Only In Your Dreams

by Joy2urmom

Proper Introductions

Shane laid in his hospital bed thinking about his strange dream after his so called rant," How is that possible? Everything felt so real. I know it was a dream, but yet...I felt everything! Every blade of grass, every hoof, even my own! And especially that hit from that stupid pony!"

" Hahaha, look's like someone hit their head a bit too hard," a guy laughed entering his room.

" Mark! I'm so glad to see you! I need your help," Shane said from his bed reaching out to him.

" Anything man, what is it?" Mark asked.

" Don't overreact and I mean it, I cannot stress that enough," Shane emphasized a warning.

Mark sighed," Just tell me."

" Fine, I know you won't believe me but.... I think I was a pony and went to PonyVille, damn that sounds redundant."

Mark stared at him for a few seconds and burst out in laughter," Hahahahaha! Dude out all people, you?! Hahahaha! I mean come on, you hate all things pony related," he then wiped a small tear," Maybe you did hit your head too hard."

" I'm serious! I was a pony and everything! I was a grey pony with wings!"

" You mean a pegasus?" Mark corrected him," Look man, I know you don't like ponies but teasing me that you went to Equestria is hardly going to work."

" You're not listening! I felt and saw everything! That purple unicorn with the OCD!"

" Twilight Sparkle?" Mark questioned his knowledge of ponies.

" Yeah her! And that derpy eyed one, Derpy right?" Shane wondered if he was correct to which Mark nodded," And there were two others! Kinda clothed, a zebra striped one with goggles and also an ice colored, both pegasi."

" Hmm, clothed ponies? You won't usually see that in PonyVille, what were their names?" Mark questioned actually now trying to help his friend.

" I think one went by the name of Graze and the other Lance."

" What kind of pony name is Lance?"

" I don't know! But that Graze, punched me square in the head. Next thing I know, I am awake from my dream with this throbbing pain."

" Everything doesn't quite add up, how do you feel pain from a dream? And why Ponyville?" Mark asked himself.

" Maybe God hates me."

" Maybe God is a brony and he knows what you did," Mark joked," Don't you think I'm not smart enough to know it was you who trolled that site."

" Oh really?" Shane folded his arms.

" Yeah really, I just gave you the site and as soon as I did, bam, trolled, I'm not stupid Shane but you're my friend and I forgive you," Mark said walking away," I'm going to leave you now and give you some rest time, you'll be here whole weekend."

" Wait! It's so boring! Don't leave me here!" Shane begged as Mark stopped in his foot steps," I will do anything! Even talk about ponies!"

" Are you seriously that desperate?" Mark asked holding the door knob looking at his friend, " This may sound harsh but, I hope you visit Equestria again for your sake because, you really do need an attitude change." He then slammed the door leaving his friend to contemplate on his actions.

Shane flinched hearing the sound of the slamming door," Jeez, what's his problem?" He asked to himself laying on his bed as he stared at the ceiling. ' A weekend shouldn't be too long, maybe I should just sleep it off....Wait, what if I see those ponies again? Ha! Doubt it, it was only a dream and what's the odds of it happening again?' Shane's mind raced as he continuously rambled not soon after falling asleep.

--------

A few hours of sleep later, Shane awoke once again with a yawn and his eyes closed," Ugh, my fucking head still hurts dammit!"

" Well well well, look who finally decided to wake up." Shane turned his head from his fallen stature to the direction of the voice as he saw a familiar ice colored pony sitting ever so calmly on the couch reading a magazine.

" Graze if I'm not mistaken," Shane said.

" Oh, look who remembers my name," Graze said getting off the couch trotting towards the pony," Now let's get one thing straight, you've gotten off the wrong hoof with me calling my mare Derpy. Her name is Ditzy and if I ever find out you called her that again, I will rip you limb from limb."

" Aren't you ponies supposed to be about Love and Tolerance?" Shane question.

" I just loved the fuck out of you when I knocked you out and I am tolerating your shit now," Graze responded," Why do you say 'you ponies'? You're a pony yourself and we haven't even gotten your name."

' Wow, this one is right, I need a name, Shane seems too normal...At least I can make it sound badass,' Shane thought to himself," Alright, fine, call me Tainted Shadow."

" Seems kind of redundant but, to Tartarus with it," Graze said trotting to him lending out a hoof," C'mon get up, we have to meet the others outside."

Taint grabbed his hoof standing up on all his fours as he followed Graze walking outside the house. Tainted saw the four ponies beside each counterpart yet again as the red striped one spoke up" Hey there buddy, sorry for my friend's rational behavior, he is just over protective of Ditzy, so please for the sake of your life, don't ever repeat THAT word." He then chuckled," If Graze didn't hit you too hard, my name is--"

" Lance, and I am Tainted Shadow." Tainted introduced himself.

" Welcome to Ponyville Tainted! I am so sorry about Graze," Ditzy apologized as Graze snorted hot air through his snout as she continued her welcome," Want to come with us? We are going to get some dinner!"

" It would be nice if you got to know us better...And also as an apology," Twilight sheepishly smiled.

' I really don't want to, but! Free food!' Tainted thought to himself," Alright, fine but after this I'm leaving."

" Celestia sakes! What the fu--"

" Graze! If he wants to leave let him!" Ditzy exclaimed.

" Yeah but he could be a little bit more grateful!" Graze pointed a hoof to Tainted.

Lance interrupted Graze's rant as he appeared between them," What my friend is trying to ask is, do you have a place to stay?"

" WHAT?!" Graze shouted but was quickly given a hind buck to his chest by Lance.

" Not really, no."

" We have an extra room, would you like to stay with us?" Lance asked kindly with a smile.

' Why are they so kind? Well, except for Graze.' Shadow thought to himself and accepted the offer ," Fine, but can we please get dinner? I'm starving!"

" No problem," Lance began his trot putting a wing around Twilight as Graze did intertwining his tail with Ditzy's.

' I've never seen these two ever! Not even on the internet...Who are they?'

" Hey Graze, Lance, how did you two meet? You both seem to be like great friends," Tainted questioned.

Lance chuckled, "Well, that's a long story."

Graze nodded in agreement, "Sure is."

Lance looked at the two females, "Could you two give us some privacy?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Why? You don't want us to know what you two were like before coming to Ponyville?"

Graze chuckled, "Exactly."

Twilight sighed, "Come on Ditzy, let's go do something."

"Bake some muffins?!" Ditzy yelled out as she followed Twilight out of the room.

Lance and Graze smiled and took a seat across from Shane.

Lance looked at Graze and rubbed his chin, "So, where should we start?"

Graze chuckled, "Well, we could start from the beginning. From when we first met."

Lance pointed a hoof at him while smiled, "Ah, that's a good spot to start." He turned his head back to Shane and grinned, "You ready?"

Shane sighed, "Yeah, sure."

Lance rubbed his front hooves together, "Alrighty then." He cleared his throat before continuing, "Well, you see, me and Graze met each other in middle school. How long ago was that?"

"Twelve years." Graze answered.

Lance chuckled, "Yeah, twelve years ago. We've known each other twelve years, and we've been the best of pals since."

Graze nodded, "Sure have. We've been through a lot together." He then began to laugh, "Hey Lance, remember when we were mare's for a day?"

Lance also began to laugh, "That was hilarious! Remember when we tried to fool our friends and see if they would date us?"

Graze smirked, "Yeah, I remember you making out with one of them."

Lance waved a hoof at him, "Shut up dude, you know it was for a greater cause!"

"Maybe so, maybe so." Graze said while smiling slyly.

Shane cleared his throat, getting their attention.

Lance smiled sheepishly, "Sorry about that. We tend to get off topic." He sighed, and chuckled, "As I was saying, we met about twelve years ago in middle school. I use to be a nerd..."

"Still is." Graze said with a smirk.

"... I use to be a nerd, always reading and trying to keep up with my studies." He chuckled to himself, "I'll make this a little shorter. One day, when I was studying on the front lawn of the school, some local bullies came up and began to pick on me. Calling me names and pushing me around. But, before they could do any damage, a colt came and stood up for me. This colt was Graze here." Lance said, gesturing to his friend.

Graze gave a nod, "Yep, it was my first day at that school. I had just moved to Fillydelphia from Hoofington. I was young, but full of energy... that doesn't sound right but I'll roll with it."

Lance chuckled a little, "Well, Graze here beat the crap out them. After that, me and him became great friends." They slammed their hooves together, "Skipping ahead a few years to when we were in High School."

Graze smiled, "I got it from here Lance."

Lance waved a hoof at him, "Floors all yours."

Graze cleared his throat and smiled, "While in High School, we got into some deep shit." He snickered, "Hey Lance, remember that Vine chick?"

Lance nodded and rubbed his back, "Yeah, I remember her beating the crap out of us... all I did was drink her coffee."

Graze shrugged, "Beat's me. Remember Ms. Anarchy?"

Lance shuddered, "I remember her and Mr. Charge dating. Ponies that old shouldn't be dating!"

"You got that right. There should be a age restriction on dating." Graze said while he looked out the window.

"OH! Remember the time we got drunk and woke up with all those mares?" Lance said before laughing like crazy.

Graze also burst out laughing, "Yeah! I remember that! Wasn't there like thirty three of them?"

"Thirty four." Lance answered, still laughing.

Graze slapped his knee, "Remember that party?"

"Which one?" Lance said, calming down a bit.

"The one at Old Hickory."

Lance nodded with a grinned, "Oh yeah, I remember."

"We got so drunk that night, remember when you thought I was your mom, and I thought you was my sister?"

"That was a disaster, but funny! Remember when we sang karaoke and just began to scream random words into the mic?"

Graze chuckled, "I remember you jumping into the crowd and breaking your snout."

Lance shook his head, still smiling, "I was drunk."

Again, Shane cleared his throat, "Guys, get back on topic."

Lance facehoofed, "Sorry Tainted. After High School, we decided to stick together and roam all over Equestria. We traveled far and wide, trying to find the place that suited us."

"We got into so much trouble! *Sigh* Those were the good days." Graze said with a chuckle.

Lance gave a nod, "Well, we finally came upon this small town. It was so out of the way, we almost missed it. Luckily, Graze here had to use the bathroom."

Graze raised a hoof, "In my defense, I did eat a lot of chill peppers."

Lance chuckled, "Alright, time to shorten this down, since this next part would take forever to explain. We arrived in town, after a while, we met two mares. We dated them for a few months, got married to them, and soon got jobs. Graze's sister, Aroma, soon followed and joined up with us. We put our bits together and bought this house, which is pretty nice if you ask me. Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up."

Graze nodded, "Almost, but I'll go into detail later."

Shane looked between them till he was sure they were done, "That was a... interesting story."

Lance smiled, "Wait till we tell you all the other wacky adventures we've been on."

Shane sighed, already tired of talking, "Not now. I've got a massive headache from sitting here."

Graze brightened up, "Oh Lance! We go to take him to Little Pub!"

Shane tiled his head to the side, "What's that place?"

Lance chuckled, "The only bar for miles."

Shane rubbed his chin and thought to himself, 'Bar? They have bars in a little girls show? Man, that's messed up. When I get back home, I'm going to mess with those bronies about this.'

Graze jumped up and pulled Shane to his hooves, "Come on dude, this will clear that headache up!"

Shane sighed, 'I doubt that.'

None the less, he allowed the two ponies to lead him out of the house and down the street.

Seven minutes later, Little Pub

Shane stood by the bar, watching Graze and Lance order a few drinks and chat with a few of the other ponies around them.

Shane didn't like it here. The ponies were so colorful and cheerful, it made him sick to his stomach.

Moments later, Graze trotted over to him with two glass mugs on a tray that was positioned on his back.

He sat one down next to Shane and sat the other one down in front of himself. Lance was making his way over to them, balancing his on his head.

Shane turned and looked at the drink. It had many different colors swirling around in it.

'This drink looks toxic... how can there be so many colors?' Shane thought to himself as he picked it up in his front hoof, 'Okay, how do you use a hoof to hold a mug? That's just unrealistic!'

Shane looked over at Graze, "What's this drink called?"

Graze chuckled, "Skittles. This drink will knock you on your flank after one sip."

Shane furrowed his brow, "Really?"

Lance stepped between them and put his drink on the counter, "Yep, almost knocked me out once. It's the strongest drink on the menu!"

Graze raised his hoof into the air, his drink held firmly in it, "To new friends!"

Lance also raised his, "To new friends!"

Shane hesitated, 'Do I really want to be friends with them?' He looked at their smiling faces and sighed, 'Not really... but what can I do?'

He raised his hoof, "To new friends."

They all clanged their mugs together and began to chug the strong liquid.

" Oh fuck. I think I can smell colours," Shane said a bit tipsy from his first shot.

Comments

[Ian_Okazaki]

I also claim this spot with my amazing ability to read quickly.

[Mard93]

You read my bio didn't ya?
Or is it just a coincidence

[KillJoy]

384796 coincidence

[Mard93]

384802
Oh ok

[KillJoy]

384836 but you sir are really lucky down, I only can wish to go there

[Mard93]

384838
And I know why my friend

[Dleifragcat]

Awesome stuff, Tainted is a troller in disguise

[Vinetion]

[Blue Streak]

A hater learning to love and tolerate from Lance and Graze
I can sense the fun coming

[Dark Lightning]

YEAH, being friends with Graze and Lance.
I wonder if they have Kill,Joy and Break,Dawn with them.

28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll5xqftFR11qbua2oo1_250.gif

[Error 404]

Oh fucking god no.
Tainted better run or hes going to get in a shit load of trouble

Dear god, Equestria is screwed.

[fearanger]

384838 Is this like in an alternate version of Graze's and Lance's life? If so, does that mean the OC's from Living the Dream and Three of me vs School Society won't appear or will only be mentioned?

[KillJoy]

386741 some references would be made, they went to school together

[EvilEnchantress]

"and not sure if like you know what random time Pinkie Launch the cupcake missiles rainbow use sonic rainboom twilight activate the harmony lazer fluttershy use the stare cannons applejack throw the apple grenades ocs use whatever pwers you got rarity your useless to me gok go super sayan golem use self destruct humans use nuke bronies love and tolerate" "And thats how equestria was made" "Oatmeal muffin" "Oat-" "Muffin!" "Twilight its discord I'm joining him harmony is over used" "What he's chaos incarnate" "I know p.t.t.f." what?" "PIE TO THE FACE" "HUMAN GIVE ME YOUR HAND" "NEVA!"

[shoopdahoop678]

386972 ....

[EvilEnchantress]

387607 what I see no need for ... so I copy and edit

"and not sure if like you know what random time Pinkie Launch the cupcake missiles rainbow use sonic rainboom twilight activate the harmony lazer fluttershy use the stare cannons applejack throw the apple grenades ocs use whatever pwers you got rarity your useless to me goku go super sayan golem use self destruct humans use nuke bronies love and tolerate" I ordered "And thats how equestria was made" pinkie says appearing out of nowhere "Oatmeal muffin" Derpy says holding out a muffin to pinkie "Oat-" pinkie starts to say "Muffin!" I yell as I grab th muffin and eat it. "And I win." says discord appearing out of nowhere as well. "Twilight its discord I'm joining him harmony is over used" I say Jumping next to him and pointing to the sky "What!?! he's chaos incarnate!" She exclaims "I know p.t.t.f." I say smiling "what?" She says giving me a strange face "PIE TO THE FACE" I say pulling a pie out of nowhere and throwing it in her face "HUMAN GIVE ME YOUR HAND" Lyra says swinging a butcher knife at my wrist "NEVA!" I yell as I run away.

[shoopdahoop678]

387691 THAT COMMENT STILL DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, NOT EVEN TO PINKIE D:

[EvilEnchantress]

387726 are you sure It makes total sense to me and others have read sililar comments that didn't even have the things saying who's saying and doing what and they understood because you don't understand that means you are ignorant to my level of random

[Atomic Vortex]

Damn it! I was hoping for Graze to hold a grudge! Oh well, I guess that would defeat the whole point.
~Either that or Graze has gone soft.~
Thanks...a fucking...bunch Cyclone for getting us a punch...
~What?!~

[shoopdahoop678]

389039 ... Ok, that I understood.

[EvilEnchantress]

390119 see you understand my lowest level of random (When I'm using random that is infact the lowest level but I CAN TURN RANDOM ON AND OFF ON IS MORE FUN) DAMN YOU CAPS LOCK WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME PRESS YOU

[EvilEnchantress]

390119 "I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams When the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk alone" I sing walking along

"LAUNCH THE FRIENDSHIP MISSILES!" Pinkie yells as rainbow missiles fire at me

"AHHHH! NO PINKIE LEAVE ME ALONE!" "I yell back

"NO YOU MUST BE MY FRIEND OR I"LL FORCE YOU TO EAT CUPCAKES!" She yells

"I HATE CUPCAKES LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yell my throat getting sore

"And thats how equestria was made." pinkie says now back in the present

"No pinkie thats how you attacked me with rainbow painted missiles yesterday." I say calmly back

"I could've said that but the who-mans reading this comment would find it boring." pinkie says breakin the forth wall

"I don't care pinkie because oatmeal." I say

"Oatmeal-" she starts to say

"Yes I am crazy." I interupt her

"CUPCAKE!" Pinkie say trying to stuuff a cupcake in my mouth

"AAHHHHH! NO PINKIE MAKE ME COOKIES I HATE CUPCAKES!" I yell holding her back

"TWILIGHT HELP ME FORCE FEED HIM CUPCAKES!" pinkie yells looking at twilight

"HAHA ALICORN TRANSPHORMATION ACTIVATE!" I yell turning into a red alicorn with fire for hair

"NO HUMAN DON'T CANTERLOT IS IN HEAT!" Lyra yells

"TOO LATE RUNNING NOW!" I say as Celestia appears behind me

"Prepare to be terminated." terminator says chainguns at the ready

"WHAT WA-" I start to say

*Machine gun sounds*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AVAST YE LANDLUBBER!" a pirate yells at me

"NO PIRATE GUY I WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" I yell randomly

"SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS" the pirate starts to sing

"AH SINGING PIRATE!" I yell as I start to run

"Muuuffffiiinnnn." Derpy says holding a muffin

"HAHA I STEAL YOUR MUFFIN DERPY!" I yell garbbing the muffin as I continue to run

"THAT'S MY MUFFIN!" she yell as she flies at me leaving a trail of gray and yellow light

"Oh poop." I say stopping

*Sound of nuke accoponied by giant gray muffin cloud*

"My muffin." derpy says walking away with the muffin

"I'M ALIVE THANK YOU CELESTIA!" I yell to the sky

"Here have a cupcake." pinkie says holding out a cupcake

"Pinkie I don't like cupcakes remember." I say

"Oh ok have this muffin." she says now holding a muffin

*squee* "MUFFIN, OM NOM NOM" I say nomming the muffin

"Nighty night." she says as my vision blurs

"Oh crud monkies" I say before I black out

"Thank goodness you finally woke up now onto the fun part." Pinkie says with a strait mane

"You know pinkie I'm good." I say rejecting the 'fun'

"Oh silly why would you do that that would hurt my feelings." she says smiling evilly

"Oh well I'd prefer not to be kidnaped tortured and eaten" I say pulling my arms foward

*Leather snapping*

"Oh silly I was prepared for that." pinkie says pulling out a remote

*sound of button being pushed followed by mechanichal wirring*

"And I'm free fre falling." I sing as I fall towards some crocodiles

*Boing*

"One croc...." I say as I bounce of the crocodiles snout

*boing*

"Two croc and ladder." I say as I bounce off a second onto a ladder

"Silly I still have a falchion." pinkie says pulling out a falchion

"Pinkie I dont remember falchion's being surgical or torture equipment." I say

"I know but your putting up a larger fight than Gilda." she says pulling out a griffon skull

"Pinkie you amaze me but..." I start to say drifting off

"But what silly?" she asks smilling

"PRESSURE POINT!" I yell jabbing her right behind the jaw

"You are under arrest for harming a subject playing a prank!" Trollestia says appearing out of nowhere

"Go figure." I sa crossing my arms as I'm teleported to prison

Join us next time on random comment!

[shoopdahoop678]

390525 See I could actually follow that, the first comment was all toilet noise.
BWWWAAAAAAAAAAA

[Blank Sound]

Fanfic Picture, y u no make sense?!
AlsothisisreallygoodIcantwaittoseeanewchapterbutIdratherhaveLTDandThreeofMegetupdatedandohmygoshdidIhearthattheOCsfrombothareinthisbecause
iftheyarethereisachanceofmebeinginthereohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshdidIsaythatIreallylikethisbecausetheguythatistheprotagonistisadickandIenjoywa
tchinghimgetconvertedslowlyandpainfullyfuntime!

[EvilEnchantress]

390582 hmm well atleast you followed but did you enjoy that is the question

[shoopdahoop678]

395503 TO ENJOY OR NOT ENJOY
THAT IS THE PICKLE

[jojo]

One thing why would Shane say buck? He hates ponies no? So why would he say something that would really only be used by a brony in that context. It would make more sense that he say fuck....that will be all

[Ice]

This is good but their is a much better version which you've kind of ripped off i.e. this

[Joy2urmom]

420875 we didn't rip off of anything man, I'm sure we never even read that. So basically, it's not ripping off.

[Ice]

421369 Fine not ripping off just.......................................................................doing it once and now we're probaby gonna see a lot of people doing

[Tay the Chemist]

So, the worlds and writings of two extremely good fan fiction writers...
...
...
The world will end because of the sheer amount of awesome! Wait...
Nah, still

[Zephyrius]

Shipping prediction.... Aroma and Tainted Shadow perhaps?

[Silver Sea]

Epic.

[Raven Smite]

Can't wait to see where ths goes... Although, I take it that Lance isn't a Brony sent from a dead human world in this story?

[Blue Streak]

I wonder when the next chapter will come out?
I liked the first two

[JellyDrivex64]

PERFECT!

[ImClinicallyDepressed]

And he disappeared, without leaving a trace.