish ponies can have a sweet side.

I've never tried to send it to EQD. To be honest, I'm not sure it would even make it onto their site. I'm almost certain that before they even finish the first paragraph of the prologue, they would dismiss it all together, just because it doesn't show Diamond Tiara as being a two-dimensional bully. I don't think they like the idea that Diamond Tiara can have any actually character, but who knows.

Yeah, I've seen people that only read Diamond Tiara stories were she gets abused or killed, it's quite unfortunate. There's some people that get mad when Diamond is portrayed as more than just a generic bully character. They will down vote stories just on those grounds.

Trixie is Trixie, she is a very fun character to write. As for Babs, even though I'm not all that fond of her character in the show, I find her character to be pretty cool in fanon. Just imagine if the Babs in Priceless was the Babs in the actually show. She would be hands down the best character. Now with Diamond Tiara, I wrote her character to represent the way she is on the show, while still giving her believable characteristics. I like when the audience can have mixed opinions about certain characters, and Diamond is perfect for that role. She's still her arrogant, bratty self, but she's also still a child who has found herself in a situation that's bigger than she realized.

We might possibly see the CMC again, even Silver Spoon, we just got to wait and see. This chapter is definitely more upbeat than the previous ones. While Trixie may not be the best caretaker, at least Diamond has found a place that she can feel safe.

Your opinion really did help me. It's nice to hear that someone really enjoys your work, it gives them a reason to keep at it. It's truly heartbreaking when you see a story you love not finished. I remember enjoying certain fanfics, hoping for them to continue, only to find out that the story is a few years old, and the author hasn't been on their account in a long time. It's depressing, I must admit. I thank you greatly for your support.

The Diamond Cutters is probably my favorite thing about this fandom now. If it wasn't for this group I most likely would have lost interest in the fandom all together. We wouldn't have a third as many Diamond Tiara fans if it wasn't for the Diamond Cutters.

Being someone who usually likes the characters that are, overlooked, unappreciated, or flat-out hated. It's nice that at least one fandom in the world would be able to create a group like this. You're a great admin, you've done so many good things for this group. I am so glad that I chose you, my friend. You, Mudpony, Mager, and all the other fellow Diamond Cutters, together we will bring love and tolerance to our beautiful filly, Diamond Tiara.

Aww, it's such a shame this just ends here.

10160985
Yeah, it's unfortunate. It was a fun story for it's time. I really loved the chemistry between Diamond Tiara and Trixie. The interactions they shared were a blast to write. I just ended up losing interest in the story altogether, and sadly never got around to completing it. I'm happy, though, that you still enjoyed the story, as is. Thanks for the comment.

10167374
Do you think you could at least mark it as cancelled then?

10167377
I didn't even know that was an option. My mistake.

10167393
Yeah, you just have to go and edit the story itself.

10167403
I'll do just that. Thank you.

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