Axel's P.O.V, 1,038 years ago.
Today was going to be a good day, the sun was shining and the weather was perfect for today. You see, today is the first day of Comic Con and since it was also my eighteenth birthday, me and thirteen of my friends have decided to come here cosplaying as Organization XIII from Kingdom Hearts to celebrate. We planned eight months ahead to get the passes to get in, work on all of our costumes, save up to rent some rooms at a hotel, build our weapons on a small budget, and plan on how we would get there. In the end it was all worth it and we were ready to take on Comic Con.
The first thing I noticed when I got out of Gorge's car was that there were incredible amount of people dressed out in different kinds of characters form TV to video games. After getting a good look I then looked to where my little brother Dominic was, he was cosplaying as Roxas due to him only being sixteen and one of the shortest of our group of friends standing at only 5.10 inches. I found him a few feet away from the car we were in and he looked speechless, probably due to the fact this is his first time coming to Comic Con.
"So, now are you happy that we got you dressed up Donny?" I said while messing with his hair playfully.
"You know what yah, I guess spending two hours of your girlfriend getting my measurements for my costume and having my hair dyed blond was worth it." He said as he move to get away from me messing with his hair.
I was happy to hear that, but I just noticed that our sister wasn't over here." Ah Donny, where's Sam?"
"I'm in the back trying to get my Keyblade!" I hear Sam calling over from the back of the car. Sam was cosplaying as Xion due to her being the same age as Donny, this was because Donny and Sam were twins, making me the oldest one out of the three of us by almost two years.
She got out of the back seat and walked over us, she walked to where I was and gave me a hug." Happy birthday Kyle, and thanks for having us come with you." She said to me well looking up at me with a big smile on her face.
"Are you kidding, Kyle would never want to have a birthday without you two."Said Gorge who was walking to us after he was just getting his claymore that Saix used from the back of his car of which we drove in. Gorge was my best friend and he was going as Saix and he's about the same height as me. "Besides, who else would we find to be Roxas and Xion?"
"Dude don't tell them or else our evil plans to take over Comic Con will be ruined!" I said in a joking manner to him, causing all four of us to laugh.
After the brief laugh period, Gorge was the first one to speak. "Well we better meet with the others, I just got a text from Drake saying that they're at the entrance waiting for us." With that, we walked to where the rest of the group was waiting for us.
We finally caught up with the rest of our group and made it inside. Once in, we question of what were going to do first until Francis who was cosplaying as Luxord sense he was the only one of us who can grow a beard suggested we go get some souvenirs at the dealer room. With no other ideas we headed straight for the dealer room. We looked for about five minutes to try to find a booth that had something of interest, that was until Donny spoke.
"Hay guys look over there." We looked to were he was pointing to see a booth that had nothing but Kingdom Hearts, and the best part was that there was no one but the seller at the booth.
We walked to the booth we could see all kinds of KH merchandise, shirts, posters etc., when we did get there the person who was selling the stuff spoke. "Well I didn't think the entire Organization XIII would come to see what I have for sale."
"Well we like to go out and do what the 'everyday man' does every once in awhile, and it seems that this was the perfect time to do it." Drake said to the seller in a slight joking tone.
"Rightfully so... but I think you need to get your weapons replaced." The seller was right, our weapons were either made from PBC pipe and foam held together by hot glue or by other means due to the budget we had, however the seller only smiled at this. "Lucky for all of you, I have just what you need."
Before we could question as to what he means, he walks to something that's being covered by a tarp, he pulled it back to reveal each and every one of the Organization's weapons, they were not those fake plastic ones, they were made of metal and they look like they're real. "Now normally if you bought the whole set it would be over five thousand, but since you guys are playing the act and how badly you need some better equipment, I'll sell it for five hundred."
Now I'm pretty sure that it was illegal to sell us props that look like real weapons... but when are you ever going to get fake weapons that look this good and at that price!
We bought them and the each of the 'fake' weapons were given to there respected owner. After two minutes walking I noticed Benny, who was cosplaying Demyx looked a bit sick. "Hay guys, can we sit somewhere... my head is pounding..."
"Now that you mention it... so is mine..." I said to him, looking back I could see that all of us looked like were having a migraine, before I could say anything I was starting to black out.
The last thing I saw before being swallowed in blackness was everyone of us falling to the ground, weapons in hand.
Celestia's P.O.V , Present day
Today was going to be a good day; today, I have decided that Luna and I should just have a peaceful day with my sister and spend time with the elements of harmony, now I know that it may sound a bit selfish of me not doing any work today, but I'm the princess I can do what ever the hell I want.
Coming out of the door I saw each of the elements coming up to me and bow, I hate it when they do that. "There's no need for that my little ponies, especially you Twilight." I said to all of them in my calm manner.
They all got up and then Twilight came up to me and gave me a big hug. "Oh Princess, I cant believe you and Luna took the day off just to spend time with us."
"Believe me I would love nothing more then to spend time with all of you. And trust me when I say this I will make sure nothing will stop us from having time together."
"All except an old acquaintance coming to say hi."
No... that can't be...
"What's the matter Celli? Cat got your tongue?"
All of the sudden, a black portal spawn from thin air, only to disappear as fast as it came. The only thing that was left was an all too familiar tall bipedal creature with reddish long hear in a black leather hooded coat.
"Hello everypony, did yah miss me?." The man said with that creepy smile of his.
I was speechless, not only did this mean that the spell had finally worn off, but that means his friends will wake up soon too... if they haven't already. "You... how..."
"Oh its so nice that you remember me even after all these years Celli." He said as he was walking up to me, but before he could make another steep, Applejack had stepped in his way.
"Hold it there partner, just who the hay are ya?!" Despite her aggressive tone, he just laughed in response.
"My oh my, just woke up and already forgetting to introduce myself. Just who am I you ask? Oh, my names Axel." He stopped for a moment just so he can do what he always does when he introduces himself; points to one side of his head.
"Got it memorized?"
Barely played any KH but whatever, I'll read this
Can't wait to see what happens
You got my fave bro
You got a fav like and follow I am a Hugh kingdom hearts fan and I love demyx
And then Luna though Xemnas was in love with her because he made a heart shaped moon. THE END
I'll give you a favorite for now. You gotta earn the like.
3973774 DAMN IT HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!
3973801 You think that's all? There's more! I predict that 'darkness' will be said at least 250 times by the end of that fic.
3973810 You know what, I dare you to count how many times I use the word darkness in this story!
I think that you are in need of an editor or proofreader. Still, you have made me interested in Kingdom Hearts, so you earn a like.
I know that I'm pretty like that myself.Here are some errors that I picked up that are easily fixable:
Change that to 'where.' Where denotes a place, while were is denoting the past. It's an easy mistake to make.
Change that to worn off. I don't know what word that is, but worn is the correct word to use here.
put one of these in between the n and t: '
revile? No, reveal. Wont basically means that it is what they want to do. Change it to won't. Also, put a comma between fake plastic ones and they were made of metal.
Still, good work! You have a good fic, just make sure to iron out these little niggles. I'll point out more later.
3973850
'Weren't' is a better term, as in 'they were not those fake plastic ones'. 'Won't' is 'will not'.
In regards to the story itself, I agree that you should probably get a proofreader, Mr. Darkstone. However, 'tis a decent enough start, and you have my attention.
3973850
3973889 I admit that when it comes to proofreading, I suck at, its one of my major flaws as a writer.
You have my favorite I wish to see more of this!
3973940 Ask and you shall receive... whenever I get to around to it that is.
Things happen so fast. Slow down, bro. Maybe give some more actions to the characters. Don't just go: We're gonna have a picnic, oh wait no we're not, because Axel broke free. We don't even know why he was imprisoned to begin with. I better hear something about this next chapter.
3974155 Yah I kind of rushed it at the end didn't I, but I well explain why he was imprisoned or at the very least give you an idea of what happened.
3974260 Right now I'm actually hoping they did SOME sort of evil. That would justify their imprisonment a lot better than the sisters saying: New bipedal creatures we've never met before? Must be evil. Let's imprison 'em!
wait how and where he imprisoned again?
3974510 Dunno yet. All Celestia notes is that A: Axel's return means some spell has worn off, and B: Axel's return means his friends, the rest of Org 13, will be waking up soon.
3973831 You're on!
One word.
Moar.
Enough said.
"Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts. The rage of the keyblade releases those hearts, where they gather in darkness, masterless and free, until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts and we can truly, finally exist."
Saix.
You've got my interest.
The only time I came close to playing Kingdom hearts was in a day care center.
And now that this story has got my attention I need someone with an acute knowledge of exactly how evil orignization Xlll is and what powers they have
If someone could reply I'd give a like on everyone of their stories
Nice start so far.
I do hope the pace will slow a bit in later chapters. Right now it's a bit breakneck.
another problem that involves grammar.
Don't you mean "our" plans?
Terrible grammar but the story makes up for it.
MOAR!
Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
This is AWESOME
I love the kingdom hearts series and I gotta say, this is amazing. Can't wait for more.
"Got it memorized?"
*Sees chapter title*
I see what you did there.
3977095 ... Yah you're way off, I named it that because it's his catchphrase , not because of another fanfic, hell, I didn't even know that fanfic existed.
Shouldn't this be on the KH group as well?
3977244 You should read it is soooooo funny. It neary beat my fourth fave MLP story, and my fave Kingdoom Hearts story Keyblade's light
3977381 Do you know of any?
3977536
Yes
3977550 Thank you.
If anyone is interested on the current status of this story, I made a blog to tell you what's going on.
I really hope that this ends up being a good organization fic. I haven't been able to find a good one yet. Unless anyone has something to recommend.
I See the following Errors
Hello there, my name is or was Kyle but now I go by Axel. You see, want started as
But you know what, I don't care; if I'm stuck here and miss sun butt isn't going to help us get home then I might as well have some fun well I'm here till we find a way home.
Change "Want" to What and "Well" to while
3974155
I bet they'll be all like
cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/dexter.jpg
Mkay, outta all the LoHAV stories, this be the one that I'm willing to aid in the editing of.
Lemme just take a look-see here...
planned
our
No apostrophe necessary.
Again, our.
where
our
Would probably read better as 'I said while messing with his hair playfully.'
hair, again.
our
Should just be drove.
they're
caught would work better here.
Once in, we
since
our
they're
whole, since, I'll
Should probably be 'so is mine...'
will wake up soon, too...
...That was actually enjoyable!
I might've missed some capitalization, some spacing...but methinks you could catch that.
3980437 Have I mention that I'm terrible at proofreading.
3982187
Have I mentioned I have spellcheck and OCD?
3982193 Well, I fixed them, sorry for the terrible spelling.
3982264
Perfectly willing to be an editor.
I have, after all, played KH.
So when I see this join our wonderful LoHAV-verse, I want to make sure it's done right.
3982329 ...My friend, I would have to be sane not to accept your offer.
Missed a few!
our, in both instances.
Should be capitalized in both instances.
Should probably be a period in there.
A cursory glance reveals everything else as nominal.
3982414 ... Ok its official, you can be my editor.
Aw dammit. Missed a few. My OCD will not let me be...
Capitalization.
Should probably be seems.
...Okay, I think that's all the errors. Right? RIGHT?
3982440 IF YOU EVER GIVE UP ON THIS STORY I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND BREAK YOUR LEGS
3982520 ... Ok... please don't hurt me...