Twilight wasn't supposed to say anything about magical blue boxes or her secret love who should have never been alive, but Discord is a jerk who made sure she told all her secrets. Now she is faced with the impossible truth of the impossible future and all because she hitched a ride with an impossible man. Crossover with Doctor Who, eventual side plot featuring the CMC, ships including Celestia&Discord, Twilight&OC, and The Doctor&Derpy, I also ship Rainbow with Applejack, but I won't get much into their relationship in this story. Also know that I'm not opposed to the occasional cus words and sexy time reference, so this is rated T for a reason. Please read and rate! Lot's of love LiBP. (lunaisbestpony) *Editor needed, please PM me*
Cover art by Follow focus
So...Yeah. I saw Twilight X OC and then you went and said that is was doctor who. So...Doctor Whooves? The character that already has a tag? Cause you could probably avoid OC downvotes if you just did that.
The thing I really got irked by was your censoring. Why? You already rated the story teen. That means that you CAN swear in it. There is no need to censor it.
It moved like a freight trian through a hundered mile open strech. FAST.
You said the next bit is a detour? Don't do that. Flesh out the main story more first. This is already going too fast. If you jump to something else you're going to lose much of the attentions you had garnered with the first chapter.
That's all. I'm out.
3969629 Thank you for your review! I will defiantly try to slow down the next chapter a little, and I went and uncensored the curse words on the first chapter. And, yes, I am pairing Twilight with an OC, not doctor whooves. The Doctor and Derpy are together in this and I don't do love triangle drama. A little spoiler, the boy I'm going to pair Twi with doesn't live in the same time she does. I'm sorry if I rushed the first chapter, I was super excited to get to everything else, there's a lot. Thank you so much for being my first reviewer to my first fimfic!
Twilight is a proper noun (as someone's name) so it is always capitalized.
Remove the comma.
Multiple issues with writing dialogue and an overly rushed pacing. If you wanted to introduce the side plot, you could have just added it into this chapter and put a break between the two sections. It would also look better if you added spaces between the paragraphs, but isn't necessary.
Too much dialogue, not enough description. Other than that, it is actually pretty good. Just get a proofreader or do it yourself.
3972166
Thank you! I'm flattered that you liked it. I'll see what I can do when it comes to rewriting, I really need to slow things down. I got a bit over excited and kinda rushed the chapter. 
again, thank you for taking the time to write a review. 
I really appreciate it.
3970234 Yeah. Anyone who knows Dr. Who would know that there would be time thingers in it. But you said Boy. Is this going to be an OC doctor?
3972700 No. Let's just say Twi knows a lot more than she lets on about certain blue boxes and time traveling ponies.
but we'll get into her past/future in later chapters.
EXTERMINATE
3994638 Thanks for the comment did you like the story?
Maybe....maybe not. You will never know
Well I did like the story and I'm looking forward to the next one.
This is so exciting :D I want more. Really good story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
P.S.: You spelled follow incorrectly :D
3997039 Thank you, for the tip and the review!I'm really glad to like it!
3995719 Thankyou!
So is twilights lover dead and in history or not born yet. That is my one question for now.
So is twilights lover dead and in history or not born yet. That is my one question for now.
3998918 He's somepony from the future.
Comma after "gushed". "follow" not "fallow".
Capitalize his proper noun name.
Time not Tim.
Just capitalize all names.
Actually better than the last chapter, good job.
3997741 You're welcome :)
Please Review!
This is beginning to get interesting. I think you should keep the Celestia plot and switch back and forth. That;s just my opinion on it though,
4379940
Thank you! I think so too, switching will help me a bit when the plot starts to drag.
This reminds me of my story, The Princess and The Lord of time...
4380000 I haven't read it. I can if you want me to. Did you like it ok?
4380003 yeah, I like it so far.
4380015 Thank you!! I wrote the first 2 chapters months ago, but I wasn't able to post the third one until today.
Also I'd wager that your story sounds like mine 
seeing how your's was first posted in April and mine in February.
4380025 I didn't even know about your story until now.
4380032 Eh, nopony does really, I think mine is a fairly good fic, but not near as good as the other fics on the site. I'm just glad hat somepony took the time to read it.
thanks for that.
4380050 No Problem, here, have a follow!
4380055 Yay! You have one too!
4380064 Thanks.
I'll need more than this if I'm going to review it for you... But it needs a little work from what I can see, while you wrote the Doctor's randomness beautifully, I feel it was lacking in some way I can't quite put to words. It has a lot of potential, I see a lot of wonderful Timey Whimeyness, but If you are planning on making this your principle fic, perhaps you should consider writing a few one shots and smaller pieces to get some more practice.
Maybe read some of the more popular fics on FIM. Like this one for instance Foal of the Forest. It has five sequels and is extremely indepth and well written.
alright, i'm gonna give this a read later tonight and give you a review when I'm done.
4399964 Thank you! The first chapter is a little shaky, but it gets much better come chapter two.
Hmmm not tp keep picking on you but u may want to put in something to let the reader know there has been a change in perception.
4402163 Got it, I'll get right on it.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: MLP Forums Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Twilight's Secret
Grammar score out of 10: 8
Pros
-Clearly a passion project, very energetic writing apparent throughout, which is always a good thing
-Mane 6 and CMC all seem to be well in character here
-Potential for quite a bit of comedic situations down the road, in addition to some of the fun comedy there's been already
Cons
-Very fast paced, in addition to two subplots being juggled beside the main story right now
-Those who don't watch Doctor Who might not get some references (but hey, that's a risk with almost every crossover)
-No clear, distinct segues between sections; scenes abruptly start and finish
Notes Section
So yeah, if I'm being totally honest, I actually like your other story more than this one. Part of that could be that I don't actually watch Doctor Who so don't get most references in this fic, but that's not it overall. On the whole, I think it's that, for me, this seems to be far more apparently a fan fiction than your other fic. What do I mean by that? Well, it's hard to say, it's just that... the plot seems to be playing out exactly as one would expect a fan fiction crossover of this nature to do so. Ponies meet the Doctor and the Tardis and all the whackiness that ensues from those two worlds colliding.
Now, I'm not saying that's a problem, not in the slightest. For one, you're clearly very into this, and it's always important that an author care about her own work. Also, I am intrigued by who exactly Twilight's fallen for and finding out who he is (especially since it's not Flash Sentry
). Some of the comedy so far has been a lot of fun, and I think the CMC subplot especially has comedic potential (for some reason, I think it would be absolutely hilarious if the Mane 6 never even found out they snuck aboard, like they somehow JUST keep missing each other as they get up to their own things, but that's just me). You do have to watch out for the number of subplots you try to juggle simultaneously; the Celestia one seems like it could especially get the story off track. Also, not calling out swearing in general, but Celestia dropping an f-bomb in her thoughts seemed a bit OOC for her, like I feel like she'd have a much less crass way to express her surprise even in her own head. Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential to get even more fun than it already is, but caution you to not try and jam pack too much into it seeing as it's already fast paced as is.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Batmare Begins
Alright, seeing as how the reviewer below me covered some of the aspects of the story, I'll jump on some others.
COMMENDABLE: For starters, you actually have correct paragraph spacing and indenting. That may seem little, but that is a major flaw with a lot of authors. Also, the plot seems rather unique so far. It's not something that comes around every day.
NEEDS IMPROVEMENT: Alright, I'm just going to bring up a couple examples. Those dislikes up there didn't come because this is a bad story, but because of a few small errors that are easily remedied.
First, you have some punctuation errors when it comes to dialogue and action tags. For example:
Those should be periods as opposed to commas, or better yet, it could be rewritten something like this: "She needed a break from their constant fighting of the past few months."
Notice, it's simple, short and gets the point across
Secondly, a lot of the narration and tags tends to be overly wordy, pretty much to where it's kind of unnecessary. Like this, for example:
That could much more simply be written like this: "Pinkie wrapped her in a hug, joy emanating from her smile."
It says the same thing, but it's shorter and less wordy, which is easier on the eyes for the reader.
Now, when it comes to some other things, like pacing and whatnot, the Authors group review talked about that, so I'll not overdo it and talk about it again.
Also, I don't watch Dr. Who either, so I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot of humour and content you put in here involving his character.
Either way, you have a good thing going here, and if you take to heart the small things I mentioned, you'll be even more awesome.
Keep rocking! 
4407390 Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the story. I've been working on editing a bunch of things, I really need to edit the 4th chapter in particular. It's pretty rough and my thoughts are really segmented, I need to blend things together better. Also, the wordiness comes from over-editing on my part, sorry about that.
Also, sorry about the confusion, I was kind of counting on a reader already being a whovian before reading. I had this scene earlier where Twilight gave a bunch of exposition about the TARDIS and what it was used for, but it really super slowed things down and was almost annoying to re-read. I'll try to make wordy things more short and to the point from now on, plus I'll go back and see where I can make changes and fill non-whovians in a bit more. 
Thank you for reading!
OMG my favorite ship :o You won me :D
please update
and ill give you a cyber cookie